Secrets
by Vinceypoo
Summary: Edward and his family live day after day hiding themselves from the rest of the world. What happens when Edward finds someone else who is hiding where he least expects it? - Slash- More inside!
1. Thirst

_So this is a re-write of an already published story. For those of you who have already read the original "Secrets," there will be dozens, some very significant, plot changes._

_For those of you who haven't...A story between Edward and OC-Nathan. This is what happens when the Cullen clan is faced with an immortal where they would least expect it. Both Edward and Nathan have secrets - this is a story of what happens when the two cross paths. Edward and the Cullens learn quickly that Vampires and Werewolves aren't the only things that go bump in the night; all they can do is hope they're still highest on the food-chain. _

_ Plenty of Love, angst, and magic to go around :) Please RxR!_

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**Edward**

Another day. Another sluggish day of high school. The same menial lessons, same petty thoughts, and the same shrill from Mrs. Goff's voice. In a way it was a slight comfort; I was able to think and get away from the thoughts of my family. That isn't saying that I relished hearing the trite ramblings from the students of Forks High School. ] Endless dramas of who liked who, who was wearing what, or other meaningless anxieties. I sat in quiet contemplation during Spanish class; Mrs. Goff had a tendency to let me relax unbothered, she knew my Spanish was better than her's anyway.

I let her voice fade into the background as students' thoughts raced through my mind. Most of it was the same boring nonsense. Part of the responsibility to my family was to ensure that there were no suspicions of us amongst the students and teachers here. It was a task that I did not enjoy, but seemed avoidable none-the-less. I had noticed today there was buzz about a new student. It was almost sad how much this excited the majority of the students; Even the teachers were caught gossiping about this small piece of news. Nathan Aldan… Most of the girls seemed utterly infatuated him at this point, but I couldn't help but be relieved from their distraction. I couldn't find out much more than this except that he was an exchange student from Hong Kong.

As absolutely stimulating as these pre-pubescent girl's thoughts were, my books were prepared and I was out the door as the bell rang loudly throughout the school. Both Emmett and I walked toward the cafeteria having another one-sided conversation.

"_Lets skip on Friday and go early. Its bear season" _thought Emmett

I nodded. Despite the fact he was nearly eighty years old, Emmett still acted like a child sometimes. I didn't need to be able to read his thoughts to know how excited he was, Emmett always looked forward to this time of the year. Bear blood was a nice change, less bitter than the standard elk we hunted.

Emmett and I went to sit at our usual table, Jasper and Alice were already sitting down when we got there; Rosalie coming only moments later. She took Emmett's hand in hers and they smiled at each other. I tried my best to keep out of their thoughts regardless of how loud they were. Alice greeted me with a smile and thought _"Today has been weird, everything is a bit…Fuzzy. I don't like it."_ She thought with a small pout on her face. I ignored her, it felt too tiresome to even respond. I tried to nibble on a carrot in front of me in order to maintain a nonchalant and very _human_ image, but this was one of those times when it seemed to take ages to get through a single day.

The mundane task of sitting in the cafeteria seemed to change as an uproar of thoughts began to manifest themselves. All of them were centered on one person, Nathan Aldan. I couldn't help but look and see for myself the person that had made so many girls, and even some boys, swoon in his direction. He was shockingly ordinary in every way. He stood around 5'9 with a plain brown hair that was just short of covering his eyes, he wasn't particularly big or skinny. He did however carry himself in a certain manner that instantly separated him from most of Forks; there was a silent confidence in the way he moved.

He'd been ushered to sit down by Mike Newton, a gesture that seemed kind on the surface. Although with further prying it became apparent the jealousy that Mike was to harbor for him. Jessica Stanley was absolutely oozing over him, she was already making her plans to ask him to the dance coming up. The entire table seemed to be giving him their undivided attention while he sat down, somewhat awkwardly, and picked at some of French fries while answering the question after question.

"How long was the flight here?" Angela asked with genuine curiosity. I liked seeing things from her perspective; her mind was a pleasant place to be.

"Umm…" Nathan scratched his head while he thought "About 17 hours." There were a couple of gasps, not all of them genuine. Jessica seemed a little more eager to please him, to the point it came off as false. I followed their conversation for lack of anything else to do. It took me a moment, but I realized I hadn't heard this boy's thoughts. I focused on him but heard nothing but faint whispers, as if it was a muffled voice behind a door. There were bits and pieces but nothing remotely recognizable. This had never happened to me before – I most certainly didn't know how to react to it. I didn't even notice I'd been staring in the boy's direction for at least a minute or two until Mike Newton, asking no one in particular "Why is Cullen staring over here?"

Nathan seemed a bit confused at first, but eventually looked where the rest of the table had turned to. I looked into his eyes for the briefest of moments, a small part of me had hopes to cure that faint buzzing when I had connected with his eyes. Although my wish was not fulfilled, I found myself faced with something unexpected

Those green eyes of his were not green at all. Green would not simply do them justice. There to be several different colors to them, a deep a golden shade much more intense than my own, a jade green, followed by a strong iridescent forest green. All three shades of such pure luminosity contacts were out of the question. I was in awe of what I was seeing, and I only had a couple of second to experience it before he looked away looking slightly flustered. How had I not seen that originally? How can everyone at the table be sitting with him and not think of the abnormal eyes this boy had?

"_What was that all about? You stared at that boy for 2 and a half minutes."_ Alice questioned me through her thoughts. I knew I wasn't going to be able to maneuver through this situation without some sort of fight, so I settled for at least half of the story, for now. I spoke in a tone so low and fast the humans around us wouldn't have been able to hear, even if they cared enough to listen, which I doubt they did.

"I can't hear his thoughts." I admitted.

That seemed to get the attention from most of them, all of a sudden I felt as though I was being interrogated. It wasn't aggressive, but they were overly curious. I found the entire topic irritating, a constant reminder of my inability. The group of them had began to talk amongst themselves while I was drowned in my own thought. Since I wasn't able to use my secondary hearing I chose to listen to the table from my seat. I felt weak being so interested in a human simply because I couldn't read his thoughts. It was like a child wanting candy simply because they couldn't have it.

"Cullen, is that his name?" Nathan asked in a curious tone. Through my peripherals I noticed him looking at our table occasionally but I didn't dare look again the rest of the hour. I listened to the jaded explanations of our family that Mike Newton and Jessica had offered. Normally it may have brought a slight grin to my face, but at this point I found myself obsessing over the fact I didn't know what he was thinking. Did he believe them? Or was he just humoring their insecurities? He never returned any judgments when they called me a 'freak' or Alice weird, he simply nodded and went back to his meal uncomfortably.

I found a small part of me saddened when the lunch hour came to an abrupt end. I was equally disgusted with myself that I had been interested by the idea of eavesdropping on these humans. Not a day ago I had found the act to be an entirely bothersome and draining experience. The five of us got up heading to our respective classes, Alice looked at me and thought "_Be careful in Biology."_ I didn't really know what she had meant by this. Later this week we were blood typing, but today seemed perfectly harmless. Whatever it was, it couldn't be too dangerous or she would have warned me to skip class.

After making my way into Biology and sitting at my usual table I already knew what we were doing for today's lab. As usual, I was alone. Everyone had picked a table away from me, which wasn't surprising as were bound to feel uncomfortable sitting in such a close proximity. I much preferred it this way, although it became apparent only seconds later that I would no longer have this table to myself. The new guy, Nathan, came into the classroom staring at a piece of paper that I assumed had the classroom number on it. After getting it signed and receiving his textbook the teacher, he was ushered toward the table I sat in. I could hear several girl's sighs of disappointment as he took his seat next to me.

After taking his seat I could feel the slight movement of air around him from the movement. Suddenly my entire body was on fire, It felt as though I had ran into an open flame. The thirst consumed me entirely. I could feel this boy's pulse on the tip of my tongue while I stiffened up from the pain; unable to focus on anything but this new scent. It was not something human, it couldn't possibly be. I glared at him, feeling the firey emotion protruding from my eyes. I was no longer thinking rationally, the monster had taken over. I could kill everyone in the room in less than 20 seconds, no one would even have the time to react. Once everyone was dead…I would have that blood all to myself. It would be a feast, the thought of his blood rolling down my throat to cure this fire that had enveloped my entire body excited me in more ways than one. Eighteen humans seemed a small price to pay for such a bounty.

I balled my hands into fists, focusing all of my rage toward this one human. Time passed so slowly I was sure that there was no way I would be able to last these 55 minutes. Trying to focus, I thought about my family. Of course they would forgive me, but I didn't want them to have to uproot themselves once again; we were just getting used to Forks again, but everything seemed insignificant compared to the taste of his blood. The boy looked over to me – blinking in slight confusion. He must have seen how close I was to killing him, being so close to a murderous frenzy of course it would have shown through my eyes. I did notice that his abnormally colored eyes were back to their previous plain green. His eyes were the least of my worries at this point. Nathan just stared for a moment, confused I thought, or maybe just frustrated. He just turned his attention back to the lecture. The boy seemed oddly absorbed in the notes he was taking from this very dry lecture on osmosis; he careful not to look again at me for the rest of the period.

After what felt like an eternity, the bell rang and I was out of my seat, fighting my every instinct as I quite literally ran away from my tormentor.


	2. Meeting

**Nathan**

_Life in Forks was exactly as I had imagined it. Dull, repetitive, and incredibly wet. It felt as though Forks was everything that Hong Kong was not. While that would have been perfect for someone who wanted to avoid the incessant noise pollution, large crowds, and bright lights, those were things I had come to accept and love about my home. I was now confronted with a dreary excuse for a town; if you could even call it that. Maybe time would change my opinions on this place, but that seemed to be growing increasingly unlikely with each passing day._

I woke up with a gasp when I glanced at the clock and it was definitely _not_ ringing. The bright red numbers blinked 8:15. I could do this, I had ten minutes to get dressed, have everything prepared for class, and drive to school. Possible. Although I knew it wouldn't likely to happen that way. Running around the house as fast as I could, grabbing and slipping on anything that even resembled clothing, it must have sounded as if there was a hurricane passing through the house. After shoving my papers into my backpack, I couldn't help but rush to the bathroom and finish the rest of my morning chores.

While this routine did consist of the average brushing my teeth, washing my face, and fixing any other vain details that were off; there were some extra tasks I needed to add onto my list. Staring into the mirror, a pair of gold and green eyes greeted me. My eyes had three different irises that blended together fluidly in a melting of color. I couldn't help but sigh. Since I had left Hong Kong, there was no avoiding this fate. Before at home I was able to be myself in my own house. That was a luxury I could no longer afford.

These eyes of mine were not human at all. Down my family tree, beginning with my mother, my grandmother, a human, had two children with a _Sidhe_ (Prounounced SHE). That was the proper term, although I think most humans would probably use the term faerie. With every generation the blood got weaker and weaker, so I am some sort of diluted form of a freak. I have no siblings with whom I could discuss this bizarre connection, and it was typically taboo with my mother who carried the same blood in her veins. I'm not sure what its like for people who are closely linked with their heritage since my mother avoided any discussion of it. The only time it was brought up was the subject of hiding our uniqueness. Other than my eyes – my hair was also very unnatural. I suppose you could call it brown, but my mother described it as amber with splashes of honey. There was no doubt that I could have kept my natural coloring and just credited some top salon, but I tried to avoid the spotlight when I could. I hated lying, so I tried to give people very few reasons to question me. This is why I had to go through such a daily ritual. Especially in a place like Forks it was vital to my survival that I remain as ordinary as possible.

Closing my eyes, I sighed, concentrating on the subtle changes I was about to put my body through. In my head there was an image of me – a different me- everything that was extraordinary was dumbed down into an ideal sort of mediocrity. Opening them, I watched as all of my features became less pronounced. The best way I could describe myself once the golden irises had turned into a pale green, my amber colored hair a dull brown, and gave my skin the smallest splash of color to avoid the moonlit glow of my skin. The changes were incredibly subtle, it was like watching a flower bloom, You could always see the changes day after day yet you were never quite able to catch the stem actually moving. I could maintain this façade indefinitely as long as I continued just the slightest bit of concentration. It was like people who choose to suck in their belly every moment of the way – except I was sucking in a bizarre, otherworldly belly day after day.

I never slipped up. Never lost my concentration, only once had it happened. Of course it happened in this small little town where I was certain secrets were impossible to keep once one had escaped. When Edward Cullen and I made eye contact. Everything seemed to disappear in that one moment that I hadn't even realized I lost control. His expression was blank as he stared at me. Eventually I decided to look away and not risk a second encounter, no matter how badly I desire to look in his direction. If he had noticed, which he probably hadn't, most humans would talk about it. Or at the very least seek out a second encounter. He did neither of these that I had noticed, instead Edward Cullen reacted differently than I would have ever expected.

He looked at me as though I had done something imaginable to him. There was such an intense hatred in his eyes it made me incredibly uncomfortable. I'm not sure why…The only logical reason was that he was furious about when he saw my eyes. Did he think I was an alien or something? Probably for the best – I suppose. Surely he would be too embarrassed to spread this theory amongst the students at the school. With a great sigh at my mediocre image – I toward my car, my socks slipping on the hard wood floors. I only slid once on our freshly waxed hard wood floors, however somehow managed to catch myself before reaching the level of disaster.

This experience of being a foreign exchange student had been forced upon me as a practice in living amongst humans, as a human. For that reason multiple steps were taken to ensure I appeared to be just like any other student in Forks – ranging from the clothes I wore to the car I drove. I'd been given a black Saturn Ion for the duration of my stay. I've been getting used to driving everywhere rather than public transportation. I expected to dislike this change, however it was a welcome one. There is a new sort of freedom being separated from the schedule that is mass-transit. While driving (much faster than I should have been) I found myself conflicted. Part of me hoped desperately that Edward Cullen would _not_ be in biology for the 2nd day in a row, however, I wanted to see if he acted differently toward me today. If I didn't know myself better, I would have planned to call him out on his rudeness. I laughed at the thought. Edward's murderous glare as I desperately tried to see what was wrong, yea…that most certainly was not going to happen.

Once I pulled into the parking-lot I noticed everyone had already gone in. Shit. Glancing at my cell phone I was already late. I groaned miserably, this was not a good impression to make. It felt like I was still being judged by most of my teachers, I knew they had expected some entitled rich brat. I'd done my best to abolish this notion – at this point all I wanted was to fall under the spotlight.

I quietly opened the door to my English class and made several small bows out of habit before I had a moment to realize where I was, and what I was doing. Both the teacher and most of the students just stared at me for a couple of seconds and began laughing quietly. By now I had no doubt my ears and cheeks had began to flush as I fought with myself to suppress it so no one would see. I could still feel the warmth in my cheeks but was relatively confident I had hidden it effectively. The class went by glacially slow. Jessica Stanley was still making passes at regardless of how oblivious I had acted. All I could do was hope she would give up eventually.

I chose my seat next to Eric, he seemed like a nice guy. I hadn't met many people who seemed cool so far, all they saw me as was a student from Hong Kong; one of the most exciting things to happen to Forks High School in years. I hadn't decided if he was just like the rest – but he seemed excited at the aspect of being able to speak Cantonese. I couldn't really blame him, Forks was quite the homogenous town. I doubt he ever spoke it since he said his parents preferred to speak English. People would give me weird stares when I spoke Chinese was an undeniable downfall of doing this, so I'd resorted to speaking it quietly when Eric and I chatted; or if I was feeling particularly embarrassed, replying in English. It was comfortable knowing everyone wouldn't be listening to my every word.

Time passed slowly the rest of the day too. Funny how time passed so terribly slow when you had a destination at hand. My destination was to see if Edward Cullen was here today. Sure, there were plenty of distractions. Actually a little _too_ many distractions. I felt like whenever I had a chance to relax my thoughts there would be a face infront of me eagerly asking questions. It was incredibly draining, I found myself wanting to take a nap half way through the day. However, half way point was good. I walked over to the cafeteria while talking with Eric feeling that hope in the bottom of my chest. Why was I so excited to see someone who obviously hated me? I wasn't excited! Just curious, yea, curious. I shrugged off the thought and scanned the lunch table where the Cullens sat.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw him. It took me a moment before I noticed Eric was still talking "Dude, what's up?" he must have noticed I had stopped. Out of instinct I stopped looking toward the Cullens and turned to Eric with a tired expression while I scratched my head "Oh. Uh, I'm just starving. I'm gonna go get some food now, later." I waved while heading off toward the food line using all of my willpower to avoid looking toward the Cullen's table. I tapped my foot anxiously; impatient with the slow moving line. I could look over my shoulder casually and no one would notice, right? It took a little more convincing before I finally looked over my shoulder first to the table with Eric, Angela, Jessica, and Mike making a slow and careful transition to the Cullens. Who to my absolute horror, were all staring in my direction in the midst of what I thought was a terribly clever move. I immediately turned my head infront of me, my mouth gaping open in embarrassment. "oh my god." Repeated over and over in my head.

All I got was a salad and orange juice. I didn't even want the salad at this point; my stomach was feeling a bit queasy. Eric and Mike were fighting over something that seemed a little trivial and stupid. What brand of hiking boots were best or something. I don't know, I tried to remain as absorbed in my salad as I could without eating it. Angela poked my shoulder in a friendly way to get my attention and asked

"How are you adjusting?" her voice had a reassuring tone to it.

"Uhm, everything is really. A bit of culture shock…I bowed when I entered English class today." I said in an embarrassed tone.

"Oh jeez" she said with laughter in her tone. "I'm sure that was a fun experience for you."

"Just a little mortifying, that's all." I joked – taking a swig of my orange juice, I couldn't help but notice _everything_ tasted different in America. Not better or worse, just different.

"Hey, we're all going to Bob's tonight, want to come?" I was beginning to realize I really liked Angela. She was a genuinely kind person and had probably helped this transition into small-town life much easier. The big question was…Who was Bob? I looked around the table to see if there was someone I hadn't noticed.

"Uh….Who's bob?" I asked ignorantly.

Both Jessica and Mike laughed and then quickly replied "Its not a person…It's a restaurant."

Obviously embarrassed I just nodded and said "Sure" quietly.

The rest of them talked about plans for the fall dance that was coming up. They called it a 'Turn a bout' which meant that it was the girl's turns to ask the guys to the dance. So the girls did not normally ask men to the dance then? The thought made my skin crawl. It was only a matter of time before someone asked me. It felt arrogant and narcissistic to think in such a way, but I was simply being realistic. I knew I was the prize for no other reason than I was the new student at Forks High School. Thinking like that bothered me. Avoiding the topic I couldn't help but drift to the Cullens which had become my recent obsession. One in particular, although I didn't dare think of him and risk the desire to look and see what they were doing.

I decided to skip Biology, sure I could face Edward Cullen, of whom I'd been obsessing over since our initial encounter, or I could sit in my car and listen to music. Coward, who? Me? I'd also heard word of a blood-typing which was a something risky; my sidhe blood didn't work out too well in human blood-work. I can only be grateful that I haven't had to go to the hospital or heaven forbid need a blood transfusion for any reason. Yes, that would be a very bad situation. An arguably bigger problem was I didn't know where to go. There was literally nowhere to escape from people in Forks, nowhere that I could go without being noticed from someone. Unknown faces are so rare here I draw just about as much attention, if not more, than someone who was known by everyone in town.

I shrugged and got up from my seat and waved to everyone with a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes "See you." As I placed my tray in its allotted place and walked toward the parking lot.

A small part of me was afraid that a teacher or the principal would reprimand me as I left the building, but my worries were in vain. I was in my car in less than five minutes. The weather was pretty typical for Forks, must have been around 50 degrees with a light drizzle. The sun seemed to be teasing us, peeking out for only seconds at a time. Really though, the rain didn't bother me. I enjoyed overcast, and found that part of Forks to be a relief. Sitting in a car with no destination, let alone _movement_ was frustrating to me. My hands played idly with the CD rack on top of my visor until I picked out a CD from Reflector; a Chinese punkish rock band. Greenday reminded me a lot of them.

I closed my eyes and let the music relax me as if I was back home. In Hong Kong where there were no cultural faux-pas, small town atmospheres, or unnaturally attractive and mysterious men staring at me. The music buzzed quietly, barely loud enough to drown out the sound of the drizzling rain. I was finally reaching a point of peace when a tapping against my window made me jump and stare alarmingly out my window. I'm not sure which was scarier, the sound which had made me jump, or the fact that it was Edward Cullen tapping on my window. Definitely the latter.

My pulse sped up as I sat there nervously uncertain of what to do. Didn't he hate me? Why was he here right now, maybe I was getting in trouble for skipping class. Rolling down the window I looked at him with suspicious eyes until I finally said "Yea?"

My infatuation quickly moved to irritation as I remember the glare he was shooting at me the other day. I should have given him the benefit of the doubt but I wasn't feeling particularly generous. Then he smiled, his golden eyes looking at me with an amused expression. "You should come over here." He motioned innocently toward a silver Volvo that I already knew was his. I couldn't help but be initially suspicious, but decided that it would be better to just go along with it. This was what every girl and child was warned not to do. Sexual predators much?

Well, I wasn't a girl or a child, and I also wasn't human, and could most definitely protect myself from whatever Edward Cullen was willing to throw at me. Maybe then my questions would be answered. He seemed surprised when I turned my car off and walked toward him and his car without any more interrogation. He had already entered his car without another word, I continued behind him without another word. He opened my car door just slightly as an indication for me to get in.

My first thought was _Nice car_. After sitting down and taking in all of the features inside I looked toward Edward with a confused expression. He seemed to take this as his cue to speak, at that point I hadn't realized I'd never heard his voice before.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." He said while maintaining a perfectly neutral face.

"Uh…" I was speechless. All of this to introduce himself? It seemed like a bit much.

"I'm Nate." Was all I said, probably best to keep it simple at this point.

"Sorry for my behavior the other day…I was very tired and uh…In a bit of a mood…" Edward explained. A mood was putting it very lightly.

"Its okay." I noticed his body had gone rigid like the other day. Although he didn't look quite as murderous as last time he seemed to be hiding some sort of pain. He didn't do it very well. "So what's up?

"Just looking forward to getting to know the "new guy" he said in a casual tone as he put the keys in the ignition and turned on the car. Before I knew it we were pulling out of the parking lot. Where the hell were we going? Paranoid, me?

"Where are we going? I have class." I said trying desperately to keep my frantic mood from showing in my voice. I must not have succeeded in this task, since his lips curled into a curt smile.

"Weren't you just skipping class?" He looked me in the eyes when he spoke. While driving. If I wasn't going to have a heart attack from this entire experience it would be a great surprise to me. But, he did have a point. So I just shrugged it off.

"Where are we going, then? And why are you doing this?"

"You'll see. We'll be there soon. And…I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing this. I find you to be a very confusing individual; I'm trying to make sense of you."

I laughed. Probably not the most tactful thing to do. But was he entirely delusional? I didn't even have a chance to finish my thought before he asked "What's funny?" seemingly genuinely curious I decided to answer truthfully.

"Honestly this all seems a bit bizarre. Most people don't take strangers they've never met on joy rides."

"I suppose you're right." Edward chuckled to himself before beginning with the questions "So why did you move here to Forks? It isn't a very…known city, to say the least."

"It's a long story."

"I have time" he said with a grin.

"You know 'It's a long story' is code for 'I don't want to talk about it' right?" I said to him in a joking tone, except that I was being somewhat serious. Maybe I could avoid this entire conversation. His mouth moved in an impatient smirk as he looked at me with pleading eyes. What the hell was going on here? I sighed which was apparently a sign of defeat because he turned back facing the road with a smug grin on his face.

This was always a difficult question to answer. Unlike humans, the Sidhe never lie. Despite my mixed blood I still never dared utter a straight-faced lie; but it was half-truths that made the Sidhe so adept at avoiding the truth. I'd mastered this skill early on out of mere survival, and had every intention of employing it during this conversation.

"My mother felt the need for me to experience the world outside of Hong Kong; but she isn't able to leave herself because of work." There, that was kind of true.

"So why Forks?" Edward asked – giving me only a moment's breath.

I shrugged, "Does it matter?"

Edward grinned, still giving me his undivided attention "It must be tiresome living with a host family."

"I guess. I don't like living with a stranger, but it is what it is."

I didn't like talking about my family. I also had the feeling that Edward would continue to ask my questions until there was some sort of distraction. Through the car conversation I couldn't help but notice the color of his eyes. In fact, his entire family seemed to have this bizarre golden tint in their irises. The thought made my imagination race – especially since weren't they all adopted from different families? Was he one of my kind? Maybe this is why I found myself so mesmerized by him. The thought was more exciting to me than anything I could have imagined, maybe I wouldn't be alone on this journey. It seemed almost unbearable with the option of telling someone.

"Your eyes are a really interesting color. I've never seen them that shade." I remarked, working hard to maintain a casual tone of voice even though I was fishing. He was quiet for a moment before finally answering me.

"Its not my natural color, they're contacts."

"Oh wow. The rest of your family uses the same colored contacts too?" I was pushing it now. If he was one of my kind he would start to feel cornered – and who knew how he would react. If he wasn't, I was pressing the topic too far anyway.

"Yes." Was the only answer he supplied me. I had pushed too far. The silence would probably bother him more than it bothered me so I chose to keep quiet and enjoy the scenery. It would be better if he chose the topics. Also, _where on earth were we going?_ We had been driving for at least twenty minutes at this point. I noticed his hands were clinging to the driving wheel as if he were afraid to let go. There it was again, the burning desire to turn from the window and look into his face. This time I would fight it, nothing good ever came from looking over.

"_You_ have weird eyes. Who has a three-colored iris?" he said in an irritated tone. He had seen my eyes. It couldn't have been long, the light was playing with his eyes. Yes, that's what I would say.

"Three colors? What colors were they?" I laughed casually, trying with all my being for it to not sound forced. Even my own thoughts were confusing me these days – I didn't have time to deal with that at this second though, Edward would need to be convinced first. Yea. That was the crisis at hand.

"Gold, and two different shades of green." His voice didn't sound as certain as it had just a moment ago. This was good, crisis diverted.

"It must have just been the light." I said. "The lights in that school are dismal. I look like the undead whenever I see myself in the mirror" I joked.

Edward seemed to find this joke more amusing than I thought he would. Point for me. I noticed he wouldn't look me in the eye anymore; suddenly focused the road. Had I hit the target? Or maybe he was afraid of seeing my eyes. It would be for the best if he was afraid, the less I had to hide the closer I could get to him."Okay. Where are we going?" The wait was starting to bother me. We were definitely out of Forks at this point. I wasn't familiar enough with the area to have any idea of landmarks or points of interest, it was possible we were heading toward Seattle, but being kept in the dark was beginning to make me uncomfortable.

"It's a surprise." Edward said in a tone different before; his hands were gripping the steering wheel fiercely.

"I'd really like to know where, though." I pressed, feigning curiosity rather than the increasing anxiety that was beginning to build up in my gut.

"Relax" Edward said, flashing me a charming smile. It wasn't the charming smile that grabbed my intention though, rather, the darkness hidden within his eyes chilled me to the core.

"I'm relaxed, just want to know what this is all about" I said in a well-acted voice.

"Don't worry about it – We'll be there soon" He assured me.

As he spoke I reached out to him – not with my body – but with an energy that was a part of me. It was as easy as breathing, allowing part of myself to cover and coat Edward while he spoke; his eyes flicked nervously for a moment once it made contact, but quickly recovered.

I was Sidhe – a Sidhe of a certain flavor – I could feel and provoke the most innate desires of all beings. My ancestors were worshipped as fertility deities in the past, and had been kind of enough to pass along some abilities onto my mother and I.

With much practice I masked my face from all emotion, even as images of Edward with my bloody corpse invaded my mind. It wasn't the murderous intent that fluttered through me, but something innately sexual about the process – These were his desires. This is what Edward wanted, _with me_.

"Edward, stop the car." I said with a seriousness that just bordered human.

My question was met with silence - am I going to die by the hands of Edward Cullen?


	3. Assault

_Sorry for the really short chapter guys! I really wanted this to be more of a stand alone chapter because of the content and just for the flow. I'm curious what people are thinking of the different perspectives between Edward and Nathan - I'm trying really hard that so that they both have their voice in this story. So if it seems like I'm focusing too much on one or the other let me know!_

_I'm *always* open to some sort of constructive criticism, since its easy to get caught up on your own story._

_Just a warning - some people may not care for this chapter because it lacks a certain amount of...fluff. But I think the content is pretty important for the story and the development of the relationship between Edward and Nathan. It also lets you all know what Nate is capable of. So if this isn't your cup of tea please wait it out we'll be getting back to the norm next chapter! :-)_

_Enjoy!_

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**Edward**

The entirety of the ride was spent wanting to tear Nathan's throat out and gorge myself upon his blood. With every second passed my desire multiplied ten-fold; when I had initially decided to pick up the boy my intentions were ambiguous. I was, of course, aware of what the consequences of killing the boy were, but at that very moment I was more than willing to put my family through them. Anything to get what I wanted from Nathan.

"Edward, stop the car." Nathan commanded with no trace of fear in his voice.

However, his heart betrayed him. With each new question I could hear the increase is his pulse; the boy knew he was in danger. The fear excited me – even more was his perseverance of hiding it. However amidst all of this, with no a clear ambition of killing this boy, I could feel my foot pressing against the break and came to a complete stop. It wasn't something I _wanted_ to do but seemed to be an instinctual response.

Nathan, in a moment of temporary boldness put the car into park for me.

"I'm leaving." Nathan hissed, and grabbed the handle to leave the car but not before I grabbed his arm; fully prepared to begin my feeding in mere seconds. Before I was given the opportunity, a warmth from his began to tingle down my arm. The sensation made me gasp and let go of Nathan – it was mere seconds later that my entire body was covered in the prickling touches.

I allowed my instincts to take over – making eye contact with Nathan so I could see his reaction as I lunged at him, as I bled him dry. It was only then that my world slipped into those eyes; a molten pool of gold and green.

It was less than a minute before I came back to reality, sight, scent, and touch all returning too me within moments of each other.

There wasn't a sign of Nathan – I couldn't see or hear him, and there was virtually no scent to track. It was as if he was never there.

It was only after the third angry buzz from my handheld did I extent the effort of answering it. I didn't bother to check and see who was calling; it was going to be Alice.

"Hi." Was all she said – She knew I'd lured Nathan away, and was obvious prepared for the worst.

"I'm on my way home." I sighed.

"Okay. We're already making the preparations."

"No need…I don't think" I trailed off.

"I didn't see what happened, only that you took him away. Everything is alright then?" Alice asked, sounding significantly less worried.

"It's complicated. I'll be home soon." And immediately hung up; avoiding another onslaught of questions from my sister.

I drove home as fast as the Volvo would take me, managing 90 miles per hours for the majority of the ride. Everyone was already waiting for me, seated at the dining room table, and absolutely prepared for another one of our "family meetings" The last time we were forced into a meeting like this was because I had slipped up again. Fortunately this time that wouldn't be the case, however it seems like we were all faced with a far more serious threat.

Who or what was Nathan Aldan?

I wasn't about to be bothered with moving at a human's pace; within seconds I was inside and seated at the table with everyone else, their golden eyes looking me over with a clear anxiety.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked in a neutral voice, but he nor the rest of my family could hide their thoughts from me.

I told them all, in great and absolute detail, from my intention of bleeding the boy dry to the curious condition he had left me in before disappearing without a trace. Everyone, and Jasper especially, were concerned with my explanation of the events that had taken place. No one else had heard of anything remotely similar to the effect Nathan had placed over me, except for Jasper.

The second I mentioned the triple-coloured irises Jasper's thoughts shot at me with a violent flashback. I only saw fragments of the memory that he was carefully hiding from me with a blanket of hatred; the damage had been done though. My single glimpse was of a blonde woman so beautiful I couldn't help but gaze even at the memory – and then there they were, eyes baring an incredibly similarity to the ones I'd seen from Nathan.

"What is it Jasper?" I asked the necessary question.

"I've faced one of his kind before. Nearly 50 years ago the woman had slaughtered most of the Vampire covens in Texas within a month single handed. She was able to do things I hadn't thought possible…" Jasper trailed off.

Alice picked up where Jasper had left off, being the only other one knowing the story she felt a certain responsibility, even obligation to her family, to divulge the information.

"They never figured out exactly what she was, but she forced the vampires on one another, and not in the way immortal powers work either. It was aggressive, and incredibly effective. She would pick off the stragglers while everyone was fighting, but whoever came close enough to her was burnt to ashes with a single touch." Alice explained.

The sense of security we all felt plummeted after hearing her brief explanation, the ways to react to our situation echoed amongst everyone. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Carlisle…my entire family all had different ways to respond to this affront, but they all came down to two choices.

Kill or Run.

Carlisle was about to speak but Jasper cut in with a voice so deadly, filled with pure undiluted hatred, "It needs to die."

**Nathan**

I was sandwiched between my covers to the point where I probably couldn't have moved even if the desire arose. I was exhausted after brewing about the events that occurred earlier today with Edward, so much so, I attempted to go to bed early to avoid thinking about it any longer.

Clearly, that plan wasn't working out very well.

I laid there in a dreamlike state – moments away from falling into the dream world. A world where there was no danger, no stress, and everything would be simple again. Alas, just as sleep began to take hold and I was more than prepared to enter a dream about bunnies and rainbows – there stood my mother.

Beautiful even to me, her golden blonde hair trailed down to her ankles in an effort elegance. We were embraced by the warmth of the rising sun, in which her sunsplashed skin reflected the light in a golden luminescence, as if there had been golden glitter sprayed upon her skin. However, the two were not even comparable.

She stood and looked down at me with Sidhe eyes that mirrored my own and brought me in to a warm hug. The warmth from my mother and the sun became one – we were beings of nature, at this very moment my mother, Eliziah, was the sun and I the moon. Our skin began to glow softly amidst the embrace.

"Someone is coming. Wake up. Wake up and fight." She whispered next to my ear in a way that was both sexual and motherly at the same time.

"Wake up."

I awoke with a fierce gasp, instinctively wiping the sweat from my brow. I sat there uncertain for a few moments while I replayed the events that just occurred in my dream. Had I been human, it would have been easily dismissed, but I was Sidhe as well, and these things were more or less commonplace.

There were some questions to consider though. The first question would have been _"Who_ _is coming?"_ but I was rather confident that was already answered. Edward Cullen was on his way to finish what he'd attempted the first time. Because I was confident in this face, there was very little concern on my part. I moved in a rehearsed and well practiced manner, making very little noise, making efficient use of my time, and most importantly, remaining calm.

It came down to one simple fact. He was human, and I was not.

I pulled out a violin case that had been stashed in my close, unlatched it, and took out your standard sawed-off shotgun. Of course I knew how to shoot, not that I really needed to aim as long as I was within ten feet with this firearm. There shouldn't be a need, but luck favors the prepared.

Certain precautions had been made when I had moved to forks, precautions such as the shotgun I was holding. But more importantly, a piece of Sidhe magic called _wards_. They'd been placed all over the premises of my host mother's house, who was conveniently away on a date with her current boyfriend. If someone entered the area of a ward wishing me harm would simply go elsewhere. A change of heart, fear, the reason varied from person to person. That's exactly why Sidhe magic can be so powerful, it's incredibly subtle in that one has no idea they are under the effect until it's usually too late.

I doubted Edward would get past my wards – but you never know.

This was not the time to worry myself with my illusions. Whoever was coming after me either already knew I Sidhe, or wouldn't likely survive the encounter regardless.

It sounds like I'm a murderous bastard, but I'm truly not much of a fighter. However, when you are like me, harboring such a powerful secret, there is a desperation to preserve this façade we put on. And right now, this pursuer would disrupt the human life that I so passionately wanted to live. I would kill for that life.

I had the shotgun loaded with extra ammo prepared in seconds. With a large "click" I shut the chamber anxiously before taking my post back on my bed. This was where it got tricky…

Looking at the shotgun, I visualized what it would feel like to hold a viola in my hand rather than this sawed off shotgun. I thought what it would look like, carrying this viola with care while sitting in my bed with the television on. The trick was to leave a small part of yourself with this thought so it became anchored in reality, so it visually became that to everyone, including myself. I couldn't explain it any more than that, was what I was doing magic? No idea, it was simply a part of me.

Both my mother and I believed our kind was given this ability so we could live amongst humans – now I was using it for violence…thinking that way made me feel more ashamed than I probably should have. However, I knew whoever came in right now would see an innocent high school student rather than a cold-blooded killer. I needed that sort of element of surprise.

I waited and waited. It took surprisingly long for it to occur to me to even look at the time. 2:45 am. I groaned, if I survived this encounter, I would be miserable at school tomorrow. But what if I didn't…?

The time passed glacially slow. I couldn't allow myself to be distracted by the television. A simple distraction would give my pursuer the opportunity they needed. Although I wasn't fully human, I was nearly as fragile one. Even with my mixed blood I was no match for a trained killer; human or otherwise.

There was no warning to my pursuers presence. This wasn't like the movies where a glass dropped, something tips over, or the dog starts barking. No warning at all, before my very eyes he was simply there. There was no time to react or to consider who stood in the doorway before me. I didn't need to aim at this range, I pulled the trigger letting the piles of buckshot soar in my target's direction without giving it a second's thought. The trigger let out a howling boom that could was probably heard up to a mile away; I had bigger problems right now.

Panic began to itch deep in my throat making me hold back the desire to scream for help. I stood from my seated position resuming a defensive stance. Both of my arms held the shotgun despite the raging urge to go and see if my shot had connected.

I cocked the shotgun to prepare for my next shot. Somehow the man disappeared, he should have taken a point blank shot, no one could move so fast after that attack. I glanced at the doorway where I had shot him in, there were stray bullets and wooden bits everywhere – but something very important was missing. There was no blood…

I heard a sound but had less than a second to react. A blow hit my chest knocking the wind from my body. The pain was indescribable; I was blinded and dazed by the sheer magnitude of it. I think I was sent flying _somewhere_ but couldn't make sense of it. All I heard was the crash from my body landing into a hard object. My finger had pulled the shotgun trigger out of pure instinct causing my ears to ring from the distress.

It took me a moment before I could see my attacker. It was only then that my entire body went into complete shock. The man, or maybe I should say the boy…was familiar. Very familiar, but it wasn't who I expected; it was Jasper Cullen. What was going on? Had Edward figured out what I was and sent his brother? No, that couldn't have been a possibility. Something was not right with this situation…He was too fast, too strong. Jasper Cullen was no more human than I was.

I could feel the heat rise in my body as my skin began to glow like the moon. My eyes looked into his yellow tinted eyes pleadingly. Here I was, half conscious in my purest most natural form in front of my killer. Jasper took a step back as my body began to glow and let out a low monstrous growl that left me whimpering. I didn't dare move at this point, he was too fast for me and I knew it.

"Your kind cannot be left to live" he said in a cold, emotionless tone.

"_Scream_." I whispered with as much emotion as I could muster.

I opened that door that I kept locked day in and day out. That door made sure that everything bizarre would not gravitate toward me, it kept the magic out and made sure I remained appearing human day in and day out. Whatever this energy was, it seemed to be a magnet for strange occurrences; the exact kind of situations I so desperately wanted to avoid.

Jasper noticed a change in me and chose not to give me any time to react; he was in front of me. There was no movement; he was simply there. He grabbed my arm and yanked it into a position where it didn't belong. I heard a loud pop followed by a rush of pain in my shoulder that felt something between fire and aching. The anguish continued and multiplied until there was nothing else but the pain. I had a single moment to use this pain, to take advantage of the fact that Jasper looked straight into my very inhuman eyes ; a calculating expression that seemed to be hiding something more.

_Pain_.

I thought of not only the physical pain that was consuming me, but the emotional and psychological darkness that plagued me day after day. Everything that created me into this reclusive and paranoid person was concentrated into a deep single thought of misery. I willed these horrors onto Jasper, my skin reached a point beyond luminescent, it was pure shine radiating through my being as I felt the energy collide between the two of us. My horrors transferred onto him; I forced Jasper to see, experience, and relive every physical and emotional horror of his life.

Jasper screamed in a pitch that I couldn't fully comprehend. He fell to his knees in confusion and clasped both of his hands tightly against his skull as if that would do anything. His body contortioned and thrashed against the floor, his fists creating gaping holes in the hardwood floor as he flung them downward. My own pain was beginning to subside into a dull roar, the adrenaline was gathering in my veins; I was going into shock. Jasper looked at me with crazed eyes, the magic still running loosely through him, and began to stalk toward me like a predator; and I was the prey.

The fear had left me and was replaced by acceptance. I sat there with broken wood surrounding my near-lifeless body ready for my death until I saw Edward…

Much to my benefit – my assumption was wrong. Everything was a blur as I watched what I thought to be Edward collide into Jasper. I heard growls and an array of sounds coming from their direction but everything was a daze. I wasn't able to hold it in anymore, I was tired of fighting, and at that moment I didn't mind dying right there and then.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to slip into the darkness.


	4. Confession

_Hi everyone! So this is back to the grind - No more crazy action scenes :) I'm getting more excited about this fic as I delve deeper into it - I have probably the next 5 chapters already finished. I really hope other people are enjoying this. I'm a little afraid that its boring._

_Anyway, Enjoy! :)_

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**Edward**

This past day was filled to the brim with events that took up my attention ; and yet I couldn't fight feeling that today was going by terribly slowly. My entire family was now at risk for what I have done. Esme continuously reminds me that this is not my fault, that I have done nothing wrong. However I know she's just comforting me because I'm her son; I am entirely at fault for being interested in a mortal. I couldn't call him human anymore, not after what he's done to Jasper. Jasper was utterly certain when I explained the characteristics I had experienced, but it seems as though after his encounter with Nathan… he was uncertain. Although Jasper hasn't said much of anything since that day – mostly staying locked in his room unless he went to go hunt.

What Jasper has done…Will take me a very long time to even consider forgiving him. It goes much deeper than attacking Nathan. Whatever emotions I have set aside; Jasper went to kill an innocent being in cold blood. As if this wasn't bad enough, the fight between Nathan and him had brought news-worthy attention to the town. The sound of the shotgun that Nathan fired not only once, but _twice_, as well as the fighting that ensued between my brother and I was loud enough to worry any neighbors – even the ones that lived as far as nearly a mile away. None of us were suspected, thankfully no one saw me go off with Nathan that very day; so there was no way that me nor my brother would be implicated in this crime.

It was clear that bringing Nathan to the hospital would not be an option. Similar to us; Nathan seems to have…irregularities would definitely be revealed in a hospital setting. We'd had no choice but to have Carlisle take care of him in the infirmary within our house. Unfortunately, the rest of the town was under the impression that Nathan was abducted. Resolving that dilemma was itching at my mind most of the day, there seemed to be no simple resolution. If I was smart I would insist that both me and my family leave Forks at once…I didn't have enough discipline to stay away – thinking of it felt absolutely unbearable.

He'd only been asleep for about a day now after sustaining several serious injuries at the hands of Jasper. It was unbelievable to the entire household that Nathan had managed to survive the, and even more surprising, that Nathan had inflicted serious damage, albeit not physical damage, but it seemed much worse. It was difficult for me to avoid the dark images that had been plaguing Jasper's mind since he confronted Nathan.

Although Nathan was now in stable condition with a plethora of injuries he still faired better than Jasper. Since the incident Jasper has sequestered himself up in his room rarely allowing even Alice to visit him. There are occasional screams that none of us truly understand. This…creature that we were harboring had done seemingly irreparable damage to my brother, and yet I could not wait for the moment for him to wake up. Not to question or punish him, but to see if he was alright. However was that was done…there were so many questions that all of us had. I was sure that Nathan would have just as many questions if not more to offer – for that very reason the group of us sat at the dining room table which was now used for make-shift family meetings such as this one. Do we disappear? Or risk the secret that we literally spent our entire existence attempting to hide?

_We should just kill him and continue on with our lives – the police think he is missing anyway_ thought Rosalie. I growled at this option as it had already been discussed in detail the night before. Killing Nathan would _not_ happen, I would see to that myself. "We can **not** let a human know about us. If we cannot kill him we need to disappear before he wakes up. No one would believe him anyway." Rosalie pressed in a sour tone. All of us knew that she did not want to relocate, we had not been here nearly long enough

"He clearly isn't human" remarked Carlisle from the head of the table. He remained motionless while in thoughts before continuing "We don't know what he is, but its apparent that Nathan is hiding just as we are. Perhaps we should look into other options…I know all of us would prefer staying in Forks for a little while longer"

Carlisle's remark was sensible, and yet the idea of having to keep my distance seemed unbearable. Now more than ever I sought to learn more about this mysterious being.

"He's going to ask what we are. What do we do then?" This time Alice asked. She described her visions of Nathan's future as 'blurry.' It bothered her to no end, but I knew that she neither wanted to leave nor abandon this boy. She was equally intrigued by him.

I'd been thinking this over since we brought Nathan back to the house. I wanted desperately to know what he was. Perhaps if we learned more about him, there would be a possibility of coexisting. I hoped in vain but figured I would make my thoughts clear to the rest of the family "I think we should tell him the truth. We know that he is not human and so we already know that he would not be surprised by the fact that something else…_supernatural_ exists. Once he realizes we mean him no harm he will trust us – we can potentially benefit mutually from this exchange." My reasoning sounded silly even to me. I was sure that they all knew my true incentive for keeping him around; but maybe I wasn't giving myself enough credit.

"Or we can both crash and burn" Emmett added, receiving a reprimanding look from Esme. I already knew what Esme had been considering, although she was concerned for her family the thought of me finding any sort of companion excited her. Because of this it was no surprise when she agreed with me.

"I agree with Edward. We can't make assumptions until we understand what he is." Esme said trying to seem neutral, although we both knew that her thoughts betrayed her. _If it makes Edward happy any risk is worth it_. She added, forgetting that I would probably be listening. Coincidentally a moment later she seemed to be focusing intently on if Jasper was alright.

I knew how everyone's vote would go except for Carlisle. I sincerely hoped he sided with Alice, Esme, and I. If he didn't…then it would be a tie because we couldn't possibly give Jasper the chance to vote after everything that had happened. At this point I doubt Jasper would even want to vote.

"Lets vote then." Carlisle initiated. "Those who want to relocate raise your hand."

Both Emmett and Rosalie raised their hands without the slightest reluctance. I knew Emmett was only raising his hand to side with Rosalie. He seemed relatively indifferent about the whole situation. A huge urge of relief rushed through me when I looked at Carlisle who was obviously not raising his hand – and seemed to have no intention of it. He looked into my eyes for a moment and thought "_I'd risk the world for your happiness."_

"Its settled then. We will stay here for now and consult with Nathan to find out what he truly is. Depending how that goes we can talk further about what our plans will be." Said Carlisle before getting up without another word. He didn't need to explain himself, I was already out of my seat and down stairs at the door to our make shift infirmary. I could hear Nathan at the early stages of hyperventilating once he woke up and realized his hands and feet were strapped to the table. This was a precaution that I had opposed violently, but in the end I could not argue with the damage that he had inflicted to Jasper physically – his right arm had been mangled by the shotgun.

So this is how the _true_ Nathan appeared. Each time I had gone downstairs to check on him, it felt as though my heart sank with each sight. Calling him handsome would be an understatement. I wondered how his beauty appeared to humans; because without any illusions he was absolutely breathtaking to my vampire eyes. He didn't notice me while fought recklessly with the straps that kept him stationary. His body was littered with bruises, a torn ligament, and several broken bones. Although he seemed to have a plethora of injuries, I still considered him lucky to have even _survived_ a vampire attack.

I opened the door to the stark white room a bit louder than I normally would have, to be sure that my presence was known. Nathan glared at me, his unnatural eyes showing an emotion that I couldn't quite place. He stopped fighting the bonds; I watched him sit there, conflicted, bedside without saying a word. Looking at him like this…pained me. If I hadn't introduced myself to him that day he would have never had to deal any of this. I don't know why I'd grown so protective over him, but knowing that this was my fault ate away at me while I looked at the series of wounds spread throughout his body. He wasn't trying to hide himself from me anymore, what did that mean?

The silence was broken with Nathan's quiet voice; my concentration along with it.

"How could you do this…?" Nathan allowed his voice to carry all of the emotions he was feeling when he asked. There was betrayal, pain, and fear thick in his voice. I was scared to look into his eyes and in fear that seeing the purity of this emotion would be too much for me. I fought for distractions, realizing how very similar this room and my family were. The stark white plainness of it all, this was supposed to be a room for healing but in reality it seemed to be more of a prison. That must be how he was feeling at this moment…his bonds probably weren't helping that assumption.

"I'm so sorry…this is all my fault." I admitted – finally meeting his fiery eyes. When our eyes connected I stopped thinking, consumed by his presence. There was something much greater than me or him at this very moment, this was an other-worldly connection, something that I would not be able to fight even if I wanted to. I was done fighting, I just wanted to accept my fate. I wanted Nathan in my life. I took his hand with both of mine causing us both to jump for similar reasons. His hand felt like electricity crawling across my skin while the coldness of my hands must have startled him. Nathan's face went soft when this happened as he took my hand with his as best he could. He hadn't recoiled at the touch of my icey skin. Then he said something that made me want to run away.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

How could he be so stupid? This person who I was willing to protect with every fiber of my being? I wanted to yell and tell him how mistaken he was. Although, perhaps he wasn't wrong in making this assumption. He was tied up in a mysteriously sterile basement after my brother had just attempted to kill him. Nathan's eyes turned to fear. Since my obsession with this boy slowly manifested itself, I'd wished that he would be afraid of me. That fear would keep him away – the caliber emotions that developed startled me. I must have lost control of my face in my anger, I quickly smoothed out my features to comfort him.

"No…I'm going to make sure no one ever hurts you again." My heart ached with passion as I said it, a sensation that I thought would be impossible to ever experience. Everything burned with pleasure and a joy that could not be described in words, this was more potent than any human drug. I wanted to live the rest of my unnatural life with this feeling. I took my mouth to his hand and brought a small kiss to the hand with a smile on my face, being incredibly careful not to breathe in so close to the vein. I took my hands from his to begin to untie the straps, but he grabbed my hand and looked at me with desperate eyes, "No! Don't leave" Nathan whispered weakly.

I smiled reassuringly "Don't worry…I'm not leaving any time soon. Lets get these straps off." He nodded frantically. The shock still hadn't left his system. One by one I undid the leather straps from his wrists and feet, while doing so I was careful to keep my hands from touching his bare flesh. The boy had just recovered from a vampire attack, now was not the time to test my self control. After each limb was untied he rubbed it instinctively but remained careful not to move too much. It was obvious he still felt incredibly uncomfortable in this climate. His eyes followed me curious as I took my seat next to him again. Once assured that I wouldn't leave, Nathan propped himself up higher against the bed with a yelp, falling back into his previous position. His body went rigid with pain as his pulse quickened to pump more endorphins into his bloodstream.

Without any sound Carlisle was standing in the room – it would be sure to startle Nathan while he sat there; his eyes clenched tight in agony.

_How is he?_

"In shock; he's going to be hurting in a couple of minutes." I said in such a hushed whisper a human wouldn't be able to understand. Would Nathan be able to? I'd have to ask him… at a different time.

_I didn't mean physically_.

Well that was a much more complicated question, and to make it worse, I didn't know.

After the aching from his overly bold movement had passed, Nathan opened his eyes only to meet Carlisle's figure. Most of the citizens of Forks would have felt perfectly safe at the sight of my make-shift father, afterall, he was the best doctor the town had to offer. However, unlike most citizens of Forks, Nathan had yet to meet Carlisle. So it was not much of a surprise when he began to panic, his pulse speeding up in huge increments. It didn't take long for Carlisle to slowly approach Nathan before saying

"I'm Edward's father, Carlisle... I'm sorry for all of this" Carlisle gestured toward the monitors and IV currently placed in Nathan's arm. "We just wanted to be sure that you made a quick recovery."

Nathan seemed to ignore Carlisle kindness in his confusion "Where am I? Is this a hospital?"

I knew the calm that I had incited in him would be temporary. I desperately wanted to make him feel better but felt a rush of shame at the thought of doing so in front of Calisle.

"No, we didn't think the hospital would be the best choice…After all, you were _glowing_." When Carlisle mentioned the fact he had been glowing Nathan's already pale complexion seemed to grow even whiter than my own. What was he thinking right now?

"That said, we understand the need for some level of…secrecy. This is an infirmary in our house that we use when one of us requires medical care which admittedly, is very slim." Carlisle made a joke. I was too distraught to smile and Nathan was clearly lost.

"So no one knows?"

"No one outside of this house. I'm going to check on your injuries, it might be a little uncomfortable."

A surge of relief showed through his face but quickly found itself replaced by a hesitation. He nodded at Carlisle while looking intently at everything he did. His eyes seemed bewildered as if he was seeing all of these wounds for the very first time.

"Whose clothes are these?" He asked, wincing between the sentence as Carlisle touched a particularly tender spot. I guess Nathan wasn't looking at his wounds at all – but was instead confused at the clothes he was wearing. Esme insisted I give him some of my clothes to wear. It didn't really bother me, Alice rarely let us wear the same outfit twice anyway. Nathan and I were similar physically except that I was slightly taller, but the difference was slight enough that no one would notice but Alice

I couldn't help but smile. Would the surprises never end? "They're mine." I paused while I watched his face begin to change its shade and suddenly I knew exactly what he was thinking without hearing his thoughts and added quickly "Esme…helped you get dressed. You were mostly unconscious." Small lie, he was entirely unconscious, but I hoped this small fib would make his embarrassment settle. He rubbed his face absently mindedly relinquishing a small laugh at nothing in particular "There are so many questions, I don't even know where to start.

I grinned taking his hand a second time as the heat shot through my skin "That makes two of us."

**Nathan**

Two more check-ups, a delicious strawberry parfait, and dozens of unanswered questions later I was ready to get up from my bed. My impatience was getting the better of me. even though it was incredibly painful to make even the slightest move, I was determined to get off this bed.

Carlisle went through the list of all the injuries I had sustained from my little tiff with Jasper. Honestly, I'd lost count. Edward left the room for the past couple of hours, why I don't know. He simply left with an encouraging smile – and not a minute later Carlisle had prepped a needle to draw blood for some tests. Everything that had happened in the past 24 hours seemed completely unreal. One fact that was obvious was that Edward and his family were _not_ human. I didn't like the fact that they seemed to know more about me than I knew about them. It was comforting knowing that it was only a matter of time before I had answers to my epic list of questions.

During the tests Edward's mother seemed insistent to dote on my every desire. Her hovering made me uncomfortable. It made me feel like the guest over-staying their welcome. I knew it was stupid to feel this way, after all, Jasper had nearly killed me. Regardless the feeling remained the unchanged as she brought me a book and the _amazing_ strawberry parfait on a cute little basket. Esme sat looking at me with a concerned expression that I didn't fully understand. Why was she looking at me like this? When I looked at her she smiled and said "Ready to take a shower? It must be miserable sitting in a bed that long…"

"Its only been a couple of hours – you're right though, its killing me. I'm so impatient" I joked lightly at my own expense. She didn't laugh or really smile at my joke which made me feel embarrassed, causing me to look down and avoid her gaze.

"Honey…You've been here for about a day and a half now. You were asleep for awhile." She said apprehensively.

Wow. That changed things…What would my aunt be thinking? "Wow…" was all that I mustered. Once again dismissing the thought from my mind - I tried to focus on something else that wouldn't upset me. Yea. Shower, I liked the idea of that. "Yea…a shower sounds great. Sorry for being so much trouble…" My tone sounded melancholic even to me. I'd have to work on sounding more appreciative for everything that the Cullens were doing for me.

"Don't you be sorry for anything!" She reprimanded in a motherly tone.

During this small dialogue Carlisle removed the IV from my arm without me even noticing. I'd gone back to resuming the illusion that made me more seem more human. It just seemed so wrong to _not_ have it in the presence of people. At this point it was clear that they weren't human, but it was one of those things that were so engrained into your mind. No one mentioned the sudden difference in my features, which I wasn't sure was a good thing.

"Of course. Come on…I'll help you up" Esme chimed as she rushed to me.

"I've got …" was all I said before I went to kick my legs to the edge of the bed. I bit my lip to hold back the scream that was itching in my throat. Esme helped me out of the bed; me grunting the entire way. My body fought me each step of the way. The pain was particularly potent in my chest and arm. My memory flashed back to that night and how Jasper had attacked me…yea it made sense that those places hurt. Although the pain was intense it was nice to finally see my surroundings from a different perspective. Being bed-ridden really limits that.

We had just gotten out of the infirmary – I was greeted with the image of Edward in front of me. Concern covered his face as he looked at my terribly slow movements and erratic breathing. Concentrating on my image was too much combined with the pain so instead of letting it falter and slowly fade I simply rid myself of the chore. Both Esme and Edward changed their body language unknowingly – they noticed.

Edward eyes looked at me as if they shared my pain. "Here, I'll carry you." He gestured up stairs "There are a lot of stairs." He began to walk toward me as if I would just say yes to this very embarrassing request.

"No, I've got it." I said through gritted teeth. The pain was better than the alternative of Edward carrying me, I would have said that he wouldn't be able to carry me, afterall we were about the same size. However after seeing the damage Jasper could deliver with little difficulty if Edward had even half the strength of his brother, it wouldn't be a problem. The thought of Edward carrying me up the stairs crossed my mind. There was no way that was happening.

"I'll carry you." Edward said, this time it was more of a command than a request. Did everyone just say yes to this guy? His seemingly unbreakable confidence bothered me. Maybe it was passive aggressive, but I used this as just another excuse to avoid his request

"No." I said flatly. Humans don't argue when they see my eyes, however rare the occasion may be. They are either fascinated or terrified, usually fascinated. Sometimes I wished I could be scary instead of pretty. I shrugged but managed to take a couple of steps with Esme's assistance. Both Esme and Edward exchanged some sort of dialogue that I didn't fully understand. Maybe it was just paranoia but it seemed much more than that since Esme walked ahead smiled at me saying "If you need anything just call for me" she said before turning the corner.

"Are you ready?" he asked while looking at me.

"Are you going to be a jerk?" I said irritably.

He sighed calmly "Sorry. Just seeing you hurting makes me upset."

I nodded suddenly feeling like I was being the jerk "Sorry, just a lot has happened. I'm tired and hurting, and _really_ want to shower."

"It would be so much easier if you let me carry you." Edward sighed.

"Not happening."

"You're incredibly stubborn." He mused.

"Looks like we have that in common"

Edward took his arm around my waste and guided me very slowly up the stairs. The initial sensation of our skin touching made me jump. His skin was _so_ cold, but that wasn't why I jumped. Funny that the night before all of this had happened I was imagining a moment just like this happening. Maybe sometimes dreams did come true, I thought while we both walked up the stairs in silence. I was too focused on the feeling of his arm around my waste to even think of holding a conversation.

However painful walking through the house was, the combination of Edward's touch and just taking in the marvels that existed in this…mansion were enough to distract me. The architecture was something modern and very clean. Whoever chose to design the house had an impeccable taste, most of the rooms being mixtures of whites, blacks, and crèmes accented by the occasional bright color.

There was so much art in here it could have been a small museum. The works were not cheap imitations either, there were several that would be easily recognizable if you had even the most basic knowledge of art. We walked past a Dadaist collage that I'd seen in a gallery in Hong Kong. I wanted to stop in my tracks to double check its validity, but with the size of this house, money was not something that would ever hold the Cullens back.

We walked through another stark white hallway before reaching the bathroom. Edward let me go reluctantly, his hand lingered near me for a moment before withdrawing it back to his side. The bathroom left me speechless. The room was a mixture of coral and off-white. The combination seems kind of tacky in my head, but in practice the bathroom seemed something more out of a hotel or design catalogue. The marble floor was accented by a fuzzy rug that I knew would be fun to walk on. The counter had atleast a dozen products from facial rubs to pore cleansers, pretty much anything I could ever imagine using. Luckily for me, being roughly 1/4th sidhe had left me with a perfect complexion. I'd never have to deal with the awkward acne phase of adolescence.

On the edge of the counter I saw a pair of neatly folded clothes. _My_ clothes. My favorite pair of grey skinny jeans, a plain v neck tshirt, and an orange cashmere sweater. The combination was nice and somewhat fashion forward. How on earth did they get a pair of clothes from my room? The thought of someone going through my things creeped me out a little bit. The Cullens were not your standard family. "…How did you…?" I couldn't finish my sentence, Edward put an index finger to my lips and looked me closely in the eye. This incited something much worse than a slight blush…

I began to glow.

It was still a luminescent light emitting through my skin – but any human would be able to notice the change. In that moment, my entire world was in those ocher eyes of his. I had no power over myself, I just nodded slowly still in this state of shock. "Come to the living room when you're done and we'll all talk about _everything_."

That was a comfort. I just nodded, still unable to speak.

" Say my name if you need any anything." Edward said, still looking into my eyes until he took a quick turn to leave, closing the door behind him. As he turned I could have sword he had a smug expression placed on his lips.

I took a seat on the toilet and just stared at everything in the bathroom in awe. The Cullens seemed like the perfect family, except that everything was so perfect it was completely unnatural. And not in a 'Brady Bunch' way, something more cold and artificial. My eyes kept on drifting to _my_ clothes that were folded neatly on the counter. The cold marble on my bare feet was uncomfortable so I chose to stay seated for a couple of minutes enjoying the comfort of the fuzzy rug. My thoughts raced through the events that had happened in the past day or two now that I was finally alone.

I got up from the toilet and felt a shot of pain that caused me to close my eyes in hopes of blocking out the sensation. After adjusting myself I went to the shower and removed the fogged glass that kept the contents hidden. A small gasp escaped my lips when the shower came into vision. Not only was it massive, but the shower was more like a spa. There was not only one shower head, but several that shot out from every direction. Shaking my head at the glamour of it all, I disrobed and kicked my clothes sloppily to the corner of the room before walking into the shower _chamber_ and closed the fogged glass.

There was a small key pad once I'd entered that I assumed controlled the plethora of options that were no doubt available to the shower. It took me several tries before ice water began to pelt me from all directions. Panicking I pressed the up button over and over praying for the temperature to increase. My body began become less rigid as I watched the digital thermometer reach 92 degrees. After letting out a large sigh I began to rub the water all over my body in a desperate attempt to warm up.

The water dancing along my back seemed to warm and almost heal my injuries. It was as like an artificial therapeutic massage. My mind began to wander onto my future and what it held. Throughout my entire life my future always seemed so apparent, whether it was graduating to the next class to being in the…captivity that I had been placed in.

The process shifted to that man, the one whom I as the most excited to avoid. One of the real purposes of my moving to Forks. Regardless of how far Man Yi's reach went, this corrupted Hong Kong entrepreneur was Forks, Washington would _not_ be a place he considered.

After a prolonged shower I fiddled with the keypad until the water finally turned off. I quickly walked out of the shower and took what felt like a trip to get my towel from across the room. I was _naked_ in Edward Cullen's house. The thought excited me and seemed completely bizarre at the same time, just thinking about it made me blush

. Before I began to put my clothes something grabbed my attention. The large mirror infront of me forced me to look at what stood near it. You see your image multiple times a day every day of your life. And yet today it seemed so different. Everything was intensified as opposed to the illusion that I put on every day. The shine of my skin seemed to grow, the color of my eyes as bright and powerful, and the shades of my hair changed with every different ray of light. I would never pass for human like this.

Why were my features more pronounced at this precise moment, when I was about to walk into a room filled of strangers without any illusions or secrets. My breathing began to grow more pronounced from nerves. "Relax, Nate. Relax." I reassured myself out loud while I began to put my clothes on one by one. They felt like home – and I was instantly more comfortable when I saw my clothes on as opposed to the exaggerated image in the mirror that disturbed even myself.

I braced myself before opening the door.

I guess now would be the time to face the truth. Lets hope I could handle it.

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Please review! I'll love you forever 3 And it'll really help me!


	5. Showoff

_Hi everyone! So I'm really excited about this chapter - its probably my favorite so far (Except for the next one, kissing scene! =3) I hope the pacing is alright for everyone, I kind of have this fear its becoming boring but the more I write I'm really falling in love with the idea of Nathan and Edward._

_It actually took some convincing for me - because I think BellaxEdward is such a fantastic match. But I suppose the entire idea of this fic is to play on the idea that this connection between Edward and someone...could happen with someone quite different from Bella - and perhaps even the strange attraction to their blood has a role to play._

_I really hope everyone is enjoying it thus far =-)_

* * *

**Edward**

My family and I gathered in the living room patiently, awaiting what was guaranteed to be an incredibly strange discussion. Rosalie and Alice were looking through a magazine that I couldn't see from my angle. They laughed quietly to themselves, occasionally pointing out an image or paragraph. "What if they had that in red?" asked Alice. Ah, it was a fashion magazine.

Alice thrived on reinventing our wardrobes on a near-daily basis, thankfully Rosalie had a passion for anything even slightly based on her beauty, so this was a standard topic amongst them. "Mauve would make the cut look more dramatic don't you think?" commented Rosalie. Alice nodded in agreement; jotting down notes on the magazine.

Esme hummed a melody that I had written for her quietly to herself. From the sounds emitting from the kitchen it was apparent Esme was making Nathan something to eat, Esme had joked that she was excited to use the kitchen for the first time. She'd been doting on him since he entered the house in his injured state. _Edward deserves this. Finally he has someone_ her thoughts sung while she prepared something I couldn't quite place.

Esme had been convinced that I would be alone forever, that something was different with me. Truthfully, until very recently I was completely content with no other company than my family. Not until recently had it seemed unbearable. Only now that I had a taste of what love felt like. Of course I'd read about it in novels, seen it depicted via Hollywood, none of this properly explained it. Love was like an unstoppable force that hit me like a truck. Even if I'd only known him for several days – none of that seemed to affect the radiating emotion that sang through me.

My eyes drifted to Emmett who sat looking incredibly bored while sifting through the 200 something sports channels we had on our television. His gaze shifted from a Penn state Northwestern game to me for just a moment before he said quite clearly in his thoughts _You're insane, Edward._ Emmett wasn't one for complications. He liked to live life simply – what we were about to do would be the exact opposite of simplicity; everything would become complicated after today.

Before any of us heard the door open one of our other senses came to life. Even from this distance the smell of Nathan's blood had been sweet on my tongue. However his scent took a change for the worse, much worse. It was just like that first day again – everything about his scent was intensified seven-fold.

The monster in me fought as if I were a newborn. Everyone in the room turned to look toward the hallway; where this mystifying aroma had stayed dormant until now. The scent of blood would not do it justice. With him it was always a smell sweeter than human blood; an aroma that caused the venom in my mouth to leak profusely. This intoxicating scent carried that sweetness combined with the fresh aroma of flowers. Unnatural. However incredibly appetizing; Emmett made a parallel in his thoughts 'like a fine wine' which made me instinctively growl in protest.

Looking around it seemed even Emmett's control was flustered, it had made Carlisle look up from his book to ensure everyone remained in control. I needed to protect Nathan right now in case any of them slipped, but how was that possible when I was Nathan's biggest threat?

Nathan walked from the hallway into the living room with that familiar glow that I had seen several times now; it still left me motionless. Everything about him seemed intensified to the point I wasn't even positive it was Nathan anymore; if you could describe an Angel, the image of him would come to my mind at that very moment.

Although he walked in entirely nonchalantly, even a little awkwardly, just his existence made the entrance seem grandiose. Everyone in the room gawked at him. Rosalie's jaw dropped in shock. Her intentions were clear to me until she realized exactly what was running through her head; and quickly became very focused on the task at hand.

Nathan stood there awkwardly – although his appearance was more like a shining knight; but you could tell he didn't view himself that way. I wanted to bring myself to say something, anything, so he would not have to endure this. I was incapable of speech, my eyes focused on him in wonder and amazement.

Carlisle cleared his throat before speaking, trying to break the dazzling affect he seemed to have on all of us "Nathan, are you okay to sit?" Nathan nodded and took a seat on the couch next to the chair I had been sitting on while giving me a look I didn't understand. Did he want me to sit next to him? Had I made yet another mistake? Emmett was the one who spoke first, looking carefully at the boy whose glow was slowly retreating into his skin as he became more relaxed, "Dude, _what_ are you?"

Leave it to Emmett for the tactful delivery. Nathan shifted uncomfortably while we all focused on him, as though they weren't before, but maybe he didn't notice it until now. No, as observant as he was, he definitely noticed. He looked at me as if he didn't know the answer, or searching for permission maybe?

"What made Jasper think I was dangerous?" Nathan asked in a trained tone – he was sidestepping the question with his own. Nathan's voice rang with the sound of chimes. It was sweet and innocent, yet somehow managed to carry authority to it at the same time. His voice drew me in even further; making me _want_ to answer his question

Perhaps it had a similar affect to the others because Alice blurted out the answer without thinking, something our kind does not do often, "He encountered a creature with eyes similar to yours that could control someone's every action once they made eye contact with her."

Rosalie shot Alice a look filled with malice thinking at the same time _I'd expect that from Emmett, but from Alice? Why doesn't she just jump on the human and get it over with._ Petty resentments, then again, that was nothing new from Rosalie.

I didn't understand Nathan's expression; but he seemed deep in thought before physically shaking his head and looking toward Alice. "And _what_ was the creature?"

How had we let him control the conversation? I found myself conflicted, part of me just wanted to answer his questions to hear that sweet tone of his voice again and again. It was like the eager student wanting so badly to please the teacher. He hadn't affected me like this in the past, so why was it so potent now? The others were obviously affected. Was Nathan intentionally manipulating us?

"Nathan, are you doing something…different?" Carlisle asked, in an incredibly safe tone.

"What do you mean…" Nathan looked at all of us with confusion plain on his face.

"Its unlike Alice, or any of us really, to speak to abruptly. Even I had to resist answering your question." Carlisle explained

"Ah…" Nathan said when something apparently clicked. "I'm sorry…it's a….um. something that happens when I get anxious." Nathan said sheepishly.

When he spoke this time there was nothing unnatural about his tone, just the standard Nathan that I knew.

It would be best if I remained quiet unless there was an absolute need for me to speak. Everyone knew my bias toward the situation, and would take most of what I said with a grain of salt. Nathan took our silence as a plea to explain what he'd just done.

"It isn't in _my_ nature to fight, although some of my kind of that purpose. Because of that I have ways to avoid fighting…That is one of them.

Nathan paused before continuing his explanation. "It has a lot of uses_._"

"Most pacifists don't have shotguns stashed in their closets." Emmett joked.

"Well, I'm not all human." Nathan said icily with a partnered glare.

"You're avoiding the main question. What _are_ you?" This time from Rosalie. Her thoughts changed from an attraction back to malice once his illusion faded.

He shot me a frustrated look and I thought I knew what he meant, he was sick of answering questions. Although he had my sympathy, I was thoroughly enjoying these stories. Finally - answers to questions that had been eating at me for days.

"I'm mostly human. But a couple of generations back my grandmother had a child with a Sidhe."

He waited for a moment, eyeing our expressions. We gave him nothing to act on. It wasn't difficult for any of us to remain stone-faced in a situation like this. He looked at us with an expression that hid nothing about what he was thinking at this moment. "Its diluted over the couple of generations, but I'm still not entirely human." He reminded us.

Esme spoke this time "Sidhe, as in aos sífrom Folklore?"

"Yes."

"I thought those were just stories." Mused Alice. She began to run through the stories she had read of what his claimed ancestry was. Once she seemed to remember everything necessary, I watched as a vision began to ride her.

Nathan stood with out family, laughing and smiling.. There was a cake. A birthday? Him and Alice spoke quietly to each other in a friendly matter that had initially made me jealous, until I saw the look that Nathan and I shared from across the room. The same look that Esme and Carlisle had whenever they looked in each other's eyes. Love.

The vision left me on a high that I couldn't begin to describe. I couldn't keep the smile off my face until Alice ruined the moment, always unable to keep her thoughts to herself. "We're going to be great friends Nathan!" she said in an ecstatic tone while he just stared at her blankly.

"Huh?" Nathan asked and turned to me; not giving me enough time to remove the smile from my lips.

"Alice can see the future at times" I explained. It took every part of my being to hold back from keeping the pure joy out of my voice.

"Why are you smiling then?"

I looked away – ignoring his question before shooting Alice a warning glare. _Sheesh Edward, chill! I won't tell him_. I sighed in relief.

Apparently Nathan got the hint. However it wasn't a complete victory, he shot me a look that made it clear this would be brought up later.

"Ah, my mom does too." He grinned. Odd. I admit that Alice can see the future and he doesn't have the slightest bit of hesitancy. Once again, unexpected. Maybe I should stop using human standards on Nathan. Everything would be much easier.

"Was that how you knew Jasper would be coming?" asked Rosalie hesitantly. We'd been trying to avoid the subject since Nathan arrived. It was only a matter of time before it would need to be addressed. I could hear Jasper's thoughts change from the misery that had been festering within him to listening intently on our conversation.

"Yes." Nathan paused for a second as his face developed a hardness that hadn't been there before.

"He isn't human." He continued.

Nathan hadn't directly asked us what we were – perhaps he found it rude. Redgardless, this is something I would leave to Carlisle.

"Perhaps it would be best if we went our separate paths…" Carlisle mused.

No, please, not that. Not now. I thirsted to know more about him, even his presence had grown to be an addiction. Of it was the obvious answer – both Nathan and my family would be out of harm's reach. And yet it seemed like I wouldn't survive such a trauma

"No. I want to hear the truth." Nathan demanded.

_We could just lie to him, I don't see why we owe him the truth_.

"We owe him much more than that." I said too fast and quiet for a human to hear. I was hoping Nathan was human enough that this sentence

Carlisle was very uncomfortable with this. He knew he was breaking laws set very strictly by the Volturi. _But what choice to do we have?_ Carlisle was the most compassionate of us all – he would find a way.

"I'll just save the dramatics then." Carlisle sighed before continuing.

"We're…What you would call Vampires."

That one sentence was so forbidden that I'd never heard it spoken. It seemed obvious enough, but actually hearing him the words shocking. All of us seemed to have a similar reaction, everyone's thoughts were wreaking with discomfort now that it was _our_ turn to share secrets.

"Vampires." Nathan said in a flat voice while looking at me.

_What was he thinking_? Although I was only able to read his thoughts for mere seconds, I struggled vainly in hopes that they would budge – but he remained expressionless. My family's thoughts mimicked mine _What is he thinking? Is he in shock? He won't tell anyone, we know his secret._ All from different people but I couldn't tell whose thoughts were whose that that very moment. The only thoughts that mattered were the ones I couldn't hear…

"Yes. But we're different from most of our kind." Carlisle added.

"We're vegetarians." Esme joked before Nathan even had time to ask.

I broke out into a small smile not because of the joke, but knowing that Nathan wouldn't have any idea what she was talking about. Before he even asked, which I knew he would, his eyes held the same apprehension that they always did before he asked something he thought he would regret. Maybe I was getting to know him better. I hope so.

"We only drink blood from animals instead of humans." I explained.

"That works?"

"For the most part. It doesn't fully satiate us but its usually enough to resist the temptation." Alice chimed in.

Once she'd had the vision it was apparent how badly she wanted to get to know Nathan; to set her vision in motion. Alice usually got like this once she'd had a vision, I knew from this point on she would be increasingly perseverant in her journey to become friends with Nathan.

"Usually?" he asked, his hear beat flickered, this time from fear.

"Slipups… occasionally happen, although everyone in this room right now has incredible self control." The way Carlisle phrased that was clever, but my entire family had caught on.

"I'm not completely human…" Nathan stated the obvious. "Would I be yummy?"

I'm uncertain whether it was actually what he said, how he said it, or how crazy of a statement it was in this overly-serious discussion. But all of us busted out laughing. I only laughed for a second or two before quickly removing it for a twitching grin.

Nathan didn't find it so comical. He crossed his arms looking vexed, waiting anxiously for a reply.

"Erm…" How inappropriate would a food analogy be? Terribly wrong – but nothing else came to mind.

"Lets see…If animals smelled like stale beer, and humans smelled like whiskey, you would be the finest type of aged wine."

"Oh…" The blood rushing to Nathan's cheeks. Was it from the laughter that had just ensued or my commentary? I wanted to scare the pride out of him. Make him understand that I was a monster, he should have ran out of here screaming the moment he found out we were vampires…

"Jasper isn't here right now." Nathan added, quick to change the subject.

Jasper was the newest to our way of life and has always had difficult controlling himself around humans. It only made sense though, the rest of us were 'born' into this environment, except for Alice who didn't have a memory of her human love for Alice is what kept him here living a life that he had found unnatural and frustrating. Carlisle's clever word play didn't seem to trick Nathan though, now that I think about it, Nathan used phrases like quite often. Never lying but frequently avoiding the truth. I'd need to ask him about that.

He shifted uncomfortably why looking around the room, presumably for Jasper, lacking any subtelty. The encounter with Jasper had shaken him more than I'd initially thought.

Of course it did! Having a violent vampire stalk and attack you bring fear to anyone; even some vampires. No one replied to his comment – they knew he was listening right now.

"Why did he attack me? Was there a group vote or something?" Nathan said accusingly. The vote comment was obviously an over exaggeration – unfortunately - he was exactly right. His anger was apparent. It seemed as though the glow and intensity of the color in his eyes adjusted to his emotional state. I sat feeling miserable, it was me who was completely at fault for his near-death experience. He had every right to be angry. "Its my fault." I admitted.

"No." Esme said shooting me a look I didn't deserve. _I won't let him ruin this for himself._

"Edward is taking the blame for something that we all had a part in. He's been defending you from the very beginning. Mone of us expected Jasper to act on it alone. He even hid what he was thinking from Edward to do it…"

"Wait, hid what he was thinking? All of you can read thoughts?" Nathan said – his voice frantic now. Tell him we are blood sucking predators and there's no response. Tell him we know what he's thinking and he nearly jumps off of his chair.

"Only Edward." Alice said.

Nathan turned toward me; anger pulsing through his eyes. He thinks I've been reading his thoughts from the beginning, only if he knew how desperately I wished for that to be true. But if I'd read his thoughts…. "So you've been reading my thoughts this entire time?" he accused me.

The rush of emotion that befell me as I looked into the pain held in his eyes was endless. How could he think that? Everything I'd done to protect him…he had no idea the complexities that existed within my heart. "I can't read your thoughts…Most of the time" I admitted. He seemed to ease at this statement that harshness in his eyes slowly fading. "What do you mean most of the time?"

"Only twice. When we were in the clearing the other day and when I went to your house while Jasper was there…" The pain was back when I remembered that night. Nathan on the floor unconscious like a rag doll. That night was too close to a death-match between my brother and I. Jasper was an expert fighter and even with my advantage of hearing his thoughts – my victory would not be guaranteed.

With luck on my side, and I really do think it was luck and not reason, Jasper agreed to go home while I took Nathan. The original plan had been to take him to a hospital until I saw what he was, I had no other choice to bring him back home.

"Oh…. Wait." Nathan said – a moment later exhaling in what seemed to be relief. The way his body smoothed out when he did this caught my attention. …And then it happened again. His thoughts were my own as he looked at me. _Can you hear me?_ He thought.

I couldn't hide my joy from him, but better yet, I _wanted_ him to see the emotion on my face. I wanted him to have even the slightest inkling of how I felt. It was impossible that he for me with the same intensity that I did him, his body would not have been able to carry such a weight.

However he was working through this situation not for his own benefit, but in that moment I knew it was because of me.

He loved me… These spoken thoughts – I just simply knew. The most exciting part of it was that I loved too. At that one moment it didn't matter how unnatural this love was, between two men, and worst off, between predator and prey. None of it mattered because with what I felt, I could overcome anything. That I was certain.

"Yes" I said gleefully.

_Will we be able to spend time alone today?_

"Anything you want" I said with a smile that wouldn't leave my face.

He returned mine with his own version. And then the glowing began to grow again. The iridescent paleness of his skin shone right through him as if it was the moon in liquid form. Yes, the glow was definitely tied to his emotions. And this time I knew that Nathan was just as happy that I was. No, happy wasn't the word. _Euphoric._

Emmett interrupted in an irritable tone "What's going on?"

"He can choose whether he lets me in or not, he must have been shielding himself from me instinctively before…" I wondered. Had he also been shielding himself from Alice or was it simply what he was?

"Why's he glowing again?" Asked an irritated Rosalie. She hated that he contained a beauty she would never be able to imitate, much less outshine.

Both of us ignored her question, but I noticed Nathan had developed a slight blush under his shining skin.

Esme smiled and thought positively toward Nathan and I; she knew what had just happened.

_I wonder how close Hollywood is to the truth. Coffins? Garlic? Sunlight? Do they have reflections?_

I laughed before I could catch myself. Everyone looked at me – Emmett and Rosalie irritated with our one side conversation, but Carlisle and Esme were both beaming with joy. Their thoughts were happy for me, and I was grateful. Happy that I could finally put their long worries at ease.

"All wrong. But we can't go out in sunlight" I answered his unspoken question.

His eyes were wide with fear – the thought of me turning into a pile of ashes was entertaining although I didn't like him being upset on my account. "No, not that. People will be able to tell that we are different."

_How?_ Nathan thought – But Alice didn't give him the opportunity. She moved in a flash that I doubt he even saw. She used the rare sunny day to her advantage and sat in the rays of the sun emitting from the window on the other side of the room. She smiled but I grimaced at the thought of her being so forward. I was still waiting for the moment to come where Nathan left the room screaming at what horrible monsters we were. This would be proof we were different.

_Amazing!_ Nathan thought

Her normal pale skin seemed to be painted with diamonds that glistened in reflection of the sun. The invisible diamonds danced across her skin mimicking the suns movement until she chose decided that it was enough, and took a seat next to me. She was excited to become friends with Nathan, but similar to Esme and Carlisle, she was incredibly happy for me as well.

"Can't you hide it though?" the thought of our family walking throughout the school campus glistening like a bunch of jewels ran through his head.

"Hide it?" Rosalie asked – this time genuinely curious.

"Well make it so the humans can't see the…shine. I can change most of my features slightly so people will never see how I really look, I just assumed that if there were other …things like me that they would have a similar ability so they can live amongst humans."

"Ah…So that's why you looked normal before at school?" asked Alice. She sat cross legged in the love seat next to me so that we were touching – but she didn't seem to notice.

Nathan just nodded happily.

"Unfortunately not…That's why we picked Forks, its nearly perpetually overcast so it lets us live somewhat normal lives." Carlisle interjected.

Nathan was excited by something. The thought of him being useful to us thrilled him, he hoped that it would be enough reason for us to keep him around. He had no idea that I wanted him around every moment of every day and night.

"I have an idea." Nathan said as he walked to the window that Alice had stood not a minute before. _Edward, come here for a second_. His joy sparked my own when I got up to stand next to him, not even bothering to move at human speed. _Wow_ was all he thought, but didn't give it a second thought.

The sun against my skin felt overly warm – but still did not compare to the touch of Nathan's skin. Being next to him right now made his scent even more difficult to ignore but I managed, I used the pain to remind myself how happy I was at this moment. Not even the thirst would bother me right now. I could see myself through his mind, glistening brightly next to him.

There was a similar sensation to that night in the park. It was as if a bug was tickling down my face that trailed down my entire body. I heard several gasps from my family before I saw through their perspective that I was no longer shining. Seeing myself in the sun without that sheen was an emotional journey – something that I had not experienced in nearly a century. Was there anything this boy could not do for me? Maybe it was fate – everything seemed so perfect.

"…How are you doing that?" Carlisle said with difficulty. His mind went through the possibilities of being able to go into the sunlight. _We will never have to worry about the sunlight again_ he mused – the sun was one of the most difficult obstacles in avoiding detection by humans, and here was someone who could suppress this image with seemingly little difficulty. However I hated the idea of using Nathaniel as just a tool.

"Just like how I do for myself. It just takes a little concentration but I don't need to focus it or anything. I need to pay more attention when its on other people." Nathan said – pleased that his experiment had worked.

"I want to try!" Alice yelled and then she was suddenly in front of us. Too close to Nathan. I found myself hovering over him defensively when Alice reminded me through her thoughts _Edward, I have a better track record than you._ The thought hurt but was very true. I backed down and allowed her to get closer so that the sun hit her in a dazzling array of light. Not a second after the shine appeared did it disappear. These features did not slowly fade either – it was there one second then gone the next.

Everyone was amused by this illusion. I think the image of us in the sun was something that we had all fantasized about at one point or another. One by one my family began gathering close to the window until I finally insisted on going to the balcony. So many vampires close to Nathan made me more nervous than it should have, but I refused to risk his safety ever again.

The group of us went to the balcony right outside the kitchen. Everyone was talking excitedly as if it were a school fieldtrip. Although our house was secluded enough that we never had to hide here – everyone felt incredibly at ease as they absorbed the sunlight without the faintest worry of being seen. The relief is something that cannot be described, but having a paranoia for well over 90 years, and then to have it suddenly obliterated in a moment was a liberating experience. Nathan remained quiet during this spectacle – his thoughts focused on all of us looking normal in the sun rather than a bunch of shining alien-like figures.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly only for him – but I knew everyone would hear anyway.

He smiled, albeit not a genuine one, just to put me at ease. "Im fine, but with so many people it takes focus to maintain the illusion.

"Could you do this during school?" Rosalie's mind immediately strayed to what the humans would think of her in natural lighting. Sometimes it was so frustrating to hear her thoughts – you would think she would consider that this was painful for him? Although it obviously wasn't, it bothered me that she hadn't thought of the option.

"I can, as long as no one surprises me or makes me lose focus. And you all need to stay somewhat close to me, I'm not sure how far it reaches."

"What type of thing would make you have to drop the illusion?" Emmett asked.

As if on queue the illusion dropped and we were a bunch of shining vampires in the sunlight. Everyone looked around confused by why Nathan decided to drop the illusion. In that moment I felt the intense wave of fear rush over Nathan while I saw Jasper standing in the door way.

Nathan wanted to turn and run away at the first sight of him; truly afraid that Jasper would go in for a second attack and finish the job. _"Your kind cannot be left to live"_ rang through both of our thoughts as Nathan stood dead still – this time those multicolored orbs of his looking straight at Jasper.

_Edward will protect me…_ he thought.

But I knew he didn't really believe that.


	6. Lust

_At last! I think this is a very eventful chapter that **everyone** will enjoy. The long awaited first (of many) kisses._

_Hope everyone enjoys! Please review! XD_

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**Nathan**

This was extraordinary. The group of us, me and the Cullens, sat outside in the sunlight laughing and joking. It must have looked funny to the standard onlooker. A group astoundingly beautiful people surrounding me and laughing merrily in the sunlight. It seemed more like a movie scene, was this actually happening?

It was a change of pace from the dreadfully serious conversation that just took place. Maybe all of us were just avoiding the conversation? It was clear that something with this level of importance wouldn't be resolved so easily. I still had dozens of questions to ask and I had no doubt they did too.

Although most of mine could wait until I was alone with Edward. Hopefully I would be able to break off from the group, I felt oddly out of place amongst such a tight knit family.

Or maybe I was simply making excuses to be alone with him. Our relationship…could it be called a relationship? Was this confusing cluster-fuck quickly developed emotion a relationship? I don't know, but the feeling was there and that's all that mattered. People say love at first sight doesn't exist – I'd agree with that. This was not love at first sight it was something much more. A connection that grew with every waking minute whether I fought it or not, thankfully, I was more than willing to succumb to this unstoppable force.

The moment was over. For some reason I completely overlooked the possibility of Jasper being in the house, no idea why. Maybe it was selective thinking, but the image of the person who had very recently tried to _kill_ me sulking in his room hadn't come to mind.

All of the Cullens turned dead still – not looking at Jasper, but me. Was he going for a second try? Was this all a distraction?

Would the Cullens let Jasper kill me? Edward wouldn't…although I wasn't fully confident.

Edward gave me a panicked glare after he'd obviously heard my thoughts. None of the Cullens seemed tense or afraid with the exception of Edward, was he just being overprotective? I desperately scanned all of their eyes in hopes they would bring me to ease while the physical embodiment of my fear stood calmly in front of me.

Jasper began to walk toward me in a slower than human pace. Both his body language and his expression were safe and very careful – but in his eyes I saw something different.

Remorse. It broadcasted clearly through those amber eyes of his. I couldn't help but pray that this wasn't my doing. My body remained motionless as Jasper moved closer to me. Both Alice and Rosalie had shifted themselves gracefully so he could come within an arm's reach. I wanted to run away. Turn around and run as fast as I could and never look back. Of course that wasn't an option…The memory of earlier today replayed; demanding my attention.

_I'm going to make sure no one ever hurts you again_.

Had he meant it? Seeing the memory and feeling Edward right next to me made me suddenly feel safe. Edward whispered quietly to me "I meant it."

My entire body warmed up, and suddenly I was completely safe yet again.

Only now did I begin to take in Jasper's features. I'd only seen him at school, and last time I'd seen Jasper…well…I had other priorities. Surviving for example.

"Hello, Jasper." I said, keeping my voice even; but an threatening undercurrent peaked through.

"Hello…" he said quietly. He wouldn't look me in the eyes which took me by surprise. I wasn't sure how old Jasper was, but I arrogance came with old age. Well, all I had to compare with was my mother – but she swore all of our kind were overconfident.

"How…do you make them stop?"

Misery echoed with Jasper's every word. Everything was clear – when he had looked into my eyes last he was assaulted with visions of his own past. No wonder it was so effective, certainly a vampire has many things that they would feel remorseful for. Afterall, don't most of them kill humans to survive? Jasper also had many more years than your average human, that many more regrets.

The guilt stabbed me like a knife. Doing what I'd done to him was against my very nature. It was something done unknowingly out of desperation. How did I know exactly what I'd done to him right now? No idea, things seemed to work out that way for me. The answers just seemed to be there without having to ask them.

I took a risk at Jasper's expense. How could I have done that? More importantly…How could I fix it?

There was only one way I could think of – and no one would like this idea; myself included. Only now did I realize how close everyone was. I needed my space. Everyone needed to go away but Edward, he could stay as close as he wanted. Preferably closer…but Edward always remained a safe distance from me – why was that?

_Edward – I can fix this_.

Turning from Jasper, Edward's body became less rigid once he heard my thoughts. "How?" he asked hesitantly.

I fought hard not to think of what I was considering, instead I focused on the conversation we had in the living room.

"Can we have some privacy….I'm getting uncomfortable." What a lame excuse. Most of them must have been suspicious about my sudden request because Edward muttered something so quickly I couldn't comprehend. Whatever he said incited a scowl from Rosalie as she left the room; hand in hand with Emmett.

"Alice…Stay please." I asked, she smiled openly at my request, Edward rolling his eyes.

"Remember when I said Sidhe usually have a…niche?"

That was tactful. This was a subject that would need to be approached very carefully…

Both Edward and Alice nodded while I leaned back on the railing of the balcony trying to calm myself.

"Well, I'm descended from several lines of Fertility deities."

I'm only descended by beings that were worshipped as _gods_. That was probably the safest way that I could explain this. If I was more comfortable being forward I probably could have replaced 'Fertility' with sex. They were smart, they'd figure it out.

"_No."_ Edward demanded – fury raging in his voice.

"I can fi-"

"_No!"_ Edward yelled. "Its not happening, I won't allow it."

"What is it?" Alice asked in a neutral tone while she lightly touched Jasper's arm. Jasper appeared to be in a different world while this conversation took place – his eyes were focused on nothing in particular.

_Is it because you're jealous_? I thought accusingly toward Edward.

"You don't even know." Edward snapped condescendingly, his words holding a venom to them. He glared at me infuriated in silence – surely he was thinking hard for a reason to not let me do this. How could he be so selfish? I just wanted to fix what _I'd_ done in the first place.

"Oh…" Alice said with a blank expression.

"He won't hurt him Edward. Give him more credit than that…." Alice crossed her arms stubbornly.

Now I knew why Emmett was irritated when we had these one-sided conversations, it was really annoying to only hear bits and pieces of a conversation. Just enough to keep you curious, but never enough to fully satisfy.

"What is it…?" Jasper asked in a weakened tone. Even speaking seemed to be a chore for him.

"I think I can fix it…It might be a bit…unexpected."

That was putting it lightly.

"How so?"

"Well…The way most things work for me…Is through sex or some sort of body contact. I don't know why, but I'm sure I can I can fix it."

"You need to have sex - ?" Jasper asked incredulously.

Oh god no!

"Oh. No." I cut him off.

"Everything will be fine." Alice smiled darkly. She gave me a look that told me she knew _exactly_ what I was planning.

I turned toward Edward in one swift movement – I wanted so badly to close the distance between us. Even now as he heard my thoughts…he didn't make a movement forward. Why? _What are you thinking?_

"That he doesn't have the self control to not hurt you…and I can't put you in danger like that." He said in a whisper – could Jasper and Alice hear our conversation? I hated the feeling that nothing was private in this house.

_He won't hurt me. I won't let him_.

Edward laughed darkly "You find out what we are and you think you know everything…you have no idea what we are capable of."

I began to think in Cantones. The fact that he didn't know Cantonese was a guess, and it seemed like a correct one judging his facial expression once my thoughts raced in the tonal language. Why was he being so cruel? I just wanted to help…I wanted to be useful.

"Please trust me…" I whispered. I reached out for his and took it with both of mine. It was so cold…should have guessed. The sensation brought a high that I'd never experienced before, over something so minimal. Physical contact was not something I was new to – of course – with my talents being what they were.

Edward pulled his hand away…It took me a moment to realize it was gone. So what was I? Something to look at not to touch – but I couldn't touch anyone else? I didn't know what he wanted, he opened his mouth as if to speak but I stopped him. "No."

I pivoted to be facing Alice and Jasper again, although when I spoke it was not for them. "This is not your decision to make, Edward." My tone was cold as ice, and from Alice's expression, my face probably depicted something similar.

"Are you both okay with this?"

Jasper turned to Alice and took her in his arms. The two of them looked at eachother; their expressions unwavering. Everyone in this house could have unspoken conversations, a talent I wish I had at this very moment. The unspoken things that I would say to Edward…This was one of the many times I was grateful that I spoke Cantonese, usually it was for shock value. Now it was utterly practical. No one would be reading my thoughts right now.

Edward was behind me not saying a word although you could certainly feel the tension that was beginning to radiate off of him. Why was he staying quiet? Most people at this point would have just left the room if they decided they lost – was he still going to try to protect me? It would be entirely unnecessary. He needed to stop treating me like a _human_, like some fragile piece of art so easily broken. I'd show him.

Jasper looked at me and nodded. This was signal enough for me – now or never. Time to save the killer.

I took a step toward Alice and Jasper; still in eachother's arms. Edward took a step with me nearly touching while I could feel the power rise up from my solar plexus and felt it flow through my body like fire.

_Edward, do not touch me._

I smiled and new I was shining brilliantly. The group of us were quintessentially unnatural looking. Alice and Jasper glimmering brilliantly in the sunlight – their shine was more intense and demanding compared to mine. I began to glow like a full moon, or the reflection off the evening ocean. It was something progressive that built up over time until after a few seconds – I was the moon and they were the sun.

"Jasper." I said, commanding his attention.

This was one of those moments where I logic and instinct clashed. I began to reach out to Jasper's face ready to touch that cold soft flesh. The logical part of me was screaming in despereation while I fearlessly went to touch this murderous stranger. It seemed to take minutes for my hand to take the journey from my side to Jasper. During this time I began to call every sensation of lust and love, I remembered every moment of joy that I'd experienced throughout my very short life.

"NO!" Edward screamed

The sound made my hair stand on end but I chose to ignore it. This was something that must be done and I was the only one who could fix it. What about that did Edward not understand?

Was he so blind that he refused to accept that perhaps Jasper wouldn't be able to attack me? When Alice had mentioned that Jasper had faced a creature that could control the mind's of others…I wasn't entirely confident that it was Sidhe he encountered. But its true that this was possible.

My mother explained it as 'rolling' someone. And it wasn't so much mind control as you could make them obsess over you for a short period of time. It happened naturally with humans – it was something that we couldn't control, it even happened to me although I was mostly human. My affect was just more controllable and intensified – its in my nature to be desired. While the person was under this affect usually they listened to everything we had to say…so the important question here was, could I roll a vampire?

Contact. Just like Edward's Jasper's skin was cold to the touch. His face moved against my hand like a lover would. Although I didn't deserve this motion, soon the lust would be too much for him to control. The hard part would be making sure the lust was focused toward Alice, not _me._

Several things happened at once. I hadn't considered how close my wrist would be to Jasper's mouth and nose. This was an epic oversight. While I gently brushed his skin I heard a low growl emit from the deep bowels of his throat. There was no time to react but I just _pushed_. Pushed all of that emotion and sensation from me to him. Images of Jasper and Alice having sex rushed through my mind, as the vision rode me I knew everything would be alright.

I didn't have the opportunity to see what happened next.

It was so quick that I felt the urge to vomit. In a single movement I was in Edward's arms moving at a speed that made my stomach jurgle in every which direction. The features of the house moved so fast that I couldn't even make anything out as more than a blur until we abruptly stopped.

The room mostly spotless with the exception of books thrown carelessly on the floor in a couple of spots. It was done in a navy and white motif with no bed, just a futon couch toward the outer wall. The futon was one of the first things I noticed…since after our little trip Edward placed me down carefully while my eyes began to refocus..

No. Decorations can wait, Edward was in deep shit.

I glared at him in my furied state – determined to me angry with him. Admittedly it was difficult. All I wanted to do was hold him. He stood there perfectly still while I continued with my dumbfounded gaze. No. I couldn't hold him because he wouldn't allow it

"What exactly are you doing?" I said in a tone so acidic that it even shocked me.

"I promised to protect you Nathan…even if that means from yourself."

"I was in complete control." I hissed

"You have no idea how close Jasper was to attacking you…It was too much for him."

"He would have been helpless Edward, and then I would have fixed everything. But no, you whisked me away like some freaking damsel in distress." I began to raise my voice just slightly unknowingly.

"How would he have been helpless?" Edward asked – it sounded like he didn't even want to know the answer.

"You seem to want to forget the fact that I'm not entirely human. I'm not some fragile breakable thing to be protected."

_So fragile…_ Edward whispered so quietly it was barely audible

I ignored him.

He looked at me with rage that countered mine. _No, he was not allowed to be angry right now_.

"Don't you get it? It…_pains_ me to think of you being in danger. I…" he stopped mid sentence.

My heart stopped while he left me waiting, what was he going to say? I knew I'd stopped breathing but wouldn't dare take a breath in case it made him change his mind. Every inch of my body yearned to hear what the end of that sentence was…

"Nevermind" Edward said quietly, much to my absolute misery.

"Don't do that!" I said a little too loudly. "Do you know what that does to _me_? How confused I am? We don't all have the luxury to read thoughts."

My face felt warm with the sudden rush of emotions, the heat that began to slowly rise to my eyes made me uncertain whether they were tears or actual fire. Edward moved at a human speed and sat next to me cross legged, just centimeters away from my leg. Oh how badly I wished he had made that extra distance. That was how it always was, just close enough to plant the seed of desire but never enough to feed my constant wanting.

We sat parallel– both wishing that the other would speak first. Thankfully, he began to finish where he'd left off..

"When I saw you…unconscious…and your pulse so weak. I empty at the thought of losing you." He laughed bitterly – although his eyes watched me eagerly for my reaction.

"What's funny?" My rigid posture changed into something much more relaxed. The anger had been something welcome, anger was always easier to manage that other emotions. Fortunately, I just couldn't manage to stay angry at Edward for any extended period of time…I suppose that just comes with the package. Perfection is hard to be mad at.

"I do so many things to avoid scaring you – but it must be hard to understand the complexity of my emotion towards you…afterall we've been acquainted for so little time. I cannot explain it."

"You don't need to…" I smiled. I began to grow lightheaded while he confessed to me – as if I as lost in his words. Everything was so intense I could physically feel the difference in my heart. Suddenly it was like my entire body was placed under a heater – a warm sensation enveloping me from the inside out.

"You're glowing again…" Edward said with a smirk on his face.

"What's the smirk?" I grinned. I bet he put the pattern together – he could make me glow like he could make a schoolgirl blush.

I tried to suppress the glow so that I wouldn't be wearing my emotions on my sleeve, a very bright, very unnatural sleeve. In the end it just didn't seem worth it, I was with the man I loved. I did love him – it didn't matter if I'd known him for days, hours, or years. This sensation was so pure that every part of me knew that it was permanent.

"I wonder…" he said teasingly.

He used my glowing embarrassment to his advantage and moved with feline grace toward me. I watched helplessly like a deer in the headlights while his hand lightly stroked my face. His face came closer and closer to mine – and I knew that my face must have been a brilliant shade of red. He was so beautiful it was beyond unnatural, I was completely and utterly captivated by the rawness of all of his features. His hand played at my neck until it acted like a catalyst, I moved my head toward his aggressively until our lips connected.

To me a kiss had always been a means to an end. That was my purpose and I was good at it. However…this…was something entirely different. His lips were like cold velvet playing across my own with masterful technique. The coolness of his lips combined with the temperature of his hand at the back of my neck played with my mind. Inside was so hot, so warm, and yet Edward's frigid body seemed to be a relief from this fire building up inside me. Edward was the perfect solution to this – and suddenly the desire of his cold skin touching every inch of my body seemed to be the only way to make the heat stop rising, the sensation of it made me emit small hungry noises in the midst of the kiss. I knew as the heat grew so did the shine to my skin, I didn't care. Let Edward see me at my peak.

Our mouths were eating at each other in desperation – my hands played wildly in his hair as the lust began to manifest itself. I could feel my lust being siphoned and passed off onto Edward. This was wrong, I knew it, but I couldn't help what was naturally happening…I probably could have stopped it…it felt so _amazing_. Is this what humans felt when I had kissed them? I was like an addict who couldn't stop – every part of me ached to have him touch me.

My…affect on Edward grew as our hands began to grasp at each other desperately, the desire to touch and be touched was something that I could invoke, yet had never felt it _myself_. My pulse thrummed in my throat when I became entirely consumed by my own self-generated lust. With every passing second my desire grew – I could feel Edward's lust building in correlation with mine. Was he reading my thoughts? Did he know my every desire? Was that why he was so _good_?

Couldn't think…not anymore…all there was were his cold lips and hands, teasing my every want and need. Edward was all that I would need – for ever and ever.


	7. Control

_Definitely a shorter chapter - but I'm still trying to catch up from the holidays! Not much time to write! I wanted to thank everyone for the nice reviews and also adding this story to there alerts. Enjoy!_

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**Edward**

_What was I thinking_. Throughout my entire unnatural existence I've developed a nearly impenetrable resistance to any sort of physical temptation. Until I met Nathan, that temptation was exclusively the thirst. Now there was an entirely new realm of desire that I must thwart. As if these desires could get any worse, Nathan seemed to have the uncanny ability to multiply these alluring fantasies.

I was taking a huge risk. Allowing myself so close to his neck…to that pulse that perpetually reminded me of how different we were. His intoxicating scent dominated me while I continued to abstain from everything all logic and went in for a kiss.

His pulse hastened when we connected. It felt like electricity playing across my lips; this foreign sensation playing my mind and body. Perhaps with time the burning deep in my throat would ease. His hands moved with artful technique, brushing mundane parts of my body, and yet each new touch brought me to a new thrilling high.

Every part of me ached with need. It didn't matter how or where we touched – just as long as his flesh was next to mine. My thoughts ran irrationally, disregarding any sort of warning of my inevitable loss of control with a grain of salt. My skin tingled lightly – this familiar tickling was a sign more than anything of my impending loss of self-control.

Nathan was doing something to me that I couldn't understand…and what was truly terrifying… was that I wanted him to. Every part of me ached for him to completely consume me in this lust. Whatever affect or illusion he'd manifested between the two of us made every single touch bring me to a state of ecstasy. Was this something intentional – or merely a…_bonus_ of being Sidhe?

No. What I'd feared. This is why I'd have to betray all logic to kiss him, my own sexual desire began to fuel the thirst. My curiosity was no longer the reason I listened to his pulse. The monster reared its head – thinking only of that ruby colored elixir that was so close…I knew he would taste even _better_ than he smelled. I broke the kiss and began to trail lower down his chin toward his neck….my lips grazed the soft skin just between the jaw and neck. I exhaled deeply bringin him to shiver. I knew he didn't shiver from fear, but the affect that this had on him.

His thoughts were clear as any radio reception to me, I held his wrists down with my all of my inhuman strength. The monster in me enjoyed this, his helpless whimper sent thrills through me that Nathan had been eliciting just moments earlier. The monster wanted him to struggle now that he was certain that death was close. And yet, he waited quietly, wincing in discomfort while my hands slowly grinded his two wrists together. Even his thoughts were calm. _He won't hurt me_ Nathan thought so confidently.

He was so wrong…

"No!" I screamed – recoiling from his touch.

I jumped as far back as I could, gluing myself to the wall while every part of me wanted to lunge at him and bleed him dry.

Now he would understand why it was so dangerous for us to be together. Even the smallest intimate action would provoke a frenzy within me. Surely he saw it in my eyes – and yet once again his thoughts were a mystery to me.

I'd convinced myself that this was evidence enough that he was afraid of me. It would only be a matter of time before he left…'that would be for the best' I constantly reminded myself between the convulsions of rage that burned through me. Unlike me, he had the tools to live a normal life. He deserved that gift.

I used all of my concentration to keep my muscles from diving into an aggressive stance. Nathan stayed perfectly still on my futon, his palms resting on both of thighs. The glow from his skin had faded entirely while he stared at me with his beautiful eyes.

Normally I was mystified by the pure beauty of them, but at this very moment, they seemed to taunt me, almost _calling_ me to go and attack. He was so helpless sitting there, that fact both hardened by will to protect him while provoking the monster even more.

"Esme" Nathan said seemingly out of nowhere. Even though it was barely above a whisper, the word sounded as if he was calling Esme. What seemed even more curious was the fact he had realized our extra sensitive hearing so early. He was so perceptive…. I would be able to manage being with him if he'd just been _human_. But his scent… Was an ability? An ability meant only to me? To torture and tempt me every second that he existed? It didn't matter, even thinking about that aroma made my knees buckle in place.

"He's in pain…but I think if I try to help him it will make it even worse." Sadness oozed from Nathan's words.

He wasn't afraid of me – he still seemed entirely confident that I wouldn't hurt him. At what point would he finally realize how many times he's come close to death by my hand? Nathan opened his thoughts to me as if he knew I was pained by the silence.

The thoughts didn't come in words. I just _knew_. He didn't want me to go through this, he was blaming _himself_ for my weakness. I saw myself through his eyes looking absolutely fearsome even in my kneeled stance. Esme and Nathan exchanged a glance before Esme came to kneel next to me, her hand gently rubbing my back while fighting to get a position to look me in the eyes.

In the midst of my hunger I could hear Nathan get up from the futon and walk out of the room. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. A low gutteral sound emitted through my throat while the _need_ began to transcend into a new level. The fact that my arousal seemed to make the thirst even more difficult to control around Nathan presented a very large problem. Nathan's…ability seemed to work as a catalyst for the thirst. I needed him here, right now.

Why? I couldn't be sure if I needed him to get through this…or if the monster just wanted a second chance.

"Edward, _fight it_." This time from Carlisle. I hadn't even notice him come in, was I really that close to killing Nathan that I was so oblivious to my surroundings?

_How am I so stupid? How could I have done this? I'm so fucking stupid_…

It was Nathan. He thought that _he_ was the one at fault? If I wasn't so close to killing him I would be there in seconds to make everything clear. Unfortunately…I was.

"this feeling" I choked out. How could was it to describe a sensation that was produced by neither Human nor Vampire abilities?

"Edward, what is it?" Carlisle asked with a ton of worry in his voice.

_Please let him be alright. He can fight this. He can do anything he puts his mind to_, Esme thought passionately.

The insanity that had been manifesting itself began to fade. I could literally feel a layer of _something_ being removing itself from my skin; the intense sexual ache that echoed throughout my body began to dissipate. Finally I could move freely with nothing paralyzing me but the thirst; which was easily manageable. Well, perhaps not easily…I would have to hunt _very_ soon.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked – bringing me back to reality.

_Why did Nathan leave? Was he afraid of what Edward would do?_ He thought to himself.

"I'm…not sure." I admitted.

"You need to hunt – You haven't since before Nathan came." Esme scolded me, although her tone sounded more of relief than irritation.

"That…wasn't the thirst."

"What do you mean? What was it then?"

"I don't even know if it was something Nathan did." I trailed off – not wanting to place him at fault when I wasn't even sure what had happened.

"Edward, explain what happened." Carlisle's voice remained neutral – but his thoughts were focused on the safety of his family.

"After we kissed – something began to build up. It was like a thin layer of something covering me…I just _needed_ to touch him and be touched. I knew what was happening – I could have stopped sooner, but I didn't _want_ to. And then the thirst came…"

"Edward go hunt – we can sort this out afterwards." Esme pressed.

_Do I have any self control? Edward will never want to speak with me again. I practically raped him…Absolutely vile. I never meant to do this to him…Need to leave. Go somewhere far. Where I cant hurt him again._

"Nathan…I need to go to him."

I couldn't let him think that _any_ of this was true – how could he possibly consider for even a second that he was at fault? If he'd found someone human…none of this would have been an issue.

"If you go to him without hunting – you could risk hurting him." Carlisle reasoned.

Unfortunately for me, his reasoning was sound. It shouldn't take more than an hour, except that I would need to get far enough so that Nathan's scent wouldn't be anywhere in the vicinity. If his scent reached me while hunting, I was certain my control would not hold.

Nathan's thoughts were no longer words but a twisted array of awful images; most of them completely untrue. I was once again in this position. Nathan was so close, but there was yet _another_ reason keeping me from him when he needed me the most. Running southeast for 20 minutes should keep me out of his scent's reach. I could be back in less than an hour.

One hour. Please Nathan, just be okay for one hour.


	8. Oath

_Another somewhat short chapter! I was just lazy earlier this week and didn't want to proof read both =X I'll make up for it next chapter though I promise! I'm pretty happy with this chapter, it gave Nathan a chance to really vocalize some emotion that's been building since he met Edward - and also shows some consequences of their relationship since he isn't your standard human._

_So I'm outlining for some future chapters - and I really can't decide if I want to have the James/Laurent/Victoria Coven included in some sort of conflict. If you have any thoughts on this either way lemme know! =D_

_Enjoy!_

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**Edward**

There was no time to enjoy my meal. In the ten minutes I'd been here, I utterly gorged myself on blood. It took several full-sized elk to satiate my hunger, the entire time my mind on Nathan. I tried to fight the fantasy of Nathan's blood flowing through my mouth; rather than some animal's. The perverted thought disgusted made me hate myself even more.

My hands gripped the elk's neck with unwavering strength while the animal slowly died. I wiped the food from my mouth, ascending uncomfortably. I glutted myself such a short period hoping that it would make his scent more bearable. This tenacious connection between Nathan and I was so…wrong. Every part of me ached to kill him in his presence, and yet my life felt so much more complete when I was around him. Just knowing that he was a part of my life caused emotions that I had believed were dormant until several days ago.

The cliché sounded like a line straight out of a _Jane Austen _novel. My legs carried me as fast as they could throughout the forest while my mind stayed preoccupied. I flashed back to Nathan's thoughts while I, regrettably, had to hunt. Did he really skitter off into the forest? Impossible – he was far too injured to go any great distance. Then again – Nathan had the uncanny ability to do exactly what I expected him _not_ to. And apparently, what was the most dangerous path.

If I truly did care about Nathan – I would leave him. Simply accept the fact that both of us are unnatural creatures and leave. He would eventually forget me over time, he was mostly human afterall. I'd had but one conversation with him and he ended up in critical condition.

Imagine if something, _anything_ developed between us. hurting him made me flinch from a pain that wasn't at all physical. Perhaps the more appropriate question would be if I was even _capable_ of staying away from him. Had he put a sort of spell over me, made it impossible for me to say no? Did he have this affect on everyone? The rest of my family noticed the intensity of his scent – however it didn't affect them the way it had me.

I'd reached a familiar part of the forest – I was minutes away at this point.

Alice's thoughts appeared loudly although it was Nathan whom I was searching for.

Nathan sat there huddled at the brim of the woods just outside of our house. So he did _try_ to leave. Unbelievable.

Alice had gone to him soon after I left. I knew he intended on leaving our house – but I didn't really think he would actually do it. Perhaps just teenage melodrama. Apparently not. _I'm sorry Edward – But I knew you wouldn't want him to leave._ Alice apologized.

Alice was incredibly difficult to surprise – but I could feel the sense of shock when she saw Nathan's eyes at that moment. His eyes carried a misery that I'd never seen before. The color of his eyes were intensified by the crystal droplets that fell freely from them. The whiteness of his eyes remained pure and unnatural even in the midst of his sobs. This creature…even consumed by angst he was beautiful.

I couldn't watch anymore. I needed to see him? Where was he?

Frantically, I scanned for his thoughts, every inch of me hoping he hadn't closed himself from me – although I guessed that he was in no state to do so.

Found him.

Nathan's thoughts continued to grow and evolve from the dark spiral earlier. The image of my face continued to reappear in the cluster of images – only to be replaced by intense regret

I stopped about ten feet short of him and began to move at a human speed. Those ten feet seemed like _eons_. I could see his back trembling from the sobs, and yet even with my acute hearing I heard nothing. What was his past like – where he had to learn to mourn in absolute silence?

I took a seat next to him – careful to keep a safe distance. Nathan paid no attention to me; he was drowning in misery

_How could I talk to him after what I'd done?_

A fresh cascade of tears began to fall while his mouth jerked slightly in an attempt to fight off the emotion.

"Nathan…"

His breathing faltered at the sound of my voice.

"You did nothing wrong. You need to stop thinking like that."

Nathan's thoughts carried a certain clarity at my words – unlike the glossiness before. What I'd said was the catalyst for rage that had been building for much longer than this very long hour. Now that rage was directed toward me…For once – a small part of me was afraid. That fear reminded me that… I wasn't the only monster here.

"Don't you get it?" he laughed without humor.

"These feelings you have for me – _I made_ you feel them." The agony evident in eyes pierced right through me. I didn't need to hear his thoughts – he was not trying to me with his small speech; but himself.

"Every part of me _wants_ you. Just being this close to you and being unable to touch you…its unbearable. I've never wanted anyone before…I must be forcing you." He spit out the last words.

"_Its just what I am"_ he finished, making sure to utter every last syllable.

How could I prove to him …

"Do you remember the first day?" I asked.

My question was intentionally vague – but I watched the image flashed through his memory like a video tape. I would never forget that day – even though he was human…something told me he would never forget it either.

"Yes." He said apprehensively.

"Why did you drop your illusion that day? When we made eye contact?"

It was unmistakable. Part of him _wanted_ his theory to be true. Admittedly, so did I…it would be so much easier to ignore him knowing that these emotions that were awoken were not of my own doing.

However, we both knew that wasn't the case. From the moment we set eyes on each other, from his addicting scent, to his unnatural attraction to me. We wouldn't be able to fight this. How could anyone fight something so _right_?

The moment flashed before my eyes, this wasn't my memory, but Nathan's. When we made eye contact he seemed stunned – the infatuation manifested itself immediately. The sensation that flowed through him was identical to mine.

"I wish I had the power to leave…" I began

A new form of panic rushed through his eyes.

_Please no. I knew he would leave me. I knew it. How can I live with this…I've only known him for a couple of days, but life without him seems impossible._

_No. He's right._

_This is what I deserve – my kind isn't meant to love_.

Love? Is that what I felt?

Nathan didn't dare speak after my last comment.

"But I can't."

"You…can't?" His told held a mixture of confusion and chagrin.

I reached for his hand, ignoring it when he pulled his hands closer to his lap. I took the hand and felt the electricity run up and my palm. Fighting the sensation to close my eyes in pleasure "I don't _want_ to stay away from you. Whatever we have…it feels too good to ignore."

"I'm sorry, Edward. What I did is unforgivable..."

The tears began to fall again while his mind continued to explore the dark spirals of emotion. Without any warning I wrapped my arms around him delicately in embrace. His scent enveloped around me. I had to be careful not to squeeze him too tight – but just enough to give him the comfort he needed. The thirst was just as powerful as it always had been – and yet my will to fight it intensified. There wasn't any other option. I'd made my choice, no matter how selfish and irresponsible that choice may be.

Nathan melted into my grasp. I could hear his heart rate slowly ease; his breathing relaxed. The warmth _radiating_ from him heated me to my very core. His thoughts focused on my scent while he buried his face in my chest. Was he hiding something from me?

_Safe…_

"What are you thinking?" Even when he wasn't blocking his thoughts they were incredibly difficult to read.

"I thought you could read my thoughts?" He said, not looking up from my chest.

"You seem to have an uncanny ability to leave me in the dark" I smiled.

"This is the safest I've ever felt." He whispered, so quiet a human probably wouldn't have heard it.

Was he suicidal? Apparently he has _no_ sense of self-preservation, he was in the grasp of the predator of all predators and felt _safe_. Utterly foolish. My posture must have changed. If Nathan had done anything since I'd met him, it was prove to me that I wasn't nearly in control as I had once thought. Of course he noticed. I had less than a second to think of a reply

Nathan ascended from my chest to look at me in the eyes; the soreness from the tears disappearing from his face as quickly as they'd appeared. Something so small…and yet so very unhuman…

"Did I say something?" Concern thick in his voice.

The truth? The truth was very rarely the _preferable_ answer, any human would be partial to the lie I lived. The beautiful and very deep lie. 'He isn't all human' I reminded myself, and took the risk.

"You are in the most danger when you are _with_ me…" I tried with great difficulty to keep the sorrow out of my tone – I knew I failed.

"You won't hurt me." He said with unyielding confidence.

"Didn't you see how close I was to losing control earlier?" Nathan was perceptive – surely he knew why I had reacted in such a way.

"But you didn't."

"That isn't the point."

"The point is, it doesn't matter." Nathan said. How quickly sadness turned into irritation with him.

"_It doesn't matter?_" I hissed – pulling him away.

"It doesn't matter." Nathan rebelled indignantly.

_Don't pull away_ he whined. He gave me a pleading look, keeping his eyes wide enough while still managing to furrow his brow. Nathan seemed to have perfected the technique, and knew he had won the battle before it even started. I smiled in defeat, being angry at him seemed impossible.

"Promise me something." I said, giving him the full weight of my gaze.

"Anything" he blurted out. _Shouldn't have said that_.

I ignored it, I wouldn't reprimand him for his thoughts.

"Never think like that again…"

_Well I can't lie…_before he started thinking in Cantonese again. I'd already ordered tapes that would hopefully help me learn Cantonese – would be my 13th language, I can't imagine it being too difficult. But why did he say he literally can't lie? It seemed like a bizarre way to phrase things.

He looked at me and smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "You don't need to worry about that."

Dodging the answer _again_. I suppose I have no choice but to phrase it so he can't avoid the question. Nathan was unnaturally opposed to lying.

"You seem to be very capable of avoiding uncomfortable subjects." I let the suspicion echo in my voice.

Nathan fidgeted slightly on the dirt ground hoping that I would just drop the subject. He wouldn't be so lucky, Nathan didn't know how stubborn I could be…

"Why can't you lie?"

Straight-forward, I _would_ have an answer.

"Sidhe don't lie." Nathan answered, and I knew this conversation was over.

"Later?" I asked, unleashing my own pouty gaze. I'd never really had to resort to such tactics, but was fairly confident that he wouldn't be able to resist.

"Fine." He snapped.

Nathan rubbed his arms to maintain a level of warmth. How hadn't I thought of this earlier? It was early November, probably 50 degrees outside and he'd been sitting here for at least two hours. No jacket, just a sweater. Nathan really was insistent on testing his mortality.

"Lets get you inside? Its cold out." I suggested and stood a moment later holding my hands out to him. He took them both welcomly while I pulled him up, careful not to pull too fast and dislocate his shoulder.

Even if he wasn't completely human, he was just as fragile. I would never be able to lose control with him - even for a second. In the end though, it didn't even matter. I wouldn't have any other alternative…his humanity was a part of him that I loved just as much as the rest of him, and I wouldn't take that away.

"Let me carry you." I demanded.

"No."

I concentrated on the warmth of his hand on mine while we walked at a glacial pace toward my house. Nathan and I walked in silence, neither of us thinking of anything in particular. The quiet was a relief, there was no crisis we had to deal with; a welcome change.

"Nathan?"

"Yea?"

I hesitated – even though I'd read about it thousands of times – no book can fully describe the fear that was deep in my throat before I said those very precious words.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

At that moment, I swore that as long as I existed in this unnatural life, that I would love and protect Nathan with all of my being.


	9. Public

_As promised this chapter is like the others. I'm trying to play with the pacing a bit more - I think I was focusing too heavily on the mundane so people may be getting bored. The changes may not show just yet - but will in the next couple of chapters._

_Enjoy! And Please review!_

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**Nathan**

To say that these past two days have been interesting would be an epic understatement.

A date with the world's sexiest vampire, getting nearly killed by that sexy vampire's adopted brother, (Jasper wasn't nearly as terrifying as my Aunt) and dealing with Aunt Clarice, who was going through conniptions during my absence. It took me the rest of the day to finally convince Edward that I was both mentally and physically capable of returning home. Only after several checkups from Carlisle and much begging was I _allowed_ to go home.

Apparently my 'abduction' had attracted attention as far as the Seattle news networks. When Alice went to get me new changes of clothes, she also had the fun task of setting up my room to make it look like an abduction. Granted, there wasn't much to do, the room was already torn apart from the night before. Fights between immortals do tend to get a bit messy.

I was surprised at the relief in my aunt's face when I limped into the house. She rushed over to me and nearly suffocated me in a tight bear hug. There wasn't much time for kisses and hugs –the police chief, Officer Swan was called in immediately. Following him were other cops that I could tell weren't quite townies from the questions they asked. It wasn't really a surprise – small town police weren't really trusted with high profile cases like mine had become. Well, atleast that's what _Law & Order _taught me.

I rehearsed my story at Edward's countless times. This was easier said than done – we had to come up with a solid story, supported by evidence, without me lying. Initially they all seemed frustrated with my constant rejections to their plans, but Edward must have explained something to them to them without my knowing, because they became understanding after about the 15th rejection.

I suppose I'm technically _capable_ of lying. However it is one of the only true taboos that we have as a culture. Out right lies are forbidden. There was no governing power, or anyone to punish us, but I guess faeries are a superstitious lot. In this world there were a lot of dark things that hid in the closets of not only children, but apparently both Vampires and Fey alike. My mother always explained how we must never lie – if we do we are risking a fate worse than death. Sure I didn't really believe it, but it was so thoroughly reinforced into my mentality that these white lies were second nature. Plus, I wasn't going to be the first to test the worse-than-death theory.

When the police asked me what happened – I told them I was abducted – Truth.

Of course it didn't remain that simple. Officer Swan was easily to misguide and distract. By the end of my 'interrogation' I was the one asking the questions. However the big-town police were much more zealous in their pursuit to find my abducter.

"They were mistaken what type of person I was. People assume I come from a rich family just because I lived in Hong Kong."

That is where the real art of these white-lies exists. People do assume I come from a rich family, but that wasn't the assumption Jasper had made. Of course I wasn't going to tell them that.

Eventually the police wanted except for a description of the intruder – I vaguely, and I mean _very_ vaguely described Jasper. Old, blonde, and short with dark eyes were my primary adjectives. Jasper was quite old – however I was pretty confident the police and I didn't have the same perspective of _old_.

It was a Wednesday morning now. 7:50 am to be exact. Normally I would just be waking up – but I'd been up since 6:30. If my complexion wasn't naturally perfect regardless of how much sleep I got, there would be dark eyes for sure. I'd only gotten a couple of hours of sleep – and most of that had been tossing and turning. Too many things were going through my head from the past couple of days, go figure.

I probably would have been able to get more sleep if I hadn't received a text message at 12:14 am stating :

_I still owe you that ride. I'll be there at 8:00_

It was from Edward. I'd probably checked the message atleast fifty times since I received it, waiting for myself to wake up from the dream, it had to be a dream? Right? I still haven't, and I hope I never wake up from this dream.

. I couldn't help but wonder what Alice had thought of my wardrobe while I began to casually pick out my clothes. Out of all of my possessions I wished Alice hadn't gone through, it would be my closet. If I had to guess – there was atleast 1 million dollars worth of designer clothing in my closet.

My mother was immortal, beautiful, and had a natural ability to inspire those around her. She was more Sidhe than me – because of this she had much more Sidhe features which happened to be coveted by all women in the fashion industry. Tall, skinny, and a flawless complexion.

She'd taken to designing clothes around 40 years ago and was now on the same level as Marc Jacobs, Louis Vuitton, Yves Saint Lauren, and all of the other iconic powerhouses of the fashion-world. With her status it was only normal that I received a plethora of clothes from every corner of the fashion spectrum. This wasn't something I was particularly ashamed of…but I didn't want Edward to know the type of place I came from. I didn't change my last name before coming to Forks without reason.

If I dressed to my mood this morning – it would have every color imaginable in some awful warm hodgepodge. Unfortunately, I was sure that I would be receiving much more attention than was welcome because of my somewhat-false abduction. So, black seemed to be the perfect choice.

I opted for a pair of skinny-leg black jeans, a generic grey tshirt that clung to my frail frame and a leather jacket that was probably Gucci. In Hong Kong this outfit would have been appropriate attire for most occasions. The circles that I frequented in HK you stood out more for dressing poorly than dressing over the top. Leaving those types of expectations was one of the things that had made me most excited about a small town like Forks. Even in this all-black, plain outfit, I was sure to stand out in Forks.

I stopped with my little melodrama at the sound of a honk outside my window. Rushing to the window, my entire spirit immediately rose at the sight of his silver Volvo parked in my driveway. So it wasn't all a dream after all

Forgetting about all of my worries I put on my sunglasses and ran out the door, schoolbooks in hand. I looked up at the cloudy sky – it wasn't raining yet but probably would be by the time school was out. I opened up the door and slid in his car, hitting the seat a bit hard in my rush.

His ocher eyes were all for me. Edward had a small smile on his face that took my breath away. I'm not sure I'd ever get used to how beautiful he was. I simply sat there dumbfounded. I couldn't remember what I'd been planning to say, or if I had even planned anything to say. I couldn't remember my name..

"Good morning. How are you?" he mused.

_Nate. Say something._ I growled to myself.

"Hi." I said lamely.

I shook my head and told myself to focus, quietly thankful that he wasn't able to hear how very little was going on in my thoughts at that very moment.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Quite well." He nodded and put the keys in the ignition. The engine came to life with a dull humming while he backed out of my driveway in a fluid motion with just one hand. For once I was glad that I lived far from the school, I wanted to prolong this car ride as long as I could.

"I have some questions." He said happily.

Of course he did. So did I.

"Shoot"

"What's your favorite color?" Edward ignored the road and looked to me while asking, his topaz eyes felt like they were burning into me. although the car never deviated even a fraction of an inch from its intended path. He seemed thoroughly absorbed in his question which made me want to laugh – it seemed so bizarre.

My favorite color? Random. Easy enough to answer I guess.

"Black."

"Why?" He demanded less than a second after my reply.

"Um…It can either fade into the background or demand attention. It always has a different personality." What a stupid answer. I probably sounded insane.

His eyes scanned me up and down carefully – smiling smugly to himself.

"What?" I asked defensively and looked down at what he could have been staring at.

"You look nice."

The compliment made turn a bright shade of crimson before I could suppress it. Normally it would have taken just one mental image of me without any the dull pink that I knew was covering my face and ears. I couldn't concentrate. "You look nice" echoed over and over in my head – I was lost to his face an words. My pulse increased to adrenaline pumped through my veins, causing me to become light headed. All from one simple remark …Edward must have no idea the affect he had on me. If he did he would probably go running.

"Thanks" I said sheepishly, looking down from his gaze trying not to smile – even though my quiet reply seemed to just reinforce his grin.

"You have quite a… vault of clothes Alice tells me."

"Its not a _vault_"

"It takes a lot to impress Alice. One of her hobbies is to constantly reinvent our wardrobe. She was…very impressed." He said – his tone was implying that he wanted to know more.

I sighed, "You're not going to let me avoid this are you?"

"Nope" he said smugly. How could I say no to him anyway? I probably couldn't…

"Have you heard of Eliziah Ayre?" I asked somewhat apprehensively, secretly hoping he had no idea who she was so this conversation could be over.

Edward paused while in thought. Until replying with confidence "Yes."

Ug.

"She's my mom." I gave in reluctantly

"Interesting." He paused for a moment before continuing shooting off another question.

"What's she like?"

I laughed unintentionally. Describing my mother was easier said than done, the first words that came to mind were controlling, ambitious, brilliant, and ruthless. None of which were particularly motherly words.

'She is very Sidhe' would be the most accurate statement, but I had a hunch that wouldn't really mean anything to Edward…

I liked the color questions better.

"She's really strong and independent. Very used to getting whatever she wants. I think she comes off as harsh at first, but she is an incredibly warm person…She loves giving – its probably why she chose fashion. When raising me she wanted to shape me more like her….didn't seem to work out that well though old habits die hard for our kind." I grinned. I missed my mom. Maybe I would give her a call soon – although she was probably swamped…HK fashion week being only a month away.

"Do you have similar…features?"

"She's more Sidhe looking, if that's what you mean." I said trying to keep the envy out of my voice. "But we have the same eyes."

"Why are your eyes that color?" I asked while looking into his eyes – ready for my brain cells to start slowly fading.

"They turn this color because we only hunt animals."

His explanation brought the images of the first day I'd seen the Cullens to mind. I remember being so sure that they were Sidhe. At the very least _fey_. Their eyes weren't human…I was very wrong in my assumptions. Not that it mattered, this was better than I'd ever imagined. Something must have shown on my face – and of course Edward wouldn't let that go.

"Why?"

"Nothing, its stupid" I said dismissively.

"Nathan…"

I sighed – there really wasn't a point of resisting. I knew I'd give in eventually.

"I thought you were Sidhe when I first met saw you guys….the eyes." I tilted my head toward him and looked down. Embarrassed at my own ignorance.

Edward laughed without censure. The sweet sound of it made a shiver run down my spine.

"Jerk" I pouted, which made his laugher continue.

The interrogation continued for the rest of the short car ride. I was so focused on Edward and his questions that I didn't notice the car had been parked until he said, "We'll be late for class if we stay in here much longer."

I sighed "I'd rather stay in here."

"We could, if you'd like." He smiled to his eyes – but there was a hint of something in them that I couldn't quite place.

I shook my head. "Lets just go"

I slipped out of the car apprehensively. The car ride seemed too short –I was relieved to be spared from his questions – but leaving him right now was the last thing I wanted. He took his place next to me and we both treaded through the parking lot. I'd put my books in a bad and slung it around my shoulder so I could put my hands in my pockets. The both of us walked in silence through the packs of people that typically gathered in the parking lot before class.

The walk through the student-infested lot was perfectly innocent, but I couldn't help but notice that nearly _everyone_ was staring at us. Expressions of complete shock and confusion seemed consistent with the entire student body during what would normally be a very short walk. There was no way that they could expect anything from the way that we were carrying ourselves. Edward and I had an unspoken understanding that we needed to be tactful with our relationship.

"Is it just me, or is everyone staring?" I asked Edward quietly, not daring to look at him. I was already nervous. The last thing I needed was to be mesmerized by his gaze and drop my illusion. That would be bad.

Edward leaned into me and whispered in a voice that made me want to writhe from the sound of it. "Yes, they are."

"_Why_?" I hissed.

I was grateful for the image of large glass doors of building C towering in front of me. Edward and I treaded up the cement steps, he went several paces ahead and opened the door for me, with the same smile that I would never grow tired of seeing. This time it wasn't just me seeing it though – probably half of Forks was staring at this very second. I didn't care though – his eyes were just for me – the rest of world seemed so insignificant when we were together.

As perfect as this whole situation was, I couldn't avoid the aching suspicion that we should be more discreet.. How could we possibly be more secretive though? Just _walking_ together today – and I had a feeling that an uproar was slowly building.

"Maybe we should be more subtle?" I questioned.

Edward's expression remained neutral. I leaned against the wall to my first period class. He stared at me unmoving. He was annoyed, why?

"What's wrong?" I tried to break the silence – taking my sunglasses off so he could see the concern in these fake eyes of mine.

"What are you thinking?" He tapped his foot, Edward never seemed to make movements that were so…_human_. He must be upset about something…

"I don't want to put you in a bad position…" I said, looking down.

Edward shrugged and looked at me with an array of emotions in his eyes. I wanted so badly to understand but couldn't seem to grasp it.

"I'll be fine."

"What if you put yourself in danger?"

"You're the one in danger…even being near me." He growled.

"We've been over this." I sighed.

"I'm going to keep on reminding you…hopefully it will eventually sink in."

"Don't hold your breath." I muttered rebelliously

Only now did I realize how close we were. His face was mere inches from mine, I could feel Edward's chilling aura lightly brushing my skin due to our proximity. I should have probably told him to back off a bit. Well, if I was someone else, who was actually disciplined and careful. I always had a hard time not giving into my desires…

"Why won't you let me hear your thoughts?" He demanded – still filled with chagrin.

"Because I can't hear yours."

"That isn't a reason." He said through pursed lips.

"Reason enough." I said – hoping my bemused tone wouldn't irritate him.

His eyes warmed up and he hesitated a moment "I need to go."

I eyed my cell phone. Class started in less than a minute. "Okay, see you." I said – trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. I watched him walk off without looking back. I had to fight the urge to wave pathetically while he disappeared into the crowd. Yes, a crowd. _Holy shit_. I'd need to pay more attention to my surroundings next time…it was too easy with Edward to pay attention to the little world we created when we were together.

I turned my head to take a second look at his perfection, the look of horror clear on my face. I couldn't be sure, but it looked like he was grinning as he walked off. Of course he knew there was a crowd of people; he'd pay for ignoring that fact. Once I recovered from my embarrassment I walked into homeroom prepared for the very slow class. Anything without Edward seemed completely pointless and boring to me now.

In my few days that I've actually attended Forks High School, it never really bothered me that everyone stared at me. As long as they weren't talking to me I could easily ignore it. Now it seemed to be a different creature entirely – the hair on the back of my neck stood on end while I went to my seat. The stares that were undoubtedly focusing on me. Maybe it was my clothes. Probably not. Apparently walking with Edward Cullen was enough to attract school-wide attention. I should have guessed.

Mr. Weiss was hastily writing the title Catcher and the Rye on the blackboard.

Oh shit.

Between the Vampire attacks, flirting, and being interrogated by both Edward and the police I had _completely_ forgotten that we were supposed to start reading Catcher and the Rye. Much to my satisfaction; we read the book my freshman year of High School in Hong Kong.

"Hey Nate." Eric greeted me. Something was hidden in his voice…Of course! The news had been airing me repeatedly for the past two days as a recent abductee. Or was this about Edward? Probably about the news, atleast I hoped. I can take questions about being abducted; that would take a lot less clever wording.

"Yo." I grinned sincerely. Any second now.

"So tell me what happened!" he said excitedly in Cantonese. Probably thinking I'd be more likely to answer if no one else could understand our conversation.

"The news covered it pretty thoroughly" I replied in English.

"Come on dude! Spill the dirt!"

"Later" I ended the conversation. Mr. Weiss started the class by asking a random poor girl about the premise of the book out of the blue. It was clear she hadn't read either. Yes, this was going to be a very long class.

If I paid close enough attention to the lecture I would hopefully remember the book from three years ago. That plan didn't work…

Something bizarre happened. It was like a day-dream, except unlike the dreamworld that I typically create during class, this hit me like a truck. One moment I was trying (with great difficulty) to focus on the contents of the book, the next I was seeing something very far away.

_Edward's icy touch on my face brought thrills through my entire body. The two of us were in an impossibly intimate position. Our bodies were completely entwined while we rested on an unfamiliar bed. There was a smile on my face while I repositioned to rest my head on his unmoving and muscled chest._

_Viewing Edward in this somewhat out-of-body perspective made me realize I'd never fully grasped his beauty. Although I'm sure everyone would find Edward, reincarnate of Adonis, attractive…I was confident that it was something different for me. Every single characteristic of his, both physical and mental were what I had always perceived as the 'ideal.' I held onto him like I would never let go. His arms wrapped around me, I watched from a third-person perspective while I shuddered in pleasure._

_Edward opened his mouth to speak but the sound that emitted from his flawless lips was muffled…_

Mr. Weiss was looking at me expectantly while the rest of the class had began to fidget uncomfortably in the silence. Had he asked a question?

"Er..Can you repeat the question?" I asked while recovering my bizarre daydream.

"Who did Holden have a flashback about in the lobby of the hotel?"

Ugh. Couldn't he have asked something more generic?

"Uh…" Stalling while I quickly scanned through my memories of the book. Who would Holden have a daydream about? I wasn't positive, but Jane could be the only answer. He'd thought about her throughout the book. Yea, it had to be Jane.

"Jane?" I answered, albeit not confidently.

That must have been the right answer because Mr. Weiss went to lecture about Holden's grasp of reality; or lack thereof. I glanced at the clock desperately – 10 more minutes.

_What was that_? I couldn't escape the unfamiliar vision that I'd just experienced. Was it just a daydream or something more? I had a feeling whatever took place in my dream wasn't the present. The sense of time was really unclear…

I dismissed the thought. It wasn't worth mentioning.

Only 100 minutes to go before I'd have time with Edward. My heart felt like it would jump out of my skin at the mere thought of it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to hold onto this feeling for very long, but instead had to focus on keeping the shine out of my skin.

Even though I was proud of being Sidhe and would never give it up, times like this reminded me of how _abnormal_ it really was… it made me wish I was fully human. I wondered if Edward felt the same?

Hiding didn't seem so bad if Edward was with me.


	10. Rebels

_Okay, So for those of you who have this on story alert, you'll notice that you just read this chapter. I got a couple of messages and people felt like the chapters were a little long so I just split them into two, so feel free to skip this if you already read it. But make sure to skim it and be sure so you don't miss anything! Sorry for the problem, I originally thought longer chapters were preferable, but I can see that they are probably a little draining._

_So much is happening in the next couple of chapters - I can't wait to share it._

_Enjoy!_

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**Edward **

At last. I'd found something to break the tedium of my day. Nathan remained unmoven when it came to letting me read his thoughts. Because of this I was forced to become a voyeur to his every movement. Thankfully no teacher called on me, today may have been the first time I'd miss a question. Every action of his from the way he walked to how he became flushed whenever anyone mentioned my name left me feeling so satisfied.

No place but Forks would gossip about two people driving to school together draw more attention than an abduction. Nathan had carefully avoided the topic for the past two classes, although he wouldn't be nearly as successful with Jessica Stanley. She was planning on asking him to the school dance today, she had actually thought of it as a welcome back _gift_. How would he reply? Would he say yes?

Depression spiraled around me. Of course he would prefer Jessica Stanley to myself, first and foremost she was a _woman_. Nathan was sure to consider our love unnatural – maybe even immoral – but most importantly… Jessica was human. His life wouldn't be in danger around her…I knew it was only a matter of time, life would be better for him, but then why wasn't I happy with the choice?

The bell echoed throughout the building. I was out the door before the rest of the class had even ascended from their seats. 4th Period – I had Calculus with Alice, and from Nathan's conversation with Mike Newton, he was heading toward painting. It took more willpower than it should have to resist meeting him in front of his next class, but I would spare him the attention for now. He was getting more than his fair share without any help from me.

I walked to building D; watching the whole way. Only my unnaturally attuned instincts kept me from walking into a wall. Alice caught up with me and we walked to class together in silence. Once we nearly reached the classroom Alice thought _You aren't going to sit with us at lunch today are you?_

"No." I grinned, allowing a genuine smile to escape my lips; a rarity when we were in school.. _He's so creepy_ a sophomore that I didn't recognize thought – carefully avoiding looking into my eyes. I was oddly comforted by this – Nathan was beginning to make me think I'd lost my ability to be terrifying! Apparently I wasn't out of practice just _yet_.

_Can I sit with you two?_ Alice asked hopefully. She wanted to sit with Nathan and I during lunch. That was a no for so many reasons. Even though my family had unparalleled self control - I couldn't help but feel protective of him. All it took was the smallest slip and Nathan would be at their mercy.

This is what I told myself – my somewhat logical and devoid of emotion reasoning – but it was clear that I just wanted him to myself. Atleast for now…calling what Nathan and I shared unconventional would be an understatement. There was still so much I didn't know, and so many questions left unanswered. It would be easier to get those answers alone

"Not yet." I reminded her quietly.

_Edward!_ She whined internally

"What would Jasper think?" I teased

Alice smiled and remained quiet for a while after taking her seat for Calculus.

_You really are different. I like it._

"Me too…."

And then class began.

Mrs. Maddox felt a thorough lecture was the best teaching method; so I was left to my devices for fifty minutes.

Nathan never mentioned that he enjoyed art. Maybe he didn't, I watched through Angela's perspective while Nathan maintained a perpetual frown. Mr. Lee was the resident art teacher at Forks High School, and developed a disliking to Nathan.

_Typical private school child – entitled, pretentious, and arrogant._ He continued on a tirade of insults while he hovered over Nathan's painting.

Nathan's watercolored rendition of a white oleander stood out amongst the others. Even the example, done by Mr. Lee, seemed to lack the same love and craftsmanship that Nathan achieved with little effort. The result seemed something created out of a fiery passion, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud in the middle of lecture when I saw his expression. I quickly tried to disguise my laugh as a cough but wasn't quite successful – earning myself a glare from Mrs. Maddox.

Nathan held his head up only with the other hand while he lazily brushed the flower onto the canvas. Mr. Lee continued to hover, watching his every movement, obviously irritated by Nathan's cryptic mood.

"You're using violet for the shadow?" Mr. Lee asked precariously.

I knew Nathan was perfectly capable of handling himself – but I couldn't avoid the urge to go and protect him from Mr. Lee's malicious intentions. In fact, Nathan being treated in such a way angered me so much I had to ball my hands into fists to contain this sudden and passionate rage.

"Yes." Nathan replied in an even voice after rebelliously dabbing an extravagant dash of violet on the canvas.

I moved back to Angela's perspective before Mr. Lee could continue with his string of angry thoughts. If someone had actually hurt him…

Forgiving Jasper was something I've been struggling with. Part of me had wanted Jasper to continue in the pain that Nathan had inflicted. I was equally intrigued by how Nathan managed to resolve the problem…

At the time, I was certain Jasper would attack and kill him. After my…hasty rescue attempt I began to understand exactly what Nathan had done. It took…a lot of work to drown out their thoughts and sounds. How on earth did sex improved Jasper's condition? I have to admit that Nathan could do something like that…it peaked my curiosity.

The depression hit me again. I would never be able to taste what the rest of my family had…sex was an impossibility. The kiss yesterday proved that… I'm not sure how I could resist such an urge. Nathan seemed to _wreak_ of a contagious sexual energy that passed onto everyone around him. Dating a human was one thing; he was a new creature entirely, no pun intended. Every urge, every desire was multiplied ten fold with him…

The bell rang.

Was I that lost in thought? These 50 minutes felt like they passed in seconds.

Lunch with Nathan…Would he expect to sit with me?

The art building was the farthest from the Cafeteria so it was no surprise that I beat Nathan there. Instead of taking my usual seat, the only place I've eaten since coming to Forks for the second time, I sat at an empty seat across the room from both of our residing tables. No one seemed to notice, but Alice warned me about the attention we were going to harbor with this little fiasco.

_He's really going through with this..._ Emmett thought.

_I hope everything works out._ Jasper's thoughts . Since Nathan have cured him of the visions Jasper had take a liking to him to nearly the extent of Alice.

And then there he was…

Wearing black made his skin appear nearly as pale as mine, even his dummed down eyecolor stood out against the blackness. His expression wasn't nearly as somber as it had been during Painting. He seemed to be relieved to be in the cafeteria, maybe even anxious. Nathan sat down with Angela and exchanged smalltalk – although he was obviously uninterested. He glanced at Alice and the rest of my family several times before he caught something in Alice's eye, pointing in my direction. Without thinking his gaze quickly turned toward me.

I grinned without thinking which earned me a smile. I could tell from just his body language he was relieved – didn't have to be able to read minds to know he'd come sit by me without any need for an invitation.

"I've got to go tell Edward something." Nathan said in almost a whisper before waving to his friends and walking in my direction. I couldn't keep the smile off my face – thankful that he was…normalized…Being so entranced infront of my family would have been embarrassing to say the least. As he came closer I couldn't mange to tune out the thoughts that were echoing throughout the cafeteria.

"Hi" Nathan beamed at me, taking his seat.

"You seem in a better mood." I mused.

"I wasn't crabby this morning was I?" Nathan asked me alarmingly.

"Not at all. But what about painting?"

He let out an exasperated groan and crossed his arms looking at me.

"Wait." He commanded.

"Hm?" I could hear the playfulness in my voice. His brow furrowed in thought, or was it faux-frustration? This boy had such an extraordinary affect on me, just his presence brought me into vivacious state; quite the juxtaposition from the apathetic Edward my family has grown accustomed to.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind!" Nathan complained

"I can't. But I can still watch you through others." I said grinning waiting for what was I was positive would be an aghast look.

"Isn't that boring for you?"

"On the contrary – it can be _incredibly_ entertaining." I said smiling while leaning a bit closer to him.

Nathan gave me an irritated glare that was quickly replaced by eagerness. "Well?"

Had I missed something? It was so troublesome having a conversation with him when I couldn't hear his thoughts. How did everyone else answer deal with these open-ended questions?

"..Hm?"

"_Why does he hate me?_" Nathan asked with such genuine malice that I laughed. Apparently he found no humor in this, so it was best that I didn't tell him that I found his anger incredibly endearing.

"You should eat, lets go stand in line." Not even trying to be subtle in my change in the subject.

Nathan apparently took my silence as victory. He didn't need to know _why_ Mr. Lee hated him, just that he actually did. This was a topic that would be best if I could avoid. There was no reason for me to explain the level of anger that Mr. Lee's thoughts had provoked – and I always said too much around Nathan. So it was safest to just ignore the topic all together.

"I can't get anything here." Nathan said, sounding vexed.

"Why? You need to eat." The boy needed to take better care of himself. A small part of me enjoyed this act, taking care of him seemed to give me another reason to stay in his life. With the danger I put him in just by being in his presence – I would need as many reasons as possible to continue this very selfish endeavor.

"I'm a vegetarian – everything they're serving today is dowsed in meat, and they don't have the salad bar."

I had no idea that he was a vegetarian. Another reminder of how little time we've been acquainted.

"Well that's a dilemma…" I teased.

"You sound like you have a solution!" Nathan remarked with false enthusiasm.

"How would you like to go out to eat next period?" Would I ever stop smiling around him? Hopefully not, our smiles seemed to provoke each other – so we were in a perpetual state of euphoria in each other's presence.

"But we have class." He said hesitantly. Initially I wasn't certain if he would ditch class because he seemed to be a studious. However, some people seem to get their grades from discipline while others it just happened naturally. I was willing to guess that Nathan was just naturally smart. That combined with a schooling system that was undoubtedly more rigorous than Forks high School – he wouldn't be opposed to missing class.

"I know."

It took me until now to realize that the two of us had been consistently leaning into each other – our faces were less than a foot apart. About fifteen seconds passed in silence.. Nathan developed that same blank look while looking into my eyes; only when the brilliant colors of his _true_ eyes appeared did I know I'd won.

"What?" He asked still a little blankfaced – his eyes returning to the dull green that he wore during school hours.

His peculiar expression forced me to laugh out loud enthusiastically which seemed to cause several heads turn. My laugh isn't something people outside of my family regularly heard – and then a typhoon of thoughts rushed toward me.

_Are they a __**thing**__? No wonder Edward won't look at any of the girls!_

Jessica Stanley, even in her thoughts she seemed completely outraged. Malevolent thoughts bellowed from her mind while she was glared at us. It seemed like we'd attracted more attention than just Jessica Stanley, because now there were more than just thoughts focused on us; but hushed whispers.

"Hey, look at Edward and Nate." I heard repeated over and over from nameless faces. I watched from others' perspective to see if Nathan and I were being so overtly romantic. We weren't even _half_ as obvious as Emmett and Rosalie, but I guess I wasn't surprised when I watched from outside myself. Not even my family had seen me be this intimate with another being.

_Can you atleast attempt to avoid having the entire school talk about you?_ Rosalie thought bitterly.

I ignored her but leaned back into my chair and casually laid my arm on the back end still grinning at Nathan.

"What's wrong?" He asked, suddenly fully aware of his surroundings again.

"We seem to be attracting a lot of attention…Your friend Jessica is ready to jump out of her chair."

"Oh god." Nathan said and leaned back on his chair just as I had, except his cheeks had turned a hue of milky pink. He was quiet for a couple of seconds; deliberating. He made his decision, and turned around to look around his shoulder first to his old table, where they had quickly whispered to each other to look down from our table, and then to my family. Unfortunately for Nathan they weren't quite as accommodating, and Rosalie shot him an icy glare.

He quickly turned around and pleaded with me "Can we go now?"

I grinned, we were guaranteed to be the focus of everyone's attention if we walked out of the cafeteria mid-way through the period…together.

I watched carefully while Nathan stood up from his seat in a fluid motion that was way too graceful for a human. He took his jacket from the chair and folded it across his arm, only to adjust his shoulder slightly without noticing. I still wasn't used to this sexual attraction that had developed between us…features that were typically something I overlooked were so…appetizing.

Nathan's shirt was tight enough to show his flat stomach that hid the muscles under the shirt carefully. His arms were just like the rest of him, slim but there was a hint of mass that I was sure would be unveiled once his shirt was off. How bizarre…these masculine features were so inviting.

_Get up Edward, everyone is watching you stare at him like a piece of meat, _Alice interjected – there was an edge of disapproval to her voice.

"What's up?" Nathan asked – addressing my grin.

"Later."

We attempted to walk out of the cafeteria nonchalantly although it seemed no one was willing to comply with our desire for privacy. The hushed whispers continued. It didn't help that the table I'd chosen was the farthest from the exit – so everyone would be able to get a glimpse of our unintentional performance.

"I thought we were being subtle?" Nathan whispered to me – careful to maintain a healthy distance, something that I was both despondent and grateful for.

"I think we gather enough attention just being ourselves…together seems to make it impossible to keep under the radar." I said, trying to hide the amusement in my voice.

"If they only knew…" Nathan said so quietly I wasn't sure if it was meant for me. He was right, two high school boys helplessly in love was a story in itself. What if one of those boys was a Vampire, and the other a faerie?


	11. Meal

_Hi everyone! So this is my first chapter after reaching 1,000 hits! Probably seems really silly but it seemed like a big deal to me ;)_

_In response to a question I got about Nathan's mortality..._

_I've been trying to keep it somewhat ambiguous, this chapter will offer a little clarity, but it will become a major theme later in the fic. Nate and his mother both believe that he is indeed mortal, but they can't be positive just yet. It'll become a lot more clear later =D_

_Enjoy!_

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**Nathan**

What a day.

My first rebellious act in Forks; ditching class. It wasn't a very studious decision; considering I already missed a day of classes because Jasper. But really, could anyone say no to Edward? I'd kill for another opportunity to be alone with Edward. It would be nice to just hang out and enjoy eachother's company without some sort of crisis looming over our heads.

I continued to answer his questions (which were getting progressively more difficult) throughout the car ride. I had a question for him but wasn't sure if it would be offensive . How did a Vampire, who hasn't eaten human food willingly in who knows how long, know a good place to eat?

"Are you really related to your Aunt?" Edward continued to question me – barely giving me time to think.

"No – I never met her until I moved to Forks."

"Then who is she?" Edward looked at me with a curiously, almost defensively – completely ignoring the road yet again. He couldn't possibly think she was dangerous?

"Not a clue. But she's harmless, and doesn't spend much time at home…No complaints here"

"Why did you come to Forks?"

That was a difficult question…

"There were a lot of reasons." I said knowing that my attempt to dodge his question would be in vain. The entire day he was absolutely relentless; not allowing me to sidestep anything while he continued with the interrogation?

"Such as…?" Edward asked grinned smugly – I couldn't help but notice the unnatural whiteness of his teeth. He was breathtaking regardless of expression, but his smile was my favorite. I'd do anything to make him smile. Whenever I saw him happy it made every risk worth it…it was hard to believe that those perfect teeth were actually razor sharp weapons. Just looking at Edward I usually had a hard time believing that he was a predator. Maybe that's why he was so effective?

"I wanted to run away. It felt like I was always hiding in Hong Kong, little did I know I'd have to hide even more in Forks…until." I let my sentence trail off while I thought of Edward. If I hadn't met Edward, I would still be hiding in this dismal city.

"We met." Edward answered for me – his eyes mirroring the same emotion in mine

"Do you like Forks?"

There was something deeper than the surface in the question. Luckily, I knew my answer without having to think about it.

"Now I do." I said – unable to keep a sheepish smile from my lips.

Luckily the questions ceased when we our route became clear. The Volvo hummed quietly while he drove up the paved expanse of the forest toward his house.

"Do you need to get something…?" I asked confused.

"Yes. We need to get you something to eat." He grinned.

"I'm confused."

"Nathan, I'm going to cook you something." Edward said like it was obvious. Was it? I couldn't help but picture Edward in an apron and chef's hat. Sometimes my imagination was a little too much.

"But …you don't like food…" I tried to explain without offending him. He rolled his eyes.

"My sense of smell is much more refined than yours." He said smugly.

"We'll see" I challenged. Knowing Edward, he was probably an amazing cook – he was perfect at everything. Was he just naturally gifted, or was it years worth of practice…at…everything? Probably both.

"How old are you?" I asked, grateful that I finally had an opportunity to ask something.

"91"

The number wasn't what gave me a deep aching feeling in my stomach. I could feel panic edging closer and closer while I pieced everything together. My mother was somewhere around 135 years old and didn't look a day over 25. But she was my _mother_. How could Edward have any sort of feelings for me? Didn't he just see me as a child?

The car stopped and I was aware of myself again. Edward was looking at me with a very controlled expression. He was waiting for me to say something, his eyes carrying a weight that I didn't understand.

"What are you thinking?" I asked taking his hand in mine. The cold touch of his skin was familiar enough to make me comfortable discussing what I'd just considered.

"You're going to jump out of the car and run screaming. It was only a matter of time before I said something would terrify you." Edward explained, his tone just as safe as his expression.

If I wasn't so shocked that he misinterpreted my emotions I would probably have laughed. He was thinking that I was _scared_? When would he stop thinking of me like I was human? If I could adapt to the fact that he was _different_; then he should be capable of giving me the same luxury

"Uh, I'm not scared."

"Your face said it all Nathan…" He said with that same small grin I loved – but this time it was a shield to mask what he was really feeling.

"My mom is significantly older than you, and looks about twenty-five. It doesn't bother me."

"What is it then?" He snapped

I sighed and looked down – letting my attention to drift from my worries to the leather interior of the Volvo. It was silly, completely irrational, but I couldn't avoid believing it.

"Nathan, please." He asked me with such desperation that my body physically reacted to his anguish. It took more effort than it should have to avoid clinging to him; hoping that our body contact would mend his hurt feelings.

"I…" I paused.

"You must see me as a child….so juvenile." I said, shaking my head at the sudden emotion that rushed through me; leaving me light headed.

I sat with an aghast expression when Edward _laughed_ at my confession. What on earth could be funny about this? The misery that had been consuming me the past minute switched over to irritation; something that happened to me more often than I'd like to admit

"I tell you that I'm nearly a century old, and you're afraid I won't _like_ you?" Trying to keep the amusement out of his face.

"Don't I seem immature to you? I mean, I'm just a child compared to you" I asked without looking into his topaz eyes. I knew the moment I looked into that flawless face that this moment would be over, I'd just surrender under his god-like beauty.

His cold hand brushed against my cheek and pulled my face in his direction so I was forced to look into his eyes. My heart quickened while he moved in closer and closer until we connected in a soft, chaste kiss. It took more discipline than I knew I had to keep the kiss innocent before he pulled away smiling.

"I wouldn't change a single thing about you.

"You didn't answer my question." I said somberly, although it was hard to pout when my sadness was so quickly replaced by the high that often occurred when Edward told me how he felt about it. It still seemed like such a dream – I hope I never wake up.

Edward laughed sweetly opening the door – and before his door closed he was at my side and had the door opened with a smile on his face. I didn't do a double take…more like a triple take until I got out of the door and took his hand in mine.

"Nifty." I remarked before walking into the house with him – thrilled to be hand in hand.

Edward rolled his eyes before commenting "Your reactions aren't _normal_" while I slipped my boots off on a placemat in one swift motion.

"Maybe not for a human." I shrugged.

"Speaking of that…" Edward grinned. I knew he was up to no good. This face meant two things – he was about to do something that I'd probably love, and hate myself for being so enamored by whatever effortless motion he was going to commit.

His arms wrapped around my waist in a smooth motion – I mirrored his action instinctively.

"I like seeing the _real _you."

It took me a bit to get what that meant, but the second I understood I dropped my illusions; feeling completely at ease. The Cullen's house was an escape for me in more way than one. Although the only other time I'd been here it was a much different environment, I felt absolutely safe in this fortress. It probably wasn't very smart feeling at ease here – considering it was a house of _predators_, but I felt normal here; something that I'd never really felt before.

After over a century of wearing 'shine' as she called it (illusion was apparently too fantastical sounding) it didn't take my mother the slightest bit of effort to maintain her facade. Because of this she expected something similar from me. But with the Cullens…I could be myself and they…well, Edward would accept me.

"Better?" I smiled.

"Absolutely." And kissed me again before we walked upstairs. Even the priceless art that was plastered the walls up the spiral staircase couldn't distract me from Edward's presence

Once we reached the kitchen I saw Esme who was seated at the antique dining table, reading an old looking leather-bound book. She looked up and beamed toward us feigning surprise; I knew she'd probably heard us before we even walked into the house.

"Hi you two. What are you doing out of school?" She asked in a faux disapproving tone

"Nathan couldn't have anything in the cafeteria…So I'm going to make something." Edward grinned.

"Oh, Why's that?"

"He's a vegetarian too" Edward grinned

"Exciting! You know, I think this is the first time we have an excuse to use the kitchen." Esme joked while smiling at me.

"So you actually keep food here?" I asked.

"Of course. Just in case someone were to come over we need to seem…normal." Edward explained, ushering me to the seat where I sat down a next to Esme. He walked away from me, somewhat hesitantly, and began to prepare something in several pots and pans.

Edward was preoccupied finely cutting some ingredient that I couldn't smell or see. Everything was easy for Edward, he could have held a conversation in the midst of his culinary display without exerting any effort. But he didn't. At first I drifted toward the unlikely – he was upset with me for some unknown reason. But then it dawned on me. Either Esme wanted to talk to me – or he wanted me to talk to her. Atleast that's what I would do in his situation.

"What were you reading Esme?" I asked in an interested tone, glancing at Edward briefly for a second, I could have sworn he had a small grin on his face although his back was turned.

She feigned modesty at the question. Yep, Edward certainly had something planned. "Its actually a folklore book. You inspired me to read more about Sidhe."

I couldn't help but show the interest . I was aware of most stories – so I wondered which rendition she was reading.

"Oh cool. You know you could just ask me if you have any questions" I grinned

Esme responded seeing through my question from the beginning. "I figured since I'm sitting across the table from one, it might be best to brush up on my history."

"Find anything interesting?" .

Esme touched her fingertip to her lips pensively. The act seemed to make her appear even younger than she usual, she could have easily passed for 18.

"Do humans really grow obsessed after just seeing you?" She asked curiously.

"Um…I can see that being true. If I were to ever be…intimate with a human they develop a rather…intense attraction to me, and I'm not full Sidhe. People react more strongly to my mother sometimes. I think it depends"

My hands rubbed against the textures of the hard wood dining table. Okay so maybe I welcomed her questioning – but now that it started I felt a little uncomfortable of what she might find out. I wasn't exactly _hiding_ something, but there were many things that are either a.) untrue or b.) I wished they weren't true. It also seemed so taboo to answer these questions, I still wasn't used to being so open.

"So you could you ever be involved with a human?" Esme asked – but her question was obviously for Edward, not me. Through my peripherals I could see Edward stiffen for a second and then quickly continue his knife work.

"I don't think its an option. They'd end up acting more like a slave than a lover…" This was something I'd put a lot of thought into throughout my life. Every single time I was intimate with a human it had ended very badly. Until I met Edward I'd accepted the fact that I would never have the luxury of falling in love, just as my mother realized.

The silence bothered me. Did I kill the mood?

"Then its very lucky you and Edward met…In Forks of all places! We're so glad to have you here Nathan…" she said from the heart, extending her hand to cover mine. Her skin had the same temperature as Edward's. There was also a roughness that I couldn't really explain…It was like when you touched a marble statue, although the surface may have been smooth you also knew it was hard and inmalleable.

I opened myself up to Edward. There were emotions running through me that I didn't understand – all I wanted was for Edward to know that I was feeling whatever high this was.

I turned around and Edward was just there. He took the seat next to me and I could smell the meal in front of me. The citrus scent was juxtaposed to the rest of the house that maintained a very clean smell. I glanced at the delicately decorated bowl; its contents looked to be some sort of citrus salad with spinach, pine nuts, and plenty of other ingredients I couldn't pick out. It both looked and smelled incredible; and he'd only spent maybe fifteen minutes making it. How had I doubted is culinary ability? Of course it would taste great; nothing Edward did was less than perfect.

Before I could eat my meal I turned my head from Esme to Edward, Esme's hand still on mine. My thoughts stopped for a split second while I took in his unnatural beauty.

_They accept me..…_ I thought enthusiastically, perfectly aware Edward would hear it. I wasn't quite used to monitoring my thoughts – actually – I would probably _never_ get used to censuring them. Because of this they drifted toward something much more morose.

I'd never been accepted anywhere. I didn't hold any sort of grudge against my mother for the way she'd raised me. I knew she didn't know how to react to my apparent mrotality. It was something that she'd never known; and would never understand. Sure there was a chance that I was immortal – but everything seemed to be working against me. And none of us were willing to do the only actual test to be certain. Because of that I would always be more human than sidhe – I was temporary. And yet I would never be able to live in peace with humans. Until I met Edward I was convinced a life of isolation would be the only option.

He merely smiled at me. His topaz eyes were like liquid gold, the warmth radiating from them was warmer than his physical body would ever be. I'm not sure how I knew, but he wanted me to tell Esme how I felt. I think?

"It'll make her happy." He mused, pouring me a glass of water from an elegant pitcher.

I turned my head toward Esme, leaning in a way that I was both facing her and having my shoulder graze Edward's in the same position.

I was never good with words…and sat there struggling with something that sounded incredibly cheesy even to me while Esme smiled at me expectantly.

"Well…I've never been accepted _anywhere_. At least, for how I really am…" I paused for a second, hoping the words would come to me. "It just means so much to me, I really appreciate how welcoming you've been."

I took my hand back in a smooth and casual motion to avoid any potential awkwardness. A human would have felt uncomfortable from such a prolonged touch. It didn't bother me – but would it bother a vampire? After all, they were human at one point of time. That was only one reason…I also wanted to be able to touch Edward freely.

"Nate…" She shortened name. Most people, actually, everyone used Nate rather than Nathan. Except for Edward of course. When she said it though there was an echo of familiarity that made me significantly more comfortable with the conversation.

"You're part of the family now. And we're _all_ thrilled to have you here with us."

"Thanks, Esme." I said smiling at her, hoping that the simple words would show my genuine gratitude. She returned the smile – and then I turned to look at Edward.

"It looks great." I commented. The salad looked so beautiful part of me didn't even want to eat it.

"Eat" Edward demanded; pushing the fork toward me.

I took a bit and relished how the citrus played on my pallette. I'd skipped breakfast again today – my stomach was too filled with butterflies this morning to even fathom eating something. I started to pick at the salad faster than was probably polite, but knew that Edward didn't mind.

_It tastes as good as it smells_. I commented. Him being able to read my thoughts could be quite convenient. It made avoiding eating with my mouth full a much easier obstacle.

"Told you" he teased

_I wonder if my blood tastes as good at it smells_…My thoughts were never a safe place to be. I instantly stiffened and so did Edward. I was ready for him to be offended at my grotesque train of thought but he just grinned thoughtfully and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek that left a tingling after-thought.

"I'm sure it tastes even _better_. But fortunately for you…I have no intention of finding out."

"No complaints here" I teased – my mouth somewhat full from a rather large bite of spinach and artichokes.

"Can you…eat human food?" I asked hesitantly.

"Remember, today is my day for questions." He reminded me.

I fought a groan but instead looked into his eyes and watched his features soften into the warmth that told me I'd won.

"Just one?" I pleaded

Edward rolled his eyes at me and took the fork out of my hand before I could even react and took a bite from the salad. He looked like he even enjoyed it.

"Did it taste good?"

"Awful. But its something we need to do on occasion, even though we all hate it."

I took another bite and he smiled, but I wasn't sure why.

I'd almost finished my salad at this point. He watched me in silence while I mentally organized all of the things I would have to do in the next couple of days. Ugh, there was _a lot_ to do. A paper for English, a study guide for an exam in biology, and some French homework. None of it would really be much work. The French would probably take ten minutes at the most; I'd been spending most of my summer Holidays in France since I was born. I was originally miffed at the fact I was only in French 3, only to find out French 3 was as high as the curriculum went. Gotta love small towns.

"Why France?" Edward asked curiously. He allowed his hand to trace the contour of my neck down to my spine. His cold fingers barely touched me but served as a powerful distraction. I gazed into his topaz eyes when everything went blank – I couldn't focus on anything but the grazing of his fingers against my flesh and those ocher eyes of his.

"Uh..what?" He had asked a question? Right?

"Why do you go to France every summer?" Edward grinned, maintaining the same trail of his hand. He knew _exactly_ what he was doing, and just the fact that he knew how he affected me made heat rise right up to my cheeks.

Still blank.

"Edward." I said in a warning tone.

"Hmm?" He grinned – he didn't even have to hear my thoughts to know what was going on inside my head.

"I can't focus." I admitted. As I did such I could feel the redness growing even stronger before I began to visually suppressing it. The blush would be gone now, hopefully.

"You know…" He whispered – his voice sounding audibly velvet, as if the smoothness of it coated my skin. "I like knowing that I affect you in such a way."

"I …like…it too…." I stammered at the coolness of his breath dancing across my neck.

Just at the peak of my light-headedness, he took my bowl out from under me and washed it within a couple of seconds. He leaned casually against the counter observing me inquisitively.

"We have the rest of the day, what would you like to do now?"

There were a lot of things I'd _like_ to do in Edward's presence. Unfortunately for me – none of those seemed possible at this point, atleast if I wanted to come out of it alive. A small obstacle, but I'm sure we could get past Edward's desire to kill me without enough effort. Eventually.

The most practical thing was homework…there was just so much. I skipped school to do homework – so much for a rebellion.

"I can take you home." He ansered almost eagerly.

Did he want me to leave? I could feel my stomach drop at the thought of it.

"Of course not…" Edward said incredulously. "I always want you here…"

"Forever then." I said in a casual tone – even though the words weren't casual at all. I was serious.

"As long as its good for you." He grinned, but I didn't like the sound of that.

"Can I do my homework here. I like it here…with you." I had tacked on the last part of the sentence just to make myself clear. Although the 'with you' section felt implied. Of course I wanted Edward with me, my life would be fulfilled if I never had to leave him ever again.

"Of course. I have some to do as well." He said soft enough that made me want to go up to him and hug him with all my might. If I'd hugged a human with all my strength I would probably end up breaking a rib or two; I bet Edward would barely even feel it.

So I did, minus the rib-breaking part. I stood up from the table and walked toward him. I could feel my pulse hasten as he got closer and closer. It was like I was moving in slow motion; those couple of feet felt like forever. After reaching him my two arms curled around his firm torso and I rested my head against his chest. His arms enveloped me like a protective shield – his chin balancing on the top of my head. I was suddenly glad he was taller than me.

I took in a large breath to take in his scent. It was a cool, sweet scent that encompassed so many different fragrances…it also was a catalyst for a very physical reaction for me. Just the smell of him made me breath anxiously and hold him a bit tighter. Quintessential Edward.

"You smell nice too." He teased, placing a small kiss on the top of my head. He made no movement to break from the hug and I was perfectly content where I stood. I could feel the smile on his lips – just knowing that I could make him smile made me melt.

"What do I smell like?"

"Hm…Jasmine and Orchids right after a rain."

I looked up, and from this angle it wasn't an easy task. The close proximity between us made it difficult to think – but I formed my question. "Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. Even if vampires had the most refined sense of smell, I seriously doubt I have a _floral_ scent.

"Very. Its…intoxicating."

"Does everyone have such…exotic scents?"

"Yours is unique…although it may not affect my family as it does me, yours is very different." He sounded somber. Why was he sad…?

"I wonder if my mom has a similar scent." I thought out loud

"Will I get to meet her?"

Didn't like that question. Nope, not at all. What would my mother think of Edward? Would I tell her he wasn't human? I'm not really sure what she would think of that – she was prone to being unpredictable. In the end though, it didn't matter whether she accepted us or not…everything seemed so insignificant compared to our love.

"If you want to." I answered truthfully.

"I do." He grinned playfully. "You never said, how old is she?"

"Somewhere around 135."

Edward whispered something that I couldn't understand – which I wasn't sure was a good or a bad thing. Nothing else seemed to have changed…

"What did you just say?" I asked inquisitively.

"Sometimes I forget that you're not completely human. I don't know if I'll ever get used to it." He whispered.

"I hope not…Because then I couldn't do this." I teased, before bringing my finger to trail across his muscled arm. I let my finger graze the absolute whiteness of his forearm while pushing a small part of me into that touch. The part that you couldn't to see or describe – it was something that you could only understand if you experienced it.

I knew the affect it would have…my small touch would seem like so much more to him, that innocent touch holding all of the pleasure of a climax. I intensify it too much…wouldn't want him to lose control again. Just enough to remind him that I was _much_ more than just human.

"Nathan…behave…please" he choked out.

I sighed dramatically – leaning in for a chaste kiss that lasted but a moment – Edward still seemed a bit shell-shocked from my teasing.

"You're going to pay for that" He smiled wickedly in my direction.

"I certainly hope so."


	12. Eve

_Okay, so this is the first chapter after a bit of a time jump. I've never really liked it in stories when authors skip months at a time - but I feel like I really needed to get myself back on pace. So there was a small 1-2 month grace period._

_I know its passed the holidays right now, but hopefully the festive nature of the next couple of chapters is still interesting :D  
_

_And at Biomedwiz, you can expect a more traditional date between Nate and Edward in a couple of chapters! Definitely more fluff coming up._

_Enjoy !_

* * *

**Nathan**

Christmas eve at the Cullen's.

Alice went to town on the decorations. That's really all that I can use to describe how absolutely and frighteningly festive the Cullen's house looked. Gargantuan silk-organza bows were tied across nearly all of the trees surrounding their home. There were mistle-toes at every possible corridor; Edward had been taking advantage of those…they were definitely my favorite addition of Alice's. The actual Christmas tree was…just like most things at the Cullens…over the top, perfect, and shockingly beautiful.

I'd been spending enough time here that it was quickly feeling more like home than my Aunt's house. I would have never guessed this place could have such a warm atmosphere from my first visit. Of course that was under very different circumstances…being tied to the medical table probably didn't help my opinion of this place either.

It had been nearly two months since Edward and I met , but in this very short period my life has been changed immeasurably. These past couple of months were perfect in every way. The reason they were perfect? I spent as much time as inhumanly possible with Edward.

Even though it hasn't been very long – we have a connection that sings with s sort of permanence. I really can't explain it, the only practical reasoning I can muster is that both Vampires and Sidhe very rarely fall in love, so maybe things were just more powerful when that did actually occur. Was this what happened to all…non-humans? I had no idea. If I wasn't so absolutely terrified of what my mother would think of Edward I would have asked her by now.

Speaking of my mother, we were going to be seeing her very soon. Yes… _we_.

I guess the Cullens didn't normally celebrate anything Christmas related with the exception of gift-giving. Of course the entire family relished any possible opportunity to give each other things, although I have no idea how they did it. How do you buy a present for someone who already has _everything_? However they all seem genuinely excited about Christmas this year. Edward said that I was kind of an excuse to be so festive. _A new addition to the family_ they'd explained. I liked the sound of that.

I was both excited and a little uncomfortable being the catalyst for their break of routine. Every time I whined about the trouble that they were going through Edward reminded me that it was just as much for them as it was for me. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves; even Rosalie.

I begged them not to buy me anything. As far as I was concerned they'd done enough for me by simply allowing me into their world. Edward…I had to admit…I was eager to see what he'd get. He asked several times and I just replied 'Something simple and intimate'

Being the son of a fashion legend – I was more than acquainted with the world of tangible objects. Maybe because I lived in such a vain and petty realm, sentimental and made gifts seemed so much more appealing. I'd probably spent around 10,000 dollars on gifts between all of them which wasn't breaking my bank by any means…but I was willing to guess it was an astronomical number for most of Forks; especially on people I'd known only for months.

Edward's gift…a trip to Hong Kong with me to meet my mother. Edward was resilient in his quest to meet her. I'd said no a number of times but eventually he got to me – I hated seeing the disappointment in his eyes when I told him I wasn't ready, even though he'd never intentionally make me feel guilty. So even if I would be terribly uncomfortable and somewhat mortified for the bulk of the trip – it made him happy so it was well worth it. Plus, after meeting my mother, we had several days all alone. I could think of a couple things we could do that that time…

If it was up to me I would spend every living, waking moment with Edward. In fact I tried to cut my usual sleep time down so there was more time to spend with him. Unfortunately, that didn't last very long. He was quite adamant about me getting a minimum of seven hours of sleep a night. No one could sleep that long with the temptation of _perfection_ next to them while they slept.

The two of us developed a schedule. My aunt spent the night at her boyfriend's several nights a week – so I spent those nights here at the Cullen's. At first Edward seemed reluctant about the idea, using the excuse that he didn't have a bed in his room as practical reasoning. In the end I'd won – because regardless of what happened here we wouldn't need to hide. Something that up until this point – seemed like an impossibility for me.

My mouth erupted in a crabby groan once I woke up. My eyes were still heavy with sleep from the night before. _What time was it? _I opened my eyes, having to blink away the blurriness so that my phone was readable. 10 am, ugh. Edward reminded me that I would regret staying awake until 4 am last night – he was right. I curled up in a ball and tangled myself in the blankets even more so I could soak up as much warmth as possible.

Normally I had Edward next to me the second I awoke. But this morning he wasn't here on the very small (yet still preferable) futon that I was completely dominating right now. I always wondered how he managed to look graceful lying on the daybed while I took up literally as much space as possible. I've always been a greedy sleeper.

"_We're going hunting tomorrow. Emmett and I will go early enough that I'll be here when you wake up." _Edward's voice echoed in my memory.

Without Edward there seemed to be very little reason to actually get up from my crypt of covers. I grinned at my pun, how appropriate in a house of Vampires.

I stretched the sleep away from under blankets and let out a small moan while my muscles warmed up. I'd finally reached a point of familiarity with this room so that I didn't wake up with "Where the hell am I?" screaming in my head.

After getting up from the futon, I fumbled with my backpack until I pulled out a fresh pair of pants and a t-shirt. Although spending half of my week here was absolutely amazing, living out of a bag during it wasn't my favorite thing in the world. Oh well – it was more than worth this small sacrifice. I'd been very careful not to complain about this either; otherwise I'm sure I'd wake up to my own walk-in closet or something equally impossible.

Something that I'd noticed after spending more time in the Cullen's home was the ridiculous lack of mirrors. Then again, who needs a mirror when you look perfect 24/7? I wasn't about to walk halfway across the house to the nearest bathroom to make sure I looked alright, the Cullens felt like family, and you don't do that for family.

I tripped over my feet most of the way to Alice's room; the sensation of sleep still looming over me.

Alice's room was very similar to Edward's and the rest of the house. The design was clean, minimal, and timeless. The coloring was some shade of beige with navy highlights. As I walked into Alice's room I saw two large Louis Vuitton suitcases propped open while she went about choosing clothes at her super-human speed. I'd warned her not to go anywhere the next couple of days because of some plans I made – so why was she packing?

"Hey Alice." I yawned – plopping myself on the only part of her bed that wasn't littered with clothes.

"Morning" She beamed. "How did you sleep?"

"Not bad." I admitted, trying to hide the depression that curled inside me from not waking up next to Edward.

"They're on their way back" Alice addressed my worries as if she could hear my thoughts.

"Oh, good." Suddenly in higher spirits, I looked around the room innocently in hopes that I'd make some connection. No one knew about the trip besides Edward and Esme – and neither of them would ever relinquish such information. I'd threatened them with cloves of garlic and crucifixes. They weren't very effective, but neither of them would tattle regardless.

"Alice. What are you packing for?" Not keeping any suspicion out of my voice.

"Nothing" she lied calmly. Her voice was the same unnatural evenness that she always used when she wasn't telling the complete truth. Suddenly, no…_conveniently_, Alice became very absorbed in her packing. She stood there completely still with black dresses held in front of her; her eyes carefully examining each detail. With often as Alice revamped her wardrobe (no pun intended), I seriously wondered how much money they spent on clothes annually.

After all, I was well acquainted with the two dresses she held up. One was your classic Chanel 'little black dress' and the other was actually my mother's design. Both dresses were over 1500 Euro. I was betting that was on the cheaper end of the spectrum for Alice.

"Ditch the Chanel" I commented. She nodded in agreement and threw the Chanel dress in the 'out' pile.

"Do you like it?" I asked ambiguously – on the rare chance she really didn't know what I'd planned.

"Like what?"

"Alice, you're so caught." I teased.

Even though Edward constantly reminded me that I didn't need put stress on myself about gifts for him and his family I couldn't help Cullens have just about everything – so getting them _anything_ was usually a task in itself.

Plus…they all meant a lot to me – so I wanted to exploit this holiday and give them something they would actually enjoy, which proved to be much more difficult than I'd originally thought.

The clout that both my mother and I had in the fashion industry had its benefits sometimes. Hong Kong Fashion week was in a couple of days; so I'd gotten both Rosalie and Alice front row seats in every possible show after during or after twilight. It was also supposed to rain one of the two days so they had free reign to go wherever they pleased. It seemed creative enough – and something that they haven't done before. Which for a family with unlimited resources , none of them under 60 years old, new experiences were few and far between.

Alice's expression told me everything. If that wasn't been enough she jumped on me and assaulted me with a very tight hug.

Once she pulled away she said enthusiastically

"I love it Nate!! I wanted to tell you earlier but Edward made me promise not to tell you! Hm…he's going to be upset that you know that I know." Her bottom lip extended while she considered the consequences for her mistake.

I smiled at Edward's gesture. Even thinking his name made even sitting difficult knowing his absence. I hoped he got home soon. I was helplessly addicted to Edward.

"Don't worry about him. Do you think Rosalie will like it?"

Things with Rosalie were…on thin ice. I'm pretty sure she didn't _hate_ me. But she made very little attempt to hide the fact that she thought I was intruding on their life. And of course, putting them at great risk. Our friendship was slowly growing though – and she even smiled every so often in my presence. Progress.

"She will." Alice remarked with utmost confidence.

"You didn't tell her did you!?"

"Oh of course not. I saw it though, she's going to have fun, buy a ton of stuff too."

Oh god. Had she seen Edward's present?

"Uh…Alice…did you see what I got Edward?" I questioned her reluctantly. If she had seen it he certainly would have gotten a glimpse of it.

"Not entirely, I've been trying to avoid looking for you two. I caught a glimpse of it but I've been covering my tracks pretty well – he has no idea. He'll be thrilled to meet her."

"That makes one of us." I grimaced.

Alice continued to meticulously sort through her wardrobe while I curled myself up on the pillows of her small bed. There were still a couple of things I needed to finish before the day was over. Put the final details on the painting for Esme and Carlisle. I spent most of my time the past month either painting or melting over Edward. Usually simultaneously when I had the strength to look away from my love and focus on the canvas.

And then the other errand…I needed to call my Aunt and tell her I would be going to Hong Kong. Ugh, it seemed like such a draining and unnecessary task. All of the plans had already been made. This was one of the many times that I wished I lived with the Cullens every day. Most of Forks probably wouldn't even be surprised – Edward and I never left each other's presence even in the public eye. Except for those deplorable sunny days…I hated those days.

"I'll be back in a sec." I said, leaving Alice to pick out the plethora of shoes she intended on packing for the four-day trip while I went back to Edward's room to get my phone.

My foot tapped impatiently on its own accord while the dull ringing of the phone buzzed in my ear. 'Please don't pick up' I wished while it reached the 6th buzz. A voicemail would be so much simpler – I could avoid all of the unnecessary questions that she was bound to ask.

Thankyou, voicemail.

'_This is Clarice. Leave a message and I __**might**__get back to you!"_ her voicemail repeated to me in a flirtatious tone.

"Hi Clarice. I'm going to Hong Kong to see my mom, I'll be back in a week. Call Eliziah if you have any questions." And hung up.

I sighed for no particular reason and went to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. The kitchen really was beautiful. Stocked with every possible kitchen appliance, and since I started spending more time here, was always stocked with _a lot_ of fresh produce. I wanted to complain, explain to them that none of this was necessary. But if I've learned something…Esme especially…loves giving things. She does this just as much for herself as she does for me. Sometimes she felt more like a mother than my own.

When would Edward get here? I tapped the spoon to the edge of a bowl I'd just pulled out impatiently. I poured some cereal and took a seat at the kitchen table, walking a bit faster than normal, trying to sidestep the cold tile on my bare feet. The house was eerily empty for a Saturday. Maybe Carlisle went to work for over time…I hoped this had nothing to do with some top secret plan about tomorrow.

Then I heard the distinct sound of the door opening. I rejoiced and started engulfing my cereal so fast I almost choked. I should have known by now, really. Edward was next to me before I heard the door swing shut. His eye color was always more intense right after he fed, when he looked at me I felt like I would melt just like the molten topaz in his eyes.

"Good morning." He grinned and kissed me. The taste of blood was still evident on his lips. Edward went to the seat next to mine and looked at me all smiles.

"Full?" I teased, taking another mouthful of cereal.

"Very. I feel like a glut."

"Good, You'll be ready for tomorrow then!" I said cheerfully.

He rolled his eyes. "Its been a very long month, you know. You haven't let me hear your thoughts even once."

"Hopefully it'll be worth it. It's incredibly difficult hiding things from you, you know." I fought back the grimace at the thought of my mother and Edward sitting and chatting over lunch. "By the way, I know that Alice knows about my gift." I added nonchalantly

Edward muttered something that I couldn't understand and suddenly looked irritated. "Its not her fault, I saw her packing. Its really okay." I smiled and leaned toward him for a kiss. He met me half way and I could feel my heart jump when the coolness of his breath hit me in the face – only to have the sensation of his lips against mine moments later.

The rest of the day was oddly relaxing considering we were planning a trip out of the country for the next day. Maybe I was just used to running amuck doing things last minute before a trip. Edward and I spent the entire day in his room with the door closed, just in case Esme or Carlisle wanted to come him, I didn't want them to risk them seeing their painting early. They must have had a vague idea of what I was doing – after all, a large draped object sitting complacently in the corner of Edward's room wasn't exactly inconspicuous.…I just hoped my good intentions paid off. Edward swore to me that they would like it; especially Esme, but you never know. It also wouldn't be the first time Edward said something simply to comfort me.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked me with his silky voice that made me turn around to look at him. It was more of a stare really. I had a habit of just gazing in astonishment every time I saw him.

"A lot of things. How come?"

"Once I got used to hearing your thoughts I went right back to being in the dark." He pouted.

I turned around and went to the couch. At first I was just going to sit next to him; but straddling him seemed so much more appropriate. 'Remember Nate. Self Control.' I reminded myself. I never was very disciplined.

I grinned at him wickedly " What do you think I'm thinking?" My arms wrapped around his neck, my fingers idly brushing in skin.

"Nothing good, I'm sure." Returning my grin while he leaned me forward with no visible effort so that we were close enough to feel one another's breath. We sat there intertwined. I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation of our bodies touching. My head found its usual place and balanced perfectly in his clavicle. A smile touched my lips when his sweet scent reached my nose. No matter what was going on, I would always feel perfectly safe in his arms.

I'm not sure how much time passed as we lay there in silence – but we watched as the winter sun slowly faded into twilight – and then to complete darkness.

"This was an uneventful day." Edward whispered in my ear. He didn't sound upset about that fact. Actually, he seemed to be in a very good mood despite his choice of words.

"More like the perfect day. I had you to myself all day." I smiled.

"I'm pretty pleased with the results too. I should take you home though…Your Aunt is going to want you home for Christmas." Edward started to move me from our stagnant position before I had the chance to reply.

"She thinks I went to Hong Kong for Christmas." I added smugly.

"So you'll be spending the night again?"

"Only if you want me to." I couldn't help but ask him – a small part of me waited in fear for the time he said 'no.'

"You know I do. Esme will be happy you'll be here for the morning too."

"Is morning when you usually give your gifts then?"

"Not typically. This year we are though."

"What? Why?" I asked although I already knew the answer. I hate it when they changed things on my behalf.

"They figured it would be more traditional, you know waking up and opening gifts…And since we don't sleep we've opened them Christmas eve night in the past." Edward explained in a cold and analytical voice. There was also an air of finality to it, he'd expected me to argue.

"And me making a fuss about that will just make things more difficult."

Edward grinned at me in silent agreement.

I guess it didn't really matter. This was going to be the best Christmas ever. It didn't matter when we opened gifts, because I had Edward, and he was the best gift of all.


	13. Flight

_Hey guys! Sorry for taking a little bit longer than usual to update, but classes started so my focus is split. Still going along with the Holiday theme which will last for a couple more chapters while they are in Hong Kong. A lot of exciting things are coming up I can't wait to get them uploaded on FF :D_

_Hope you like it!_

* * *

**Edward**

"_Great idea_" Emmett complained in a hushed whisper so quiet no human could hear.

"He's going to be so confused." Alice laughed silently.

It was around 1 am on Christmas morning and we'd just gotten around to preparing Nathan's present from Esme and Carlisle. We had to wait until he fell asleep before we set it up, it was quite obvious this wasn't for any of _us_. Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and I were trying to put together the thousands of pieces to a queen-sized bed. Putting the bed together wasn't difficult, but assembling all the pieces without making even the slightest sound took some improvisation. I watched while Alice pushed a series of nail into the wood with her thumb; trying carefully not to bend the metal.

We would have finished this in mere minutes had we been able to put the bed together somewhere else and just transport it into my room. Unfortunately, even super-human strength couldn't help us fit a bed this size in a doorway as small as mine.

"What if you just bring it in through the window?" Jasper asked.

"The draft is more likely to wake him up than us making too much noise."

"Probably right." He sighed.

A bed may seem like an insignificant idea to most people, but I knew it was much more charged than that. I'm not sure who thought of it – Carlisle or Esme - but it was a brilliant idea. I silently conjured the image of Nathan once he realized the bed was in the room. Always surprised, but never scared. I've given up on the idea that we were too terrifying for him, that someday… he would run away at the horrific sight of something. In fact he seemed to take most of our…differences in stride.

We had the entire skeleton set up in about 20 minutes. I was confident that we would be quiet enough as to not disturb him; but our silence wouldn't save us from him waking up abruptly. Nathan was prone to having…violent dreams. The only time that I could look into his thoughts freely without censure was when he was asleep. A lot of his dreams were focused on me. Nearly all of them actually, with the exception of one specific difference.

In that _nightmare_ it was the same older man I'd seen in Nathan's thoughts in the meadow. The dreams were eerily similar to the memory I'd seen. They were close enough that these dreams were so reminiscent of the memory that I'd seen I was willing to bet they were indeed memories. Nathan always remained in a deep sleep, on the surface he appeared tranquil and angelic as always – but he would wake up in a huff but once he noticed my body next to his he quickly fell back asleep. He always thought the same thing the moment before he fell back into his coma…_safe_.

I wanted so badly to make him feel safe…

The first time I realized that these reoccurring nightmares were actually memories I nearly lost myself. Alice's warning was the only thing that stopped me from taking the next flight to Hong Kong and killing that perverted _rapist_. No, he was even worse than that. He was a rapist, murderer, launderer, and the list continues. Every time Nathan had one of these dreams it took an extreme amount of effort to avoid breaching the topic. I wanted to know more about this man, for Nathan to shed light on all of the awful things he's done. Maybe then I could justify killing him…

Jasper and I went to each side of my futon and began to lift it with care. I didn't need Jasper's help because the futon was too heavy – but we needed to keep the sofa perfectly level so Nathan wouldn't awake. We held it carefully so the daybed didn't shift an inch, and were half-way across the room when an inaudible grunt escaped from Nathan's lips.

If he woke up right now hiding the evidence was impossible even for us. Not only was he currently _mid air_ but something would have to be done about the bed – and no solution came to mind other than throwing a sheet over it and hoping it was too dark for him to notice. None of us moved an inch – my siblings mirrored my actions and stopped breathing out of force of habit.

Nathan shifted his weight and turned… no…_plopped_ onto his other side. It was an unfamiliar movement for someone who was seemingly asleep. He actually tucked his hands under him and threw himself side-ways in some bizarre sideways flip. The four of us exchanged bewildered glances before sighing in relief as his breathing steadied once he fell back into unconsciousness.

Once Jasper and I were safely out of the way Alice and Emmett set the bed in the back-left corner of my room. A perfect fit.

I gave them non-verbal 'thank you' and watched them leave the room without another word.

I stood there for an undetermined amount of time watching him sleep. I'm not sure what was so amusing about it, but seeing his angelic features range from furrowing his brow to an unaware smile mesmerized me. This was just like when we first met. The times when everything was uncertain – when I wasn't confident that he would even survive the night. I'd put him at great risk slipping into his room while he slept…

_The scent assaulted me – even more potent than it had been in the classroom. The smell of him coated everything in the room…of course it would be more difficult in his own environment. But I fought it valiantly and continued to watch his every feature change. That was where my obsession first began to grow…I would have to leave Forks until he disappeared for university._

_Then something happened – something I would have never suspected. I hadn't understood the dialogue in his dreams, they were in entirely Chinese, only the occasional spoken word in a language I knew._

_My face appeared.__** I**__ was in his dream. And it wasn't the monstrous face that I'd shown him the first time we'd met, but something beautiful and pure. _

After that night I continued this ritual day after day – taking in every unconscious thought that he couldn't hide from me. The act was perverted, but I couldn't stop myself. My entire family thought I was crazy – no one would have expected what Nathan and mine's relationship would turn into…except for Alice, and even I was resistant to her theory at the time.

I forced the memories to another place and went to lift onto the bed that was now embellished with sheets, pillows, and a down comforter. My hands scooped him up like a child and very carefully began to move him from one place to another. I'd put a blanket on my arms so that the coolness of my skin wouldn't disturb him. But even with the protective layer of fabric the heat of his bare skin against my chest made me question my control.

I'd seen Nathan shirtless many times – but we were always very sure to keep it brief. Well, by we I mean _I_ was sure it was brief, seeing him like that made parts of my body churn with desire. Nathan never worked out but his body had the faint echo of a gym rat while still maintaining a very boyish figure. Everything about him physically played with my every desire. The spectral color of his skin allowed me to see fresh veins trailing down several venues. The touch, smell, and even the salty _taste_ of his skin drew me in like a moth to a light.

I pushed the covers back with one hand before resting him on the bed, where he instantly curled up against the warm comforter and pillows. It took effort to force myself away from him so I could dispose of the futon and bring the cabinet in too.

Carlisle and Esme didn't only get the bed – they also bought a small cabinet that would fit some clothes of his, which I had generously packed without any of his knowledge. He had so many that he would never notice if some had gone missing anyway.

Even with all of these different tasks to accomplish they'd take maybe 30 minutes at best. The rest would be waiting for Nathan to wake up – a habit that I'd grown to enjoy. Most of my family didn't understand my fascination with watching him sleep, they ignored it for the most part but their thoughts usually rang with an undercurrent of _weird_.. This hobby of mine was one of the many things that I'd like to keep secret…but I lived in a family that keeping secrets was nearly impossible. Admittedly, I was half of the problem.

The rest of the night passed relatively slowy; exactly how I wanted it. Regrettably, about thirty minutes were spent away from Nathan doing tedious necessities. The rest was spent with Nathan and I in embrace. I gawked at his every motion mindlessly, however this gave me time to explore topics I wouldn't have thought about otherwise.

It took some time – but with much effort I limited my adolescent curiosity revolving around Nathan's present to a dull roar. Everyone in my family enjoyed giving things – so we'd always relished Christmas to exercise that vice. But I couldn't quite remember the last time that I was _eager_ for a gift. I'd actually spent an unhealthy portion of time considering all of the options – _maybe_ even scanning Alice's thoughts for any hints. Of course she was a veteran at hiding what her true agenda was, so I had no such luck.

Nathan was zealous in his attempt to deter me from finding out about my gift. He swore he wouldn't let me hear his thoughts until Christmas – although I didn't actually _expect_ him to hold up to his bluff. He definitely did; the silence was beginning to get to me. His thoughts were a comfortable and surprisingly pure place. For someone with his talent I'd expected something much more critical of others. In fact…_everything_ about Nathan was comfortable.

Nathan had his arms wrapped around me the moment I was on the bed. He moved around for a more comfortable position in his slumber until finally settling, his arms tightly wrapping around my torso and his head using my chest as a pillow. I watched while his expression turned to one of contentment. I rested my cheek on the top of his head and closed my eyes to fully focus on the tantalizing heat emitting from his body.

Nathan shifted quietly to look up – I was so absorbed by his presence my other senses seemed to be distracted. He smiled and gazed at me with his peculiar eyes and whispered in a drowsy voice "Happy Christmas."

I laughed cheerfully at him – my entire mood rising with just a quirky glance and two words. "Merry Christmas" and pulled him closer to me and kissed him on the forehead.

Nathan stretched both his arms and legs and unleashed a powerful yawn in slow motion. His legs covered mine, taking up most of the bed in the process. And then he gave me a quizzical look which incited an amused grin – causing his suspicions to grow even further.

"Huh?" He said and began to look around the room that was growing brighter because of the sunrise.. Traces of the sun rising danced across the walls of my room while he began to examine the bed. Nathan's hands rubbed the fabric before looking back at me "What's this?" he asked inquisitively.

"A bed"

I couldn't keep the amusement off my face when he rolled his eyes and looked at me expectantly.

"You don't sleep."

It was my turn to roll my eyes.

"No, but _you_ do."

"Wait. This is for _me_?" Nathan asked incredulously. His voice was soft and filled with surprise. He looked at me apprehensively – his multicolored eyes carrying something that I couldn't quite understand.

I nodded. "Its from Carlisle and Esme…they figured you spend so much time here – you deserve to sleep on a bed, not my stiff futon."

Nathan's eyes lit up with unabashed enthusiasm after my explanation. His excitement was temporary though, his expression became stern and suddenly serious when he asked me "Are you okay with this though? I totally understand if you want your space…" leaving his apology open ended.

Was Nathan clueless? Have I done anything to merit even the slightest bit of doubt? I thought I'd made it clear that my love for him was so potent it is literally _indescribable_. Every decision I've made since we met has been made extremely cautiously with his best interest always in mind. Even if, or when, Nathan grows tired of me I will never forget him. Love changes so much to my kind…why didn't he realize this?

"I hated watching you struggle to sleep on my futon but didn't have the strength to tell you to sleep in your bed…I like you around too much. Its also a gift for me…we have that much more room for the two of us." I let my tone become seductive toward the end, I watched him shudder under the power of my voice. An unnatural heat manifested itself in my eyes because of the intensity of emotion that I was having such difficulty describing.

Nathan crossed his legs and sat there in disbelief – allowing me to watch amused.

"This is amazing. Wow."

"There's more."

"_More_? This is too much!" Nathan complained, getting up and fumbling in his backpack for a t shirt and a pair of pants.

"Hey. Where are my clothes?"

I ignored his question and took advantage that he didn't have a shirt on yet, and brought my hand to his lower back to usher him in the direction of his new cabinet. He shivered excitedly at my touch. Nathan stopped and looked at me with the same expression after he noticed the bed. "That's new."

"Look inside." I smiled. It felt I'd swallowed the sun – the emotion flowed through me as if my heart was pumping blood through my body. Just watching Nathan forget any sort of worry and be truly and genuinely happy affected me so strongly.

All of us congregated in the living room after Nathan stalked both Esme and Carlisle to thank them for their present. I had been confident that he would like it – otherwise I would have shot down the idea once they asked me. Carlisle and Esme pretended like they had no idea of his reaction; but I had no doubt that they had been listening.

"This is great, Rose." Jasper said while examining a watch she'd given to him.

At this point all of this gifts had been exchanged with the exception of Nathan and I. I'd have to give my present to Nathan in private – I knew he would be embarrassed by people watching…was he extending a similar courtesy to me?

Maybe not. I listened while Nathan's heart rate began to speed up when he opened his mouth to speak "We're all on the same flight, and it leaves at 2:30 so…" He paused for a second "I'm sure _you_ guys will have plenty of time to pack your things" which made everyone chuckle except for me. He said _we_. Nathan hadn't mentioned anything about a trip to Hong Kong.

It was then that he gently brushed his hand against mine so that I'd look at him, and he opened himself up to me for the first time in over a month. There were so many things on the surface of his mind at that moment; the presents, preparing for the flight, and then his…mother?

_I hope its something that you want….But we're going to Hong Kong so you can meet my mom. Its entirely up to you how much we tell her, and also what we do for the rest of the trip. As far as I'm concerned…I'm satisfied with sitting in a hotel for the entire four days. _

For the first time in nearly a century I felt the stirring of nerves. Since I'd met Nathan I discovered that I had countless insecurities that I thought were long forgotten. Would she accept our relationship? And was telling her what I truly was an option? After all she was as immortal as we were, it seemed so wrong. It was against the one and only true law fo the Volturi…perhaps. It clearly stated that humans are to never know of our presence – would the Volturi consider Nathan's mother uman? Did they even know Sidhe existed? Regardless, I was genuinely surprised and _very_ pleased. I must have been smiling because Nathan returned it – eagerly awaiting a response.

"Its perfect." I whispered, and went in to kiss him.

_I don't think I'll ever get used to that…_ Emmett thought but I ignored him. The rest of my family's thoughts weren't nearly as critical.

I watched Nathan's thoughts and could feel him working to control his compulsions similar to me…only on a _much_ smaller scale. He pulled back from the kiss and thought, _I'm nervous, but a little excited for you to meet her.._

"Me too…" I said enthusiastically. I was very eager to meet his mother – for more than one reason.

* * *

**Edward**

Christmas morning passed far too quickly. The rest of the morning was filled with packing and joking between the _entire_ family. Christmas was usually just another day for my us – once we'd exchanged our gifts we continued nonchalantly with our public life. This year seemed to be an exception – there was an infectious happiness radiating through all of us that made the most mundane tasks enjoyable, making time pass with ease.

I was still waiting for the ideal moment to give Nathan his gift. A downside to our elated state was that we were all so absorbed in each other's activities that Nathan and I didn't have a moment alone. He didn't seem to mind – although he'd occasionally tease me, asking if I'd even gotten him a present even though he was confident I had. Carlisle and Esme were a little depressed that their entire family was leaving them. But Nathan chose such a short trip in preparation of this.

Now that the 'cat was out of the bag' so to speak, the rest of my family was being much more nonchalant about their thoughts. So I was able to freely watch Esme's memory of Nathan drilling her – to be certain that four days away was okay with them as if he was asking the mother of a true 17 year old. I knew he wasn't exactly asking _permission_, but he didn't like the idea of dividing our family.

The group of us chose to take a Charter flight from Port Angeles to Seattle. We all fought Nathan on this – we could easily drive to Seattle in the time that the normal human would have made it to Port Angeles; probably sooner. Nathan was persistent in his mission to avoid this at all costs. He hated the way we drove, calling it 'reckless' and 'suicidal' on more than one occasion. Nathan eventually won – guilting us with the troubling truth that he'd bought nonrefundable tickets.

As per usual in Washington – there was no need to worry about the sun. It was snowing as we walked toward the Seattle-Tacoma International wing when we were all confronted with a surprise. Rose was grateful enough that she didn't ask if we were flying coach or first class – but I could feel that she dreaded the idea of sitting in coach for the fifteen hour flight. Further contemplation forced me to ask him. I wasn't confident that Jasper would be able to stand sitting in an enclosed space with humans for an extended period of time.

There was no need to worry. We weren't riding in coach _or_ first class. My siblings were mystified by the private jet that Nathan had managed to commandeer for our trip to Hong Kong. They'd all asked him – even excitedly – but he ignored their questions even though his thoughts betrayed him. _Donnatella_ rang through his mind once they'd asked. I quickly scanned through the (albeit few) Donnatellas that I was aware of. Knowing his mother's career the most likely choice was Dontella Versace – the clothing designer.

The interior of the plane was just as luxurious as the idea of riding in a private jet – something that even my family rarely did. After we were all seated and buckled in at Nathan's insistence did he begin to explain to everyone 'the schedule' as it were.

"Okay. Its going to be evening when we get in so you won't need to worry about the sun. A car will take everyone to their places…Its like a 2.5 hour drive from Hong Kong" He said while looking at Emmett and Jasper guiltily.

"It's a private car, so if you need to stop to hunt…or something, they will just stay in the car and not pry. The temperature is always warmer there – and the villa is the only building within like 20 or so miles, with an excess of animals." He said dryly. When initially explaining their gift he'd told them that the area had a lot of exotic animals that would be _fun_. Even Jasper and Emmett found it funny at his creativity, although it seemed to be effective because both of them were excited.

Looking at Alice and Rose now "You guys are right in town, so the ride is really short."

"Is there anywhere…. to hunt?" Rose asked in a neutral tone. She was still uncomfortable speaking of topics like hunting with Nathan. I didn't blame her – it wasn't a conversation I typically relished having.

"About an hour drive away south there's a forest. There might be some fishermen there so just be…wary." Alice rolled her eyes at his warning.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine." She soothed him.

Organizing all of this – paying a great attention to detail to be certain that we would remain inconspicuous, but have taken an intense amount of work. I actually wouldn't have guessed he was even capable of such an undertaking; maybe he understood us better than I thought.

Nathan rested his head in hopes of falling asleep – but I listened as his mind rambled through the countless tasks he needed to finish. He must have only gotten a couple of hours of sleep…and trying to cater to my family's…dysfunctions was obviously taking its toll on him. The stress must have been dehabilitating but he never let it escape the crevices of his mind.

When we were taking our seats on the plane I noticed there was a second cabin that seemed to be reserved for more official purposes. Once we got to Hong Kong I would have very little control of what we were doing and our surroundings, so now was probably the best opportunity for some privacy. I didn't need to lean much – but went to his ear and whispered "Can we go somewhere alone…I have something to show you." Nathan nodded sleepily and took me by the hand to the other section of the plane.

Nathan pulled me to a leather sofa in the corner of the room and sat down looking at me expectantly. Even though I knew he was exhausted he showed no symptoms of it. Humans usually get dark rings under their eyes with even the slightest lack of sleep – but his complexion was unwaveringly perfect. His lips curled into a small smile.

_Its probably my gift_ he reminded himself.

I pulled a rectangular box from my jacket's pocket at a speed so fast that it would seem like it just appeared infront of him. The shape of the box was reminiscent of jewelry – so he'd probably put it together relatively easily.

Nathan asked for permission with a glance and opened the box delicately. Inside was a necklace. The chain glistened pristinely like most jewelry from _Tiffany & Co_. I'd initially thought Platinum would be perfect for him…gold was so…_antiqued_. And it just seemed like this would fit Nathan's tastes. The chain was secondary though – it was merely a vessel.

I began to explain while Nathan held up the chain and examined the aged dog-tag that hung from it

"It was my father's. He served in World War I…We weren't as close as my mother and I, but I remember him being important to me…He was the reason that I was so eager to rush off into war... Most families never even received anything substantial, I think we were one of the lucky few. After two years without word or him coming back…this came in the post." I touched the tag instinctively.

"My memories from my human life really have faded…I can't remember what he was like anymore. But this…_relic_ if you will, has served as a reminder of something incredibly important to me…and I think its only appropriate for the person who is the _most_ important thing in my life to wear it..." Ending my monologue to watch his reaction.

Small crystals began to develop from his eyes while he fought back the urge to cry. He hadn't looked at me since he first saw the necklace.

"This is so important…When you're wearing it there is my past…" Touching my father's dated dog-tag. "The present." Looking at the Tiffany chain.

"And my future…" I said, brushing my fingers against his velvety soft skin before out lips connected in a passionate kiss.


	14. Hong Kong

_I don't have all that much to say with this chapter. Its the beginning of the little vacation in Hong Kong for Edward and Nathan - I think they both needed to get away from everything._

_Aside from that, I'd like to ask for anyone who has some sort of constructive criticism please let me know! I'd be eternally grateful. I'm a nonfiction writer and always have been, so at this point in the fic I feel like my style of writing is getting rather repetitious and drawn out...I'm not sure if this is just insecurities or if other people are picking up on a similar vibe! So if you have any thoughts feel free to review or just send me a message and I'll try my best to fix it :)_

_Hope you enjoy! Its a pretty juicy chapter._

_

* * *

_

**Nathan**

"_No, we're going to our hotel_" I demanded vehemently.

"I'm sorry sir – Your mother's orders were very clear." The driver insisted.

"I'm either taking a cab right now. Or you can drop us off at the hotel. After we unpack we'll go to the studio." I said in as even of a voice as I could muster.

"Its fine Nathan… Lets not further –" Edward tried to play the peacekeeper but I put my finger to his lips. I watched him fight a smile at my _very_ obvious frustration.

_Edward, please. There are a lot of things I need to talk to you about before we meet with her._

He sighed and nodded – looking back to our potential driver.

I glared at him with the full intensity that these human-looking eyes would allow. He started to fidget uncomfortable under my gaze and I knew it was only a matter of time before I'd have my way. My Sidhe heritage clung to me like a sleeve, no matter where I went I wouldn't be able to escape it, not entirely. Even with these illusions that I continued to perpetually cover myself with couldn't completely ebb what I truly was. People were naturally attracted to me even if their preference wasn't for men. And when people are attracted to someone, or even feel the need to gravitate toward them, usually they are willing to do whatever to please you…and because if this I nearly _always_ got something once I set my mind to it. I'm sure my mother did something similar to the driver once she'd sent him on the task – but she wasn't here – I was. So I would win.

"Yes sir." He nodded and kept his head down as he went to open the door for us but Edward beat him do it, Edward stood there grinning, probably at whatever the driver was thinking. Of course neither of us actually _saw_ him move, but I hopped in the car momentarily relieved while the driver went back to the wheel with a confused expression.

Edward slid onto the leather interior with feline grace and took his place next to me. I was seated, gazing into the necklace that Edward had given me. There was a mysterious weight to the jewelry – something very unnatural. But once he'd put it on me it felt like _home_. Of course I couldn't explain it…but it was perfect. I'd taken in every detail of the dog-tag, leaving my mind free to escape the car and focus on much bigger worries.

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him so my back was resting on his chest. I instantly felt better once our bodies were touching. Whenever I was anxious physical contact always calmed me down, it didn't need to be sexual, it was almost like a reminder that I wasn't alone. I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyes – so tired…

"You should sleep." He whispered in my ear, his fingers playing idly with my hand as the car began to drive off.

"Too stressed to sleep." I muttered

"You slept on the plane."

Of course I slept, albeit briefly, during the 17 hour flight. But I knew a large part of that was Jasper's doing. I'd become well acquainted with the sensation. Your entire body began to ease and relax more than any man-made drug could accomplish. Sure, I mind was free to worry, and knew exactly what he was doing but I couldn't bring myself to tell him to stop.

Yea, I didn't put up much of a fight. Edward had probably put him up to it – once Jasper started I was out in minutes.

"You know that was because of Jasper." I scolded.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said smugly, but then continued in a much more serious tone. "Please just rest…I don't like you hurting yourself just for this. Everything will be fine."

I sighed and melted even further into his arms and took in the familiar scent. The coolness of his body combined with how safe and invincible I felt when I was this close to him. Sleep wasn't too far away – had to fight it…

"How long until we get to your flat?" Edward asked with irresistibly soft voice. He was determined to get me some rest, and knowing Edward, would probably win.

"20 to 30 minutes, depending on traffic."

"Just rest then…I'll wake you up."

He definitely won.

"Promise?" I asked, even though I knew he would.

"Of course…." He insisted, pulling me even closer to him and started to hum an unknown melody into my ear.

I closed my eyes and thought of nothing but the feeling of being in his arms. I didn't worry about my mother, or the potential doom I'd subjected the rest of the Cullens to by taking them to Hong Kong, no…Edward and I. I sighed as sleep began to rush over me – the familiar pulsing at my brow warned me that sleep was just seconds away.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty." I heard faintly in my sleep. Only when the sensation of Edward's lips kissing my forehead did I come back to reality. It felt like we made it back to my flat in literally the blink of an eye. I smiled when he pulled me up – forcing me to become more alert. Waking up to his perfection always made the process much easier, something to look forward to.

"We'll be back down in an hour" I grumbled crabbily and made my way to the building; ignoring the chilling weather that would have normally made me cling to my coat. We walked through the small, minimalist lobby hand in hand. I gave a curt nod to the person at the desk, whose stare seemed to linger on us for longer than he should have. We both ignored him and went up in the elevator.

My foot tapped of its own accord on the shiny ground while I stood their, impatiently eyeing the numbers going down.

"Nathan, please relax." Edward sighed.

Relaxing was not on the agenda. At least not until he met my mom. This wasn't exactly your standard visit – there were so many preliminaries that I had never even considered, Edward meeting my mother had always been in the very distant future. We had to seriously consider whether or not we should tell her the full truth. If my mom was human it would be a no brainer – but because she was just as immortal as the rest of the Cullens…I couldn't help but feel mildly obliged to tell her the truth. Plus… Eliziah, similar to Alice, knew _something_ was coming, just how much she knew was the problem.

Apparently she was aware of our visit without me bothering to mention it to her otherwise she would have never bothered sending the car. The most troublesome question of all of this was did she know if Edward was human or not?

The elevator opened straight to the loft – no door included. I took a revitalized step forward and lobbed my things on the counter sloppily and breathed a sigh of relief as I took in my surroundings. I'd decorated the place… somewhat. But in reality it probably looked more like a chic college dorm than a legitimate apartment.. Three of the four walls were brick and gave it a very rustic feel that contrasted with the contemporary furniture spread throughout the flat.

My bed sat in a corner away from everything else – only my television hanging from the opposite wall and my desk keeping it company. The place seemed kind of barren since I moved to Forks. In a desperate attempt to make life more bearable in my new home I took most of my sentimental possessions or things that reminded me of home. I'd need to replace them or something, it wasn't quite the same. I guess I wouldn't really be coming back here all that often – hopefully I would be welcome back depending how things went today.

Edward walked around my place casually, taking in all the details, and eventually descended onto on a black leather sofa in the middle of the room He smiled at me when I grabbed a glass of water and went to go sit with him.

"So what do you think?" I asked, fighting to pull off a genuine smile

"Its nice. I would have expected something a bit more…." He hesitated at his word choice.

"Glamorous?" I grinned.

"Something like that." Edward slipped his shoes off before crossing his legs on the sofa so he could turn and look at me. Either he heard my thoughts or was innately polite. I didn't care, as long as the shoes didn't touch the Italian leather.

"So are these horrific details you've been so hesitant to enlighten me with?" He teased. I knew he didn't find anything intimidating about my mother, here's to hoping he was right.

"Well. First things first. Are we going to be honest with her about your…little condition?" I grinned, trying to be playful. I'd started calling vampirism a 'little condition.' At first I think it bothered him, dismissing the whole life-threatening aspect of it all so easily... But he either had grown used to it or was humoring me.

Edward paused for a moment and sat perfectly still while all I could do was take in his absolute perfection. He dressed down for the flight but still looked impeccable even in jeans and a sweater. He wore a padded vest to give the illusion that the cold actually bothered him. I could ignore the cold – make every day feel as though it was as warm as a sunny day. But like so many things that I could do it took a certain amount of concentration, while for Edward…it just seemed to happen naturally.

"Will she already know?" He asked. He'd probably gathered most of the details already from my thoughts.

"No idea. I'm sure she'll bring it up if she does though."

"Then we'll wait for her to bring it up. If not…we will have an enjoyable evening" he finished serenely.

_Yea. Enjoyable_ I repeated cognitively with fierce sarcasm.

"I wonder if I'll be able to hear her thoughts too."

"Doubtful – but if you do, she'll probably be thinking in Cantonese."

"Hopefully I can keep up." He remarked _in Cantonese_.

I did a double take – replaying the memory a couple of times before I was absolutely certain he just spoke Cantonese , and I hadn't completely lost my mind. Edward mentioned several times that he couldn't speak Cantonese; and never showed any inclination of pursuing it either. If he understood Cantonese…he would have understood not only conversations with Eric, but when I intentionally thought in a language that he wouldn't understand.

He was in trouble.

"What did you say?" I asked him – this time in Cantonese. Even if he couldn't understand what I was saying my venomous tone would certainly implied my question.

"Nothing." (In Cantonese)

I sat there, jaw-dropped for long enough that any human would have shifted awkwardly under my bewildered expression. He didn't seem phased by my incredulous stare. Quite the contrary – he had a bemused expression plastered all over his face.

"You're unbelievable!" I hissed – getting up from the sofa, not quite sure what I was going to do just yet, but something that would busy my hands.

He got up to follow me, remaining several paces behind me even though we both knew he had no trouble keeping up with my pace.

"Nathan" he complained but I ignored him.

I wasn't mad at him. Not really. Aghast, irritated, and frustrated, sure. It was more than difficult to get mad at Edward.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were learning Chinese?" I fumed, filling up another glass and taking an irritated sip – glaring at him the entire time.

"You didn't ask." His expression remained unmoving, but I saw his mouth jerk just slightly to suppress a grin. He always acted like this when I was angry. I hated it when people found my irritation amusing, it made me want to stomp my feet and throw a tantrum like an angry child.

"Not all of us have the luxury of reading minds, maybe you should take that into consideration." I snapped – but the burning anger was fading, and suddenly I felt guilty for overreacting about something so juvenile.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me apologetically. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed back – all was forgiven. No matter what Edward did, in his presence every part of me found its rightful place in his arms as if there were no other option.

"Forgive me?" He asked – shooting me an irresistible pout.

I sighed and kissed him again. "I'm sorry for freaking out. I'm just really stressed with all of this…"

"Next time I'll tell you." He amended.

I nodded with a smile, taking note of his eyes. They weren't the normal topaz color, but were slowly fading into a darker color…amber was the closest thing I could relate to, and that wouldn't do its justice.

"You need to hunt."

"It can wait."

"Are you sure? We can meet with my mother tomorrow." I said – trying to remain hopeful he might fall for the bait.

Of course he didn't.

"You're not getting off that easy." He grinned "Go take a shower, I know you want to and it will help you relax. I'll get us settled here while you shower then we can go."

I liked how he said "us." A shower did seem like a good idea, and the fact that it was _my_ shower made the thought even more temptuous. Even though the Cullen's shower (even if space-ship was a more accurate description) would probably have been most people's dream-shower, I found it to be a little clunky and over the top. I was looking forward to my big, but very simple shower. The thought crossed my mind to try to get Edward to join me – but he didn't even give me the opportunity to fantasize.

"Don't even think about it" he said, starting to unpack some of the clothes that we'd both brought into a cabinet near my bed. I watched as he efficiently and effortlessly refolded the clothes and placed them in their allotted place in some sort of organized manner that I would undoubtedly ruin. I watched, enraptured by the innocent activity. I loved everything he did. _I loved him_. Every part of him. And suddenly – I was excited to show him what life was like here in Hong Kong. In fact, I was so proud of that fact that he was _mine_ a very, very small part of me wanted my mother to meet him.

Yea. It was good to be home.

I'm not sure what a heart attack feels, but this is how I always imagined it. There was a sinking pain in my chest. My heart was beating so fast that I forgot to breathe occasionally – Edward was always quick to remind me.

Edward sat coolly in the corner of the elevator, his hands were wrapped around the bar while he watched me pace back and forth. His eyes were slowly growing to a darker shade – I was betting they would be black after this caucus. I really wished that he would have gone hunting….No one could guess how Eliziah would react to this, and we should have been as prepared as possible.

"I'll be fine." He reminded me for the thousandth time.

For very obvious reasons, I never brought any sort of romantic interest home, granted there had never really been a _romantic_ interest before. But even if there was I wouldn't even consider bringing them to meet her. She tended to have a very dismissive attitude whenever I should introduce her to anything new. I guess dismissive was preferable to raging anger.

The doors opened and a new level of panic grew in me. Could it really be floor 64 already?

The little counter said 37 – And then there was a beautiful young woman in front of me. She was probably a model, half of the offices in this building were somehow fashion-oriented. Unfortunately for her, I didn't care about anything right now except for being alone. I glared at her, making no attempt to hide _any_ of my features and watched her quickly look away and choose another elevator once we made eye contact.

Edward's presence was suddenly behind me. He let his arms hang around my neck and placed his cheek against mine, the coolness of it made me realize how warm I was getting… probably the pacing. I immediately relaxed at Edward's touch and wrapped his arms more securely around my neck, leaning into his stiff frame.

He whispered into my ear "That wasn't very nice" his words would have been reprimanding if he didn't sound so amused.

"Guess not. But I'm like one crisis away from losing complete control."

"And what horrors would befall of us if that were to happen?"

"Hm…" And I tried to think the last time I felt this nervous – so nervous that even maintaining an illusion felt like a nearly impossible task.

It was about a year ago, I was still living in Hong Kong then. Life was the same boring blunder day after day. Everything seemed so much more…_insignificant_ now that Edward was a part of my life.

I was careful to spare Edward some of the more gruesome details. The last thing I needed right now was to make him upset too. That was the day when the topic of my moving was decided, and it was not in my favor. There was no reason for me to leave Hong Kong, the man who had personally made my life hell for the passed 5 had grown tired of me. For the first time in my adult life - I was free.

I didn't even have time to celebrate because there he was in the middle of my mother's studio. There must have been forty people flitting around wildly hoping to appease her – but he was the only one I saw. He was older, forty five going on fifty, in an expensive suit that was common amongst businessmen in Hong Kong. He'd started to gray in his old age even though no one would have dared to point that out. His eyes were only for me…I didn't really escape. The realization that nothing had changed – that nothing would _ever_ change hit me harder than any information I'd encountered up to that point.

I swam in worry and anxiety for those brief seconds and knew that my true features were showing. I didn't need to worry about that…because something worse happened. Much worse.

Something inside me faltered. It wasn't like there was an explosion or if something broke, quite the contrary. It felt as though….I'd had my hand balled up in a fist for a prolonged period of time and then just released it. It felt like I was letting go – like I could breathe to my full capability for the first time in my life.

At the time it just felt like a surge of relief, I didn't even the consequences of such a glorious sense of alleviation. There was a thick scent of Jasmine in the air that I could have sworn was exuding from me. I was still lost in my own little world so it took me longer than it should have to realize what I'd done.

I watched helplessly from my seat, everyone around me piled on top of each other aggressively. They were all pulling, no…ripping clothes off of one another in a desperate attempt for physical contact. Initially it seemed like they were going for the kill. That probably one have been welcome – a comfort knowing that _I_ hadn't been the catalyst for such behavior.

This crazed lust seemed contagious, passing from one person to another with just the slightest graze of the flesh like some mutated STD. They thirsted on one another desperate to appease the mind numbing desire that would make them ache down to their very core. All of these upstanding professionals succumbed to their desires and quickly formed nothing less than a massive orgy.

The room no longer smelled of jasmine but of sex. I'd ruined everyone's career in this room just by taking a breath. I probably should have stayed and watched – after all – it was the honorable thing to do, considering I had single handedly destroyed all of their careers, the least I could do was watch the act so guilt could consume me.

I finished playing through the story in my head after I was sure that Edward had seen all of the very graphic images. He stood unnatural still against me so that I felt he wasn't actually breathing.

"What are you thinking?"

"We're alone in an elevator." Edward commented – lust thick in his tone

"Very alone." I wondered if he would notice the rise in my voice.

"Interesting…." He mused, making a trail of icy kisses across my jaw line. Each one making my body react in a new, thrilling way.

"Are you still worried?" He whispered

"Yes." My voice was breathy.

His hand moved to my waist and lifted my shirt up just enough so his finger could play along my hip bone; dancing across the waistline of my jeans. His hand moved artfully across my midsection – both tickling and massaging at the same time. He continued kissing me until he turned my head just enough so we could stare in each other's eyes when the kisses stopped just shy of my mouth…inciting small sounds of desire from my lips.

"And now?" He grinned playfully.

"Maybe."

Then he kissed me. Our mouths connected in a rush and I immediately began to kiss back. His tongue danced around my lips and I took a deep breath through my nose; grabbing at his hair in my thoughtlessness. I was completely lost in the kiss – not thinking of any of my impending worries – _especially_ my mother. I forgot about everything…in that moment there was nothing but Edward and I. Of course, I began to push further, pressing my mouth against his aggressively unable to hold back my intense craving for him. Any second now he would pull me back with the same playful smile. Maybe even roll his eyes.

To my surprise he began to kiss with a mirrored intensity. He pulled me so close to him that _every_ part of our bodies were rubbing together. I only had a moment to realize he was as excited as I was. And then he took his hands on either side of my face, gentle as if not to break me, and slowly pulled my face off of his.

I sighed, my lips still tingling; hungry for more. Before he could even speak.

"That was all you." I warned.

"Do you feel better?"

"I do, maybe a little light headed." I joked – even though I was light headed. These rare moments where he chose to indulge me usually left a lingering amazement.

"Am I that good?" He teased.

"You have no idea." And pecked him on the lips just once before trying to fix myself so my clothes and hair didn't imply just how close I'd come to having sex in the elevator.

"Lets go face the dragon."

* * *

**Edward**

Even though I'd been spending an enormous amount of effort to ease Nathan's worries, once we entered his mother's studio I feared he may have been right. Eliziah's 'assistant' guided us from the entrance to a room that was unfamiliar even to Nathan.

To call this room extravagant wouldn't quite explain it. Everything was impeccably designed. Our shoes clinked rhythmically on the coral-colored marble floor. This appeared to be some sort of banquet hall for weddings, decorated with tables throughout the room as well as a fountain that was far too large for the room. The fountain was dressed in gold and shined different colors depending where you were. It was easily fifteen feet tall – and seemed oversized even with the massive ceilings of this room.

All of this superfluous decor seemed utterly insignificant in comparison to the person in the center of the room. There was a woman that I assumed to be Nathan's mother sitting curtly in a leather armchair drinking tea in silence. Her thoughts were just as muffled as Nathan's thoughts had been when I first met him.. She was even more beautiful than I had expected.

Eliziah had long blonde hair so vibrant that it seemed unnatural. Yet if you were to compare her with many of the modern day 'bottled blondes' this bizarre and seemingly manmade hue would put them to shame. I knew from Nathan's unique hair color that this wasn't something that could be achieved in a salon – this was her natural hair.

It was clear she had no intention of addressing us, so Nathan ushered me to a seat and took his own, quickly dismissing her assistant. I watched speculatively and let Nathan handle the situation – his mind was racing with potential ways to handle her. I was left confused as I examined her more closely. Her skin seemed to be the most pronounced difference when comparing Nathan to his mother.

When Nathan said'She's more Sidhe than me' I didn't fully grasp what he meant, but mostly disregarded it. Nathan had a habit of not seeing himself clearly and so I took this as just another example of that. Now it made perfect sense…many features of Nathan's were exaggerated but never so out of the ordinary – with the exception of his eyes.

Nathan was just beautiful…but his mother didn't appear as human. Her skin was flecked with sprinkles of gold that I couldn't exactly explain. Whenever she moved just slightly there would be a small glisten of golden sparkles dancing across her porcelain skin as if she was covered in glitter. This glitter however…looked more like jewels than some sort of cheap imitation.

"Hello Mother." Nathan finally greeted – grabbing my hand under the table for support.

Now Eliziah looked up at her son for the first time since we'd entered this massive space, so large it was hard to even call it a room. Just like her son, Eliziah's eyes carried intense strains of gold, a very deep forest green, and finishing with the palest jade…as if someone had melted a stone in a glass of milk.

_This is bad. She knows you aren't human or there is no way she would have dropped her shine._

Shine? Did he mean the illusion?

"Mother…where's your…shine?"

"No sense in hiding the truth from Edward. He already knows." She smiled exuberantly at me and extended a petite hand in my direction.

I took her hand and shook it delicately. The touch of her skin was softer than anything I'd ever felt, it was as if the most gentle of flower petals had literally coated her skin. For the moment I couldn't concentrate on anything but the tactile sensation that trailed down my hand.

_She's rolling you_ Nathan growled. But it seemed very insignificant at t he time…I ignored his comment and just stared at her for a moment.

"If you want to play games, we're leaving right now." Nathan clearly agitated. He squeezed my hand and suddenly I was aware of both him and my surroundings. I politely returned my hand to my lap, admittedly, a bit shaken.

"I'm sorry, sometimes I don't know my own strength." She said in a very polite tone. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Edward."

"Its nice to meet your acquaintance, Ms. Ayre." Keeping my tone utmost polite.

"Or maybe I should be Ms. Alden? That is what they're calling you in Forks right?" She looked to Nathan – clearly impressed with her little joke.

"That won't be necessary" I grinned.

Nathan rolled his eyes but kept quiet. He was under the impression this visit was so Eliziah could talk to me – she would catch up with him later.

"Well, since Nathan took it upon himself to share our secret with you" She scolded Nathan, but looked at me while she said it. "What are your thoughts?"

Nathan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

_Such a bad idea…This is miserable. I can't wait to go back_ he repeated to himself. I looked over to him for just a fraction of a second – you would have never guessed he was anything but pleasant. I guess wearing emotions on your sleeve wasn't an option for his kind either.

"I wouldn't change a thing about him." I said with a smile, trying to keep the intensity of my words to an appropriate level.

"Granted – my mind drifted to Aliens first. So I was pleased to find out I was wrong."

She smiled politely "I'm surprised at your self control. I've had my eye on your family since that one night, with your brother. I haven't had any encounters with your kind personally…although my sister was acquainted…in a way."

I drifted to that night…The image of Nathan's lifeless body and Jasper just second's from killing him still haunted me. Every day I waited for a change of heart, or even on a whim for one of my family members to kill Nathan. It felt like a ticking time bomb – eventually Nathan's luck would run out…

My mood took a turn for the moroes, it was best if I could avoid sharing too much at this point, in case she could detect my mood. _I was so blind_ right now. This was such a completely different entitiy. Sure I'd been confused by Nathan. However Nathan didn't have as much…experience as his mother. With time and observations eventually body language is just as easy to read as thoughts themselves. So the question was, could she read me like a book? Perhaps I was overreacting…

"Oh really? How did that happen?" I asked – genuinely curious.

Eliziah's eyes flickered for the briefest of seconds, if I didn't know better I would have already dismissed what she was about to say as a lie. But then she sat pensively for atleast a minute – her bejeweled eyes wavered with emotion.

She took a deep breath and began to speak.

_I haven't heard this story…_

"Like our mother, my sister fell in love with a human. I suppose it is something nearly inevitable, for those of us who allow ourselves the luxury of love. Of course I met a human as well. But my encounter was one more of lust – Erika had gone as far as marrying her husband. I still don't understand why she got so attached, he would inevitably grow old and die – while she would live forever."

I felt the raging sense of loss echo through Nathan. I watched his thoughts while he pictured an old and decrepit man slowly fading away…and then there I was…

Nathan closed off the image and all I heard was the muffled sound of his thoughts when I went to pry.

I'd considered this fact. I would be there for Nathan as long as he wanted me. Watch him grow old and die…growing old did not bother me. No matter what changed about Nathan, he would always be the most beautiful and perfect being in my life. And when the time came for him to die…I would not be far behind him.

It hadn't occurred to me that he would have already considered this. And he didn't approach it as fondly as I had, the emotions that were running through his head were darker than I'd ever seen from him. I was so lost in thought I realized I was missing the story…I dismissed the thought for now – But I would have to discuss this with Nathan…

" –They went to the Americas's – since that was the free new world so to speak. Everything seemed to be working out for them. America was this paradise compared to France. They had a pair of twins, just like Erika and I. Of course it was a shock to us all at the time. Reproduction in our kind is exceptionally rare. All we really have to go by are dated stories passed down generation from generation, but the fact that both my sister and I were blessed with children is most likely attributed to Fertility deities in our ancestry.

"A long story short – Erika's husband was killed by a Vampire. We were so ignorant then. Of course just _our_ folklore happened to be true but of course werewolves, vampires, were just popularized by stories to scare children. We didn't consider even one those faerie tales, excuse the pun, were a possibility. But Erika had the sight just as I do – just a different version so to speak… She could see things of the past. And once she saw her husband's body she saw his death from beginning to end. It truly haunted her…

"Erika's gifts were always suited for battle. I have no idea what predetermines our fate but it seemed so out of place, she was always the most compassionate of us all. She detested violence in all its forms. And then it was suddenly clear once Gerald was killed. She took on a new identity entirely…she sent her two daughters to France with me and went off by herself to commit some sort of spiritual mission.. We always communicated through dreams, with no phones and letters being far too inconvenient. I'm sure you understand what that was like."

She grinned in my direction. I wondered how much she knew about us…I glanced over to Nathan and who had an unreadable expression, I turned back to look at her while she continued with this epic tale.

"She completely succumbed to vengeance. And then it all became obvious, you see…We don't always grow into ourselves until much later in life. There always has to be some catalyst for you to become fully Sidhe, to come into your power if you will. The catalyst was obviously the death of her one and true loved one, and ever since that day she lived and breathed nothing but vengeance for ten years. She killed _many_ of your kind, countless numbers. Of course Vampires are fearsome but they just couldn't defend themselves against her…abilities. Sidhe are rare enough that in battle we almost always have the element of surprise.

"Who would have guessed that your brother had crossed her path? I was so worried once I realized what happened…" She looked to Nathan with concern thick in her eyes.

Jasper popped into my head – and I couldn't help but stiffen to realize he had been right all this time…

"Nate hasn't come into his power yet…I was prepared for the worst." She looked down ashamed. Nathan was a pale shade of green. He gulped while his heart-beat fluttered, his hands were starting to grow clammy in mine as he fidgeted uncomfortably. _What was he thinking?_ I fumed to myself. He always hid himself from me at the most inopportune times.

I couldn't shake off the fear that had been in Jasper's eyes once he thought Nathan was a creature. Of course I just assumed he was mistaken – but now…sitting next to Nathan…How badly had I underestimated him? Was he truly as fragile as I had imagined?

"I really didn't expect it. The odds of someone surviving Erika's wrath was rare enough…and for them to be in some homogenous cesspool like Forks Washington? Regardless…You have my eternal gratitude Edward. Anything I can freely give is yours, you have kept Nate safe and have sacrificed so much to protect him..." Emotion cut her apology short, she smiled sheepishly – fresh tears coating her eyes.

"Your approval of our relationship would be more than I could ever ask for." My words were for Eliziah but I kept my eyes on Nathan – he looked nearly as emotional as his mother.

She smiled "You deserve much more than that."

"Nate…Maybe you should visit Jessica, she should be in the studio. She'd love to see you."

"I'll visit when we're done here." He said stiffly.

"Please…There is something I need to discuss with Edward. A vision about his family, I think its best in private…"

Nathan looked at me – the uncertainty in his eyes was abundantly clear.

_Nod if you're okay with this. I don't think it's a very good idea…_

I nodded once with an encouraging smile on my lips, Alice's warning clear in my memory.

'_His mother if going to want to talk to you in private…I don't know if its something that you want to know or not, but it has to do with Nathan."_

Yes. I had to know.

"I'll be with you in a couple of minutes." I smiled while he got up and lingered for a second too long, debating whether kissing me would be appropriate in front of his mother. In the end he just walked away, lightly brushing my cheek with his finge tips. Then all that was left of him was the clicking sound of his shoes on the hard marble.

He took several more steps before the door slammed shut. I really didn't want to deal with this right now with Nathan obviously upset. I reassured myself that this would only take a few minutes and I would be back with Nathan.

"Sorry for the ominous request for privacy…But there are some things Nate isn't prepared to hear." She warned, taking a sip of her tea while she analyzed my every movement.

"It isn't a problem…What is it exactly? You mentioned my family?"

I quickly considered all of the possibilities that would be important enough for her to request privacy. But then again, if she was even half as skilled as Nathan at bending the truth (which I had no doubt she was) it was probably a stretch.

"Well, It wasn't _exactly_ about your family. Its actually about Nate." She said in the most serious tone. She'd gone from completely polite to the dead-pan that immortals are quite capable of in seconds.

"We are truly immortal. Unlike Vampires, of course you don't age…but my kind truly do not die. And because of that reason Sidhe are capable of ridding of themselves…And that is why my sister in no longer with us….after she completed what she felt to be right she left us" She sighed and looked like she debated on telling me the truth – but continued.

"After a certain point being immortal can be more of a punishment than a blessing…I know you understand what I mean. But once a Sidhe has absolutely no desire to live – they feel as though they served their purpose and want nothing more to depart this world… they do. It was as if they never existed…We go back into the earth and wait to be reborn. It's a painless and sudden process once it has been genuinely decided."

"If I may be so bold – Why does this story pertain to me?"

"It may not pertain to you now….but it will in time"


	15. Date

_This is definitely shorter than most of the chapters but I wanted something short and very...fluffy to counter the angst that keeps on occuring :)_

_I don't have much to say about it except that I think its adorable, and to look forward to more similar moments between the two!_

* * *

**Nathan**

Edward and I were curled up in my bed in the same . I put in for a change of pace; but for the life of me I couldn't even remember what we were watching. I don't think we've actually ever _watched_ a movie, we had better things to do that occupy our time. Edward should have a warning label attached to him. 'Kissing this man may result in minor loss of brain function, short term memory loss, and greatly increased promiscuity.'

It took a lot of trial and error, and I mean _a lot_ of errors before we found a perfect middleground. The middleground was somewhere between Edward enjoying himself, and Edward taking a bit bite out of me…it isn't a surprise that I was partial to the first choice. Because Edward had absolutely forbidden anything other than kissing – it seemed to be my life's mission to make kissing as thrilling as possible. It really wasn't a difficult task, I'm almost positive I'm never going to grow tired of the sensation and taste of his lips. Some things were too good to be true, but the best part about it was, Edward was _too good_ – and yet he was incredibly real.

With a little concentration I intensified our kiss. In the beginning I didn't make the feeling mutual – kissing was so could I couldn't possibly concentrate – it was difficult enough to focus when I wasn't making our little games even more enjoyable. I wanted to extend our kiss to reach every part of his body. \I wanted the opportunity to caress every single inch of his perfect physique – and I'd _tried_ – but he usually stopped me the second he realized my intentions.

"Ready?" I grinned.

"As I'll ever be."

"Just don't try to eat me this time yea?" I teased.

Edward's lips moved into a flat line "Not funny."

"Definitely was." I mused, and closed my eyes.

I closed my eyes and could feel an energy encircling us. It felt like a cool wind with a strangely tactile sense to it. I should have been more careful of my positioning before I started this, I was suddenly _very_ aware that I was straddling Edward. Remember Nate. He'll just stop you if you try anything, I tried to remind myself and ignore the naughty things running through my head. Taking a deep breath, I leaned in for a kiss.

The second Edward's lips brushed mine I was certain that I would lose control. At first the kiss was completely innocent – however the response that it called up from us had _nothing_ innocent about it. Our chaste embrace almost made Edward's body spasm, I could feel him fighting the rushes of pleasure that slithered across his body. Up until this point I wasn't _exactly_ sure what affect he was feeling, all that I knew was that it was definitely felt good.

_Good_ didn't quite cover it. It was as if the impossibly smooth and cool texture of Edward's lips were gently massaging every inch of my body. It felt so real…and that was the beauty of the illusion, but more importantly, it was so _potent_ that I had to open my eyes to make sure he wasn't playing some sort of vampire sex-trick on me. Nope, he definitely wasn't. I guess my faerie sex-tricks were more than enough.

I couldn't breathe even though it was just one simple kiss, I don't think either of us were willing or ready to go for something more intimate than that one kiss.

Edward literally gasped for air as if he needed it. My skin was so hot – it felt like there was fire somewhere in the room that I couldn't see. I rested my cheek on Edward's chest, letting his chilling abdomen slowly seep through into my skin when I laughed somewhat crazily.

"So that's what I've been putting you through the past hour?"

"…yes." He admitted – still having difficult forming words while he put his arms around me.

"I'd apologize, but I think it feels pretty damn good."

"Words can't even describe. You're truly amazing, love." He kissed my forehead, and I could feel the smile on his lips. "But I think we should take a break…"

"Seconded." I sighed.

We sat quietly for a couple of minutes while Edward was probably trying not to suck my blood; I was still appreciating the coolness of his body.

"What would you like to do now? Its only 7:00"

I tried to think of the last time we went out somewhere, it had to be a long time ago because it wasn't a clear memory. Probably a month when we both went to Seattle. I guess it was just hard to budget time to leave Forks or really go out to eat, since Edward didn't eat. We were both always so content with each other's company there was so rarely a need to go anywhere.

"How about…a date?" I asked in an uncertain voice.

"A date?" He grinned. "What do you have in mind?"

"Mmm" I thought out loud, not like I needed to with Edward. "Dinner… then a walk along the harbor sound human enough?" I asked – still straddling him.

"Very human" He agreed, poking my nose childishly.

And then I began to think about how it was fashion week. I suppressed a groan – there were always people taking pictures of anyone wearing something that even resembled designer origins. I wasn't a celebrity by any means – but I have googled myself a couple of times just out of curiosity. I was shocked at the amount of hits and _pictures_ that were readily available for anyone to see, it was actually very creepy. How would Edward feel, if the rare chance that someone take interest in us, and they took a picture?"

"This is going to be stupid…But promise not to laugh."

"I'd never laugh at you." Edward promised in a very serious face.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, better to just get the question over with…"If someone were to take a picture of you…would you show up?"

Of course he laughed.

I scowled while he laughed so loud that I was shaking from his belly buckling. His laugh was so infectious that I had to fight the desire to join in.

"I'll take that as a yes then.

"You'd be correct." He smiled, and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek.

Going out had been a great idea on my part. It was so nice to get away from Forks and actually experience _culture_. I guess you could call Forks a culture within itself, but every time I'd been to America their culture seemed to be more of an absence of culture if anything, living in a small town only magnified that feeling. Culture wasn't the only thing I was excited to experience. But _real_ Chinese food! I could tell Edward found my excitement over something so minute amusing but I didn't care, I wasn't going anywhere near the monstrosity that was Chinese food in forks.

Edward insisted that we take a cab even though I was perfectly comfortable in the weather. I had the car drop us off at the harbor so we could get away from the bright lights of Hong Kong temporarily. The lights had started to bother me, oh god, I refuse to become some sort of small town guy. I dismissed the thought while we walked on the edge of the blue ocean. The water was decorated with yachts, no doubt housing the social elite, I was actually pretty sure my mother was on one of those right now. All the more reason to avoid them.

This area of Hong Kong had always been one of my favorites. Most people never really ventured in these areas, not because it was unsafe, just that it was primarily fishermen who occupied these harbors. Sure it kind of smelled of fish, but that gave the space its own personality. Edward and I walked next to one another at a slower than normal pace – I was so distracted by the itching in my hand. For most our little field-trip I'd had the insane desire to grab his hand while we walked, it had just become second nature, as if his hand simply belonged in mine.

Alas, another complication in our relationship made this confusing. You'd think it would be enough that neither of us were human – but of course the fact that we were both men made me really uncertain of some things. I was definitely insecure; sometimes afraid he really didn't like men, that he would flee to some random beautiful vampire girl. Or even worse, fear. Afraid that he really didn't like me, I'd just bespelled him like some human. I was pretty sure that wasn't the case…but the guilt of the possibly still ate at me occasionally.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" He asked – his eyes paying attention to the hundreds of lights prancing about on the water's surface.

"Would you be upset if we held hands?"

Edward looked into my eyes curiously. "Why on earth would that upset me?" He sounded exasperated.

"I don't know…I mean, two guys being together isn't exactly kosher to a lot of people. I don't want you tarnishing your image, or if you're embarrassed or something."

I'd actually been intending to have this conversation for quite a while. It was just so easily avoidable because we needed to be careful how we acted in Forks simply because word traveled so fast and we were careful to maintain our own separate facades. Plus we didn't go out much in Forks anyway – we found many ways to entertain ourselves when left to our own devices.

"What? What have I done to make you even consider that would bother me?"

I looked down at the ground while we walked – suddenly embarrassed at my own insecurities.

"Nothing…I just didn't want to make life any more difficult for you."

Edward stopped walking and without any warning grasped both of my shoulders, forcing me to look him in the eyes. If didn't know any better I would have been afraid of his crazed expression. I tried to look down, it was too hard for me to look into his ocher eyes with evidence so clear that I'd hurt him, but he took an icey finger and lifted my chin up.

"Nathan…nothing matters but you. You are my life now, I've never felt so happy in my entire existence I can't even begin to explain….I've gone through so many changes since we've met, there are literally no decisions I make without your interest – or the fact that _you will be with me_ in mind. I'm so in love with you it makes the world feel as though nothing is impossible. And the best part is…I know this feeling will never go away."

There were so many things I wanted to say at that moment. None of them seemed to do my emotions justice – so I did the only thing that made sense at the time. I let him read my every thought, my every emotion, so that perhaps he could understand even a fraction of what I felt for him. Although I'm sure nothing poetic came from it, because mentally I was just repeating "I love him so much. I love you. I love you. I love him…" over and over.

He took my hand and we both smiled in unison. If this had been a movie I know it would have been the perfect time for a kiss, but it just didn't make sense for us. Our eyes could explain things to each other that our lips would never be able to express – the two of us just stood there hand in hand in an absence of time while we shared this connection.

Edward grinned sideways which seemed out of character for what we were both feeling.

"Nathan…dear…"

"What?" I asked – trying to keep the worry that was starting to scare away the butterflies from appearing in my voice.

"You're glowing brighter than the fluorescents…" He scolded – but he was still all smiles while he held me.

"Oh…Sorry." I muttered.

"To say you wear your emotions on your sleeve would be an understatement."

"I'll stop doing that someday."

"I hope not." Edward teased – but he sounded like he really meant it.

I eventually got my glowing down to the level of a baby lightning bug. Sometimes it was just uncontrollable, and to be honest, I didn't want to have to suppress that flying ecstacy that was tickling all over my body. It was something that I still, and hopefully never, would get used to…It was being in love.

We took a seat on one of the docks and exchanged stories, laughed, and enjoyed silences together for hours. No one came to bother us – it was just me and two things I loved. Edward and Hong Kong. And if I do say so myself, the two go together swimmingly.


	16. Mortality

_Hi everyone! Sorry for taking a while to update, I haven't had quite as time to write with classes in session and such. But I'm still really dedicated to getting a chapter out at least one a week. Last chapter was really kind of fluffy and happy, so this balances it out with some important plot developments._

_This is chapter is really opening the door to some new plot motifs that are going to carry over until the end of the story, especially when considering the relationship between Edward and Nathan._

_Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

**Nathan**

I hurriedly my teeth and washed my face. The water against my skin felt good, I always loved the act of washing my face in the morning. Obviously, the purpose was to wipe the dirt off your face but it seemed so therapeutic than that. Maybe it was because washing my face was always the one time in the day that I could see my true self in the mirror. That wasn't quite as significant anymore – actually - I've been spending literally every moment I could with Edward. When I was with Edward, there was no reason to hide.

This time I didn't focus on my features – but the necklace that hung around my neck. My fingers played against the cold metal of the dog-tag as I appreciated it from the mirror. I smiled, the cool features of the necklace reminded me of Edward. In the nine days I've had this necklace I'd memorized every single feature of it so I would never forget. Just in case it was all still a dream. My finger played against the name 'Henry Mason.' Just thinking of the name made my stomach churn not out of fear – but it reminded me of Edward.

That's right! Edward would be here any minute. I purposefully left the window open so he could slip through after my Aunt went to bed. I'd insisted that he could just walk through the door; that she really wouldn't mind, but Edward was against the idea. He said it 'wasn't traditional.' I guess sneaking through windows was a more acceptable? I know. It doesn't make sense.

I took a double take in the mirror to make sure I didn't look _too_ awful. On one hand I felt entirely myself with Edward, but that also made me feel much more vulnerable. He always made me feel self conscious. I guess dating someone who looked like a Greek god gave people these sort of complexes.

All I was wearing was a pair of sweats of the necklace Edward had given me. I eyed the the dark iron of the necklace and how it contrasted with the porcelain quality to my skin. Edward wasn't usually pleased when I walked around without a shirt on – when he first said it...well, I could still feel the fresh sting of rejection. Actually, it still kind of did whenever he asked me to put a shirt on. But he's assured me _countless_ times that it made it difficult for him to concentrate. So it was only natural that I exploited that at every given opportunity.

I walked back into my room; a bit quicker than I normally would have if. My entire body relaxed when I saw Edward lounging on my bead, his hands tucked behind the back of his head. I stood there taking in every inch of him and could feel the dull warmth thrumming from my skin. The porcelain coloring from my skin was probably producing a faint glow. I shrugged and walked toward him.

"Good evening." He smiled.

"Hey you"

I stalked toward my bed and straddled him playfully; biting my lip in reluctance. It was a habitual motion that I was usually unsure of, but Edward seemed to like this look _very much_. He eyed me apprehensively to let me know that he knew _exactly_ what I was up to. I leaned into a kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, taking in the familiar coolness of his skin.

He playfully kissed me over and over again inbetween every word "You…are…impossible…" and lifted me effortlessly so he could buckle his hands at my lower back. I jumped at the initial coldness of them but quickly recovered.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I teased.

"Mmhm."

I sighed and rolled over,use him as a pillow. I grunted slightly while repositioning myself, I'd been fighting the fact that I was both sleep deprived _and _jetlagged the past few days since our return. Not to mention the recovery time from the constant stress of worrying about Edward's family Hong Kong.

"You're tired."

I sighed "I am…but I don't want to go to bed yet."

"You should, you need your rest."

"Not yet" I insisted stubbornly, holding onto him just a bit tighter.

He sighed and stroked my arm gingerly while I forced myself to stay awake. Ever since Edward met my mother I'd been sure to keep him shut out of my thoughts. There were way too many things going on in my head right now, Edward would hear something that I would rather kept hidden.

I'm going to die.. Every second of the day I was growing older and older while _everyone_ around me stayed beautiful and healthy. I would have to sit there and watch everyone remain the same…

I wiped a fresh tear from my eyes before Edward had the opportunity to notice of. Even though I'd shut myself from him he was still analyzing my every move. He could probably smell the tears fresh on the back of my hand.

"Are you crying?" He asked carefully.

I ignored his question; every part of me wishing that I could lie right now. He would believe me, if only I could say no…

"Its nothing to worry about, I'm tired."

Edward pulled me up to a seated position so fast that I felt dizzy, his yellow eyes leaking with concern while he analyzed my entire being. "What is it?" he asked – his hands firmly planted on my shoulders.

I _really_ didn't want to admit to this right now. It sounded like such a petty and irrational fear, it wasn't something that would even affect me in the next 5 maybe 10 years. And yet I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my cousins were immortal and I _wasn't_. Time would be the only thing that proved to be true – but the immortal do not get sick, they don't need to eat or sleep. None of these trivial human concerns mattered, and as much as I loved Edward with my entire being, it was a constant reminder of my complete inferiority.

"Its stupid…" I whispered – avoiding his eyes.

"_Please_. " he begged. His topaz eyes were burning with desperation while he gazed at me worriedly. "Its killing me not knowing whats going on."

"Do you promise not to get upset?" I looked down at my fingers which were nervously playing with eachother while both my heart and thoughts raced faster and faster.

"I'll try my best." But this time he sounded reserved, his eyes hiding something.

I sighed.

"This is going to sound so stupid." I warned.

"Just get on with it." Edward rolled his eyes

"Okay, well…When we met with my mom…it was just a reminder of how erm..pathetic I am.

Edward moved to interrupt me but I held my hand up to stop him.

"No. Its true. I always was kind of felt comforted by the fact that it wasn't me that was faulty but the Sidhe blood was just too diluted. It was only a matter of time before our line wasn't immortal anymore. It was never a concern…but…

"To be honest being mortal has never bothered me, in fact I've always been slightly grateful. Sure there are perks – but I never ever want to turn out like my mother – alone forever. And then I met you…and you'll never grow old, you'll always beautiful. And I'll slowly decay just like a _human_"

I spat the word like it was dirty and repositioned myself just slightly, too afraid to look into Edward's eyes. I was ready for him to scold or reprimand me – maybe even get up and leave. To my surprise his hands covered me in a tight hug while we sat in silence. It was hard to focus on anything but the sensation of my bare chest against the stiff exterior of his. But I didn't want to feel that, all I wanted to feel was the pain that had been aching me since I discovered the harsh reality, and only one thing he could say would change that.

"I'll be here with you as long as you want me. I'll never leave you." He whispered into my ear; holding me just as tightly as before.

"And when I'm old enough to be your grandfather?" I muttered.

"I'll still love you. You are the most beautiful and important thing in the world to me – that will never change, regardless of how old you are."

I tried to push myself out of his hug but was literally trapped in his grasp – he didn't budge in the slightest when I tried to squirm out. Only then did he notice and hesitantly let go, his eyes careful for my reaction.

"Do you honestly think I could do that? Just thinking about it makes me want to die…I couldn't handle that…" I said, trying to swallow the lump that was slowly building in my throat. No. I will not cry over this.

"Don't say that…" Edward reached out to me and took my hand, covering both sides of it with his while he played with my fingers idly. "What would you have of me?" he asked, but didn't sound like he really meant it…

"There's one way…" I whispered so quietly a human wouldn't have heard it, genuinely scared of what his reaction would be.

Edward's jaw stiffened immediately. "No."

"Why does our love need to be one short lifetime? I could be like you Edward…you wouldn't be sacrificing anything anymore."

Edward didn't move a muscle, he sat there perfectly still while he stared off into space. His expression remained icey when he looked at me shaking his head just slightly. "You have no idea what you're asking for…"

"Teach me then!" I begged

"No. We aren't even going to have this discussion Nathan. Its not going to happen – end of story."

I looked away from Edward so he wouldn't see the tears that had developed. The rejection stung fresh, however irrational it felt like he didn't want to be with me forever, that his feelings for me weren't as intense as mine for him. I clenched my fists so maybe my frustration could focus on something other that the tears that I was refusing to let escape.

I wasn't crying because I was sad or upset, even though Edward's dismissal bothered me more than it should have. I was pissed off. Why couldn't I be like most people and just want to punch something when these emotions came forth? Well, actually, I did want to punch something. Hard. But even when most logic has escaped me I can't bring myself to break something. Sure I was mostly human, but I could punch a hole in the wall without hurting my hand.

Being stressed, emotional, and tired to not make a good combination. My emotional state right now was making me even more exhausted; to the point where my blinks were lasting five to ten seconds.

"Are you still upset?" Edward asked carefully – I could feel his hands hovering near me but afraid to touch me and provoke another outburst.

"Yes." I sighed and went back to his arms with my eyes closed. I couldn't explain… no matter how angry or betrayed I felt by Edward it didn't even compare to the idea of not being around him. His presence grounded me – causing physiological response. I could feel my breathing slowing down while I closed my eyes.

Edward lifted me up just enough to make me grumble and put a blanket over both of us. I smiled as I felt him tucking the covers in my sides…he took such good care of me. Suddenly I was guilty for putting him in such a situation…

"I'm sorry." I muttered, my voice thick with impending sleep.

"Me too." He kissed my hair and stayed in that position for a little bit. "But I'm not budging on this."

"Me either." I smiled into his chest, rubbing my face into him in a feline way while I repositioned myself to get comfortable.

"Then love…I believe we are at an _impasse_."

"That's okay."

Edward seemed to contemplate for a moment before he said in an amused tone "Its not like you to give up so easily"

Of course I wasn't going to give up. I've always been incredibly stubborn; once I set my mind to something I have a hard time getting the idea out of my head. It didn't help that this idea what placed in my head from multiple sources, the most influential of those being what I'm pretty confident was a vision. Most people wouldn't have given a dream a second thought, but most people aren't Sidhe.

"Because I know I'm going to win." I said smugly – although I bet it was hard to take me seriously, being half unconscious and all.

"Why's that?" Edward still sounded amused – but there was an undercurrent of annoyance in his voice.

"I saw it"

I could have sworn that Edward said something, but for the life of me I couldn't hear what. I was already asleep in his arms.

* * *

**Edward**

"Aren't you going to pick up Nate?" Jasper asked; waiting in the living room for Alice to come out.

"Not today. He insisted on driving." I smiled.

It had been an interesting night …

Nathan had left me with one of the most ambiguous, mind-racking statements I'd ever heard. _I saw it_. What exactly did that mean? Was it a dream, a fantasy, a _vision_? Had he been human I would have just forgotten it – taken it as a minute teenage rebellion. Nathan had been so confident too…he couldn't be right. Even on the very rare chance that what he saw was a vision, I am in control of my own fate. And I will never, _ever_ damn him to this life.

I was hesitant to breach the topic the second he woke up – I hated the idea of ruining the moment when he was so obviously happy. His face absolutely lit up the second he saw me.

"You're distressed." Jasper said – Eyeing me carefully.

I sighed, debating whether or not I should openly discuss the topic. I decided it was probably the best idea, if Nathan did have a vision, it was only a matter of time before Alice saw something – and when Alice saw something, Jasper would know soon after.

"Nathan…implied he had a vision.

Jasper looked pensive for a moment, but then asked.

"What about?"

"Becoming immortal."

"As a vampire?"

"Yes." I said, making a great effort to keep the growl out of my voice.

"Oh…Well, Alice hasn't seen that quite yet."

"It doesn't matter." I snapped

And then I heard the sound of tires pulling up into the house. No thoughts accompanying the car…it had to be Nathan. It was very out of character for him to wake up at 6 am like he did this morning, usually he wasn't even _conscious_ until thirty minutes before classes started. I muttered a good-bye to Jasper and walked out the door, careful to remember my jacket…I was pretty sure it would still be cold outside.

Nathan's black Saturn ion pulled into my drive at a glacial pace. I couldn't help but laugh at his zombie like-expression in front of the wheel, he looked as though he was in another place entirely.

"What's so funny?" He asked – going in for a kiss once I slid into the passenger's seat. His lips left a lingering sensation that fled through my entire body – making it difficult to ignore his presence. I'd brought it up several times; mildly suspicious that he was making this difficult so he could 'have his way with me' as he often teased, but it seemed to be just a part of him. At first it tormented me…after more practice, I had to admit I'd grown attached to the sensation.

"You look like the undead." I grinned.

"I'll take that as a compliment, since all the undead _I_ know are exceedingly, breathtakingly, beautiful. One in particular…Just can't take my eyes off of him." He mused, reaching over to kiss me again.

"So why are you here so early, not that I'm complaining. But we have almost two hours until classes start…"

"I need coffee." He said looking at me – his tone utterly serious.

"Come inside, we have a french press…And coffee beans…somewhere I'm sure. I think Esme bought some recently just in case."

"Well, by coffee, I meant _Starbucks_." He sighed, embarrassed to admit it.

I could feel my lips curl into a smile even though I tried to fight it, knowing he would take offense.

"There isn't a Starbucks in Forks."

"That's why I have Sheryl!" He said smugly, gesturing toward the GPS that Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper got him for Christmas. Nathan had been right, I always drove when it was the two of us. There were plenty of reasons for this, first and foremost was always his safety, his reaction time just couldn't be compared to mine; he would always be safer when my hands were on the wheel.

He drove at a moderate speed, not slow (for humans, atleast) but certainly not fast. But worst of all, Nathan probably had the worst logistical sense I'd ever experienced in a human being. Regardless of where our route was he would find a way to get lost; even with my guidance. The GPS eased my worries on the rare occasion he was forced to drive somewhere alone.

Nathan pressed a button and said clearly "Starbucks" and waited for the GPS to set up a route. He watched it impatiently ; completely unaware of my presence for a few moments, until it set up the route and explained in a mechanical voice "Thirty four minutes until destination is reached."

Nathan groaned.

"Stupid small towns…" he muttered under his breath – turning the car around and zooming out toward the expressway.

We drove mostly in silence, I all but begged him to let me take the wheel, he looked as though he was seconds away from falling asleep.

"Why are you so tired?"

He sighed "Keep on having these dreams…I'm not waking up in the middle of them or anything, but I always feel absolutely exhausted once I'm awake."

"What are they about?"

"I have a question first…and its really important that you answer it." He sounded so tired as he said it, but there was an edge of desperation to my voice that made me nervous. Did this have anything to do with our conversation last night?

Throughout the car ride I've been considering when and how I should bring up last night. It wasn't as simple as just bringing it up, I couldn't give him even the slightest inclination that I was even considering his offer. Once he thought I was I knew he would be relentless in his attempts to get what he wanted. But this was one of the only things that he would never ever win.

"Anything."

And then he didn't ask. It was truly maddening, even for the undead they didn't wait this long between words. He wouldn't let me read his thoughts but yet he was so inclined to make open ended demands that would leave me with nothing but raging curiosity.

"Nathan…before I go mad, please." I asked, trying not to sound as desperate as I was.

"Um…What animal did Emmett find when he went hunting last night?"

I could feel myself go still at his question. It was simple enough – Emmett and Jasper found a grizzly bear. Emmett never did get over that one time…he loved waking up the bears from their hibernation – the more agitated the more he enjoyed himself.. Not like the bear ever stood a chance; but I guess that's the closest Emmett will ever get to a fight with the exception of sparring with Jasper, and he knows Esme hates it when they do that.

"Bear –Wh" I didn't have a chance to even ask why. The second he heard the word bear Nathan slammed onto the breaks of the car – causing screech before the car came to a very, very rough stop. We were in the middle of the road at a complete stop, I would have made Nathan move the car but chances are no one would be on this road any time soon, and if there were, I would hear them before it was a problem.

Nathan stared at me wide-eyed as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Can you drive? Apparently I can't think and drive." He said irritably.

I nodded and switched seats with him – driving much faster than he had before. Saturns were terrible cars…the fact that I was even driving one bothered me. The car had little to no acceleration, the steering was dull, and it was a death trap if something hit him head on. Perhaps he wouldn't mind it if I got him a new car…

Dismissing the thought I turned to him – not even bothering to pay attention to the road or the GPS, I'd been to the Starbucks it had mentioned a year or so ago; we'd be there in ten minutes with me driving. He sat there in silence, not even bothering to look at me. He had the same blank stare that Alice tends to have whenever she's experiencing a vision – but I knew this wasn't the case. If his visions were anything like his dreams had been the passed week or so they would be violent, loud, and impossible to miss.

I watched last night as his dream followed Emmett, Jasper, and Rose hunting last night. It seemed completely coincidental. I didn't even think of the possibility of the vision because embarrassingly enough, I think I was depressed. From Nathan's reaction it seemed like it was more than a nightmare than a dream; but the unavoidable fact was that he found the way I sustained myself terrifying. Watching him jerk and groan aggressively had forced a sense of worry that had not been there before.

So naive. I had been so preoccupied by the possibility he was disgusted by the way my family fed that I hadn't even noticed how uncannily accurate the depiction of us hunting was. It even captured Emmett's hunting style, which admittedly, was not far off from his personality. Loud, audacious, and reckless. What did all of this mean? Was Nathan really having these visions? And the question was if these dreams worked like Alice's…

"Nathan…explain to me what all of this is about." I asked in a cool and reserved voice – quite the opposite of what I was feeling at this second. I watched while the speedometer inched closer to nintey-five as my mood progressed to something more unsure.

"I would, if I even knew what was going on. I've been seeing a lot of things lately…And its not really like a daydream. Usually I just know if something has or hasn't happened yet – or if its happening right now. And I just understand everything that's going on. At first I ignored it…because none of them were really relevant. But its happening more and more." He explained in a haunted tone.

"I've only seen a couple of dreams that could possibly be visions. A lot of them are nonsense." I admitted – remembering I'd never told him I could see his dreams.

"You can see my dreams?"

"Yes."

I waited for Nathan's temper to flash – he was the quintessential hormonal teenager. There was a moment of anger in his eyes but he must have suppressed it because he just sighed and started to rub his temples.

"Do you have a headache?"

"Yea, lack of sleep. I need coffee." Nathan sighed – looking at the GPS to see how far we were from his approaching caffeine-fix.

"You've barely been waking up through the night. Been talking and thrashing a lot in your sleep but once you calm down you seem to fall back into your coma."

"Okay. We'll get coffee and then talk to Alice. I can't deal with this right now."

The routine was that Nathan and I sat at our now usual table away from everyone else – today there was a change to our plans. It would also be the first time Nathan sat with the rest of my family in the cafeteria. I was pretty sure Nathan's presence wouldn't change anything – after all they'd been more than acquainted with him…and yet I couldn't help but feel nervous as to how the encounter would go. Or maybe it was what Alice's response would be – but she'd been very careful in her thoughts to avoid telling me her opinions until Nathan would be in earshot.

For the first time in a couple of weeks Nathan's friends held him up. He looked at me with pleading eyes – begging for a rescue but I wouldn't oblige. I'd been selfish enough with him lately – they just wanted to make plans with him to go to La Push, a place that I unfortunately couldn't follow.

"You're both going to sit with us?" Emmett asked – careful not to irritate me when I was already on edge.

"That's the plan."

"Its like you two _try_ to draw attention to yourselves." Rosalie grumbled

"I'm pretty sure you can't draw more attention than your Porsche did this morning Rose." Alice joked, both Emmett and Jasper laughing with her.

_Guys I __**really**__ need to go, I'll be there though. I promise_ Nathan said to his table before rushing off to our table

"Hey guys." Nathan said – and breathed a sigh of relief

"Sit." I pulled a seat from a nearby table next to me, taking extra care to look human in the process. I'm not sure if it was just how Nathan reacted to sleep deprivation but he was more than sluggish – everything about him seemed to drag while he waited for our conversation.

The heat rising off his body provoked a bizarre electric sensation that made me want to close the distance between us. I wasn't brave enough but Nathan was, he inched closer until our arms were touching when he looked at me and smiled. This was his usual smile

The smile was for me – it was just a façade but of course I could see beyond that simple gesture. He carried a pain in his eyes when he looked at me – an emotion that he was carefully hiding from me since we returned to Hong Kong. Unfortunately he was very hesitant to avoid any topic that would open discussion to his mood. He ignored the rest of the cafeteria, the tension in his body made it obvious he was very aware that our touch hadn't gone unnoticed. Rosalie had been right – the intimacy between Nathan and I had not been left unnoticed, I tried to tune out the gossip so we could focus with the task at hand.

Alice didn't wait for pleasantries, she started talking once he was seated.

"When did they start?"

"They've always been there, but it was a rare occurrence. Now these dreams…every night…constantly. Sometimes when I'm awake."

"Do they come out of nowhere? Are you focusing on something when they happen?"

"Always out of nowhere…" He said quietly enough that no one but my family would have heard it under the constant veil of chatter in the cafeteria.

I fought a growl that was surfacing from my throat – my body was hovering closer to Nathan as I sensed his anguish. I needed to somehow get Nathan out of here and back to Carlisle, there was no rational reasoning for my concern…but Carlisle always seemed to have the answers, and if he didn't, between the two of us there had to be some information at our disposal.

"We should take care of this at home." I suggested, more than eager to get us out of this environment where we needed to hide. We wouldn't be able to thoroughly discuss anything while under the watchful eye of our peers.

"No…this is silly…I'll manage." Nathan pressed.

Jasper spoke so quickly that I doubted even Nathan could hear him, but he was always more conscientious of maintain the lie than most of us. His paranoia stemmed from his difficulty with our lifestyle, sometimes he felt as though he needed to compensate in other areas because of the trouble the thirst gave him. "I agree this is important, Edward…but it isn't exactly a pressing matter. As long as he can function this can wait – yes? Nate hasn't been through highschool a doz---

Jasper stopped what he was saying when he noticed the change in Nathan's face, the tired expression was quickly replaced with a questioning as if he was bserving something that we couldn't see. All of us watched him intently – it was clear what was happening, Nathan's eyes were back to their brilliant multicolored glow and all of his features seemed intensified the way they usually did when he dropped his 'shine.'

"What should we do?" Rosalie asked in a voice far too quiet and fast for any human to hear.

"Wait it out. The humans won't notice his eyes from here, it shouldn't last long, right?" Jasper looked toward Alice.

"I don't know, his visions can be completely different from mine."

"Wait." I commanded – watching eagerly now that his thoughts were free from the shield he kept up from me. Nathan wasn't able to control anything during these visions, of course…I hadn't been around him any time one of these visions occurred…and he could never keep his thoughts hidden when he slept; where the bulk of these seemed to prey upon him.

_The first day. I watched from an omniscient perspective – seeing myself as if from a camera or someone else's thoughts. It had been just like any other day, dry, uneventful, and blaringly tedious. Naturally all of this was multiplied by my negligence with hunting, I'd gone far too long without a meal that day. If the thirst wasn't enough of a warning looking in a mirror and being confronted with my black eyes would have reminded me of just how long it had been._

_And then something happened to make my thirst ten, no… one hundred times worse. Once this mystery-boy's scent hit me my entire body was on fire._

"No!" I begged, causing my family to look at me with a sudden urgency.

"Edward, what is it?" One of them asked – I was so absorbed in this memory that I had no idea who asked.

"When I first took in his scent…nearly killed him." I explained absentmindedly

Why was he seeing this? Everything he could see…I didn't want him to know the pain that I felt, how would he react? How _could_ he react to watching first had my murderous temptations that night.

'_He can't be human…but why would fey stare at me like that?' Nathan thought to himself – addressing the murderous glare I'd been throwing in his direction. It was impossible to focus on the narrative of the story – the __**fire**__ of his scent coated every inch of me while he sat there oblivious to the pain he was inflicting._

I must have missed part of their conversation in my daze because Alice elbowed me harder than necessary "Get him the hell out of here Edward – make sure no one is looking."

"What….?"

"Look at his hands, his face!" Rosalie hissed.

They were right – I needed to get Nathan out of here _right now_. His hands were gripping the lunch table so tightly that the veins in his arms were fighting to break the skin. Both of his thumbs were firmly placed on the upper end of the table, the power in his grasp formed two little divvies into the table as he forced them deeper into the iron table.

No one was looking.

Emmett and Alice held the table once they saw the look in my eyes, they would make sure that the table wouldn't move an inch once I grabbed Nathan and ran. This movement was dangerous enough as is – we couldn't risk anything else to count against us.

I pushed my chair back silently and in one motion swept Nathan in my arms, he didn't seem to fight me or do much of anything. His face was contortioned in pain as the vision followed me and the misery that he put me through for that very long class. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, relatively confident that no one would even notice the fact that Nathan and I had disappeared before it was too late. Nathan pawed at the collar of my shirt once we were outside and safely in the recess of my car.

_We're coming._ Both Alice and Jasper thought in sequence.

I watched Nathan carefully, holding him in the back seat of the Volvo while I waited impatiently for Alice and Jasper. His expression continued to furrow in pain his eyes remained unblinking throughout the entirety of the vision…and then he did blink. I couldn't have prepared myself for what I saw in those eyes.

These were not Nathan's eyes. The brilliant green that I had grown to accustomed to was swallowed by very familiar scarlet hue, this color was unmistakable. I was staring into the eyes of a newborn vampire experiencing the thirst for the first time.

* * *

_Sorry for the cliffhanger! I promise to update soon!!_


	17. Power

_Hey! So here's the resolution to the semi-cliffhanger I gave you guys last week. This and the next chapter or so are really important with weaving these new strands to the plot, but then again I should stop saying that. I think just about every chapter is really important to the plot; I'm just a bit biased :-)_

_Hope you enjoy! I'm taking a holiday this weekend so I'll get a lot of writing done!_

* * *

**Nathan**

Even though I didn't believe in hell, if hell _did_ exist, the past twenty minutes would have been worse than the hottest pits of it. Sure I wasn't an expert on visions, but the fact that they were called _visions…_ as in something _visible_ had always lead me to believe that they didn't transcend that boundary. To say the least – I was surprised.

It was like there was a movie actively playing in my head that I couldn't escape. There were no pause buttons in the world of metaphysical voyeurism. I watched both Edward and I from a third person perspective. The bouncing emotions were initially difficult for me to understand, and then calculating Edward's unnatural thirst for the taste of my blood…well that complicated things even more. Whenever he told me how badly he thirsted for what was flowing through my veins I thought I understood the pain he was going through…but I had no idea. Nothing could have prepared me for the scorching sensation that blurred my perception of reality.

After just a couple of seconds of my vision the only thing that I could understand what the burning sensation that started in my throat and quickly followed through my entire body. I coveted the blood that flowed through all of the humans in the classroom, just thinking of that warm liquid filling my mouth made me want to writhe in ecstasy as if it would be the peak of my existence. Edward could have killed every single person in the room before I would have even had time to react – but I would have gone to him willingly – a small part of me…wanted to be food, anything was worth the price of touching his supple skin.

It was like I was a vampire and the thirst that Edward had described so many times was very real. I knew that it wasn't impossible – but what other reasoning could there be? The burning lingered as the vision slowly faded away rather than the abrupt ending of my other visions. During this time I was vaguely aware of my physical body, I wasn't sitting anymore but moving…where wasn't clear. Nothing was clear but the inferno that seared every inch of my mind.

I was thankful for the arctic arms covering every part of me; easing the fever that touched me to my very core. Nothing was clear, but I was willing to bet that they were Edward's arms embracing me right now. Where were we? I saw a pair of big yellow eyes looking over me in concern.

"Nate?" Jasper asked carefully.

I was coming to my senses now, we were in the Volvo… driving a lot faster than was probably legal, Alice was driving with Jasper in the passenger seat eyeing my every movement, and Edward behind me sitting perfectly still. And then I realized it, Edward's arms were different. Embrace would be a word I would have readily used, but right now…Edward was restraining _me_.

"What?" I tried to turn around but Edward's arms held me down – clenching just tight enough to become uncomfortable. "Edward you're hurting me, what's going on?" I asked – trying not to panic. Edward's grip eased up just enough so I could turn around and look at him. Suddenly my vision seemed completely significant, why was Edward acting in so weird?

Edward's expression remained unmoved, seeing his topaz eyes so careful hurt more than I expected it to…

"Edward…?"

"Are you okay?" He asked, his jaw still set in a rigid line.

"I'm fine. What's wrong with _you_?"

"His eyes are back to normal" Jasper commented

"My eyes?" I asked, but no one answered.

Edward allowed me to see the pain in his eyes but quickly looked away – I wanted to pry but it didn't feel right with Jasper and Alice sitting so close. My eyes carried to the window, we were pulling into the Cullen's drive right now. Why did we leave school?

"Why are we going to your house?" I turned to Jasper – since apparently Edward wasn't going to answer any of my questions.

"You don't know?" Jasper asked

"Uh. No."

"You started to freak out. We had to get you out of there before you made a scene" Alice explained – looking at me through the rearview mirror.

I freaked out? I guess it was possible….but just seemed so unlikely, how could I have 'freaked out' if I wasn't even aware of my own body.

"What?" I demanded incredulously

"Lets go inside and talk about it"

I looked to Edward again and was faced with the same unmoving expression, I turned back to Jasper and Alice with a new, more irritated look in my eyes.

"I need a second with Edward, alone."

Jasper looked behind me to Edward for permission – of course my temper got the better of me. I hadn't slept well in weeks, seeing things that not only that I didn't want to see but I was much more attuned than just seeing, and now I'd spent the past hour or so experiencing a pain that wasn't at all human. It was only a matter of time before my patience got the better of me.

"Don't look to him for some sort of permission." I snapped, getting out of the car in a huff hoping that the fresh air would ease my sour mood.

It took them longer than necessary to get out of the car while they discussed something; probably humoring me. I watched the trees intently until Edward was facing me out of nowhere – I didn't hear Alice or Jasper leave but I knew they'd be gone. Edward's hands hung at his sides loosely but his eyes were molten hot.

"Edward…talk to me…please." I begged. _What did I do wrong?_

"You did nothing wrong, Nathan…Don't ever think that."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"What you saw…you must be disgusted. I watched everything."

"You know my thoughts…nothing matters to me but you."

Edward sighed and closed the distance between us and took me into a very tight hug. He said nothing and I let my hand stroke across his back; it was obvious that Edward needed the comforting not me, which was a rare situation, in fact I'd never encountered it before. Edward was breathing fiercely in the midst of whatever he was feeling.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered so quietly it wasn't even audible.

"I lost you."

I tried to pull back so I could see the expression in his eyes but he wouldn't let me, he was hiding his eyes from me. Even with his discipline he couldn't keep the emotion out of his face as effortlessly as he had with the tone of his voice.

"I'll _always_ be here."

"I thought you were gone…and it would be all my fault." He continued, breathing heavily into my ear.

"Shhh" I did quietly in his ear and rubbed his back "You'll never lose me. Lets go inside so we can figure out what just happened."

Edward shrugged and reluctantly pulled back so I could see the echo of anguish that was remained in his dark-yellow eyes. He looked at me like he was surprised I was still here. I'd always be there for him – forever and ever – that I was sure. Because he wouldn't lean in for a kiss I took the initiative and gave him a kiss that lasted less than a second.

My vision was haunted me as Edward and I treaded into the dining room where everyone was seated at the antiqued dining table – this couldn't be good. I remember the last time that everyone was congregated in such a formal fashion, and it definitely hadn't been on good terms. But none of it mattered, not really. I couldn't shake the idea that Edward was always in the pain that I felt, and how it couldn't possibly be bearable. There was no way that I was worth such a price.

"More than worth it." He smiled at me.

I didn't return his smile – I just kept his hand in mine and fought a groan. His confession didn't help the emotions that were running through me, it had actually made it much worse. Guilt poured over me thinking that I was the reason he was in such a difficult situation. I watched him frown at the direction my thoughts were going and wished I could close them off, but I just didn't seem in control of anything anymore. It was a very uncomfortable feeling.

"Even if its…unpleasant, I'd rather know what you're thinking."

"That makes one of us." I grumbled, and sat down with the rest of the Cullens, Edward's hand in mine.

Everyone spoke so quietly and so fast I couldn't understand a word they were saying, it was like white noise but trying to pick apart their sentences was quickly giving me a headache. I could feel the annoyance slowly building in the pit of my stomach once I realized they weren't going to explain anything to me. Why was I even here? Maybe I should just go home and call my mother – atleast I'd know what the hell she was saying.

Edward hovered close to me and whispered "Shh..they're just discussing what we should do."

"I still have absolutely no idea what happened that everyone seems so spooked about." I admitted – not even trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

Jasper looked toward Edward for a moment and then back to me, I sighed knowing exactly what was about to happen. It felt like a cool water was rushing over me, every my muscles relaxed and loosened out of the strain I'd been putting them through. I wasn't annoyed anymore – and the fact that I wasn't annoyed anymore started to bother me but quickly dissipated. Once I was sufficiently relaxed everyone finally seemed willing to speak to me.

Edward leaned in to whisper something in my ear, I knew he was just humoring me. At this distance everyone at the table would know exactly what he said.

"You're cute when you're angry."

"Liar. You know I'm terrifying."

"I'm beside myself in horror." He teased

We both grinned. The crisis was passed us and now we moved on just as if it was any other day. The problem was it wasn't just any other day, and I still didn't know what happened. Edward gave me a quick kiss which oddly enough made me more aware of my surroundings. I'd never been one for public displays of affection, and you couldn't really get any more public than his entire family looking at us.

I sat there, mortified and bright red while Edward chuckled to himself. Emmett let out a whistle which quickly earned him an icey glare. "Can someone _please_ tell me what happened?"

"Well it was obvious you were having a vision. And I guess you can't hide your thoughts from Edward when you're seeing something. We didn't really know how to react since none of us knew how long it would last, but you started to dig your fingers so deep into the table that you left two gashes in the metal so we had to get you out of there before you started a scene. Good we were overly cautious…." Alice explained

Edward growled wordlessly in Alice's direction causing her to stop her sentence abruptly with an apologetic smile.

"Didn't know you were that strong." Emmett added.

"Me either." I shrugged. "What happened then? How did I get in the car?"

"Edward carried you."

I turned to Edward who was already trying to guise a grin at my shock. "Did anyone see you?" I hissed.

Edward rolled his eyes but Esme answered for him, "Edward has always been _very_ fast." She beamed.

"Got it. Onto 'freaking out' part?"

"Well, you were fine until a couple of kids ditching passed the car before Jasper and I got there. If Edward hadn't been there – well…None of us know what would have happened. He had to restrain you. We'd all seen it before, you smelled their blood and in all likeliness would have tried to kill them. It's a miracle no one noticed you… with the noise you were making." She sighed

I was…acting like a newborn vampire? I still didn't know much about vampire kind but from what I'd picked up newborns were quite similar to predatory animals – no human was safe in their presence.

"Why?" I asked – still somewhat dumbstruck.

"None of us know, but that's not quite it Nate…You _looked_ like a vampire. I mean, of course you smelled human, well, mostly human. And we could hear your heart beating. Your skin went pale like yours and your eyes were red. So of course we were all worried – since no one had bitten you."

"Oh…

"I'm sorry for all of the trouble. You guys shouldn't have to deal with this, you have enough of your own quirks to have to worry about mine."

"_Quirks_" Rosalie mused.

"You know this doesn't bother us – we're family…we always protect each other. Everyone knows you would do exactly the same for one of us." Esme smiled

Edward's thumb rubbed my over my knuckles back and forth while he remained quiet as he usually did during the familial discussions. I couldn't help but smile when she included me as family, I'd probably never get used to it. Was this warm sensation normal for people who had close attachments with their family? I have no idea; but it was definitely preferable to the inkling of fear I felt whenever I thought of my mother.

"In your visions Alice, do you just see things like a movie? Or do you like….experience everything the people are feeling and doing?"

"Its mostly just visual. Why?"

"That's what went wrong…" escaped my lips.

"What?" Edward asked me – his face going from amused to deathly serious at my words.

But I couldn't pay attention to him, I was too busy with my revelation. Sure it was a long shot – but these visions of mine, was it possible that I had taken on…characteristics of the vision while riding it? It's the only logical reason that I would have acted in such a way – and we'd never really dealt with it before because I've always been asleep. The only things I've seen while awake wouldn't have affected me in nearly as strong of a manner as what the vampires went through.

My mind drifted off to what I'm pretty confident was my first vision ever. It was during _Catcher and the Rye_ in English class – it seemed like a daydream only intensified. In an intimate position like that Edward must have felt some sort of thirst, he'd explained that the sensation never truly went away; like a constant reminder. I hadn't felt anything then…So maybe I was just reading too far into things.

"They could be getting stronger." Edward suggested.

"Or just coincidence."

Rosalie sighed "What are you talking about?"

Edward refreshed everyone on our little mental conversation which lead to an intense discussion on both the ramifications and the benefits if this were true. Naturally Emmett's first considering was how useful I would be if there was a battle which incited a growl from Edward. But no one was planning a fight any time soon, who would want to fight with a family of pacifists like the Cullens anyway?

It was plain to see that Edward was agitated – he started speaking fast enough with his siblings that I eventually just stopped trying to listen. Edward also had a habit of leaning increasingly closer to me as if he was protecting me from some unforseen villain. I sighed and tried to comfort him, but mostly let him snap at Emmett so he would get over it.

"I'll be right back." Getting up from my seat took a lot more effort than it probably should have, I felt impossibly drained like I'd been running the entire day and finally found an opportunity to rest. I'd not only been sitting complacently most of the day, but I also engulfed a massive cup of coffee; there was no reason for me to be tired right now. My hand squeezed Edward's affectionately to let him know everything was alright before I got up and strolled outside.

I tried to keep my groans to a minimum on my way out – there were enough reasons for this splitting migraine that it wasn't even worth considering all of the options. Maybe it was just wishful thinking but the fresh air seemed to be a solid solution to my problems. I'd always been against modern medicine, I don't even know if most things would work on me, surrounding myself with nature was a consistent remedy for any ailment. I guess it made some sense – supposedly I was just an embodiment of the goddess, or as humans call her, mother earth. Getting to my roots was practical, right? No pun intended.

Lately I'd taken to the comparing the differences between vampires and sidhe. Especially after the catastrophe of my most recent vision. Seeing the future sounds pretty cool but I'd give it up in a second, so far there wasn't a single vision that was either a.) completely irrelevant or b.) painful and something I didn't even want to know. The biting cold that made my breath leave a trail of icy remnants reminded me of a consistent motif between both my kind and Edward's. Hot and cold. Me and him.

I'd never had to worry about the elements, after all, the connection that my kind had with nature was closer than any other sentient creature. It wouldn't make sense for creations of nature to be held back in our own environment would it? Just thinking of what it felt like to have the sun's rays dance across my skin like any other day instantly conjured a physical reaction. I literally manifested the sun's warmth across my skin when I did this – it took a little effort and focus just like most of my little _tricks_. I guess you could say I had to work at it while Edward was just innately comfortable in any temperature, I coveted not having to separate my attention to hundreds of little adjustments on a daily basis.

I was too frazzled by everything that had happened to conjure any warmth in my body but I was oddly thankful. The winter chill helped me focus and shake off the fatigue that has been steadily building. What were they talking about right now? Were they making some sort of plans for me?

That made me nervous. Not that I didn't trust all of the Cullens implicitly, because I did However none of them had any experience with sidhe before meeting me, with the exception of Jasper, and with Jasper's expertise…his only learned skills were how to _kill_ them, not recover from some sort of traumatic mental handicap.

The answer was so obvious but I fought the unavoidable truth. There was only one person that would know exactly what was happening and how to deal with it.

I heaved a sigh watching it evaporate into the freezing air second later, and dialed a familiar number.

"Hi, mom."

She replied in Gaelic which meant that she was in mixed company. Typically her assistant was the only one who had a vague idea that we weren't human but we never made it clear enough so she could put something together. People working for our family quickly learned to endure bizarre tasks and occurrences without asking questions. She sounded relieved to hear my voice; that rarely happened.

"How are you?"

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, this abrupt desire to be around my mother overwhelmed me. It was an emotion I never quite felt before – but now I felt like I needed her more than ever. People think puberty plays with your emotions? Puberty has nothing on this.

"Bad." I choked.

"What happened?" I heard distantly as she pulled the phone from her head "No, go away" and I could just picture her shooing away some lowly stylist from her office like a fly.

"It wasn't just a vision, I can't explain it. I was like…like in Edward's shoes or something. I felt what it was like for him, what the thirst is like. They got me out in time but I guess I went a little crazy while I was riding it."

"When did it happen?"

"An hour or so ago."

"Not the _vision_, but what you saw." She snapped impatiently.

"Oh. It was the first time I saw him, so the first day of school in Forks... Why?"

"Well you know Erika could only see into the past, and I can only see into the very immediate future. This can mean a lot of things."

I wasn't sure of 'a lot of things' were good or bad things. It was actually pathetic, all that was circling through my mind was if any of these situations could take me away from Edward. In the end that was the only thing I couldn't handle.

"Like?" I asked, making no attempt to mask my frustration.

"I take that back. It _could_ be plenty of things….But I'm fairly certain that you're –"

I interrupted her. I'd heard this phrase so many times in my life it seemed so obvious, and yet I hadn't even considered it. Whenever it had been brought up in the past it was always the fact that I hadn't or wouldn't _come into my power_.

"Coming into power." I finished.

"Yes."

This 'coming into power' is more of just an age thing. With Sidhe coming into your power is like a right of passage – you didn't simply grow into it. It was both a spiritual and emotional journey that no one can possibly explain in words, or so I've heard. From what every little I've experienced so far, I don't really think I could accurately describe the array of emotions that were strewn through my brain. But coming into power also meant one special perk…one that had no influence on any of my decisions until I met Edward.

"Does that mean I'll be…"

"Immortal."

It was like the word was a trigger to shut my legs down, any feeling I had in my lower region just went numb when she very clearly reminded me of what I'd wanted more than anything for the past several months. I knew I was falling, but made no movement to try to save myself.

And there was Edward, cradling me with his arms all the while staring deeply into my eyes, the cold uncertainty that was there before was replaced by melted topaz raging from his irises. I couldn't be sure because I couldn't read thoughts like Edward…but in my heart I knew why he looked at me this way. Our eyes connected in the heated passion now that one impossible puzzle had been solved…I wouldn't have to go through the pain of aging and he wouldn't have to watch me slowly waste away. We would be together forever; a perfect existence.


	18. La Push

**Edward**

"_I know you don't like the…food around here as much. Its silly for you to stay around here just because I'm here. Its only a couple of days, right?" Nathan smiled – He hated the idea of me leaving him for even a couple of hours, he wasn't hiding his thoughts so there could be no doubt in my mind. Yes he hated the idea of leaving me even briefly, but he wanted more for me to go and enjoy myself. Emmett brought it up – and ever since Nathan was convinced I should go with my brothers for the weekend hunting. It did sound enjoyable –mountain lions were in excess in California at the moment – only one part made me hesitant; leaving Nathan for a prolonged period of time. _

"_What will you do?" I asked – paying careful attention to what thoughts popped in his head._

"_Go to La Push with Angela and them, I promised earlier this week... Then just chill with Alice and Rose or something_

_He eventually won – just like he knew he would._

My brothers and I took advantage of the overcast weather in California, we'd been stalking around all of the forest preserves in a 150 mile radius. Even though there was an aching pang of worry from being away from him I was enjoying this time with Jasper and Emmett – it had been months since we went off like this.

Jasper finished bleeding a cougar dry – I tried to avoid his thoughts while he fed. It wasn't a secret from anyone in our family that Jasper has never fully adopted our lifestyle; and would prefer otherwise if it hadn't been for Alice. In the midst of his hunt Jasper often frequented the same fantasy, the animal in him always thirsted for it to be human blood, but the more worrisome fact was that his cognitive self had the same desire. I tried to give him privacy while he imagined these animals were human victims.

Emmett glanced at me while I remained perched on the same rock I had been for an hour while I contemplated all of the things that could go wrong in my absence.

"Chill Edward. He's fine." Emmett reminded me as if he was the one that could read thoughts.

Was he? It just took half a second and everything would be over.

"Isn't he immortal or something anyway?" Emmett asked, rolling a stone in his hand idly before crushing it into a small pile of dust.

"Not yet."

"What do you mean?" This time from Jasper – who took a seat with the two of us, artfully wiping the blood from his lips.

"I don't really understand. Carlisle and I have been looking into it more thoroughly while Nathan is gone or asleep but most of the information is terribly inaccurate, unreadable, or it just doesn't exist. From what Nathan's explained it takes some time until everything just kind of…gets pieced together."

"Has he told you what happens when everything is finished?"

I asked Nathan – and I'm not sure if he knows and isn't willing to explain to me or if he's as well.

"No. He's been dodging the subject." I added sourly

"Can't you hear his thoughts?"

"He hasn't been able to hide them from me since all of this has happened, he says its draining to keep up his illusion. He does have a penchant for avoiding anything he doesn't want to discuss, even in his thoughts."

"Would be a nice skill to have" Emmett grumbled.

"I can think of many occasions when I wished you had a similar ability." Soon after Emmett turned, Rosalie and him spent hours fornicating. It was bad enough that everyone could hear each and every sound they made; the moans, screams, and occasional wall being taken down. But both hearing and _seeing_ the act had made it a very long decade.

"You know you enjoyed it." He grinned.

"Enjoy isn't quite the word."

_Do they have sex? _Emmett thought to himself.

"No."

"Never?" This time from Jasper.

"I can't trust myself to not hurt him." I sighed.

Very few things outweighed my love for Nathan, but one of those would be my need for him to be safe.

Only Nathan would find a way to make it even more difficult for me to maintain control around him, but the part that really wracked my mind was he didn't try. Just being himself was bad enough – as if being incredibly attractive and desirable in every wasn't enough, lust just hovered above his skin and followed him with his every step. This strange aura was terribly contagious, more than once have I almost been seduced by his artful attempts to lure me into sex.

Emmett tried to picture how it would work, and I couldn't help but feel as though I was intruding on something I shouldn't be…but it was _me_ in his head right now. The thought made me wince. Jasper was very careful not to provoke any mental pictures.

"I didn't think you were interested in men, Edward." Jasper commented casually – but I could sense the hint of disapproval in his voice.

"Neither did I."

It was true. When Nathan and I first crossed paths my sexual attraction to him had been initially very… confusing. After all, I'd spent the better part of a century under the impression that I was exclusively attracted to women. I was aware there were…other options that were popularized since the 60's but never even considered them. But I figured if a woman couldn't capture my interest how could a man possibly do so?

"Is it a problem?" I asked defensively. Jasper wouldn't be able to lie about this to me and he knew it. His golden irises eyed me apprehensively as I watched his thoughts consider the situation thoroughly. He disapproved the idea of two men together which didn't really surprise me, even in the 1800's the South was known for its intolerance. Most vampires didn't let go of their dated notions of 'right and wrong' so easily, why would Jasper be any different?

"I don't think it is…natural. But we've all noticed the differences since you've met him, and you two act just like any other couple really…he's a…well I was wrong about him. I do feel bad for you though." Jasper's tone became increasingly casual toward the end of his sentence and I knew exactly why as he grinned up at me. But asked him so Emmett wouldn't have to sit here unknowingly.

"Why's that?"

"You both know I couldn't handle it…but you seem to have some ridiculous self control that parallels Carlisle's. But if Nate could manage even half of what he did for Alice and I…" His voice trailed off while he began to reminisce about the night when Nathan cured him of those visions…

"What the hell happened anyway? You two haven't been that loud in decades"

We all laughed and exchanged stories that wouldn't have been proper in the presence of women. I told them just about everything that happened between Nathan and I when we were intimate…or lack there of. I tested the waters to see if it was something they were comfortable with, and neither of my brothers seemed to be bothered by it. It was probably safe to say that I found it more troublesome since I'd never had the opportunity or desire to share such exploits.

"Really, you have no idea. I mean…how do you even say no to someone allegedly descended from _sex deities_? Its hard enough just saying no when he's practically _begging_ me, but then he does these…tricks."

Emmett and Jasper asked in unison – both of them had curiosity evident in their faces when they looked at each other grinning "Tricks?"

I lifted my head back and sighed in embarrassment, looking at the night sky, chuckling incredulously that I was about to share this sensitive information. Nathan wouldn't mind – he was completely open minded when it came to most things sexual…atleast if they involved the two of us. He told me that Sidhe culture is a lot less prudent when it comes to sex, that its something natural and required for a fulfilled life. Maybe he was right, but I still didn't see the point in risking him for something so trivial.

"Well…I'm not sure I can really explain it."

"Come on!" Emmett pressed.

"Okay. Well…the first time I lost it. Whatever he did, he had no idea he was doing it. But it provoked…both of my appetites. I didn't really think the two were so closely linked, but then again who ever expected to end up with a human…well…mostly human. Carlisle and Esme came and I eventually got it under control, but I haven't come that close to killing him since that first day.

"He exudes this aura of sexuality and lust that he can't seem to control but its just a part of him, but then when he actually concentrates…Its either the best or the worst thing in the world. I can't decide what" I laughed.

"What happens when he focuses on it?"

"Um. Its different every time. But we…practiced in Hong Kong. We managed to find a place where it was controllable. It sounds so crazy and dramatic – really." I chuckled to myself before continuing. "Really all he did was touch my arm and I thought I was going to climax. _A small touch_, and I swear it seemed like he was doing things other than that, atleast that's how it felt.

"But then he kissed me and it felt like, hmm…If you could think of the most euphoric, softest, most tantalizing sensation that would be it. And that tactile sense just seemed to massage me from head to toe during the kiss that lasted only a second, but I swore it felt like it lasted for hours."

"Why can't there be vampires with crazy sex powers?" Emmett sighed.

"So you really aren't going to turn him?"

"Why on earth would I do that?" I asked – trying with great difficulty to not sound aggressive.

"I don't see how else it can work really, none of us do. Its what he wants too."

"He doesn't know what he wants, he's only 18. Nathan has no idea what type of life this is."

Emmett and Jasper decided to not pursue the topic any further and fought to regain the joyous atmosphere that I'd ruined with my mood.

"_But think of the sex!_" Emmett laughed.

"Of course, How could I forget about the sex!?"

"Maybe I'll have to ask Nathan to do some of that heeby-jeeby stuff on Rose and I."

"That last thing you and Rose need is some sort elven Viagra."

Emmett grumbled and kicked around dirt idly but continued to consider the possibilities. I wondered if Nathan would do it for Rose and Emmett, it sounded like an extremely awkward situation to me but was willing to bet that he wouldn't be bothered by it. We continued to talk about 'guy stuff' until enough time passed when we were hungry again.

After glutting ourselves again, we all got ready to head back to Forks. Jasper and Emmett never liked longer trips, they hated being away from their corresponding girlfriends. And for once I understood how they felt because I had someone waiting for me…

**Nathan**

"Come on Nate!" Mike yelled from the explorer window, impatiently honking while I tried to find a sock that ran away from me. I ended up just getting a new pair and rushing out of the with my shoe barely on only to be greeted by yet another dreary day. I didn't mind though, it had warmed up to around 45 degrees so I wore a light spring jacket.

I opened the door and quickly scanned the very few available seats. Actually, there was only one, conveniently shoved right next to Jessica Stanley. Edward told me she still hadn't given up on her pursuit over me, I guess she had given Mike Newton an ambiguous answer to his proposal for prom in hopes that I would ask her. She smiled amorously in my direction causing me to have to fight a grimace before I squeezed in next to her. There was an echo of "Hey nate's" as I got in the car and we sped off to the beach.

"Isn't it a little cold to go surfing?" I asked curiously. As far as I knew there weren't even places to surf in Washington.

"Nah it'll be fine! The waves are going to be awesome since there is a storm coming soon." Mike explained exuberantly.

"Shocker…" I whispered under my breath.

"So how was everyone's winter holiday?" I tried making conversation – an apologetic attempt because I hadn't really spoken to most of them except in passing since Hong Kong. Much to my relief Jessica was absorbed in a conversation with Lauren about some boy in their gym class that I'd never met. I'd actually get answers from people I was interested in.

"Lots of xbox 360." Eric confessed.

"Nerd!" Mike laughed from behind the wheel.

"Don't lie, I saw you on X-box live last night Mike!"

"No idea what you're talking about."

Mike and Eric continued to argue while I took the opportunity to look out the window at the forest preserve. Ever since I came to Forks I'd been enamored with the forests of _La Push_ reservation – at first I assumed it was just surprise – but my appreciation for the stunning green woodland hadn't faded in my months here. Angela turned around and smiled at me "So what were you doing over break? I called your house but your Aunt said that you were on vacation?"

Shit. Well ignoring the fact that I had gone anywhere was out the window.

"Yea, I went to go see my mom back in Hong Kong. What about you?"

"Oh nothing really. Ben and I went to this family reunion of mine on Oregon." She grimaced as she said it.

"Sounds thrilling!" I said with mock enthusiasm.

"It was pretty awful. My family met Ben for the first time too so we were both pretty embarrassed."

"Ah…I can relate. The whole 'meeting the parents' thing is awful."

There was a glimmer in her eye – and I knew I misspoke. Shit. I love Angela but she was really damn perceptive, it made lying to her that much more difficult. Well I wasn't technically lying to her, but I certainly wasn't telling her the truth.

Apparently she wasn't the only one who caught my statement because Jessica asked me in a careful voice, "What'd Edward do over break? None of us saw any of the Cullens over break…..Not that we usually do or anything."

I watched Mike stiffen at the mention of Edward – I noted it for future speculation but ignored it for the time being. I guess it would be best to explain what Forks thought of Edward and I at the moment.

I'm not sure how much of it was said and the rest was just from Edward's cognitive prying of most of the town, but everyone in Forks was convinced that something was out of the norm when it came to Edward and I. We were aware that we were under the spotlight most of the time in public so we maintained a safe distance, but neither of us really strained ourselves to continue with _yet another_ façade. It was of scandalous proportions compared to most of Forks' gossip, but we could handle gossip. Both Edward and I had much bigger secrets to worry about than our sexual preferences.

I could have avoided it further, but my guess was the questions would continue until they were satisfied.

"Erm, Most of them went to Hong Kong "

I was temporarily spared from the impending interrogation as the SUV came to a slow stop. I must have been so absorbed in my rebuttal I didn't even notice us getting closer and closer to the beach. I'd never been this close to the water – actually I don't think I've been to the actual reservation before. Edward always steered quite clear from it, maybe he just didn't like the crowds…

Mike opened the window and a gust of cold air infiltrated the warm auto giving everyone a slight chill. "You're really going out there in this?" Angela asked in disbelief.

"The water will be warmer." Mike said confidently – but Eric and Jessica didn't seem convinced, both exchanging a fearful look with one another before changing into their water-suit.

"You gonna come Nate?"

"Nah, I think I'll just walk around the beach."

"Want me to come with?" Angela asked as she zipped up a water-suit too, she didn't look nearly as excited as the rest of them. As much as I would have enjoyed a walk with Angela it probably wasn't the best idea alone, I should have asked Edward what he thought of people knowing about us …Of course they would ask, it was naïve of me to assume they wouldn't.

"No its fine! Go ahead." I smile encouragingly.

"Okay, don't go too far though. I really doubt we'll be swimming too long, we're gonna set up a fire after get out."

"Sounds awesome. I'll be back soon."

Angela reluctantly jogged toward the water without a surf board – presumably just to enjoy the beach after a chilling winter. Who goes to the beach while there is still snow on the ground? I could hear Jessica screaming as Mike splashed her, hopefully he would keep on distracting her.

I let the noise of their chatter fade away, allowing me to focus on the surreal scenery of the reservation.

It was surprising that that this place existed in Washington, no one had told me there were things like beaches and beautiful forests when moving here! Even though Forks was looking better than ever, I still considered it mostly as some suburban wasteland. It probably wasn't the most tactful thing to do, walking away from my friends who had invited me here despite the fact that I've neglected them lately. But really, there was no way I was swimming in late January.

The tide swooshed in and out, the repetitious sound helped me concentrate on nothing in particular as I strolled along the cool beach. I'd made enough distance so my friends were nothing but specks on the horizon– I'd have to go back soon since they surely wouldn't be swimming very long. I may not have been uncomfortable in the weather; but I had adjusted the temperature around myself accordingly, and was willing to bet it was definitely too cold for _swimming_.

_They better not get hypothermia_

I sat there worrying to myself when I jumped at a magnified vibration in the back pocket of my pants. It took me a second to realize that it wasn't some monstrous, other-worldly bug and took out my cellphone and with a deep relief saw Edward's name calling.

"Hi! You haven't left yet right? You weren't supposed to be back until tonight." I spoke a little to eagerly, even if it had been just two days… it felt like years. Ugh, I was _so_ addicted to Edward it was pathetic.

"Is everything alright?" He sounded panicked.

"Uh, yea. Why? What's wrong?"

"Where are you?"

"The push. Edward what's going on?"

Edward wasn't easy to panic. He wouldn't be calling with such a tone on something trite and adolescent like most boyfriends… something but really be wrong.

"Alice just called me – she said your future just went blank…I…"

"Everything is okay. I promise, I'm just here with Angela and the others."

Edward sighed into the receiver for a moment before speaking again, "I'm on my way back, I want you to go home…now."

I didn't like that he was commanding me to go home like a child. I fought hard not to sound vesed at the authority in his voice "I can't. I didn't drive and we just got here."

"Fake an illness then, it isn't safe for you to be there with Alice blind like this…"

"They're going to be furious, I can't do that to them. I've been completely avoiding them lately I can already feel that I'm on thin ice. Plus…nothing is _wrong_, if there was something so awful I'm sure I would see—"

What I was about to say was that I was sure I would see some sort of impending doom myself, my visions have been slowly becoming more controllable. Key word slowly. Maybe I should have less faith in my visions – how could I possibly see the future if I didn't even notice two large boys, no..men standing directly infront of me.?

Until today I'd only seen Hollywood depictions of Native Americans. I knew that this was a Native American reservation but just assumed they mostly kept to themselves, and just as I was thinking earlier, Edward and I never came to _La Push_. Both of them towered over me which was a rare perspective being that I'm taller than most. They had to be atleast 6'5 with a frame that at first appeared skinny but I could tell there was an understated muscle. Their long silky black hair fell down passed their shoulders, one had it hung in a pony tail while they glared menacingly in my direction.

"What is it?" Edward demanded from the other line

"One sec."

I looked at my two visitors for a good five seconds hoping they would fill this awkward silence that they created. When I was confident they weren't intending on doing anything other than glare at my I finally spoke, ignoring Edward's demands from my cell phone.

"Can I help you?" I asked, the natural condescending tone rearing its ugly head.

"That Cullen on the other line?"

How the hell did these strangers know I was talking to Edward? Did gossip really travel as far as the _reservation_ in a small town like this?

"Yes. Why?"

"You've passed the boundary, you know what this means." The guy with the pony tail said through gritted teeth – he was clenching and unclenching his hands so fiercely the veins fought to break through the skin.

"What line? I'm just here with my friends dude"

Edward was practically screaming into the receiver so I brought it back up to my ear – officially annoyed between these weird guys interrogating me and his impatient demeanor.

"_What is it?"_ I hissed.

"Run. Run as fast as you possibly can to the border. Go south. _Go now Nate!"_ He used 'nate.' That probably wasn't a good sign.

"The bord…" I started to ask.

"No questions. Just go, Alice will pick you up once you're close enough."

"You broke the treaty. You're all in deep shit now. Free game." He clasped his hands together and laughed.

"Finally we get some leeches. I'm sick of running around doing nothing."

Edward was right. They looked at me like I was some sort of contest, I could read the eagerness all over their bodies. They were just two human boys so I wasn't exactly worried…I may not be a trained fighter or anything but I'm definitely stronger, faster, and smarter than these two thugs. Why was Edward so overprotective of such a small threat?

But they kept on talking about some sort of treaty and boundary lines…At first I just thought they were either mistaken or completely insane but then what Edward said flashed through my memory. _Run as fast as you possibly can to the border_.

I was slowly growing accustomed to keeping my shields open so the visions come and go freely without censure, they've been less aggressive as long as I didn't try to fight them. I hadn't tried to drink any human's blood lately atleast, point for me.

What the hell were these guys doing? Something just seemed off about the entire situation, I couldn't help but notice a certain sense of danger even though on the surface it appeared to be no more than the beginnings of some high-school brawl.

I glanced toward the forest in the direction that I would run and had to suppress a groan. How the hell was I going to explain this to my friends. My eyes scanned through the green brushes and went deep into the dense opening of thousands of moss-covered trees where there was an animal…

A wolf. I think?

It was fucking huge.

Perhaps if I saw it standing alone the perspective wouldn't be nearly as shocking, but the thing looked bigger than your average horse. The wolf's expression….if they could have such a thing…seemed tranquil while I watched the honey colored eyes examined me carefully before looking toward the two boys in front of me. I glanced at the boys infront of me for less than a second before turning back toward the wolf but it was gone.

Too many weird things were happening. I would definitely have to follow Edward's advice and get the hell out of here. It would be a far run to the Cullens' house – a minimum of 10 miles. I'd never really attempted long distance running so I wasn't sure if my lungs were more Sidhe or human. Guess we're about to find out.

"Peace." I grinned looking up at the two guys while they looked at eachother with bewildered eyes.

So this was going to be something new. Something I'd learned recently was I wasn't nearly as human as I'd originally thought, but my own mental boundaries had been holding me back. Now that most of those self impose walls were broken down thanks to this new-found confidence it seemed like nothing was impossible.

I covered myself in the 'shine' that my mother describes. This was different than the cosmetic adjustments I was accustomed to exploiting, it felt like a short breeze dancing over my skin. This felt more like an oozing sensation trailing down from my head all the way to my toes. I had no intention of becoming invisible – as far as I was aware that seemed much more like a sci-fi fantasy novel than how things were in reality. But with this I was confident that anyone who began to look even remotely in my direction would have a sudden and irrational interest to look elsewhere. Who needed to be invisible when no one looked in your direction?

One more thing. The two people that I really needed to distract were looking straight at me. _Fey_ magic works a lot differently than people think it works in the movies. A little bit of dust and I got whatever I want, as convenient as that fantasy was, was exactly that…fantasy. They were looking straight into my eyes so no matter what I did I couldn't escape them, no magic would confuse them until I could get them to look elsewhere – then I could disappear. All that I needed was a couple second head start.

I covered their eyes and senses with my 'metaphysical hands' so to speak, something that would have taken an impossible amount of concentration a month ago. It was just like breathing that I could confuse these humans senses…while I stood there I had a sudden surge of pity for them. Humans were so defenseless…

"Look." I pointed in a random direction to the side where I'd seen the wolf. Any direction would have worked really as long as it took their eyes off of me. As I said it I heard my voice sound like wind chimes playing on a spring day – it was an oddly natural sound, and yet it seemed so unfamiliar and beautiful I was enamored by my own sound. To be fair it wasn't really my voice speaking – but as if I amplified the…gusto…. Of my own voice a hundred fold. These humans had no choice but to look away – the curiosity would eat at them within seconds.

They fell for it. And I was gone.

In the short second they were distracted I was already ten feet away and running at a pace that shocked even myself. I could hear them arguing while they looked in my direction for a brief moment before moving onto the next direction – they couldn't hear, see, or smell me. My entire existence had disappeared from their perception for now, but I knew this wouldn't hold. It was just a guess, but probably only ten seconds. That was more than enough time to make it under the guise of the thick wood at the speed I was moving.

My legs carried me at an inhuman speed with absolutely no effort, even less than walking had been. I couldn't understand this change but I didn't really try to at the time – the adrenaline was pumping in my veins at an undetermined pace that forced me to focus only on the task at hand. Getting the hell back to the Cullens'.

My eyes couldn't make out all of the details of my surroundings at the speed I was running, the only thing that kept me from colliding head-on into some massive oak was my instincts. I allowed myself to be completely free from thought and reason and let my body carry me throughout the forest. I laughed exuberantly at this change. There was a sound to the trees…there were laughing with me. The goddess was following my every step right now – I said a small prayer of thanks and continued to run.

I couldn't judge how fast I was running but it didn't seem human. Maybe twenty to thirty miles an hour, but the only time I'd gone that fast was in a car…the surroundings seem quite different when you're free from the metal prison. _This_ was a freedom I had never felt before. A rather large root was in my way and before I even processed everything my legs ducked and threw myself eight feet into the air before continuing my sprint through the brush.

Logic was telling me that I could stop running – that there was no possible danger that could have chased me, except for well…a vampire. But the vampires were my friends.

I'd already given myself in to my instincts though and they were ringing with a sense of danger that surrounded me. I wasn't blessed with well attuned hearing so I ran blindly through the forest hoping that I was making it in the right direction. Branches protruded from the trees randomly like, little wooden daggers that would have cut anyone else moving at a reckless speed but they seemed to never be closer than a centimeter of my skin.

Edward was calling.

There was no sign of it – but I grasped the little phone out of my back pocket just in time for it to start buzzing away.

"Edward." I smiled.

"You'll be at Alice in a minute or so, just keep in the same direction." His voice was guarded.

"What's wrong?"

"Just worried, that's all."

_Lies_. It was as if someone whispered into my ear but I couldn't be bothered it. I shoved it away for later…right now I just needed to know one thing.

"I love you."

"As I love you. Wait for me at my house…my heart is still with you."

I smiled and whispered "Always." But he had already hung up.

It took only a couple of seconds before I noticed Emmett's white jeep stationed at a treeless section of the forest with Alice's tiny frame leaned up against it. I could tell my speed slowed to a human pace until I was inched from her. I wasn't even out of breath…

"What were you doing?" She scolded.

"Uh…nothing? I just went to the beach with some friends. What's with all of this?" I motioned toward the car.

"You disappeared from my sight Nate. It was just like you didn't exist anymore."

"There are a lot of reasons that could have happened Alice…Things have been changing with me, maybe they're throwing off your visions… I'm the one that should be asking questions."

"Why's that?" She asked while getting in the car as I mirrored her movement before we went zooming off into the forest.

"Because you're all acting really damn shady. Edward calls me all freaked out, these two guys pop up out of nowhere ready to fight me. Then Edward tells me to run to a boundary? What the hell is going on?"

I started clicking away furiously at my phone while waiting for Alice to answer my questions. Knowing Alice, I was probably in for quite a wait…all of the Cullens had a habit of just _not_ answering my questions rather than lying.

'I'm with Alice now. When will you be home?' I texted Edward before continuing my pursuit of answers.

"Well?"

"We should wait until Edward gets back."

"No. I just ran like 8 miles from my friends, without warning them, just on some paranoid suspicion that I was in danger. I want to know."

My phone buzzed and I checked it 'I'll be home when you get there.'

"Fine. It can wait." I grumbled in defeat.


	19. Realization

_Hey guys! Okay, so this chapter is the beginning of some significant changes in plot. I'm not going to tell you guys if its a temporary or permanent change, but I think its a necessary one. Once you read I'm sure you'll have a vague idea. I'll go into more detail next chapter :D_

_Enjoy!_

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**Edward**

Alice's call filled me with an instant regret. This was exactly the reason that I had been so hesitant to go on a trip like this, leave it to Nathan to make this difficult at the most inopportune time. We were heading toward Forks in second – but even at the speed I drove it took several hours to make it back. Thankfully Alice had kept me updated throughout the trip so that it was bearable. I could feel my body ease when Nathan walked into the room and glared at me with an animalistic fury.

"What the hell is going on?" He demanded.

"You tell me. Who was there when I was on the phone with you? I heard them but Alice couldn't see anyone near you."

After I admitted the source of my anxiety I shamelessly went to Nathan and pulled him into a tight hug hug. Even the heightened burning in my throat was a comfort, as if it worked as another sign that he was near me. To my surprise Nathan didn't pull back from the hug, but instead held me in an even tighter embrace. Despite his agitation he was instantly comfortable once we were reunited – it seems we have a similar affect on eachother.

"I don't know. They looked like they were from the reservation." He explained but his voice was muffled from leaning too deeply into my neck. His breath was like a fiery breeze tickling down my neck making it difficult for me to focus – but my eyes connected with both Alice and Jasper…their expressions similar to mine.

_Why wouldn't I be able to see them?_

"I have no idea." I whispered quietly enough that Nathan wouldn't be able to hear even in such a close proximity.

The only connection that I could draw to the reservation was Ephraim Black. During our last time in Forks when there had been shapeshifters he had been the leader so to speak. Before returning we had been diligent in our research and were certain that whatever gene gave them such an ability had died out. Old habits were the only thing that kept us from following the antiquated agreement between us and the werewolves.

It wasn't a reasonable explanation. But what other possibility was there? Nathan was under the impression that the changes, this coming into power, was disrupting Alice's visions. It was a possibility – she had no experience with his kind, it would be understandable that she would have trouble understanding something she wasn't attuned with. But as I felt Nathan in my arms nothing was different…it was hard to believe that he was going through some sort of evolution that would leave Alice blind.

"My turn for questions." He said – before pulling back from me.

"Lets sit down, you need to be tired."

Nathan shrugged, his memory replaying everything that had happened all day while I took mental notes of the faces of the two boys, neither of which I'd seen before today; an uncommon occurrence with a town the size of Forks.

I continued to act nonchalantly around Nathan, whom I was sure hadn't noticed my change of mood – even Alice seemed unaware. Jasper of course….Jasper would feel the aching pain that radiated from my heart while I contemplated my next course of action. Ever since Nathan and I had become acquainted he's been placed in a constant perilous danger that seemed to grow more potent each day.

_What's wrong?_ Jasper asked but I ignore him, ushering Nathan to the couch and sat next to him.

How could I ignore the menacing feeling that ate at my stomach whenever I left Nathan alone. Even _I_ put him in danger… and my family…although I'm sure they had all grown to care for him did not have infinite self control with the exception of Carlisle. How could I spare him from this seemingly inevitable fate?

There was one way…but I had already accepted that I could never leave Nathan. I was far too selfish to ever do that. And yet…it seemed to be the only way.

"Explain the boundary thing."

I sighed, for once wishing that I could be alone rather than with Nathan – I needed to come up with _some_ solution.

"The first time we came to Forks there was a group of…wolves that realized what we were. It almost ended up in a war which was something that both wanted to avoid, so we ended up making an alliance….Boundaries were made with the Qileutes so we cannot drink human blood or turn any human. As long as we maintain these guidelines the wolves cannot tell the humans what we are or enter our own territory." I summarized.

Nathan's mouth turned into an 'O' shape while his memory replayed an image of something I recognized. The massive wolf could be no other than the same clan that we faced nearly nine decades ago.

"_It can't be"_ I growled.

"Can you be sure its them?" This time from Carlisle who slipped into the room soundlessly – Nathan jumped at the sound. Carlisle was already considering our options. The wolves were only children and must have severely misinterpreted what Nathan was.

"Its them."

"We were sure the strain died with Ephraim Black…" Carlisle muttered to no one in particular.

"What happened?" Alice demanded. Her thoughts wreaked of frustration at blindness. I could relate to her agitation, it showed that both of us relied too heavily on our extra senses, even after all this time with Nathan it was maddening when he blocked me out. This was the first time Alice couldn't see something…and it was more than obvious she was uncomfortable the position.

"Two young wolves saw Nathan…They must have smelled him and got confused from his scent. Regardless - they don't understand that he's not a _vampire_. They just noticed not human, and with word of him spending time with us…They must have jumped to the wrong conclusion." My reasoning was the only option that seemed likely even though wished I was wrong, it would be incredibly difficult to convince the wolves that they had misunderstood…especially if they were so set on a fight.

Nathan held his hands up as Alice was about to speak.

"Wolves as in what? Werewolves?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes." Everyone said in unison before starting to discuss our next plans.

"We need to go speak with them before they make any more hasty decisions…Do you know how many there are?"

"Atleast two."

"How did you manage to outrun them?" Carlisle asked Nathan, envisioning the monstrous wolves chasing after Nathan ran through his head as it had mine…Just thinking of it made me feel uncomfortable but also mildly curious…After watching the memory of what occurred, Nathan was definitely running at an inhuman speed. Just judging from his perception it was probably around 28 miles per hour. Not as fast as our kind…but more than we had expected he was capable of.

"Its complicated…" Nathan muttered, looking down embarrassed.

Carlisle looked to me and I sighed "The changes are more significant than you let on"

"I don't think that's it." Nathan corrected me.

"What then?"

_I don't know, but for some reason I don't think that can be it. Coming into your own has never been something like puberty…it doesn't happen just because I'm 'growing up.' All of these changes are way too significant in too short of a time.…I might think it is kind of like 'mind over matter.'_

"Explain" I requested as I could. Even though I could process a dozen things at once there seemed to be too many things requiring my attention. I couldn't fight the urge to take Nathan away somewhere that would be entirely safe…although I was beginning to suspect there was _no where_ safe to go.

As long as I was around.

I considered his theory…there was some reason to it – but overall irrelevant to the crisis at hand.

"You may be right…" I nodded before turning my attention back to Carlisle.

"All of us will need to go to the border then." Emmett mused before turning to Nathan "this is awesome dude, if I knew they would have done this I would have gotten you go to the qileutes months ago!"

"Shut up, Emmett." I growled looking at Nathan retreat further into a dark place realizing that he had put us all in danger.

_I ruin everything_ Nathan pouted in the couch

"This isn't your fault Nate." Jasper reminded him and started to ease his emotions, Nathan ignored Jasper while he was lost in thought. I went to him and brought my arm around his shoulder and clung to him tight, placing the smallest kiss on his cheek before continuing the conversation.

"I'll stay with Nathan."

There was no way I could possibly leave him unguarded when the wolves were sure to center their plans around our home if they were to attack.

"We need you there Edward in case they are planning an attack."

"Impossible. We can't leave Nathan here unguarded."

"Let Esme stay with him then." Rose suggested

"That isn't enough…" I growled

"Have a care Edward…they aren't even after him." Alice warned.

"What if I come with you guys? If all of this is about _me_ going past some sort of boundary, they'll realize that I'm not a Vampire once you explain it to them right?"

"I think that would be effective…" Carlisle mused – but looked toward me awaiting my reaction.

That was simply not an option. I was trying to protect Nathan, bringing him to the center of the conflict was not going to happen. Did they want to use him as some sort of _bait_? I could feel my jaw set in a strict line as my teeth grinded together in a frustrated display.

"No." I demanded through gritted teeth.

"He will be safest surrounded by all of us Edward, this will also unlikely lead to a fight."

Nathan stood up with a new found enthusiasm, grinning at everyone. "I'm going." He said with complete confidence.

"No, you are not." I commanded in a tone that I knew would end the conversation.

Nathan leaned in and glared at me rebelliously. Typically I found his adolescent stubbornness an endearing, even cute trait. Right now I was furious at his unwillingness to agree when my only intention was keep him safe. Why couldn't Nathan see that? Why couldn't he ease my worries?

"You're going to have to physically force me on this couch if you expect me to stay." He threatened

"That can be arranged." I growled, watching his smile falter under my murderous tone.

"Traitor" Nathan hissed.

"Stop being so dramatic, they'll be gone less than thirty minutes." Alice sought to comfort him  
"Do you know for sure?"

"No." She admitted, her voice filled with chagrin.

Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and I all ran as fast as we could toward the border of the Qileute reservation. We were nearly sure that such a show of force was unnecessary but we were doing exactly that – we had to give these werewolves a show. Just like last time we would have the advantage of numbers over the wolves.

But these were young shapeshifters…They are ruled by their emotions and prone to make rash decisions. _Just like this one_. Foolish. Idiotic. Naïve. Had these wolves threatened the mate of any other coven in the _world_ they would have just ensured their own deaths. Luckily for them my entire family were pacifists, and none of us wanted a fight…except for maybe Emmett. Actually…thinking of the way they'd threatened Nathan – I wouldn't mind a fight either.

There were several causes for concern. Alice's inability to see anything when the wolves were involved made us all uneasy. We were all so spoiled by her constant predictions of the future that we felt inordinately uncomfortable at the thought of an unclear outcome. Whenever the wolves were involved Alice's visions seemed to fade away, if she saw anything at all it was 'blurry.' She the same word the day that Nathan arrived at school…

"It'll be over quick." Emmett grinned.

We all nodded in agreement even though none of us were particularly excited about the thought of fighting with these young wolves. We ran so fast it only took minutes to reach the border between our territory and theirs. I had been so naïve to think there was no danger in Forks, danger seemed to follow Nathan wherever he went, how had he managed to stay out of trouble during his time in a big city like Hong Kong.

And then I remembered the reason he stayed out of trouble in Hong Kong. Because _I _wasn't there. Nathan wasn't the magnet for trouble, I was. Every inch of me ached with guilt and worry when I thought about the future, and how could I have ever expected this to work? The perpetual burning in my throat whenever I was near him had dulled since our first encounter, but it served as a constant reminder we lived in two very different worlds..

I fought to ignore the emotions that felt like they were trying to claw their way out of my impenetrable skin once we entered the valley at the border.

"What now?" Rose asked, clenching her nose at the thick wolf smell.

"They should be here soon enough, if they really did revoke the treaty they'll be patrolling the boundary." Jasper added.

First it was the smell, it reminded me of taking a strong whiff of ammonia…my nostrils burned immediately at the scent of the wolves. Soon after all of us stiffened at the sound of paws furiously treading through the forest at a speed no natural mammal could produce. One…two…_six_ wolves? I counted over and over in disbelief, it seemed impossible that one wolf could get passed our family unnoticed let alone six of them. This time we didn't have the advantage of numbers – it was dead even. They were just children…I reassured myself.

Everyone shared a look of apprehension when they noticed just how many wolves were charging in our direction.

_Follow the boundary south Embry_

_No way! I want at the bloodsuckers too._

_This may not be a fight, they haven't advanced past the line. They want to talk._

_Dude screw talking Sam! You saw it, that kid wasn't human. See how fast he ran?_

A smile of victory danced across my face once I realized these were the wolves thoughts that played in my head.

_South, Embry. Quil and Jake stay with me, I'm going to have to shift to talk to the leeches._

I heard something very similar to a growl but guessed that it was a canine version of a growl. The wolves were thinking as a single unit, despite our ire circumstances I hide my interest at this phenomenon. It made perfect sense, but the last time we had come to Forks I never experienced such a mystery…Perhaps this only happened when they were wolves, how else would they communicate with one another and act as a single unit with no verbal capabilities?

"They're going to talk." I grinned

"How…" Emmett started to form a question but trailed off realizing what must have happened.

_How did that one know our plan?_

_It doesn't matter. Just stay focused._

The sounds grew closer and closer until we were confronted with two gargantuan wolves. Each were easily the size of a large horse, their hair was dangling in an array of knots, I couldn't help but notice the striking difference between all of their coats, one had almost a beige orange tone while the other was a stark black in contrast. Inbetween them stood Sam Uley – so this one was willing to give up his indentity in order to maintain peace, atleast in their minds…They had no idea I was hearing their each and every thought.

Sam stood taller than us and had a very demanding physical presence akin to Emmett, but it wasn't Emmett who walked the couple of paces forward but Carlisle. He walked in a very careful stride past the boundary, it appeared as though he may have attempted to shake hands with the wolf but he knew better than to make such a mistake.

"We came here to speak with you civilly, we believe there has been a large misunderstanding.

_He's full of shit dude! We should just rip them apart._

_Yea!_

_Guys shut up I can't pay attention to what they're saying._

"You all are quite certain what the treaty entails - just because you've returned doesn't mean it isn't still in effect." Sam said, crossing his arms on his bare chest.

"Of course of course…We have been quite careful not to cross the line, and as always we maintain the same lifestyle. The misunderstanding is regards to Nathan…For some reason it seems as though your is under the impression he's a vampire?"

Carlisle smiled with humor in his eyes. Surely these wolves could tell the difference in his skin, scent, hell…_his heart is beating_.

"No human could escape from us like that."

"I assure you Nathan is not a vampire. Did they smell him? I'm not certain of your kind's hearing capabilities, but could they hear his heart beating? Nate is most definitely alive…and not amongst the undead."

_Oh. Shit._

I watched as they replayed the memory, noting the sound of Nathan's heart beating at a heightened rate…probably because of my sudden warning. I could hear myself from their memories…I had sounded like a wreck, how awful of me to make things even worse for him…

_You __**idiot!**__ What the hell were you thinking?_

_You're positive they were alive?_

_Of course he was! Listen to the heartbeat!  
He didn't smell anything like them either_

_He smelled kind of good actually…_

One of the wolves panted in Sam's direction, I followed Sam's thoughts closely. It appears that the bond they shared was only in the middle of wolf form. He was furious at this mistake…but the memory continued to play through his mind. He wasn't convinced that Nathan was human but couldn't avoid the facts. But that the treaty didn't really matter as long as it wasn't a vampire crossing their grounds.

"He wasn't human." Sam spat out.

"He's not a vampire is all that matters – Nathan is human, but the argument is frivolous. None of us crossed into your territory."

I pointed out the obvious, earning a glare from not only Sam, but the two wolves we could see. The rest were encircling us wishing they could join in. They were so young…so eager to fight. It was clear that this wouldn't lead to a fight unless they were truly eager for a suicide mission

Sam sighed "We'll be in touch, I'm glad this was all a misunderstanding. I would warn whoever – whatever that guy is to stay off of Quileute land." He didn't sound like he was glad at all.

"We'll relay the message – Although he is not bound to any such treaty so we can only warn him.

"He'd do well to heed the warning."

A low growl was building up from my throat that I had to fight with each new word. Now all I wanted was to break this treaty and rip his head off, I'd _enjoy_ his pain knowing that Nathan would no longer have anything to fear. Not that he seemed afraid anyway… And with that Sam shifted into a wolf larger than the rest, the wolf's presense resonated with something…commanding.

_We're done here. Quil keep on patrolling the border in case they go back on their word. I don't trust whatever the hell that guy was_

"Lets go." Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and I could feel the tension slowly leaking from my body, he must have noticed my murderous intentions a few seconds ago…

"Yea."

We doubled-back towards the house where Alice and Nathan were waiting for us – and just as predicted – there had been no trouble. This did ensure that the treaty between our two families was still existent…but my entire family could feel it dangling by just a thread. The wolves were terrified of Nathan, he was something that wasn't in their education, they probably assumed, just like we had, that the things in fairy tales were limited to vampires and werewolves.

It wasn't long before we were back to the house, once it was in sight I could see Nathan sitting on the sofa and impatiently flipping through channels on the television.

Nathan practically ran at me once he noticed I was in the room, I could hear the relief clear in his voice as he muttered "Edward" in an inaudible whisper before taking me in a huge that would certainly break a human's ribs. He clung to me and I took him in willingly, rubbing his until his breathing cooled down.

_I was so worried…if something happened to you because of __**me**_.

"Shh…its okay. Nothing happened."

"I know_"_

"He was watching the whole thing." Alice added sourly.

_Edward, I love you so much._

"I love you too…More than you will ever know." I added – trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

"What do you mean Alice?" Jasper asked

"He saw it. Gave me a play-by-play of what was going on." She sighed. "I feel so blind with the werewolves.

I held Nathan and tried to comfort him, the heat of his body played across my own, I closed my eyes and took in the sensation. It was clear that I would never forget Nathan for the rest of my existence, the changes that he's provoked in me are beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Visually he would always remain the same to me – even the scent of faint jasmine that radiated off of him like a meadow made the fire in my throat feel sublime. Everything felt intensified because of my decision.

I would have to leave Nathan and never come back. He would see me again. As long as we remained in contact he was in a constant state of danger. The pain that this epiphany erupted in me made the thirst seem tame at its worst… I was so certain that leaving him was an impossibility…that I didn't have enough strength to disappear even though it wasn't in his best interest. Only with the knowledge that once I was gone…he would be safe…. he would move on… made it bearable. That was the only thing keeping me from crumbling when he looked at me with his eyes that could see through me unlike anyone else.

"You're tense" He whispered; but there was meaning behind it.

I forced a smile and was certain he would believe it – I kissed him lightly on the forehead and disheveled his hair – "Just glad that this is resolved."

Nathan nodded but he didn't believe me, the doubts were clear in his head now that he was having trouble hiding them from me. Would I be able to handle hearing his thoughts when I left? Or would I just disappear?

No…He would find us.

I would have to hurt him…

Leave it to Alice – the second my decision became a tangible entity she saw exactly what was going to happen. Both Alice and Jasper tensed up for different reasons, Jasper could feel that both of us were now in a deep state of depression…I could feel the sadness building up in her after the vision subsided.

"Edward…" She whispered so quietly Nathan would never hear us.

"Not now."

"You can't…."

I ignored Alice and her thoughts and pulled away from Nathan just slightly so I could look down into his face. He had a bewildered expression before he looked up to me. I watched him slowly turn expressionless and his eyes glaze over while he was lost in a fantasy that involved the two of us. It was adorable and made me want to smile and kiss him…but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I grinned slightly, it felt forced even to me.

"I should take you home. Your Aunt is going to be home soon."

He sighed and considered his options "I guess you're right. Let me go get my jacket."

Nathan winked and smiled at me before he ran off. I made no movement and focused my attention onto Alice.

_Guess he just didn't see._ He thought.

Alice was right in front of me with wild eyes the second he left the room, her expression was furious. She was so tiny, nearly a foot shorter than me and as cuter than any porcelain doll could dream but she looked absolutely menacing up at me.

"What exactly do you expect to accomplish from this Edward? No one is going to benefit. You're going to kill both you _and_ him."

"This isn't something I'm discussing Alice."

 "Oh you _will_ discuss it. This affects all of us, and even though you seem to have some sort of delusion that you have Nate's best interest in mind, you're wrong.."

I sighed "Its only a matter of time before his luck runs out."

"And Eliziah's warning? Have you considered that?"

The conversation with Nathan's mother repeated in my head.

_Its called fading. After a certain point being immortal can be more of a punishment than a blessing…I know you understand what I mean. But once a Sidhe has absolutely no desire to live – they feel as though they served their purpose and want nothing more to depart this world they do. It was as if they never existed…We go back into the earth and wait to be reborn."_

_If I may be so bold – Why does this story pertain to me?_

_It will make sense eventually._

\ She knew that I would end up leaving Nathan for what I believed to be his own safety. Even if Nathan could fade away I knew he wouldn't. He was almost 18 years old…still a child. He had so much time ahead of him, he would find numerous lovers, or perhaps move on to marry someone he loved. Nathan had the opportunity to have children… to have a life that didn't include an isolated and nomadic existence.

Nathan would forget about me with time…just the thought of him moving on felt absolutely unbearable, an unnatural heat touched my face and I knew there would be tears if my body was capable of such a function.

"He will move on." I said, tactlessly loud.

"Move on from what?" Nathan asked with a black quilted jacket that he must have gotten out of the cabinet in my room, I didn't even know if it was his or mine – I'd never seen it before.

I haven't seen Alice so upset over something in…I don't think she's ever been so distraught since we met. Her thoughts were thick with accusations of betrayal while she looked at Nathan, and realized how much she would miss him.

"I thought the wolves would have moved on by now." I lied effortlessly.

"Ah. We're still going to Seattle tomorrow, Alice?" Nathan asked while taking my hand in his unknowingly before we head out.

"Maybe. I'll let you know tomorrow, we should be careful now that the wolves are officially on edge."

Nathan furrowed his brow in frustration.

_This is so stupid. Nothing is going to happen_.

"Aren't you overreacting just a little bit?" Crossing his arms in agitation.

"_I'm_ not the one that's prone to making a big deal out of nothing." Alice said before moving at a speed that would make it seem like she just disappeared to human eyes.

Nathan looked at me confused "What was that all about?"

"We just got into a small roe, lets get you back, its getting late."

The ride home was a quiet one – I was so preoccupied in my own dilemma that I couldn't even pay attention to Nathan's increasing concern.

_He's acting weird._

I ignored his speculations…I was in no state to humor such questions. Continuing this lie was nearly as unbearable as the act itself. In such a short period of time I'd become completely committed to this selfless act. A part of me would die in the process…the only part of me that actually enjoyed this life. The emotion would always be there as a reminder for the best days of my entire existence…

Perhaps I could watch him from afar, be a protector to ensure that his life ran smoothly, that was the least that I could do for him. Nathan was going to be devastated by this…I had who sworn never to hurt him would end up inflicting the most pain in the end, but atleast he would have after the pain. His misery would subside and he would find a replacement…a warm and loving replacement. Someone that didn't dream of murdering him every minute of the day.

Alice was going to tell everyone about my decision while I drove him home, so atleast the initial confession would be dealt with. I couldn't guess how my family would react…Rose didn't want to leave Forks just yet, they didn't want to start over. They were about the age to re-enter university which I knew was Emmett and Rose's favorite age to emulate. My family would leave for me once they could fully understand the extreme importance of the situation, we were leaving for Nathan's well being. And on my priorities his safety meant so much more than my happiness.

Esme would be resistant, she's been glowing the past months I've been with Nathan. Carlisle and Jasper as well, but in the end they would agree…I was sure of it.

Nathan would not stay in Forks long after our disappearance, he had no reason to reside in such a useless place like this. He may disagree with me, but I know most of his attachments to the humans here are superficial at best – in truth – my family and I are the only reason he's stayed here this long. He would continue his life and succeed in whatever he set his mind to. Nathan didn't need the plethora of connections at a disposal…people like him were destined for greater things than the nomadic I offered. He pretended like he didn't have plans or ambitions, but he would be giving up so much to be with me.

If I wasn't consumed by angst I would have probably smiled – but I felt my lips turn into an even more rigid line and my jaw set as I was reminded of the act I was about to commit.

"You're being distant."

We were nearly to his house…I needed to get him out of the car now, I didn't need to watch the odometer to tell we were going atleast 80 miles per hour on the country roads.

"I don't know what you mean." I lied.

"Why are you lyin?" He asked – I refused to look into his eyes where I knew agitation would be clear in them. The second I looked into his eyes I would question my decision.

"I'm not."

He sighed and leaned further into his seat "Are you coming over tonight?" Nathan asked as if he already knew the answer.

"Tonight isn't a good night…" I whispered.

Nathan looked cross while he glared outside the window "I don't know what the hell is going on. But I'm going to know before the night is over, since apparently honesty is too much to ask."

As much as his irritation hurt me…. But if he was upset with me…even better…if he _hated_ me it would make this process much easier for him. Hopefully the hate would be potent enough that he would find someone else.

If this is what I wanted, why did it cause so much pain?

He was right though…his visions were slowly growing more accurate. If he couldn't find it while awake he was confident the answer would come to him in the middle of the night…It was a risk that I had no choice but to take, we would have to disappear tomorrow, every minute that we were here I chanced him finding the truth.

We pulled into his drive and sat there in a prolonged silence until I looked into his eyes and immediately regretted my decision. Nathan glared at me with blinding intensity that made me abhor myself even more…I was grateful that his thoughts were still shielded from me because I don't think I could handle whatever acidic thoughts were racing through him.

"Call me when you respect me enough to tell the truth." He hissed and stormed out of my car and stalked toward his door slamming it without looking back. Nathan seemed to forget that his thought's weren't as well protected once he entered the house and dropped his shields.

_What is he thinking hiding whatever happened? If this is about the wolves its just stupid – I don't even get it. I tell him the truth about __**everything**__ but he continues to keep me in the dark._

Nathan began to focus on me and my family once he entered his room and appropriately slammed the door. It was only a matter of time before he found out. I could hear the my tires screech as I slid out of Nathan's house; the Volvo's engine roaring in protest.


	20. Cleanse

_Hi guys! So this was probably the longest period between updates for me, I'm so sorry I'm going so slower! School has been crazy, and I just recently scratched about 10,000 words worth of material in the fic because it just didn't seem right. So now I'm mostly trying to play catchup. It doesn't help that every time I want to update is down or has some error :(_

_So most of you can guess that the last chapter was leading up to some angst. I can say that after this chapter there will be a period where I'm going to play around a little bit with the format of the fic. One of the characters will be getting more attention because they really have a journey to go through. But you'll find out about that in later chapters._

_Enjoy! :D_

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**Edward**

"You're rushing to conclusions, just like always." Alice shot at me.

"This isn't your decision to make Alice."

"It affects all of us. You apparently aren't considering what you're going to put him through. He isn't going to forget you."

Jasper rubbed Alice's shoulders gently from behind her. She crossed her arms and looked at me all vexed, her thoughts had taken a turn closer to Rose's once she realized my decision.

Alice tensed up as a vision flew passed her memory…

"Nate is going to call me in 47 seconds."

"You can't pick up…" I sighed.

"What if he's in trouble?"

"You would have seen that, not the phone call."

"So you're willing to crush his heart because you don't want to put him in danger, but you think its okay to risk not picking up a phone call?" Alice reasoned even though she believed my logic.

"Fine." I growled.

Carlisle sighed "Are you sure this is the right decision Edward? I'm sure that we can find a way that is less…abrasive… for both parties."

"It's the only option."

Alice picked up the phone before it rang and glared at me as she spoke "Nate, what's up?" she asked casually.

…_Please come over_ Nathan begged in a scratchy voice.

"Sorry Nate I can't." She sighed.

_Do I really mean nothing to you too? Was all of this a lie? _Nathan asked her in a very unsteady voice.

I growled. He knew. How much did he know? If he knew I was just leaving to protect him he would never allow it…but his implication seems to imply that he doesn't mean anything to me. Hearing that hurt more than I could ever have imagined. The temptation to grab the phone tell him how wrong he was overpowered my every thought. He had no idea…but it would be easier this way.

Alice's mouth turned into a rigid line at Nathan's tone.

"What are you talking about Nate? Did you have a vision? It was probably just a dream…go back to bed we can talk about it tomorrow?"

_Stop lying! I saw it all. When is it going to happen Alice?_

She handed the phone to me with a murderous glare in her eyes. Both Esme and Alice exchanged a glance…

"Nathan, what's wrong?" I asked sounding concerned.

"I need answers…" He whispered into the receiver.

"Just relax…I'm on my way right now."

"I love you." He sniffed.

"I know." And hung up.

"I'm going to settle things with Nathan…we need to be gone by morning…He's going to come over here eventually. I have no idea how long its going to take, he's quite stubborn."

"He wont forgive you for this Edward." Alice said matter of factly.

"That's what I'm hoping for."

Before I left Esme and Carlisle were making all of the necessary arrangements to leave Forks. It wouldn't take much time, we always had things prepared just in case something would happen that would force us to exile ourselves from human society. A couple of favors needed to be utilized, but there would be a truck to pack all of our belongings and take it to Denali within the hour.

We didn't have many options for our newest destination, the one place where we were always welcome was the only other coven, to our knowledge, that functioned similarly to ours. This wasn't the first time that we had to escape so suddenly…last time had been my fault too. But my family had forgiven me, and hopefully they would again.

The drive was a short one.

I pulled up his drive and saw him standing on the porch waiting for me. He wore a navy hoodie and a pair of grey jeans. He seemed completely unaffected by the chilling temperature. Nathan made no attempt to hide his Sidhe features from the public – because of this I could see his vibrant eyes standing out against the dreary background of Forks. His heart rate was thrumming so fast…he was also hiding his thoughts from me. He knew exactly what was coming, I should have been thankful that I didn't have to break it to him…but for some reason it made it unlimitedly worse. Was I supposed to shatter his already broken heart?

I got out of my car and moved at a human's speed toward him. Nathan remained silent – eyeing me with an expression that hid everything. Only his eyes sighed with the dark knowledge of the pain that I was about to inflict… I stayed a safe distance from him and forced myself to look into his eyes. He said nothing.

"Lets walk." I suggested and held my hand out to him. Very hesitantly, he took my hand and we began to walk down a trail about twenty feet from his house. It was past twilight and the sun had gone in. We walked through the brush without saying a word – the only thing that occupied the silence was Nathan's beating heart.

I couldn't smell any excess moisture in the air – we'd have at least several hours before there was rain. If everything went to plan…it would take much less time than that. And then I would never feel the touch of his skin again. Never hear him say my name. Never see those unnatural eyes that melted me to my core every time I saw them…So many things, never again. This may be _my_ last time, but Nathan would have many more people after me. Over time he would forget about me – I'm sure of it.

After far too long, Nathan let go of my hand and turned to face me, his icy demeanor melted away when he confronted me.

"Why?" he asked with such angst carried in his tone my thoughts strayed…

Part of me – the weak and selfish part of me that I let dominate me over the past months – reminded me that it wasn't too late. We could still go back to how it was. And then I remembered the discussion with Carlisle…

His face…

I watched while his composure began to slowly crumble – the neutrality he was putting up was fading; quickly. Nathan must have still been in some level of control because his eyes were the pale green that he wore to school. He was strong, he would be able to move past this. I on the other hand…wasn't nearly as capable.

"Things have grown too complicated." I sighed and refined my features so I would remain cold and expressionless. I had to do this. I couldn't allow Nathan to think for even a moment that I loved him. I would have to pretend that I had forgotten everything, given up every promise, because of my own selfish desires. It was these selfish desires that endangered Nathan for so long…exactly what I was going to spare him.

"_Complicated?_" He hissed "What does that mean?"

My insides – my _heart_ – was on fire. Every inch of me was consumed in grief that began to translate into a physical pain. I wanted…

What I _wanted_ didn't matter anymore. Because I _wanted_ Nathan he'd nearly died not once, not twice, but three times. Each time was closer than the next. Nathan's luck would run out eventually and he would die.

Alice had seen Nathan as one of us.

Until then, I'd thought it was impossible. His mixed blood just didn't seem likely to hold onto the virus. I demanded she keep the fact from Nathan which was something she did at great difficulty. I would spare him that fate; I could not take this boy's soul from him. _It was because I loved him that I couldn't_. Of course I _wanted_ to. But this was not about my wants and needs – this is the best for Nathan…Yes…

"There have been hundreds of signs but I foolishly ignored them. I held onto this idea of you and I as if it was a possibility…But I realized with the wolves, you will always be in danger around me. All this time I thought I was afraid for your safety, but that wasn't the case."

Nathan faltered for a moment, thrown off by my false admission. I heard murmurs of his thoughts as his focus was faltered.

"What was the case?" He whispered…but didn't really want to know.

"You're too human for me." I said in disparaging…I would have to hurt him, knowing his insecurities… this was the most efficient way to do it.

Nathan's Jaw dropped and the shield for his thoughts was gone only seconds later. His knees buckled from the sheer force of my words.

_No. How can this be? I'm changing…changing. No…_

His thoughts trailed off into nothing understandable but a dazzling array of images and misery that mirrored my own.

"You're lying." He choked. The first of his tears began to freely flow while he looked into my cold eyes. He was wishing to see any amount of emotion from my face which was only a reminder to keep the stagnant façade…

This was for him. I constantly reminded myself.

"It is the truth. I shouldn't have made so many promises…It wasn't expected that my love would fade."

Nathan grabbed his chest fiercly and gasped. "No…It cant be…" The tears began to flow freely from his eyes as he fought to swallow a sob that carried in his throat. It was as if the forest mimicked his every action, which each breath there was a small breeze…and when the tears began to flow I could feel little crystals dance across my skin. In truth...and I knew that deep inside I was more human that he would ever be…but he was mortal. And that's what mattered.

_Maybe I can reason with Alice…someone? I can't lose them too.._

"We're leaving Forks, and never coming back. It was unanimous – we all have given up on this impossible fantasy. The rest of them have already left…I waited so I could tell you in person…I suppose I owe you that much."

My words made me nearly cringe in disgust, but nothing got passed the shield that helped me keep my true emotions in check.

"I don't believe you." He demanded vehemently.

"Look into my eyes…" I whispered

I had to think of something else, when he was confronted with the wolves. The danger that he was in…when they had threatened him like that…the same murderous impulses drove through me and now I didn't have to mask my emotions because the frenzy was clear in my eyes. Nathan looked defeated at the fury in my eyes.

"Can you at least do me a favor…before you leave?" He asked so weakly that I knew if he asked me to stay…I would have no choice. Please don't ask me that Nathan. Please. All of this anguish can't be for naught…he has a life ahead of him.

"What is it?"

"I want to see you before I die."

Fool. All of this was so he could live, how could he possibly even consider dying at a time like this?

"I'll make you one promise…" I began, and his eyes lit up in hope. "You will never see me again.

I scanned his neck and the necklace I'd given him wasn't there. He must have seen this coming…It didn't matter, it would be hidden somewhere in his room…I would find it.

"Goodbye, Nathan."

I didn't give him a second chance, but ran as fast as I could into his room while he stood there motionless. I was paralyzed the second I entered his room, its was so quintessentially Nathan that it was nearly as painful as leaving him just now….The only difference was that I wasn't hiding anymore. The agony that clung to my being would have been easily read on my face.

Every part of me felt as if it was being seared in the hottest fire – a sensation worse than the transformation a hundred fold. I wouldn't have been able to move it if hadn't been for the knowledge that Nathan would eventually come back…and I would need to be gone. Everything would be set up – I had faith in my family. Even if they didn't understand the importance of my decision they would listen to me.

I avoided Nathan's thoughts even though they were practically screaming at me. There were no words, it was like a malignant black-hole that was quickly destroying him. I took everything I could imagine that would be a reminder, photos, clothes, everything…except for the necklace. I couldn't smell it anywhere. It didn't matter…I couldn't stay here any longer, with every passing second the temptation to take back my decision grew more appealing. I placed the miscellaneous objects behind a loose board in his closet and prepared to leave…before Nathan's sobs began.

There was no time for the necklace, the second the salty aroma of his tears hit me I ran as fast as I could, I needed to disappear. I needed to be as far as possible so I couldn't break my promise to him. Nathan wouldn't have the chance to remember me…he would forget. I would turn into nothing but a fantasy.


	21. Gone

_Hi everyone! First of all I'm so sorry for taking forever to update. But as expected, its very difficult to find the time to even proof read my chapters. Only a couple more weeks of classes though, so hopefully I'll be able to get on top of the fic again!_

_I think I also got discouraged because I've written the same chapter 3 times now (not this one, several ones ahead) But yea - I hope you enjoy! And sorry I couldn't supply a happier chapter after such a long hiatus._

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**Nathan**

No.

No…

This isn't possible.

_Edward can't leave_. _He wouldn't_ I told myself over and over.

"_You're too human for me." _His words echoed – the potent stinging feeling in my chest refreshing at every reminder.

I curled into a ball and hugged my knees so tightly into my chest, hoping to ebb my growing nausea. What I was feeling…it all felt so real. My emotions were literally killing me, and I was helpless to stop them. It felt like hours since Edward left me like this, like some discarded toy. I was just an object to him…a feeble excuse for entertainment during the last four months. After all, I was mostly human. I was nothing.

I was a disgrace to my kind. Every day living like a human was just a reminder at my inferiority. Too weak to live with my kind. Too weak to live with the humans …My life this far has been so pathetic, why not die in the same fashion?

How would I die? I wouldn't be able to survive through this. Edward is…no.. Edward _was_ my only reason for living.

He'd become my everything so quickly – it made me so foolishly confident that what we had was permanent. My feelings would never change. I was a creature of love and sex. Falling in love is already uncommon amongst Sidhe – it didn't help that I thrived in an environment of sex not love.

It was strange, my eyes have been open the entire but I wasn't really seeing anything. I was paralyzed in an alternate reality, the only thing I could see was Edward. And then his family…they'd all abandoned me. We could have been together forever…but I was too human for him.

I've _always_ been too human…

I slipped further into my lethargic state until someone was suddenly standing in front of me.

_Of course_.

How stupid of me? Why hadn't I thought of it earlier? None of this had made any sense to me. Edward would never leave me…Our love was different than love between humans, how could something so intense not be mutual?

This was a dream… Soon enough…I would wake up and Edward would be there next to me.

I had to continually remind myself of this fact so I could force myself to stand up. My body fought me the entire way, everything around me was oddly familiar. It was shockingly real for a dream. I looked around for the figure that was just in front of me. There was a faint sound of the brush and then it disappeared.

It was Edward. He wanted me to follow him.

I ran.

It was just like the other day, my feet carried me at a speed I didn't think was possible. Before I could even register it I was jumping through the forest blindly. The cold rain froze against my skin. With a quick shake of my head I tried to move the damp hairs from my eyes to make my field of vision a bit more clear. I tried to remember what summer felt like, to conjure that inner warmth that made the winter months feel like a warm breeze.

There was no summer ahead of me, the only thing I could think of was the chilling cold of winter.. It was as if no memory existed. But I've seen summer. Felt summer. Why was the warmth avoiding me?

My clatter of their own accord, the frustrating action made it even more difficult to concentrate on my running. Where was I going?

I didn't have time to finish my thought. I lost my footing on something…I didn't even have time to look down but it felt like ice. It wasn't this cold just hours ago, atleast I thought so… I went to take a soaring leap over a particularly large boulder when I slipped on a cleverly hidden patch of ice.

The fall wasn't slow motion like in the movies. It was actually almost instantaneous. Within a second I was on the ground following by a huge flash of white.

The light was temporary…everything slipped into darkness.

"What are we going to do with him?

"Find out what really happened with the leeches."

"They didn't take him with them, he probably doesn't even know."

It wasn't a dream…

A pain seared through my chest like there a knife burrowed deep in my heart. Everything was too real, this pain was too real. I wanted to slip back into my dream world where the pain wasn't so intense. Such an extraordinary sensation had to be physical, but I couldn't feel anything. Only the traumatic pain claiming my insides.

Was I paralyzed? No… Something was holding me down. I couldn't even move enough to cringe away from the pain…Edward… he really left.

I needed to die.

That would be the only way to truly end this.

"He broke the treaty – we're in the right killing him."

"He isn't a bloodsucker dude."

"_What_ is he then?"

I gasped at the stinging sensation that wreaked havoc through my heart as it took a new, more intense turn. No matter what happened Edward would always be there to haunt me, to remind me how despicably human I was. Even with no earthly reminders of him it was as if I'd been branded like some pathetic bovine. That's exactly what I was to him…I was like a pet.

Despite how badly I wanted to die right then and there I knew it wasn't an option. The desire to see Edward one last time was so deeply cut into my soul that I would never be able to truly die without fulfilling that desire. The goddess wouldn't allow it.

Something about me was different though…

I could feel the presence of the people who were talking about it. It was both tactile and ethereal at the same time. They were threatening my life, I could feel it in the tension in their bodies. The _desire_ of it – one of them found pleasure in the idea of killing me.

A sudden image of fangs ripping into my white flesh rode through me. It wasn't the drinking of my blood, these canine fangs wanted more than just blood. Flesh. Flesh and blood. It didn't matter though, there was no wave of here. I could kill whoever these people were without feeling the slightest bit of remorse.

The only thing that mattered was seeing Edward again. Whoever crossed my path risked the wrath of the Sidhe.

"He's awake."

"Jake, go check on him."

I hadn't even opened my eyes yet…but the idea of it felt completely frivolous. I had already seen the room in my mind's eye.

The bonds that kept me immobile were much less menacing than I originally thought though. A faded mauve blanket had been wrapped around me so tightly that I had trouble moving. I had less than a second to take in the information before my field is vision became littered with little black and grey spots. I closed my eyes in a reflex, a roaring pain shot into the side of my head at the slightest movement.

I was running through the forest…why was I running again?

I didn't hear anything…there were no footsteps, but in the doorway was a boy who looked to be from the Qileute reservation. The first thing I noticed that he was just as tall as the other two guys I had seen…

That was when I had somewhere to run to.

I was always safe at the Cullens'

I gasped again, this time the pain wasn't coming from my head.

"Where do you think you're going?" The monstrous boy asked me, an amused grin on his face.

"Leaving." I muttered, standing up, surprised that his grin didn't bother me in the least. I didn't feel much of anything – only the shocking sense of loss.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much bravado in my movement. The second I stood up the room started to spin, everything was spinning and…so blurry. My legs buckled and soon enough I was back on the ground staring at the dusty floorboards. The memories of the passed few days rushed through me in seconds, everything moved so fast that I knew it was something much more powerful than memories. It was a vision.

I watched myself running through the forest…too fast to be human. In fact watching myself it looked absolutely unnatural, as if I was watching some sort of sci-fi film. There were two trucks in front of the Cullens' in the middle of the night, dozens of movers taking everything from paintings to couches from the house into massive U-Haul trucks. I couldn't see any of the Cullens' except for Emmett…why was Emmett mediating the move? It seems like something Esme would do.

If I were to come to the Cullens' Emmett would be the least likely to help me in an act of sympathy. I don't know how I knew this but the information flowed through me freely.

It was all too real. A churning feeling in my stomach came and seconds later I was heaving. I vommitted as if I was trying to expel every bad emotion instead of my breakfast. I winced at the taste of bile and sat there temporarily paralyzed.

"Damnit, he threw up all over the floor." The boy groaned and glared at me.

I barely glanced at the vomit on the floor before standing again, this free of any spinning.. I probably should have apologized – that would be the human thing to do. Technically I was human, but I wouldn't be hindered by that fact anymore. I walked passed him without saying a word – despite his monstrous size I wasn't intimidated – he was utterly insignificant.

There was a certain aura about him though. I couldn't quite place it, but if he were in a crowd there would be something that would stand out…He was a werewolf. Were they as strong as…them?

He made no move to stop me but turned around and watched me – there was another wolf waiting once I reached the corner, this one had both of his hands blocking the doorway. He was different. Physically he was much larger than the rest of them but carried a commanding presence; I wouldn't be able to ignore him so easily.

The throbbing in my head subsided for just a second while I got a glimpse into his past. It wasn't like seeing it even, it was like the information was just being siphoned into me. _I just knew_. His name was Sam Uley and he was the Alpha of the pack. He was a kind leader btu never really had any sort of duty until I'd passed that line…and now with the leeches gone…

_Leeches_?

'No. Don't think that.' I repeated over and over to myself.

"Sam." I said, and was mildly shocked at the sound of my voice. It carried an air of superiority and was just as desirable as my mother's voice could be, a skill that I'd never perfected. Even in my monotonous and emotionless tone they would want me. Why bother with illusions anymore?

"I'm leaving." Wishing it to be true, there was no doubt in my mind he would comply with my request.

He didn't.

"Not until you answer some of our questions."

"No."

"You're not human." He growled.

"Neither are you."

All of this seemed so trivial. I wasn't even impatient, just all of this felt so draining and unnecessary. Once again, these people were just an obstacle, this group of them were just slightly less human. In fact, that made it even more tiresome.

"I _will_ leave, with your permission or not." My emotional state remained unmoved throughout my threat, there was no passion in my warning, quite the contrary. My voice mirrored my mood – cold and calculating – and I wasn't bluffing.

He narrowed his eyes and assessed my threat.

"Lets sit." He ushered around the corner, the warm gesture was certainly not genuine.

The décor of the kitchen was surprisingly warm as if it was straight out of a pottery-barn catalogue. Everything was made of wood and seemingly home made. The amount of cabinet and counters pace was impressive for a house this small, and from the looks of it they needed all of it. In the southern end of the kitchen lay a massive kitchen table that was housing several boys; all of which were gorging themselves on eggs – from the smell of it. And every one of them was just as large as the other

Hovering above the stove was a girl who was surprisingly beautiful. I'd only seen the men of the qileute reservation; this girl had similar features, the burnt sienna tint to her skin was accented by the white apron and pastel colors that she chose to wear. I stopped in my tracks for a moment while she began to prepare a meal of epic proportions, and judging from the others eating so freely even that much wouldn't suffice. The joyous atmosphere was quickly broken the second I entered the room.

The woman who I'd just recently been admiring gazed at me in a daze, her eyes were showing no trails of thought; just pure amazement. I looked at the boys and their expressions weren't nearly as neutral, quite the opposite. Their body language became rigid and uncertain, scanning my every feature and movement. I noticed most of them seemed to focus on my eyes which wasn't much of a surprise…I would have continued with an illusion but I knew deep inside that I wouldn't be able to focus…It seems as though I wasn't able to control much of anything.

I took a seat and ignored the earsplitting silence that permeated from the room. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife – all of these adolescent wolves were unleashing murderous glares in my direction but I couldn't bring myself to care one way or the other. They wouldn't fight me, and even if they would, I would win.

The wicker chair was uncomfortable but I just sighed and watched Sam take a seat at the head of the table. The intimidation game continued for about a minute until some of the younger boys started to eye the food around them that was going uneaten and began to slowly cave in.

Sam's lip curled as if he was about to bare his teeth – but his voice came out cool and controlled. "What are you?"

"Irrelevant."

"You agreed to our questions."

"Not quite." I muttered, already regretting my decision.

The younger wolves shifted uncomfortably and the woman seemed equally uncomfortable in my presence. She stiffened looking at one of them specifically as if she could feel a fight only moments away.

"Paul cool yourself.  
"Where did the Cullens go?"

His words crushed me. I couldn't save face at the mere mention of them. I physically winced and fought to ignore the aching feeling that churned throughout my stomach and seared my heart. I wasn't sure if they would have noticed the break from my apathetic expression but I couldn't even concern myself with it. The only thing I could think of was the silent reminder of abandonment

'They left you.' A small thought in my head repeated over and over since the epiphany that this was the reality. You would think the pain dulled over time.. but each time it was like a new breed of misery – making me want to curl up and die.

I bit my lip and tried to force the words out as calmly as I could muster "I'm not going to tell you anything about the cullens.."

"Why defend them? _They left you_." One of them said in a cold and emotionless tone. They didn't need to attack my physically, their words did more damage than they could imagine.

Why indeed? The answer seemed obvious enough even though it was too pathetic to admit. Just because they left me didn't cause any of my love for them to fade. I would protect their secret forever, it was the least that I could do. They'd all given me the best months of my life – I was a creature desiring secrecy, it didn't matter what they'd done I wouldn't take advantage of that trust.

I stood abruptly from the table and watched all of them stand in unison, their postures were set to lunge at the slightest of movements.

I could sense the danger and my body acted accordingly. I remained as still as I could but felt things moving around the room that was beyond any sort of physical senses. It felt like the slightest breeze brushing against your neck; causing the tiny little hairs on the back of my to raise up in protest. There was a faint smell that I couldn't quite recognize trailing through the air, it was reminiscent of something but there was a freshness to it I couldn't place. The wolves seemed to notice it to – the scent carrying from one to the other. I could literally feel the smell…the magic coating each and every one of them. What was about to happen I had no idea…but it probably wasn't going to be good, at least for the wolves.

They all seemed to notice what was about to happen simultaneously – holding an identical expression of panic.

But it was too late.

One by one there was a faint popping sound that took me by surprise. In nearly the blink of an eye there were several of pieces of cloth flying throughout the air, it was hard to tell one from the other because they had all been ripped and mangled beyond identification

Out of the five boys in the room only two were left standing on two legs. The room was filled now with three wolves the size of a large horse were sprawled across the floor, table, and counter. The largest of the three, with a light brown coloring was glaring at me in the same fashion that he had been moments before. I wanted to be surprised. I wanted to feel a paralyzing fear, but I didn't feel any of it. Perhaps the slightest bit of curiosity maybe…But these wolves were no threat to me. In the end they were human – and had a very human approach to 'protecting.' Who or what they were protecting their pack from was beyond me – and I didn't care enough to give it a second thought.

"What have you done?" The leader asked through clenched teeth.

I shrugged "I'm leaving" and with that I maneuvered across the kitchen, avoiding the gargantuan wolves with little difficulty. No one made any movement to stop me. I was grateful for their aiding me after I'd fallen but I couldn't bring myself to thank them. It wouldn't have been genuine, I'm not even sure if I'm capable of any remotely positive emotion anymore…

I opened the door and it creaked loudly in protest .. I took a glance at the house that I'd just made my dramatic exit from, it reminded me of a quintessential farmhouse…just without the farm. It was a faded red with wooden siding decaying at the edges in some places, there was a decrepid orange truck sitting their listlessly. It probably didn't even work.

There was an inkling of nerves once I headed in a random direction. I had no idea where I was going, but my instincts would surely guide me in the right direction. Would the wolves chase after me? Unless they were suicidal they'd leave me alone, it was clear that I neither had anything of use to offer them, and even if I did I would never comply.

I didn't notice how cold it was. It felt like a typical spring day even though it was January – my visible breath was the only inclination that it was indeed still winter in Forks.

It had been four months since I came to Forks. Just long enough that I was beginning to feel that sense of being established, a relief that only exists once you are _home_. Much of this was due to…

_Don't think about him. Don't think about him_. I repeated over and over to myself, trying to ignore the churning in my stomach that the thoughts provoked.

I had nothing left in Forks for me. I was going to die soon enough – but there were some things that I needed to do before I died. And that took preparation.

I wasn't prepared to go back into the world of humans. My appearance would be a blatant exhibition of the fact that I was something 'other.' No longer was there the luxury of having illusions to hide my true identity.

My plans needed to be put to a halt temporarily. I didn't have any choice but to go into exile. From what my mother told me as a child exiling ourselves from the human world…and any sort of communication in general was something that most Sidhe went through at least once throughout their existence. There were a lot of reasons. My problems were too complicated for any human to understand – even too difficult for Sidhe to understand. There was no cure to my ailment; my heart would remain broken until the day I died, even if I lived for a thousand years they would be empty and meaningless without years without him by my side

It didn't matter where I went long as I was alone.

The sun had set by the time I returned to my Aunt's house. It didn't feel like home. It was just a vessel for memories, very painful memories at that. The pale yellow siding seemed particular unappetizing. I would have never come back to this house if I didn't have something incredibly important waiting for me. I sighed and walked around from the back to the front where the driveway was empty except for my car. At least I wouldn't have to deal with Clarice.

The stairs creaked with each step; the sound was somehow endearing rather than irritating. I took in every piece of the house on this short trip to my room knowing I would never come back. My love was the only thing that made this rotten place livable. Now that my love was tainted it made this ugly place seem even more vile.

Once I turned the corner into my room I knew that something was different. My eyes scanned carefully at the clothes that had been hanging around my room which were now missing. I wasn't surprised and I knew it wasn't my aunt trying to tidy up. I'd seen it. I knew exactly what Edward was going to do before he even knew it, did that make it easier? No…not really. It hurt just as much – I was just able to save face infront of Edward, atleast the best that I could muster up…

My hand grazed the wooden IKEA desk that sat just outside my door. There was an envelope that I knew hadn't been there before, my heart fluttered, it had to be from Edward.

The flighty sensation was temporary at best – once I picked up the letter I saw 'Brown University' written in a clear typefont with dark blue lettering. There was a crest at the end, why had Brown mailed me? I had no intention of going to university, from the moment I stepped into high school I knew that I had a career waiting for me wherever I went. I didn't need a degree to get a job.

Clarice must have dropped it here assuming that it was for me. Something lead me to open the letter, maybe it was curiosity, Sidhe are naturally curious creatures.

"_Dear Mr. Ayres,_

_Congratulations on your admission to Brown University, class of 2011! It It gives me great pleasure to offer you this opportunity, and to show that your hard work and ambitions have lead you to this moment…."_

I never applied anywhere…how could I receive an acceptance letter from any university; let alone Ivy league one? They also used my real name…no one in Forks knew me as anything other than Nathan Aldan…

He couldn't have.

We never even discussed university plans, I hadn't considered any other possibility except continuing on with the Cullens wherever they went. University just seemed so trivial, they'd all gone through it numerous times before.

He had other plans…

The pain returned with a force even more potent than the day he left. The sheer power of it dropped me to my knees, slowly squeezing the sobs from me. I couldn't ignore the memory of him for very long; whenever my mind finally caught up with me it punished me ruthlessly, unleashing a plethora of mixed images that made me want to die seven times over. His beautiful face…the touch of his skin against me. I always felt so safe in his presence…Edward was infinitely patient and tender with me when we were together. Whenever there was even the remote possibility that I would be upset he would beg me to confide in him. Usually I dismissed it, but now more than ever I wished that he was here so he could hear my every thought.

He wasn't here though. All of this was my fault…I ruined the one good thing in my life.

"Why?" I sobbed quietly to myself on the floor. I was curled up in the fetal position again with vain hope that putting pressure onto my chest would help ease the pain.

After I'd spent far too long on the floor crying I eventually forced myself to get up and gather my things. The only reason that I had the strength to get this far was the constant reminder that I would be dead soon enough and there would be only a temporary pain which would be a quick reminder of how very mortal I still was.

I eyed my closet hesitantly, out of all of my earthly possessions here the only ones that truly mattered were placed in there with the utmost care. Because I'd seen Edward taking all of the things that could possibly remind me of him much earlier than was natural I had time to prepare and ensure that he wouldn't succeed. As much as I'd wanted to I knew I couldn't hide everything from him, even under the magical guise I'd placed these items in he would have realized something was off.

The ample time that I was given gave me the time to prepare a very specific illusion on the small wooden box. Retrieving it from its hiding place I went back to my bed…afraid to see the contents…or more specifically afraid to feel whatever emotions they may project. I had no choice but to guard this, I knew he would want the necklace he'd given me for Christmas but it was something that I couldn't part with. It belonged next to my heart…right next to the place that Edward had taken. It was a part of me now, for better or worse…I knew Edward had looked for it, but thankfully the illusion made him ignore it and focus on more frivolous things.

My hands hovered over the dilapidated container and slowly opened it. I stared wide-eyed at the necklace and remembered that day and the emotions that ran through me. Funny how the happiest emotions now provoked the deepest states of misery. I took the necklace and clasped it around my neck. The cold silver made me feel like jumping before it gradually warmed against my skin…reminding me of Edward's skin grazing mine.

This brought on a new onslaught of before I was capable of taking ta few necessities to travel. I packed my passport, a tshirt, my wallet, and cell phone in a small white duffle bag.

I stopped mid-action and prepared myself for a vision. It was almost like a hiccup, you could feel the buildup but you were never quite sure when it would actually surface.

There wasn't much time before this vision came.

_A black Mercedes pulled into the driveway of my aunt's house. It had an implication of luxury that was sure to draw attention from the townies of Forks. It waited patiently for several minutes until someone walked out of the house. The boy was shockingly attractive. Even with a stoic demeanor everything he looked flawless – there was a pale lure to his skin that was similar to a vampire's, but it was more illuminating than theirs it._

_Looking into his eyes it was completely cold and devoid of life… and yet the brilliant color of them made it look like he could ignite you with a single glance._

Was that me…?

I didn't look the same. It never occurred to me that I hadn't looked into a mirror since all of this – I guess I didn't have to now. A car would be here in a couple of minutes …maybe it was already here. It was probably my mother…normally I would have been irritated by her controlling tendencies but it didn't matter anymore. I was as good as dead; may as well go where fate takes me.


	22. Drive

_Hi Everyone! Ok so this is a very short chapter because finals just finished and I'm getting settled in. I've just started writing for this fic again after taking about a month break, so hopefully you guys will see some updates soon :) This chapter is so short because I feel like I've been neglecting with updates lately so I cut off the chapter earlier than I normally would have (Its all written, just not proof read!)_

_Also, there is a new character introduced in this chapter. I didn't think of this at the time, but I wanted to make it clear before people even consider it that I have no intention of creating a parallel to the Edward/Bella/Jacob triangle :) But I hope you guys enjoy. Please review, I take them all to heart!_

* * *

**Nathan**

It was always weird when a moment from a vision came into fruition. What was even more unfamiliar was that there was a disconnect. My visions were startlingly accurate to the very last detail, and yet, there was someone holding the door open for me. Someone who hadn't been in my vision. My mind quickly drifted from this thought, unable to maintain attention on any one detail except for the fact that Edward was gone.

My unexpected visitor didn't look like your typical chauffeur. He wore a grey blazer over a white hoodie with a pair of casual jeans that were significantly worn. For someone so short he had a demanding presence that was hard to ignore; something about him drew my attention that I couldn't quite place…

His skin had a pale yellowness to it that instantly reminded me of Hong Kong natives.. I was growing increasingly apprehensive, too many things were working in his favor right now. He opened the door for me and didn't say a word – he smiled with an innocent humor that reached his eyes. Ignoring this, I slipped in the car and plopped my bag down on the other side when I looked in front and the driver gave me a small salute from the rearview mirror. Definitely not the driver.

As expected, he wasn't the driver, and slid into the left hand side gracefully with a grin clearly showing on his face.

"Who are you?" I asked.

He sighed and put his seatbelt on "I'm Jared."

"Why are you in my car, Jared?" I had planned on sounding menacing, but the only thing I could hear coming from my voice was a cold emptiness.

"I'm here to escort you to exile."

Exile? The fact that he was informed enough to know the vernacular was a concern; if he knew this much that was probably only the tip of the iceberg. He would become a problem, I didn't need to see the future to know this.

"That won't be necessary. You'll be taking the next flight back to Hong Kong." I looked into his brown eyes while I spoke. He looked back at me not showing the slightest resistance to my foreign eye color, but even as I said it I forced power into my every word. He would feel compelled to take the next flight to Hong Kong, regardless of what orders my mother had given him.

"I won't, actually" He laughed, not wavering from my gaze.

"Yes. You will." I shot back indignantly, putting more effort than I had ever needed to to convince a human.

Jared whistled "Damn guy. If I wasn't prepared for this you could probably have me naked and doing the hamster dance by now. You probably gathered this by now – I'm not Sidhe, but I am Fey. I know your tricks and how to protect myself against them. And trust me, you'll be coming with me whether you like it or not.

He didn't smile as he said it. Jared's young face seemed to age while he wore this serious expression rather than the grin preferred when I came into the car.

What the fuck was going on? He was Fey? Escorting me where? I didn't need to work at saving face in front of him – I was pretty sure that I wasn't capable of any sort of expressions at this point. My mother was always managed to be a thorn in my side but this brought it to an entirely different level. I was willing to humor her but to bring a stranger into this situation was utterly unforgivable.

"Prepared?" I tried valiantly to keep my voice casual.

Jared reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small glass container filled with some sort of liquid that I didn't recognize and waved it around playfully. "Your mom prepared it, a little dab of it makes all of your tricks completely useless. Not that I needed it anyway." He added the last sentence in a teasing manner - I wasn't sure if he was threatening me or trying to convince himself.

"Well you better hope that it lasts long. Because the second it wares off you're going to find my mother isn't nearly as convincing as I am." I threatened him, feeling slight traces of anger.

"Guess we'll have to see. But you're getting on that plane whether you're conscious or not."

"They won't let you board with a hostage."

"You're not the only one that can turn the charm on." He smiled and it was brilliantly white. He had dimples on his right cheek whenever he smiled, once I noticed this I started to pay closer attention to his other features. He had a little dot up near his eyes and long almost feminine lashes. Jared's cheekbones were high and sculpted but they appeared masculine rather than the expected feminine…maybe it was his rounder face. Hong Kong pop stars had nothing on him.

My mother may have been thorough in educating Jared but my guess was that this was just another standard driver from the Seattle airport. I scowled and crossed my arms, it looked like a pout but I didn't care. I ignored him for the rest of the ride and just looked at the dreary landscape of Washington, working very hard to not let my mind wander to Edward…

The sound of vibrating broke the dull silence once we were closer to the airport in Port Angeles. Jared picked up the phone and answered in Cantonese,

"Hello?

Yea I have him. We'll be at the airport soon.

So everything is settled then?

What's that?"

He was silent for a moment and then looked over in my direction curiously. I paid no attention to him and continued to look out the window but was careful to note his expression from my peripheral vision. He was talking to my mother…if I had any inclination that he would give up the phone I would have asked to speak with her.

"It'll cost you.

How long are we talking?"

Jared looked over at me apprehensively again before pursing his lips and nodding "Fine. But you'll need to send me more ointment. No I won't call, between you two I should have a pretty good idea of what's going on.

Yea we'll become friends for sure." He grinned and jabbed my arm.

Jared's hand lingered over the piece of moontouched flesh and bit his lip while looking over me warily. I watched over him carefully as he clearly fought over the tempting allure of a Sidhe.

I pulled my arm away and glared at him "Don't touch me." I hissed and turned toward the window.

"Harsh."

"What was that call about?"

"Eliziah doesn't trust you to not kill yourself, so I'm going to play babysitter for a while."

My anger got the best of me. It was something between desperation and fury, but if he were to stay with me I couldn't find Edward. I needed to find Edward, that was the only thing that mattered.

But how could I get away? Jared was probably better than me at hand to hang combat. Lesser fay usually were, they didn't have powers to rely on like I do. My mother also hired him – so he was well trained.

IT was an assumption, but I bet Jared hadn't been so thorough to protect the driver from my abilities. I could take control of him…and from there...if the car would crash, maybe I would die.

Death…just the thought of it was almost euophoric. A world where this constant flow of pain didn't exist. Jared probably wouldn't die but that didn't matter as long as I was dead.

I looked through the rearview mirror waiting for the driver to look in my direction. It didn't take long at all, he'd probably been eyeing me curiously during most of the ride. The second our eyes connected I knew he was mine. A single look would be enough to enrapture any human, I was something beyond mysterious and exotic. I was like the finest brandy to a recovering alcoholic, no one regardless of sexual orientation could deny me…except for him.

I felt the renewed pain of my old memories with Edward which drove me to act without any thought; we would be near the airport soon enough and I wanted to keep the casualties to a minimum.

"Drive faster." I commanded, and instantly felt the car push forward until there was an unnatural rush of speed while he floored the pedal.

"What are you doing?" Jared asked while saving face, but I could feel the tension build as he calculated my intentions.

"Faster."

I looked out the window and saw the blurring cityscape…death was so close I could practically taste it. I could feel the first sense of excitement. since the incident. Beautiful death – a numbness that would soon end all things.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jared asked the driver but he didn't answer, his eyes looked back at my own and then to the road every couple of seconds.

Jared laughed "You're not going to kill me."

"I'm not trying to kill _you_."

Jared looked at me blankly for less than a second until he realized what I meant. "Oh shit." He muttered. "Are you insane?"

"I'm sorry Jared…but I need to die." I whispered and closed my eyes – prepared for death.


	23. Exile

_Here's another relatively quick update. This chapter is pretty different from the rest, I think there might be a little disconnect but its the best I can work with. This is where I started to re-write time and time again. I just couldn't get it right. It had been a while since I read this chapter though (Currently writing its much farther ahead) but I'm relieved to read Jared. I really do like his character and have a lot of fun writing him._

_I'd like to know what everyone elses thoughts are on him. I have tons more written between Nate and Jared but I'll probably end up posting most of it under a new story or one shot. But if people enjoy his character I might pay more attention to him in where I'm at right now in the fic. So let me know :)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Nathan**

I swam around in a pool of darkness. I always expected the afterlife to be a bright place, littered with trees and flowers, with the sun shining night and day. Were there days and nights in the afterlife? Maybe…

A stinging pain assaulted my head once my thoughts began to work. Why was I hurting…?

It took an unmeasured amount of time before I became aware of the rest of my body, there was no pain except for my head. The dull throbbing bothered me but I made no movement to change it. I was there in this dark limbo hoping for something to present itself.

My eyes were closed.

'Idiot' I chastised myself before opening my eyes. At first when my eyes opened all that was visible was a blinding blur of light. I could barely manage to make out subtle shapes around me – the only thing clear was that I was surrounded by a very bright, white _something_. My eyes shut of their own accord after a couple of seconds. I groaned and took my hands to try to siphon out some of the light as if I was looking through a telescope.

Could I be dead? This was definitely what I had imagined.

A figure stood at the base of a rectangular padded shape that was reminiscent of a bed. It took quite a while before I could make out a smiling face.

Nope. This was definitely not the afterlife, if I believed in hell that would have been my first guess. Jared stood in front of me with a smug grin and his armed positioned across his large chest impatiently. I still wasn't quite myself yet – he seemed ethereal standing in front of me. I examined him as if he was an object. His black hair was so short that it gave the illusion of a buzz cut. At first I would have thought it added to the roundness of his head; but picturing him with any other style seemed impossible. It suited him.

Jared was wearing very little compared to last time I saw him. He was standing there…probably around 5'8…wearing a black tank top with a pair of casual red gym shorts. The tanktop left little to the imagination, it proved my guesses at his physique earlier. His biceps were clearly defined and bulging in all of the places that would drive high school girls wild. Either he had just started lifting weights or he was careful not to take it to a point where his veins were builging.. Maybe that was just because he was fey. Other than his large arms, I could tell that the rest of him was just solid.

Jared took a seat at the foot of the bed and sat Indian style parallel to me.

"Are you done checking me out so we can talk?" Jared grinned, he looked pleased at my reaction. He completely misunderstood my gesture of staring at him. It was calculating – there had been no emotion or lust involved, but It took too much effort to correct him. I wasn't even sure I could speak..

"What?" I asked groggily and lifted myself up. It took more effort than it should have, I had no idea how long I was out but it wasn't nearly long enough. The room began to spin at my small movement.

"Don't you dare move until we have a talk.. We need to clear some shit up." He said – his voice and expression completely serious.

"Huh? Where am I? _Why am I alive?_" I hissed as if it was an infliction.

Jared glared at me. "Your little trick with the driver made my life a living hell the last 24 hours. Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to get someone who looks like a _corpse_ on a plane? Do you have any idea?" Jared clenched his fists while he spoke.

I traced my memory back far enough and remembered what I'd done. At the time it seemed to be the simplest solution to…to what?

An image of Edward echoed through me, forcing me to face the hearth-wrenching pain that I had sought so desperately to escape from. I had to escape. I had to die. Without thinking, I forced myself up and prepared to run away. Run toward one of two things. Death or Edward – whichever came first.

The second my feet left the bed and touched the carpeted floor I was confronted with an onslaught of memories, each one more painful than the next. I remembered the first time we kissed…or the first time that Edward and I really met. The hike in the woods with him, I could still taste the subtle traces of the forest on the tip of my tongue. It made no sense but it was as if everything was in both fast forward and slow motion at the same time. The images ran through my head so quickly it was hard to understand what was going on – but I was able to capture every single painful detail of the visions.

I could hear the shrill sound of my scream but it sounded distant as if I was listening to someone else. The sensation of Edward touching me, even in vision, sent thrills down my spine of both ecstasy and misery.

I couldn't breathe the pain was so intense. Not only was my heart on fire but my lungs fought for air – I came back to reality and each breath burnt through me, inducing a fierce cough.. Each breath I took was filled with the aroma of some flower I couldn't recognize; but the scent somehow made me comfortable even though it was entirely foreign.

The smell instantly relaxed me and made me feel more aware of my sorroundings…I'd been flailing about wildly from the pain until I slowly began to cool. There was a large black mass around me and I was back on the bed. I couldn't see much more than that, the tears that had formed during my vision blinded me.

Something was covering me, at first I thought I was being restrained so I didn't wreak havoc across the entire room in my madness. Was this black mass…Jared? It couldn't be. Warmth spread across my back and I could feel a hand rubbing back and forth across my back affectionately. It took some time, but sooner than usual I was able to breath and the pain had subsided so it was clear to think again.

"Shh…Its okay." Jared whispered soothingly.

The part of me that was capable of rational thought felt uncomfortable, but my body fought to stay in such close proximity to this entity that oozed a relaxing aura. Everything about it made me feel better; There was no more pain, just a bizarre contentment with everything. Jared sat next to me holding onto me in a tight hug, his warm hand tracing back and forth across my bare skin. Edward felt like a distant memory while I sat there sniffling.

"What are you doing?" I asked weakly. This was so out of character for Jared. I had no idea who he was…fey never needed an excuse to touch one another, but we were not even on amicable terms.

"Let me explain. Don't go running off this time." Jared said with his usual stern tone when he was serious. He gently let go of me and let me naturally fall against the pillows of the bed while he sat cross-legged across from me.

"You weren't supposed to get off the bed. It was just going to be a precaution in case you went nutty again." He eyed me guiltily.

"Huh?"

Jared paused for a while before starting to speak, but as he spoke he moved his hands around nervously.

"Basically, your mom sent me here for a lot of reasons. My kind….we're meant to ease the suffering of others. In the past my parents both used to attach themselves to humans that faced a certain struggle, their presence alone helped them through whatever they were going through. It didn't really happen with fey since we rarely see a loss so because we're immortal.. But Eliziah sent me with you in hopes that I would help make this easier…"

"You're lesser fey then?"

"I'm not sidhe." He answered – somewhat bitterly.

"I appreciate you helping, but it isn't necessary. You can go home – I'll be dead soon enough."

Jared grinned when I said this. "That brings us to the other thing I was going to talk to you about."

"What?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"Don't fuck with me." He glared.

"What?" I repeated

"You heard me. Don't fuck with me. I'm staying and that's the end of it. Its not in my nature to hurt you or make this any more difficult.…I already can feel what you feel. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you think you're in charge here, because you aren't."

"Why waste your time?

I got up to leave the room. I needed to get the hell out of here…talk to someone…just not him.

"I wouldn't do that. The same shits going to happen once you step off this bed." He smiled smugly.

"Then make use of yourself and fix it." I hissed

"Not until you give me your oath that you won't try to kill yourself, me, or make this more difficult than it needs to be." Jared eyed me carefully as he said it, as if he was expecting a violent response. He wasn't far off…irritation flew through me. I wouldn't be able to lie…so he had me there. But was he as clever as Sidhe? Maybe I could dance around it.

I sighed and started to speak – I didn't even need to think about re-wording my sentences by now. "I swear by the Seelie throne that I will not attempt to kill myself, you, or intentionally make this difficult for you during my stay here."

I looked at him expectantly…and then he grinned. Shit.

"Attempt? How about… 'I wont kill or harm myself or you.'"

"Asshole." I growled.

"Are you going to say it or not?"

If looks could kill mine would have undoubtedly melted Jared's face off. Alas, faerie or not, I wasn't quite capable. I repeated his words verbatim and watched his pearly smile come to the surface once his victory was sealed. _Don't get used to it_ I thought to myself. It was only a matter of time before I found a way around it. I never promised that I would stay here, wherever here was, and had no intention of doing so. I needed to find Edward…

Just thinking his name brought a new wave of emotions through me – each pain came one after another as if I'd never experienced it before. However by now…this feeling was oddly familiar yet each time it stabbed through my heart it was like striking a new nerve.

"What's wrong?" Jared asked me with a refreshed concern – his manner was far too friendly for what we were. This arrangement we had was purely business…I was in no place to be making new friends.

"Where are we?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Go take a look." He ushered me out of the bedroom and began to walk away without waiting for me.

I stepped off the bed hesitantly. The moment my bare foot grazed the soft off-white carpet I was prepared for an attack of the past. Luckily there was no such thing…relieved, I followed Jared's shadow.

The hallway was exactly what you would have expected from a quintessential tropical villa. Sunlight was billowing out from every corner of the hallway while I walked through – the place seemed moderately decorated just like most of the buildings that my family owned. There were subtle contemporary touches, the décor was minimal but tasteful. Even in my numbed state the warmth of the sun and fresh wind across my bare skin was pleasant.

Only then did I realize what I was wearing. It definitely wasn't the same thing that I'd gone to the airport in. All that I had on was a pair of gym shorts similar to Jared's. _Had he been the one that changed my clothes_? I thought acidly

I must have been staring at my outfit; or lack thereof, because Jared commented from the other side of the room "You were wearing a shirt. You ripped it off in the middle of a fit while you were sleeping.

"Oh.."

Once I took a few more steps I was completely enamored by the vision in front of me. Perhaps it was all of the time in a dreary place like Forks – but wherever we were was without a doubt the opposite. The ocean was a vivid blue that reminded me of the Mediterranean. The white beaches seemed to play with my fantasies during with my time there, and yet now…what I wouldn't give to go back just a short few weeks. Back to that dreary wasteland.

"We're on the coast of Siam, near the Malaysian border."

Jared's antiquated name for Thailand reached a sore nerve, Edward tended to use outdated terminology when we were together.

"Its called Thailand now" whispering my correction.

Jared took a handful of some sort of food and trotted over to my side happily. We both sat in silence. I had no idea what he was thinking at that exact moment…but I didn't really care. Just being around him made me relax and collects my thoughts with very few emotional distractions.

How long would I be here? It shouldn't take too long to evade Jared, even though he seemed very crafty and experienced, he'd shown a clear weakness to the touch of my flesh. I only had to wait long enough for him to trust me. It wouldn't be long at all…and this emotional numbness of Jared's aura would make it even easier to complete my task.

"So this is paradise." Jared commented jokingly.

"Maybe for you." I grunted, unable to keep the acidity from my tone.

"Of course not, Sidhe are never happy with anything."

I didn't make any effort to look in Jared's direction - just speaking to him made it feel like my chest was going to explode from the frustration of it all. He didn't seem to mind, but I could feel a tickling heat radiating against my bare arm, just next to his. Distances and personal space didn't really exist in the world of the fey, so it wasn't surprising he chose to stand especially close. However, there was an aching suspicion now that my mind wasn't being preoccupied by the loss of Edward. I could feel the sexual tension building in the room, Jared may not have noticed it yet but I felt every minute desire. Visions ran through me with the subtle fantasies that he was projecting. It was between him and I. This wasn't anything out of the ordinary so it was easily ignored. One point for concern...Jared wasn't the only one fantasizing.

I frowned and muttered, my voice filled with malice, "Remember your place - You are lesser fey. Don't dare presume you know anything about Sidhe" I spat.

"Don't feed me that bullshit, you're mostly human. Barely Sidhe at all. You aren't even immortal, so instead you have a babysitter with you." Jared growled back.

The jab didn't hurt - I was far beyond petty insults at this point. Words couldn't even compare to the pain that Edward had called me. Just thinking about him...there were no emotions this time. Instead I felt utterly apathetic and calculating while I went through the steps of a plan. Dieing without seeing him one last time, even if it was just for closure, seemed unbearable. All I wanted was to see his face, maybe even hear his voice...one last time. I would have to find Edward before I died. It was a reasonable decision by any means but there was a force compelling me to find him. This otherworldly pull acted like a promise, once I thought it there was no erasing it. Nothing seemed the same once it was made clear that this was the only option available to me, my entire body was tingling. This happened sometimes, my mother told me it was when your destiny changes, it was the goddess brushing up against you.

"What was that?" Jared asked suspiciously.

"The goddess..." I whispered

'Two weeks. I'd find Edward in two weeks.' I promised myself.

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_Hope you enjoyed! Please review and I'll try to get the next chapter out ASAP ;)_


	24. Containment

_Sorry everyone for the long update. I'm at a summer program where I shouldn't be speaking or reading any English, so proof reading is definitely against the rules! But oh well. _

_So this chapter is actually the main reason the story isn't finished yet. I may have re-written this chapter at least ten times, and they weren't even minor revisions. Just couldn't manage to find the perfect situation that Nathan would have to deal with. Something needed to happen, and I knew the final product, but the journey there was so much more difficult. It makes sense - the journey is much more important than the destination._

_I do like the outcome of it, but I think some of my readers will probably be irritated or dislike it. I do understand that between last chapter and this one...its a bit much. Maybe a lot much :P But all I can do is promise that it is completely relevant, and we'll be back on track soon enough._

_Enjoy!_

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**Nathan**

Three years.

Its been three years since that day I swore to find Edward.

If my human side had survived Edward breaking my heart, it was now dead and buried.. This time however, it hadn't been a quick death. With each passing day I could feel my humanity slip further out of reach. Eventually…there was nothing left to miss.

At first the pain was too much for me. All the tests, cuts, poking, prodding, injections…no human would have been able to survive what I have gone through. But unlike the Vampires my body is still fragile, so I may not die, but I will sit here day after day, year after year praying for it all to end. But there was no end.

I'm immortal now.

In the beginning I had hopes that the still open wounds Edward had inflicted would fade away with my human self; but all of that had been in vain. The sense of loss was just as real as it had been – perhaps even more potent now that I've had years to relive it. I will never day, and because of that I will always be in pain. What I'm living is worse than any hell humans could imagine – each day I am overwhelmed by emotional and physical pain that is working so hard to destroy me.

Someone, somewhere, found out about me. I still have no idea who or why even with my second sight. Something is blocking my visions about particular troublesome topics…can't think clearly. Can't focus.

One day I was asleep, the next I was here.

Where is here? A good question.

I was in a constant state of darkness; and not just the internal kind. It didn't take long for the humans to place a secured metal blindfold on me. They wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Every since the blindfold has been a permanent addition, its been months since I've seen anything from my physical eyes.

They had given me an opportunity in the beginning of my imprisonment, one that I willingly took advantage of.

I watched an upper level politician from the Department of Homeland Security from a distance through a vision, there normally healthy complexion quickly turned to a sickly pallor as they watched the contents of the security recording. It was the footage from the same day that I had been tightly bound with an abundance of chains, as well as a pair of iron sleeves that kept my arms perpetually locked in place.

They had taken off my blindfold for one of the senior officers to see my eyes. It was the only evidence at the time; the blood work results hadn't come in yet. However the humans thought they were prepared for the worst. The perfectly square, white room was filled to the brim with armed US infantry. The numbers didn't matter – Edward was the first to start the downward spiral. Humans were replaceable objects, and I treated them as such.

The senior officer watched as his heavily trained guard proceeded to shoot one another with the rifles they had been armed with. I don't remember hearing anything, but the sound from gunshots on the tape was deafening. There were no screams – and when there was only one left alive, the soldier reached into his holster without hesitation. He uncocked the safety switch which was more daunting than any bullet could have been. There was silence for a few brief moments before he firmly placed the gun into his mouth and pulled the trigger.

During all of this I sat without making a single movement. I must have done that, I've watched it several times from a vision. But those are the only memories I have, and yet…I don't regret it.

I would have escaped just then, but I didn't fully understand my bonds at the time. With each tiny shift there was a little twinge of pain from my shoulder all the way down to my finger tips. The more I moved the pain simply multiplied until I found myself paralyzed by the sheer force of it. From an observer's perspective I watched the droplets of blood drizzle down my arms into the basin in the floor. They had installed a little hole at the bottom so no one would have to come and clean up the blood.

Even though I knew exactly who was in charge of my imprisonment, I could do nothing about it except watch willingly.

At a senior officer's order they removed my blindfold only one other time. It yielded similar results. The moment I saw their faces…the rage was uncontrollable. I knew killing them wouldn't help me escape, but I _wanted_ them to die. They were cows for the slaughter. Each one that died made me feel just the slightest bit satisfied.

Other than that, they decided to keep me completely (atleast to their knowledge) unaware of my surroundings.

Then there were the tests. I couldn't see _what_ they were looking for or trying to do – but it didn't matter anymore.

Every day I reminded myself that I would be released soon. I saw it.

Two days and my opportunity would reveal itself.

My mother was safe, although she wouldn't have been able to escape them if she didn't have her illusions, about 10 passports, and near unlimited funding. She was housed in a secluded villa about 60 kilometers outside of Pyongyang. In North Korea she had guaranteed safety from the American government, and was also able to live a life of luxury because of the North Korean government's debt to my family; why they were in debt I had no idea.

Once I was free she wanted to be sure that I knew to come straight to her so something like this wouldn't happen again. She pleaded with me in her dreams for me to join her until we would be safe again.

That wasn't my plan.

Sitting in an isolated state left me to my own devices nearly 24 hours a day. Since there were no senses to really understand or idle about my only other option was to practice and harness the power of my sight.

After so much time to do this – when I was able to focus…I could watch the past, present, and future with startling accuracy.

And yet…the only that I really wanted to see was invisible to me. Edward has disappeared from me in every way. He was still alive…I would know if he died…

The Volturi had a guard who could find someone, regardless of where they were. He would be able to find Edward – I was sure of it – _I'd seen it_. The Volturi have been the focus of my visions for over a year now; I was well versed in the mannerisms, personalities, and abilities of each and every member. The Cullens were vague when they described exactly what the Volturi was – but they seemed to be like a governing body over the vampire world. All of them were terrifying; some more than others.

So two questions became obvious very early in my planning.

First, how could I manage to get them to hear me out before they tried to kill me?

Second, would they actually help me?

I was pretty confident that one of the three heads of the Volturi family, Aro, would be so intrigued with me that he would hear me out. He seemed to have a fascination with the exotic or extraordinary. I would be a prized specimen. Chances were in my favor that he had never encountered one of my kind in his 2,000 years. Would his interest keep me alive? I think so…especially if I have something to offer.

What did I have to offer?

The most delicious, aromatic, temptuous blood they've ever encountered. But this is exactly the reason that confronting them was such a reckless move.

I remained unphased when an obnoxious ringing echoed through the room, the sound was a warning that the unnecessarily large door to my room was about to be unlocked. The buzz was soon followed by a 'clicking' sound which was soon partnered with quiet footsteps on the tile floor.

"How long has he been here?" an unfamiliar female voice asked

"Its almost 3 years now."

"He looks normal to me."

"Trust me, you don't want to see what he really looks like"

"_Yes,_ I do. Are you aware this is a gross human rights violation? Right here. Is that an electric current? Those syringes? Look at him, he's just a kid. The unfamiliar voice started to sound more alarmed by the second. Maybe this was how I would be free from this place.

"Take off the mask and gag."

"I can't do that M'am."

"Do it. I'm the one who decides where the millions of taxpayers dollars is going, and right now this miniscule project is consuming millions. I want to see if its worth it."

I wanted to smile for the first time in years. My heart rate began to flutter as I feverishly planned my next step. The physical boundaries still couldn't stop me from changing my appearance at will…visualizing my eyes turning into the dullest green. I dulled all of my other features except that I made sure to maintained a boyish look…She needed to see me as nothing more than a vulnerable child.

"Fine. Guards!" the more familiar voice yelled, not sounding the least bit pleased at this plan. This was a very bad position for him. Either I would be released and him likely court martialed or a high ranking politician was going to end up dead on his watch. I had no incentive to kill her…she was my savior.

"Take it off." He sighed.

Looking human wouldn't be enough. This prolonged torture would have had a dramatic physical consequence on any human. Warm human fingertips shakily grazed by skin before removing the plated mask that completely removed my visual capabilities. The hands were covered in latex – they knew better than to touch my bare skin.

Before they had the opportunity I made my skin several shades paler, added dark rings under my eyes, and brought an aura of weakness around myself. I needed to appear like a dying human to this inspector. There was no need to roll her – sympathy would do the job.

Once the mask was removed the sudden flash of bright white light made me force my eyes in response.. It was December 2nd the last time the doctor's let me see my surroundings. Today was April 24th.

The gag was next.

"Open your eyes." The unfamiliar female voice asked me in a motherly tone. She had children, two boys, both around my age. The tone hadn't told me that…I simply knew.

I tried to open my eyes and was attacked by another intense wave of white before closing them again.

"It hurts" I winced – willing my voice to sound much more vulnerable than I really was.

"Take your time" She whispered.

"Wait till you see his eyes, you'll understand."

As if it was a command I opened them and ignored the stabbing sensation at my eyes. The pain brought fresh tears that hugged my eyelashes while I tried to stare into the face of this woman. At first they were both a blur. It took several minutes before I could make out the new face in front of me. She was middle aged, wearing a stylish skirt-suit jacket combo with a flawless bob. Her dull blue eyes watched me eagerly through a pair of Prada spectacles.

"Can you see me?"

"Yes." I whispered.

"What the hell is going on?" Nick was his name. He wasn't in charge of the operation but liked to think he was. His beady eyes were glaring at my entire being, each feature he surveyed very carefully…a bead of sweat growing on his brow.

"What exactly am I seeing other than a teenager whose been wrongly imprisoned?" She asked in disbelief

"There are different colors." Nick whispered even though he knew it was gone. "They're usually there! I swear! We have footage."

"Are you all absolutely insane? You expect funding for _this_? You're killing the boy and talking as though he's some sort of mystical killing machine. I'm pulling funding, and I'm expecting a formal resignation from you by tomorrow. As for him – tomorrow I'l have a pick up crew escort him home. He _will_ have an escort so don't even try to fuck with my decision Ryans because you'll regret it."

She looked at me one more time and I saw a flash of motherly impulse before she turned around and left.

"I bet you thought that was really funny?" Nick glared at me. "Well you just wait. One week and your ass will be back here you piece of shit."

There must have been something about the smile on my face that made Nick's face turn a shade paler. The subtle grin that had grown on my lips wasn't because of the thought of escaping. The only thing greeting me once I left the confines of this building was more pain. I watched both the vision – it brought me almost as much joy as the real thing. Oh how sweet it will be…

"What?" he whispered.

"I just watched you die."


	25. Reunited

_Soooo I've finally updated! Sorry its been forever - but there just hasn't been time to write this summer. But now that all of my responsibilities are almost done I can start writing this again! Sorry again I know I've been so slow!_

_So we're finally moving back to the real plot of the story - I think a lot of you will enjoy this chapter. Well, I hope so! :)_

_Enjoy!_

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"Unchain him and lets see him out." An unfamiliar voice commanded.

There was a series of clicks coming from around me. With each new 'click' a weight was being lifted from me. I began to flex my fingers. It had been so long the movement felt incredibly unfamiliar. My arms were next. They flexed of their own accord and I couldn't help but grin, perhaps manically, at my new-found mobility.

"Lets get you some clothes" one of the soldiers whispered and pulled a sheet over me. It was only then that I noticed that I was completely nude standing in front of at least thirty men. I wasn't bothered by this – maybe even a little amused. My power had grown significantly – so much that the illusion of my youth and helplessness was unintentional. It would explain the strange kindness coming from a military-man.

A pair of soldiers went to escort me out, but I remained unmoving.

"Wait" I whispered

"What?"

"I need you to leave me alone with him for a minute." I said with complete confidence. My voice sung with a sound that wasn't at all human. My simple desire was enough to have the human obey the command. At first it looked as though the soldier was preparing to argue, only to have his eyes glaze over calmly seconds later. Looking into my very human eyes briefly, he turned around and yelled "Everyone out!"

In the midst of the ruckus of the private's exiting the small room, I made my way through the crowds to a familiar face.

"Hello Nick." I whispered, staring into his terrified brown eyes.

"Please don't kill me" He plead; fresh tears growing from those human eyes.

"I won't kill you." He smiled at my sincere words.

"You're going to kill yourself." I continued

"Wha….?"

I looked deep into those very human eyes and watched that lingering fear slowly fade away. His mouth drooped just slightly before his posture turned stiff and eyes glazed over.

A small pinch in the back of my neck warned me of the upcoming vision.

Nick.

Dead.

Blood everywhere.

Then a young boy, eight years old.

He was standing over his father's bloody mess of a corpse.

I turned away from Nick without another thought; his body may be warm now, but he was as good as dead.

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**Edward**

_The vibrating of my cell phone buzzed incessantly from inside my pocket. No one had this number aside from my family, and yet I couldn't bring myself to make the smallest movement to pick up the phone. The vibrating stopped only to continue seconds later – I knew it was the same ring as last time yet it felt as though my phone had a new-found vigor. With much hesitation, I lifted up the phone and saw Alice's name on the touch screen._

"_What?" I hissed_

"_Its about Nate." Alice said with great apprehension, as if she was waiting for me to hang up._

_I'd given Alice very clear instructions that she was not to look into Nathan's future anymore. We'd done enough damage already, her meddling would make things even more difficult for him. She had understood my request, so why would she do this? _

"_I told you not---"_

"_He's going to find you._

"_What? How?…" I whispered_

"_I have no idea, but I just saw him with you."_

"_When?" I said urgently_

"_I'm not sure, its jumping all over the place. He doesn't know how he's going to find you yet but everything leads up to it. Within the hour so don't board your flight."_

"_I'll be waiting. Call me when you see something. __**Anything**__." I demanded._

I wondered if Alice had any the level of impact her simple phone call had made. Its been years since I've seen Nathan, but not a day, not even a minute has passed that he hasn't been on my mind. It became too heavy of a burden to carry – I left everyone and everything behind. Alice told me that just like us; Nathan heeded our advice and left Forks within a week. The woman who had been charged with his care maintained the room just as it had been. After a year of misery I succumbed to the temptation and returned to Forks.

When I walked into Nathan's old room – seeing everything unchanged...I was not prepared for the onslaught of emotions that resurfaced.

From then on I ceased all contact with anyone; including my family. I had hopes of distracting myself with silly unnecessary tasks – even considered changing my dietary habits as a poor attempt to eat away the darkness that was growing in me.

But now after all of these years I had to wait only an hour to see Nathan.

….

I felt a sudden burst of relief when I felt my cell phone vibrating through my pocket; making no attempt to move at a human speed I reached for it and answered before the second ring.

"Is everything alright?" I spoke so fast that no human could understand, even Alice had some difficulty deciphering my words.

"I think so…I'm not sure." Alice sounded confused.

"What do you mean? What happened Alice?"

"He's at the airport – I don't know how."

"You said he was an hour away."

"That's why I'm not sure." Alice muttered

"Where is he in the airport?" I asked while simultaneous scanning thoughts of the humans around me for any visions or sights of Nathan.

"South Entrance. He's going to need to see Carlisle as soon as possible."

"What's wrong Alice?" I said with a renewed urgency.

"Its nothing. I've got to go, you have one minute."

Despite the frustration with my sister, I rushed toward the nearest attendant selling tickets. She had all of the quintessential Italian features that gave her the attention of any man she desired. I didn't need to hear her thoughts to notice the confidence radiating from her…and once her deep brown eyes shadowed over me she found a new target. The attendant continued with her prolonged stare before our eyes connected and she looked away; her embarrassment bringing a subtle rouge to her cheeks.

_I wonder if he's single…_

I took advantage of her fantasies and strolled toward her with a smile that looked absolutely sincere. Tilting my head and resting my arms on the counter I leaned in carefully with no fear of looking her straight in the eyes. "I'm sorry this is completely last minute – but I have a family emergency and need two tickets to Juno as soon as possible. Is there any chance of a flight boarding any time soon?" I mused in an intentionally desirable tone.

The woman stared at me blankly for ten seconds before pulling herself back into reality. _Vera do your job_ she reminded herself.

She focused intently on the computer screen in front of her and tapped her recently manicured fingernails on the keyboard. Her recent infatuation with me made her all the more eager to find this flight. So then why was it taking so long?

"You're in luck! I have two seats on a non-stop flight to Juno, it begins boarding in fifteen minutes."

_Only first class available, I wonder if he's rich too? I don't see a ring so he can't be married…maybe the extra seat is for his mother or something._

"However…the only seats we have available are first class cabin, would that be a problem?"

"Not at all" I handed her a credit card and two pairs of passports which she seemed very eager to look over. The attendant opened first opened up my passport and then Nathan's.

_Nathan Lokken…maybe it's a business partner. He can't be…I mean. Look at him!_

Three years ago – the happiest time of my life – Esme had a second passport for Nathan in the case that we needed to disappear. At that time Esme…all of us assumed that Nathan would be joining us should there be a reason we had to leave Forks.

"Enjoy your flight Mr. Cullen." She beamed and handed me two boarding passes, which I promptly shoved into my pocket and briskly walked toward the southern entrance.

The moment I turned the corner toward the southern most terminal was when I saw him. I wasn't surprised that Nathan stood out amidst the crowd of humans – my eyes went to nothing but his figure in front of me. His skin was just as pale and supple as my memory served me. From a distance I noticed a distinct difference from last time…there was a faint glow to his skin that almost sparkled as I looked into deeper detail. Unlike the active luminescent glow that used to develop this appeared to be passive – a part of him just like all of the very un-human traits.

It wasn't his glowing skin ,his fiery eyes, or the perpetually changing hair color that made me focus so intently on him. Nathan was barely clothed in the middle of the airport; the only thing he wore was a pair of boxer shorts. The sight of his unclothed body provoked a renewed lust that was much more potent than our last encounter. Perhaps lack of exposure to this ethereal aura (that now filled the entire terminal) made it more powerful, but just like his skin there was something different…more intense…aggressive even. It wasn't an undertone of sexual desire but an up-front urge that covered me from head to toe.

This beautiful man – he was perfection personified, was half nude in a gargantuan room filled with people and not a single one of these humans even glanced at him.

I never finished my thought.

There were his eyes…the second I saw the true brilliance of his eyes both of us stopped in our tracks. Looking into his Sidhe eyes it was as if I was seeing them for the first time. Those multi-faceted green and gold orbs staring at me made everything else invisible. It was just Nathan and I standing alone in this large atrium. I don't mean this figuratively either…there was literally no other within ear or eyesight; which had to be several miles.

Every inch of me wanted to look around in disbelief but I wasn't sure if I was capable of doing so while looking into Nathan's eyes. How did everyone disappear in an instant? Not that it mattered – I would be content if it was just Nathan and I for the rest of eternity.

"Edward…" Nathan whispered breathlessly

Because we were alone I made no attempt to move at a human speed. Walking at a human pace would have felt like an eternity now that he was standing right in front of me.

In less than a second I was an arm's length away staring into his emotionless face and noted the subtle differences. He hadn't aged a day since that day I broke his heart out in the forest, with the exception of the skin being slightly tighter across his face. Nathan was right here…just thinking the words made me feel weak from the euphoric rush.

But I couldn't smell him. There was mild in the back of my throat from the thirst despite him standing less than a foot away. The air was clean of any human trace…there was nothing…

"Is that you Nathan?"

"I'm sorry…" He whispered – looking away from my eyes in order to hide a certain emotion.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Nathan…don't ever say that." I went in to hold him, I could wait no longer, I needed to touch him and feel the warmth that radiated off of his skin for the first time in three years. In the midst of my action his pearly white hand reached out to stop my movement. Nathan's hand pushed forward faster than I had ever seen from him…nearly as fast as a vampire. The heat that radiated off of his palm – even through my tshirt – was almost too much to handle. I closed my eyes under his touch. It was the first physical reminder that Nathan was here. _He was actually here_. This was no illusion…he found me even after what I'd done to him.

"I understand…" I nodded, fighting to hide the stinging rejection that I felt.

"You can't see…" He sighed and looked down to the floor.

"What do you mean? What don't I see?"

"You don't see anything…I see it all." Nathan whispered

Whatever had happened to Nathan seemed to affect him much deeper than I could have ever imagined. The pain of seeing him so..unstable hurt more than the intial separation. Was this what Alice had mentioned?

I changed the subject – told him the words I was thinking every minute of every day for the passed three years.

"You need to know how much I love you Nathan…I love you so much. I only left because I thought you would be better off without us….Did you actually believe what I said?" I asked – the emotion in my voice surprising even myself

"Are you lying now?" He asked – but a look in his eyes actually made me investigate my own motives – as if he knew something I didn't.

"No…I'm never going to lie to you again."

A glowing intensity erupted through Nathan like a bomb exploded in his skin. There was no precursor to this unnatural tendency that was multiplied ten fold. My first instinct was to hide him from the general public so we could maintain an illusion or normality before remembering that we were all alone in this very…very occupied place. The glow from his skin was so bright that there was a small shadow forming on the tile floor of the Santa Fe airport. Most of his features were drowned out by the growing shine except for his eyes, which intensified with the glow of his skin.

"I came here to die…"

I fought the question of 'why,' and instead said the one truth that came to mind.

"I can't live without you Nathan…You are my life…please come home with me…"

"You destroyed us both." Nathan said quietly, and then glanced at his chest and arms for the briefest moment before looking back toward me and nodded weakly. We walked together toward the gate without me needing to lead the way. He already knew exactly where we were headed, and he hadn't seen our boarding passes yet.

The two of us walked about a foot apart from one another through the desolated airport. An airport was always somewhere humans rushed off without thinking, there was nonstop chatter, and luggage sprawled about in every corner. But now everything was empty, the only sounds we heard other than the roaring planes were the intercoms announcing each flight leaving.

"Nathan…Where is everyone?" I asked carefully.

"They're here. You just don't see."

"I don't smell them" I said tersely.

"People only see what they want to see." He sighed, and wiped a fresh tear from his cheek without another word.

The flight was mostly silent other than me badgering Nathan to eat something. I considered it a lost cause even though he looked seconds from passing out throughout the entire trip. Once we were seated on the plane whatever Nathan had done in the airport faded and I could smell, hear, and see everyone file in one by one. No one paid any attention to us though, they even skipped our seats when serving the meal. Only at my intense insistence did Nathan eat one of those foul meals that they serve there. He engulfed the food within minutes and when I jokingly asked when the last time he ate was his answer was 'I don't know."

Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper all met us at the airport – I wasn't sure how I felt about the welcoming party with Nathan in such a state. I had no idea how would react to all of them. In his current state I had no idea how he would react to _anything_. It was only natural that he felt betrayed by what I've done to him but all I could do was speculate; his thoughts were a mystery to me.

"Please take my sweater." I asked for the third time.

"You don't want your family to see me like this." He said airily.

"How long have you known they would be here?"

"Since we got on the plane"

"I don't want to worry_ our_ family."

He considered it for a second or two but then nodded allowing the first traces of a smile to escape his lips. I handed him a cashmere V-neck sweater and he lifted the sweater over his head and stood in it uncomfortably. Looking at him fidget in the sweater made me smile even despite our current circumstances. But just having him around brought me to a state of peace that couldn't be compared to the false-calm that Jasper would put me under.

I leaned in for a second time and kissed the top of his head briefly and let my hand linger in the depth of his hair. It felt like silk – unlimitedly softer than any human or animal hair I'd felt. Nathan didn't pull away this time but looked at me with a conflicted expression, and then walked at a slow pace toward my family.

_There's Nate! He looks awful…_

_What's wrong with him?_

_That isn't what he looked like in my vision…_

"Hi Nathan!" Alice beamed and went in for hug but Nathan took a step back once he foresaw her next movement. Nathan clenched his fists his frustration and took a deep breath. He fidgeted and looked at me with guilty eyes – he wanted to tell me something but couldn't for a reason unknown to me.

"Just let me hear your thoughts." I whispered into his ear.

"You can't see…"

_What does that mean_? He continued that phrase over and over as if it was the answer to every difficult question I asked. I see. I see _everything,_ I hear everyone's thoughts but his. What could I not see? I tried to understand but it seemed impossible through his psychic shields. He's changed so much except for the occasional glimpse into the Nathan that I knew so well…

"Nate has been through a lot…how about we get him home?" Carlisle suggested.

_Did something happen Edward? In my vision Nate was a bleeding mess but he looks perfectly, well mostly healthy right now. _

"How far are we?" Nathan asked absently/

"About an hour away."

"30 minutes the way you drive" Esme interjected which earned her a very small smile from Nathan.

The group of us walked out the exit where both of the cars were parked with several onlookers gauking at Rosalie's Porsche. Why would Alice drive the most ostentatious vehicle in our garage to such a public venue like the airport? Every one of my family's thoughts were focused on Nathan and what was wrong. We all walked as a single unit, even Nathan walked in tandem with us.

"We took two cars, who are you going to drive with?" Carlisle looked to me.

"Alice and Jasper."

_Do you want me to put him to sleep once we're in the car? His emotions are all over the place I have no idea how he's appearing so calm._

"Yes" I whispered so quiet that Nathan couldn't hear.

"We'll see you at the house" Carlisle said before closing the door to his Mercedes.

We were weaving in and out of traffic at 70 mph within seconds. Alice tried to keep her thoughts focused on the road ahead of her to hide her true feelings from me.

I was looking at Nathan through the corner of my eye once I realized that Jasper was starting to physically relax him. At first there wasn't a recognizable difference but within seconds his blinks were growing longer and more drawn out.

"No! Jasper. Stop." Nathan clearly fought the relaxing sensation of Jasper's power. Even his voice sounded startlingly calm, but Nathan's true panic showed through his eyes. His shoulders began to slink and he took slow drawn out breaths that occur just before one falls into a deep slumber. Jasper ignored his pleas and focused even more intently on easing Nathan's worries.

Nathan fought with his seatbelt and went to grow grab Jaspers shoulder in desperation. "Jasper! Please don't do this."

"Just relax Nate…its not a big deal." Jasper said casually.

Nathan turned to me with fresh tears ready to escape from his eyes and took my hands in his. This was the first time we had direct flesh to flesh contact – the heat of him swallowed the rest of my body and lit me from my very core. The emotion of it all was overwhelming;especially for such a trite gesture…and yet he held my hands so passionately with this small request. "Edward don't let him do this. _Please_. He doesn't see, none of you see it!" He screamed this time – holding my hands so tightly I was beginning to feel the first traces of pain.

"What don't we see? I need to understand if I'm going to help you." I grabbed his hands with just enough force so I wouldn't hurt him…but he needed to be reminded that I was here for him. That I would be here for him the rest of eternity.

Nathan shook his head and let little crystal droplets fall freely. His expression shifted from the weight of the turmoil he was facing. "It doesn't stop bleeding. Days and days and it doesn't stop." He choked a sob and let go of my hands to rub himself fiercely; as if washing away dirt. Nathan looked down and let go of himself only to refresh his sobs "I can't let you see" and began to cry hysterically in an array of wordless sounds

"What's going on? Nate talk to us" Alice demanded from behind the wheel."

"His emotions are all over the place, I'm trying to calm him down." Jasper whispered to us both.

"How close are we Alice?" I didn't dare take my eyes off of Nathan while he sat there sobbing. There are many stories of humans seeing Fae only to look away for a brief second and they were gone. They may be only stories – but I wasn't willing to risk it anymore.

"I hide because it isn't safe." He whispered. His breathing and pulse were beginning to relax of their own accord – his episode was almost over. I thought Nathan always felt safe with my family and I? We never had anything but his best interest at heart…what would make Nathan think that he wasn't safe in our hands? In this car – there was no safer place in the world for him.

"Safe? Whose in danger" I asked in a short tone.

"You're all in danger." He sighed.

"From what?"

Nathan looked at me wearily as if he was considering what the best answer to give would be. He shifted uncomfortably and stared into my eyes with a conflicted expression. "I want to tell you the truth."

"You can always tell me the truth." I pleaded.

"Alice saw it" he admitted.

It was clearest before I coaxed Nathan into wearing a sweater…looking at his pale body there was an array of red that glittered down his body from neck to toe. Each individual mark was precise and exactly the same shape, although they seemed to vary in depth; the ones on his arms and legs leaving an extensive series gashes. From most of these incisions there was a ruby trail spiraling down his body – the bleeding was so intense that a human would have been leaked dry within hours but Nathan walked around as if he couldn't feel it.

Or he was ignoring the wounds.

It couldn't be possible for so many reasons. Nathan should be dead from blood loss by now – and more importantly…how was he in a car filled with vampires and _none_ of us could smell or see the Sidhe's blood?

_An illusion. But he wasn't able to do something of this strength before._

I couldn't even formulate the question. In fact it was utterly comic for a vampire, who lives in fear of smelling the aroma of human blood, to have to _ask_ if someone was bleeding. I swallowed the humor because now was certainly not the time for it – especially if we had come to the right conclusion. In such a confined space it would be certain death for Nathan if we were attacked by the smell. I would resist and maybe Alice; but there would be no hope for Jasper…especially with the exuberant nature of Nathan's blood.

"You're bleeding?

He nodded weakly "I wanted to tell you from the beginning…but I don't want your burning to start…and then we would meet up with the rest of your family. Couldn't put them in that position. Never." Nathan began to mumble to himself toward the end of his sentence.

All of this effort and strange behavior just to salvage the burning in my throat? That was part of my existence; something that was accepted decades ago. There were much more serious things to consider. How could he be bleeding for such a prolonged period? Even a human's wounds would have scabbed up and began to heal after this much time; with an exception of a few the wounds weren't very deep.

"That's why you can't touch me. When you touch I can't focus."

I felt a rush at his words – an epic sense of relief throwing years of tension out of my body. Now I knew why Nathan had been so distant – all of his small rejections since we'd bee reunited was because of his concern for _me_ of all people. Of course he was wrong, after being apart from him for so long there was nothing that could make me even consider harming him; even these animalistic instincts engrained in me held no merit against my love for him.

Through all of this Jasper's thoughts had taken a very dark turn – he didn't trust himself if the situation came where he would smell Nathan's blood in its purest form. But he was nervous; and rightfully so. Jasper's control over our lifestyle barely allowed him to manage through a typical day surrounded by humans.

Nathan nodded then turned to Jasper "When we get close all of you should leave. Blood leaves a trail."

* * *

_I know Nathan might be a little nutty right now, but he's gone through a lot! So just give him some time to get back on track!_

_Hope you enjoyed the chapter :D_


	26. Examination

_Sorry that once again the updates are growing few and far between! I'm trying to write and proofread whenever I have the opportunity. Luckily, the end is within sight. At least for this fanfic; but there will definitely be a sequel. I suppose I just see this fic as one section of the story - So be prepared for more! I'm hoping to have it finished by December; when I originally started the last year._

_But yea - Here we have a little more clarity being shown on the situation, and a little more unstable Nathan :) Please RxR!_

_  
Enjoy!_

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* * *

**Edward**_

"I'm sorry Jasper." Nathan mumbled.

Jasper, who was eagerly waiting to get out of the car, brought his current train of thought to a halt so he could focus on Nathan. I never took my eyes off of Nathan throughout the entire duration of the ride, but now, Jasper too was looking over at Nathan curiously. The first time he saw Nathan after the three year lapse Jasper wasn't nearly as curious. But his thoughts echoed both Alice and mine. How can he be sitting here in a pool of his own blood and none of the vampires in the car could notice?

Thinking of that fact both terrified and excited Jasper. Just the mention of blood brought an understated pleasure to him – it was subtle enough that no one except for maybe Alice and I knew…but his eagerness made me even more nervous. If Nathan's concentration were to slip for even a fraction of a second it would send Jasper into an animalistic frenzy.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked – continuing to very subtly dim the intensity of Nathan's emotions. Nathan wasn't put to sleep like earlier but instead ignored the rest of us in the car and focused on his surroundings.

"The pain followed me here." Nathan muttered while looking out the window.

_What is he talking about?_ Jasper thought while looking at me. If Nathan noticed our nonverbal communication he made no effort to show it.

I shook my head and Jasper sighed "Everything is fine Nate, don't worry. Alice and I are going to go hunting for a while, well be back by tomorrow."

"See you when I wake up."

"What do you mean Nate?" Alice asked

"Jasper is there when I wake up."

Nathan must have noticed the slight grimace that shaped my lips because he added on moments later "Never mind. Edward will be there."

"You two should go, we're only a couple of minutes away." I suggested.

Both Jasper and Alice left, maybe a little hastily, with only the barest of goodbyes. Both of them were shaken by Nathan's bizarre behavior… they weren't the only ones.

While the car was stopped Nathan moved into the front seat with me driving – he seemed to be slightly more engaged than before when he was staring dreamily toward the landscape; but he made no movement to initiate conversation. I caught him glancing at me occasionally before he faced forward with an unreadable expression.

"What happened?" I asked with utmost control; focused on avoiding the heart-splitting anger that was radiating through my being. Once everything was settled and Nathan was back in a stable condition I would be sure that each and every one of them died. There was a pleasure rushing through me that almost rivaled what I felt when reunited with Nathan at the airport.

He didn't look at me while asking "Why are you asking now?"

"I wanted to give you time to digest everything at first, and then you probably wouldn't want to say it in front of Jasper and Alice. You may not even want to tell me, which you have every right to…after what I've done." I rattled on.

"I don't want to talk about it now, there's something more important." This time Nathan turned to look at me. I stopped the car once we reached the house and turned toward his piercing stare. There was something very unfamiliar about the way he looked at me…before there was a hint of innocence sparkling through his multicolored eyes - that wasn't there anymore.

"What is it?" I asked, surprised at the tenderness in my voice. Even with that small sentence it was so difficult to utter a single syllable over a twisting pain in my heart.

"Why did you leave?" Nathan asked me with glistening green eyes. His eyes held an emotion that he carefully kept out of his voice.

"I wanted to protect you. I was a fool to think that if I left you would be able to live with the humans. Every day you spent with us you were risking your life…"

"Do you still think that?" Nathan cut me off mid sentence.

Yes…he was risking his life around us. Nothing has changed since the moment I left him. Except by leaving him, I managed to inflict a level of harm that I hadn't thought possible. Before I would have just lied to him; to ease his worries. Now the thought of lying to Nathan seemed utterly repulsive – I took a quiet vow to myself that from this point onward everything that I said to Nathan would be truth.

"Yes."

Nathan pursed his lips; irritated with my response. He shifted his shoulder uncomfortably and allowed his eyes dart toward his arm briefly before looking back to me – his rage showing through the two eyes glaring at me.

"You don't know anything." He scowled and went to open the car door. I moved without thinking and reached over to grab his arm. Even after whatever he'd been through, to jump out of a moving car? But I was the one who was wrong. Not only had the car come to a complete stop without me realizing it, but we were parked in front of my house with Jasper and Alice gone. The realization must have left me in a daze – once I was reunited with reality he was gone. Nathan was gone.

* * *

**Nathan**

"Where's Edward, Nate?" Carlisle asked in a concerned voice. "Its not like him to leave you alone."

"Wouldn't be the first time." I thought out loud. The atmosphere in the Cullen's infirmary went from confusing, maybe even a bit awkward, to unbelievably tense. Carlisle didn't deserve to hear this – it wasn't his decision to leave. He'd tried to convince Edward that they should stay in Forks with me…I'd seen that much in my visions. I gave Carlisle the apologetic look he deserved, I wanted to speak, to repair the damage I'd just caused, but something wouldn't let me.

Ever since I was released from that facility nothing seemed to be in my control. Even simple tasks were a battle, it was as if someone else was controlling me. My thought process…jumbled.

I watched Edward from an omniscient perspective, sitting contently in the car talking to someone who wasn't there.

Carlisle let the comment go unnoticed and continued with feigned ignorance "Where is Edward?"

"He'll be here soon. He's still in the car." Truth. Edward would have complicated this. He needed more time to understand that he was not the predator anymore…

I am.

Not that I have any recent predatorial tendencies, but now I understood why my aunt had little trouble dealing with vampires. A similar thirst for revenge didn't run through my veins, a fact I'm very grateful for.. There was no difference between Vampires and Humans – my Sidhe abilities seemed to affect them both equally.

There was another illusion taking place that was much more potent. I'd used the shine to such an extreme that the typically simple task had left me drain. Or maybe it was the gallons of blood that I'd lost? I was prepared to drop the illusion so Carlisle could treat me. Maybe even a small part wanted _someone_ to be here with me. I wanted that one person to be Edward, and yet at the same time it seemed intolerable to have him near me. My kind does not forgive easily, and his incredibly flawed logic…

I stopped my train of thought at the boiling feeling in my stomach; the accumulation of rage.

"Why do you do it?" I asked without thinking, not even certain if these were my thoughts.

"Do what?" Carlisle asked – smiling kindly at me.

He was happy that I was back, and not just because Edward seemed like himself again. Just me. I could feel an inkling of happiness twist in my stomach, the foreign sensation played around for a few moments before gradually fading.

'Like himself.' What did that even mean? These thoughts…they just come into my head – I can't perceive the difference between my imagination and didn't seem to matter anymore, whatever I thought seemed to come true…

"Why do you sacrifice so much for Humans?"

"A simple question…but a very complicated answer. Why don't you let me see what's really happened so I can tell you while I set up?" Carlisle asked convincingly.

Forgot. I looked down at my sweater that was now crusty with blood and had successfully turned the rust color that happens when blood dries. When I concentrated on the pain I could feel the minor incisions tactfully placed throughout my abdomen, but then looked back at Carlisle. A puddle of fluid was now flowing where I'd been sitting – even with his seemingly infinite self control, could Carlisle truly ignore the scent of my blood?

"Are you sure it will be alright?" While asking Carlisle I tried to think of the possible outcomes in hopes for some sort of vision that would shed my doubts. The only thing my mind's eye could think of was Edward. The illusion was going to fade soon. Edward sitting next to me.

Now that it was real…it was all too real. Seeing him next to me hurt just as much as the absence of him for the last three years. He will just leave again, I yelled at myself for thinking it…but the thought continued on a loop in my head tearing me from the inside out.

The pain must have shown because Carlisle looked suddenly concerned.

"I assure you everything will be fine, hurry and let me see. I promise I won't hurt you." He smiled reassuringly.

The illusion fell off my skin and it felt like taking a deep breath for the first time. The sensation of it leaving my being tickled a little bit, or maybe that the pain from my wounds. Carlisle hid the alarm from his expression when I let him see clearly for the first time.

"Take off your shirt please – So I can see the wounds clearly." Carlisle's voice was no longer comforting but all business.

With just a nod I pulled the sweater from above my head, tugging and pulling at it awkwardly. All of the blood made it cling to my skin, three years ago when I still plagued by human emotion, the difficulty with a inane task would have embarrassed me. Now it was so incredibly insignificant that no emotion or thought came to mind.

Two cold hands grabbed the edge of the sweater and grazed my skin forcing me to jump and almost fall to the floor from the memories that a simple touch can provoke. Lots of touches. They never ended well. Once the sweater was successfully removed I could heard the blood swashing and pouring onto the white tile floor, my immediate reaction was to look down and see but there was something much more magnificent standing directly in front of me.

Edward's brilliant yellow eyes stared at me so closely I could feel his cool breath rub against my face. The sweet vanilla scent made parts of me squirm and ache to touch him.

And then reality hit me.

Edward was standing in a pool of my blood, and I couldn't concentrate enough to mask anything. I was overwhelmed by the close proximity, of everything I'd experienced in the last 36 hours. My eyelids felt heavy out with fatigue – the only thing desire right now that could compete with Edward at this very moment was sleep…Something I hadn't had a taste of in years.

Unlike Carlisle Edward's pain was so clear in his eyes that I knew so well. It killed me to say this but I forced myself "You need to leave, there is too much blood." I warned.

"I'm fine..." He whispered into my ear.

Without realizing it – I was lying down on the medical table with Carlisle addressing all of the wounds silently. Both Edward and him exchanged the occasional eye-contact, but I didn't need the physical clues to know the nonverbal conversation the two were having. They wanted to know what happened to me…

The problem was…I'm not complete sure of that myself.

"How long have these incisions been bleeding Nate?" Carlisle asked – sewing a particularly large gash on my right arm.

"Since I left." I whispered.

"Left where?" This time Edward asked – with a deadly conviction in his voice.

"I'm not sure."

Edward's hands covered mine, rubbing ever so slightly while he basked in the warmth. I knew my warmth layered itself and danced around his body – just as the coolness of his seemed to envelope me like a glove. I lay there contently, never daring to look away from him. The fatigue was growing overwhelming. Carlisle had put an IV in with something I assumed to be a sedative.

Edward was just as perfect as the day I'd left him; not a thing about him had changed. I hadn't aged in these three years either…But so much has changed within me since we were last acquainted.

Next time, how significant would the difference be?

I clenched his hand tight enough that he winced at the strength which brought him wide eyed with surprise for the smallest of moments before he fixed his expression and asked "What are you thinking?"

A voice whispered to me as if sitting right there. The sound of it was not the Goddess – but it wasn't male or female, nor was it me. I'd stopped thinking about the specifics…now all I did was listen to what these _things_ had to say to me. 'He will leave. – there will be no other choice while you are different.'

Both Edward and Carlisle turned perfectly still once my thought echoed in my mind – neither of them moved or even dared to breathe.

I didn't bother to ask the two Vampires – sadly – I didn't really care. Edward was here for now…which was all anyone could ask for. It was happiness, temporary, but happiness all the same.

Edward looked at me with a new intensity; his eyebrows furrowed and mouth turned into a pained frown. "I promised you Nathan, I will never…_ever_ leave you again."

Carlisle continued to examine me for what felt like hours. Time was stagnant. Little pricks here and there, but Edward was here.

"Most of these should have scabbed up within hours for humans – why are they still bleeding Carlisle?" Edward asked

Carlisle eyes darted back and forth toward a freshly printed piece of paper. Edward's body was tense, he wanted to look at the data for himself even though I knew he was watching it all through Carlisle's thoughts. The two of them looked at each other; making an effort to hide their expression but ultimately failing.

"Why would they do that?" Carlisle muttered.

Their conversation was becoming increasingly difficult to follow; with each blink my eyes began to close longer

"What are you talking about?" I grumbled.

Edward's hand carefully grazed my cheek and I instinctively smiled at the familiar gesture. "Its nothing, go to sleep my love."

I forced myself to sit up even against both Carlisle and Edward's immediate demands for me to remain seated. I glared at both of them, suddenly fighting off a new wave of frustration. Secrets just as usual. Nothing had changed had it? Would Edward leave me again just like last time?

"Tell me" I demanded stubbornly – fighting the sleep that was growing stronger with each passing minute.

"It's nothing." Edward said gingerly, stroking the side of my face with his cold hand.

Once upon a time that touch would have made me agree to anything – but things were different now. There weren't many things I wanted other than Edward; but answers…well that was one of them.

Pulling myself up, this time taking great efforts to make it seem like a smooth movement, I glared at the two vampires looking toward me with concerned yellow eyes. "If you don't tell me – I'm leaving." I threatened.

Edward's expression turned to a dark place briefly before him and Carlisle made brief but meaningful eye contact. I knew them both well enough, and it was Edward who was withholding the information from me. It was growing increasingly difficult to keep the rage that was building inside – it wanted out. It wanted to blame Edward for everything that has happened these past three years. Not only breaking my heart – _you broke me_. I thought to myself, it was such a charged statement, filled with so much emotion…I didn't think to shield the comment.

Edward's expression went from dark to almost manic. I watched a vampire feel pain for the first time. The pain that was inflicted by my words would be deeper than any physical wound could manage on a vampire. Inklings of guilt tickled my stomach but I remained silent, my words were truthful.

"You have every reason to think that" Edward said quietly, albeit neutrally. His brief display of emotion had ceased and was now a neutral and statuesque as he spoke. "You've been given levels of a blood thinner so large it would be fatal to humans. As it stands…" Edward paused – looking over me once more, but this time analytically rather than the fondness I'd seen previously.

"Now will you please go to bed?" Edward pleaded – a small fire in his eyes appeared as if melting the ice he'd developed in my absence.

Looking into those eyes a surge of emotion hit me, so strong our reunion paled in comparison. Edward knew everything, and with my body now clean and free of any blood…there was no force that could stop me from touching him. It didn't need to be sexual; just needed to be Edward.

_Afraid._

Edward took his hand in mine and sat at the edge of the medical table so the denim of his jeans rubbed against my bare flesh.

"You're safe here."

Rushes of thoughts, emotions, and memories ran through me making it difficult to focus on Edward. A pain that Edward had distinguished returned, but there was an unfamiliarity to it that had previously gone unnoticed. The images – some of them I couldn't recognize?

Were they mine?

_They have to be_, I reminded myself. However, despite my reminders I was unable to purge the fear that was paralyzing me.

"Nothing good comes from the dark." The words shot from my mouth without thinking, just as they had been since I was reunited with the Cullens. It was unclear whether some outside for was forcing the words from my mouth…or if my memory was playing tricks on me.

One moment emotions flew. And then there was nothing.

"I won't leave your side until you wake up" Edward said with great intensity. His golden eyes stared into mine with an emotion I'd never seen from him. Before all of this had happened, before when I still carried the weaknesses of humanity…I would have believed him.

I believed him now – but it was not the intense passion in his eyes that swayed me. I _knew_ he spoke the truth.

Nodding weakly, it wasn't but a few seconds before I succumbed to the sedatives.


	27. Dreams

_Sorry - Another long update! Bright news though, I'm working on NaNoWriMo this year - so my hopes is to both finish up this Fic and begin with the sequel. The goal is to have this fic finished by December - We'll see how it goes!_

_This chapter is a bit short, but I'm pretty attached to it. Seeing some things associated with the Sidhe that haven't really shown up yet. Enjoy!_

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* * *

  
_

**Edward**

Nathan had been sleeping for twenty-four hours before Carlisle finished all of the tests and procedures required. He had taken the opportunity of Nathan's comatose state and sought to find answers not only about Nathans condition, but whatever changes he had gone through. Carlisle had to individually stitch up dozens of incisions that were covering Nathan's body. He was seconds away from admitting defeat before the coagulants made the bleeding subside. With Nathan's blood leaving an exuberant trail – all of the vampires in the room were breathing as sparsely as they could.

Only after Nathan fell asleep did I really understand how much he had been hiding from me. What was before a meek itch in the back of my throat immediately burst into flames with a voracity that I had never before experienced. Thousands of times I had fantasized over the taste of his blood; and now that I was facing it first hand, the scent was more powerful than I ever imagined. However, nothing, even the most inviting aroma, couldn't make me inflict more pain on him than I already had.

Because I refused to leave Nathan's side despite everyone's pressures – every one of us was packed into the infirmary; the Denali clan included.

Everyone stood in silence with their backs planted firmly against the wall. They were all concerned about potentially triggering my wrath, subtle or not they had chosen to stand a fair distance away from me. The only one who felt little concern of my anger was Esme, who stood next to me and looked toward Nathan with worried eyes.

_Oh Nate…what have we done_? Esme thought, her hand stroking his hair. The difference of color between now and when she had first met Nathan didn't escape her attention, but she deliberately chose to focus on other things.

"How is he?" Esme asked with the same motherly concern that she showed for me and my siblings.

"He's been sleeping for twenty-five hours now." I noted – both of my hands enveloped in one of his.

"Comatose?" Jasper asked carefully.

Feeling the first workings of rage begin to surface, Jasper's ability washed over me and began to ease it just as soon as it arrived. That didn't stop him from apologizing though, _Sorry. Shouldn't have asked_.

"No, He's stable." Carlisle answered as if it was his cue.

Due to the indescribable sensitivity of the situation, everyone had been sworn to secrecy regarding what had happened between us. The last thing I needed was their speculations pestering me through all of this.

"What is he…?" Eleazar asked in a very safe voice. His thoughts were lingering on Nathan's skin, which used to only glow when he was elated. While the shining luminescence of his skin wasn't as intense now….it was subtly glowing, I'm uncertain if human eyes could discern the difference, but to our kind Nathan could never hide amongst the humans without his illusions. And unlike when he had met the rest of my family with illusions firmly in place – the Denali clan was staring at a creature they had never seen before in their extended time on earth.

They were right to be fearful of Nathan.

He was more powerful than any of us had imagined…

_Edward…Should I explain?_ Carlisle asked mentally.

I nodded – unable to take my eyes off of Nathan.

"Nathan isn't human nor vampire. In fact – he is from a different world all together, one that none of us know or understand."

Rather than interrupt Carlisle, the group of them listened with infinite patience at his rhetoric.

"Some changes have taken place since we last saw him three years ago, so much so that…we cannot explain much... Before, Nathan contained irregularities in just about every aspect of anatomy at the cellular level. The changes, albeit small, were different compared to our kind where there may not be as many differences – but they are certainly more substantial.

After doing some blood work, the number of irregularities are about the same – but all have grown to be even more significant. I don't know what this means, except that he is even less human than we are."

Eleazar's thoughts were running through the possibilities; he was encountering a species for the first time, and it was becoming clear his powers weren't sure how to react it. He didn't perceive Nathan the same as the others. While physically everyone noticed he was different from anything they had ever seen…Eleazar's ability to recognize vampire abilities poked at him annoyingly in Nathan's presence. He was trying to make sense of it all when he asked,

"But _what_ is he?"

Carlisle heaved a sigh, "He's a part of the Aois Sidhe."

"So, he's a faerie?" Kate asked with obvious cynicism.

"You could say that." Carlisle replied.

They continued to discuss Nathan's origins while I fought to ignore their conversation. It wasn't a difficult task with Nathan just inches away from me. My hand stroked the skin of his porcelain cheek. Even in his slumber I noticed the way his body reacted to my touch.

Carlisle had been right. I wasn't sure how human Nathan was – but there had been some significant changes that none of us could understand.

Nathan's psyche began to twirl and change as a new dream began to manifest itself.

_Nathan was standing in the center of a lively meadow. So filled with life it seemed like something out of a prolific painting than reality. He wore nothing and yet it seemed as if it was only natural._

_He wasn't alone._

_A figure clothed from head to toe in a cloak that appeared to be made out of actual shadows than any tangible fabric, stood in front of him. No flesh was visible other than a wrinkled hand that clutched a wooden walking stick older than any tree. While I had no idea who the person was, Nathan knew immediately._

_It was the Goddess._

"Edward? What is it?" Jasper asked alarmingly, he could feel the intense emotions running through me because of the sight of a divine figure.

"Nathan is dreaming." I whispered.

"_Hello Nate." Said the voice, which was clearly female, however the age was indiscernible – there were aspects that were both old and young. Meanwhile Nathan didn't give any of these a moments a second's thought and merely smiled toward the hooded figure; his mind and body filled with a clarity that had not been there in the airport._

"_You wonder why I allowed you to be put through such a struggle."_

_Nathan began to deny her accusation but she quickly, albeit gently, interrupted him. "There is no reason to deny this – especially to yourself."_

"_I don't care about what happened…I just want it all to be over." Nathan admitted – and he meant every word of it. _

"_Why is it you want to die?"_

"_I can't live forever with this pain. I can't live with Edward… knowing the pain I cause in his presence, and he refuses to change me."_

_The hooded figure nodded sympathetically, "Your fate is different from those of your kind."_

"_What is that supposed to mean?" Nathan asked; a slight impatience showing in his tone_

"_You are more powerful than most Nathan. There are things you can do that your Mother, cousins, aunt, and even grandfather cannot."_

"_I…I don't understand." Nathan's brow furrowed in confusion_.

"_You already grew into your power Nate – now you are truly Sidhe. But you are not immortal."_

All I could do was watch as thousands of thoughts ran through Nathan's head in a desperate attempt to make logic out of what the goddess was saying. This couldn't be true – There was no way a human, or any mortal could have survived the prolonged torture he had endured. This was just a dream. As expected; there was no goddess, this was simply a mental image he had created.

"_That's impossible." Nathan tried to reason, but the emotion covered his voice._

"_Everything has happened for a reason Nate. I have made some mistakes, but from the beginning everything has been decided. You have always had choices in the matter…but you have always chosen the path toward Edward."_

"_So I'm mortal because of Edward?"_

"_No no…Edward will be the reason you become immortal. He can offer you something no one else can…"_

"_But he won't—"_

_The woman began to draw back her hood in a motion that was graceful beyond imagination, there was only a glimpse of an eye. In that singular eye the eye of not just a Sidhe, but of a human. Somehow it was my mother's eyes; a brilliant chocolate brown. It was Esme's vampire eyes, it was every woman I've ever met. It was their eyes._

And then it was dark. Just as quickly as the dream had manifested itself, everything was gone. I quickly went to check his vitals to check if he was awake but everything seemed to point that he was still asleep.

"Relax. Everything is fine Edward." Alice reminded me knowingly.

Everything wasn't fine. For the first time since I first saw Nathan's inhuman eyes, everything felt as though it was a mystery. My entire belief in another power – in heaven and hell – was abolished in seconds. If what I had seen was true…what I had just experienced vicariously…was being in contact with the divine?

And worst of all – this figure implied that it was my responsibility to turn Nathan into an immortal. Just the thought of it made my skin crawl and my inners ache with a repulsion to the idea of ending Nathan's life. Not only his life…but his soul.

But would that really be the case?

"What was it Ed?" Again from Jasper – his hand was placed carefully on my shoulder while he fought to keep me calm. The struggle thrashing within me brought him on edge. The rest of the room sat there wordlessly, anxiously awaiting an answer to some _something_. I couldn't muster an appropriate response to what I had just experienced. Even if I could articulate the experience – surely everyone Nathan wasn't the only one who was mad.


	28. Recovery

_The first update in years! This story was never abandoned - I kind of just forgot to upload it...It's actually finished, and there is a sequel. You can expect several more chapters left before it's finally over. I promise you it will be updated though, and then I'll mix uploading new chapters from the sequel and refining the original story._

_Thanks to those of you that stuck around waiting for the new chapters :)_

* * *

**Nathan**

The whiteness of the infirmary – it was too familiar – was it all a dream?

Is everything a dream?

The itch of sweat began to coat my skin while I fought to process my surroundings. I remembered my time captive, but I also remembered being with the Cullens. Where was I? Dream and reality were seemed intertwined before I could feel a presence in the house. Glancing beyond the stark white medical facilities there was a familiar presence, not seeing, but _feeling_ – I knew Alice and Jasper were here. Edward's presence was…noticeably absent.

Edward had sworn that he would never leave my side again.

Broken promises.

I was able to think clearer than before, the blood was gone, the scars…disappeared. My skin was not my own, it was as if I was walking in another body. Everything felt foreign, as if I'd never experienced it before.

How long was I asleep?

My bare feet trailed against the meticulously cared-for white carpeting of the living room. There were only a couple paintings of their ever-growing art collection that I could recognize while making my way through the unfamiliar house. My eyes carried over through the Alaskan landscape and took in the beauty. I could feel the difference in my body when confronted with the earth in such a close vicinity – with each breath I took it seemed as though the trees took it with me, swaying away in a whimsical dance whilst I remained motionless.

"_Goddess_" I whispered.

My hand rested against the glass longingly before something made me turn around.

Even before my eyes made eye contact there was a part of me that knew it was Jasper.

My Sidhe eyes looked into his topaz. There was a tug of my emotions while experiencing that connection for the first time in years, but I was well rested for the first time in several years. I had control over my emotions now. His eyes remained mostly neutral and coolly analyzing. He was assessing whether or not I was a threat and/or stable.

"Hi Jasper." I said neutrally – trying my best to clear my voice of any magic that may have attached to it.

"How are you feeling?" Jasper looked a little pained.

My scent.

It was simple as willing my scent gone and I immediately noticed Jasper's expression became calmer.

I had been wrong...while looking into his eyes, Jasper was assessing his own control. There was a fear in him, he didn't know if he could control himself around me. The moment of silence and neither of us made a comment about the illusions that I was manifesting.

"Better" I fought to keep my voice neutral – but there was a tension that I couldn't bring myself to ignore.

Jasper merely nodded and ushered me to a dark brown leather couch in the corner of the room. "You should take a seat, you've been out for a long time. About a week."

I nodded and took the seat, not feeling the least bit tired but listened anyway. Edward wasn't in the house – he would have been here the second he realized I was awake. There were issues between the two of us. Epic issues. I still loved him and knew that he loved me just as deeply even though his actions seemed to say otherwise.

My eyes drifted of to the distance while sight of other things began to rush through me.

_Edward had just fed – the blood of an elk drizzling down his jaw before running back toward us._

_Alice was in her room – Maybe thirty feet away. She was listening to our conversation but didn't seem to have any intention of joining in._

Jasper continued to speak, assuming I was clueless to my surroundings. "He hadn't left you all week but it started to become too much. He's on his way back now, he stayed close by because Alice couldn't predict when you would wake up."

"He's on his way back" I smiled.

"Why didn't Alice come down too?" I asked – fighting to keep my voice neutral.

"She wasn't sure what to expect." Jasper answered honestly

"Me neither."

It wasn't more than a few seconds before Edward was there. It was as if he appeared out of thin air; at the same moment Jasper was nowhere to be seen.

Edward stood there in the middle of the room wearing nothing but a pair of black skinny jeans and a white v-neck tshirt that conformed to his adonis-like physique. There were little red dots of blood that had splattered across the white t-shirt, an indication of just how quickly Edward had rushed here. His eyes were practically glowing like mine – he had been feeding just several minutes before.

Looking down at his blood-spattered shirt he flashed me an insecure look of worry. "Sorry…I'll go change."

I stood in protest "No…"

Looking at Edward standing there, so close, was too much for me to handle. The emotion was different compared to our last encounter in the airport. Now I was more clear and aware of myself – aware of my desires. Every memory, every thought and time I wished for Edward to be right next to me rushed through me. It was such a strong and singular emotion I felt as if I was being physically choked.

I fought the back the stinging sensation of tears.

Edward must have recognized my longing, and I could see his visceral reaction to my growing tears. He came toward me monstrously fast, and within less than a second I was in his arms. The cool hardness of him engulfed me and I wrapped my hand around his chest tightly as I could. That familiar touch brought my entire body and mind to a sense of ease.

"I thought I would never see you again." I admitted while my face rested in the cool flesh of his clavicle. It was almost too difficult to finish the sentence, and could feel myself choking on my words.

Edward held me tighter after I grasped at him he whispered into my ear in a cool voice that still made me shutter "I thought I lost you…"

We stood there in silence – too overcome by emotion to utter even the simplest of words. I could feel my body physically responding to the intense feelings and close proximity to Edward. I remembered this feeling.

A heat began to trail over my skin like a warm liquid. It moved as if there was a life to it, spiraling down my body to my legs, it wasn't long before my body wasn't just warm; it was hot. In eachothers arms the heat began to cover us both as if we were a single being. Despite my eyes being closed that heat – my power – reached out like a sixth sense. I was aware of everything around me in over a mile radius, but most of all, I could feel Edward in a way I never had before. He may have been a Vampire…but there was just as much life to him as any other of the goddess' creatures.

It wasn't a physical touch – in fact it was a sensation I had never experienced before. This sixth sense grew and multiplied at a steadfast pace. Within seconds Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, and even some of the Denali clan were within my reach. Once my these metaphysical hands connected with one of the Vampires I could feel a similar sense of shock and confusion; why I had no idea. A sudden tension tremored through Edward forcing me to open my eyes.

All I could see what light.

Light at the yellowness of Edward's eyes.

"What's happening…." Edward asked in a confused but unconcerned voice.

"I want to be alone with you."

"I want nothing more…" Edward said – leaning in to kiss me for the first time since we were initially separated. Both of us pushed everything into the single kiss, the familiar sensation of his velvety, cold lips brushed against mine in a dance that made my groin and stomach twist simultaneously. And in that very moment there was only Edward and I; it could have been anywhere. Any place in the entire world could have been conjured up in my head, but it seemed natural that it was Forks.

Not just Forks.

The meadow. Where we first met.

_The meadow where everything began._

There was a second when I couldn't figure out whether my eyes were open or not. All that I could see was an empty space – a pure whiteness that couldn't compare to anything I'd ever seen. Had it not been for Edward's body anchoring me it would have seemed like a celestial experience.

It was Edward who broke off the kiss. Although our bodies were still intertwined he had reverted to the unnatural stillness that immediately warned me that _something_ was wrong. I opened my eyes and smiled at Edward despite his confused expression. He took his eyes off of my only to scan the meadow carefully, returning to look at me. I still hadn't opened my own eyes but knew exactly where we stood.

"Is this…-" Edward began to ask.

"Yes."

I let go of Edward and could immediately see the look of concern in his eyes. He was trying to formulate…to reason how we could be here.

That was the problem. Normal logic just doesn't work with the Sidhe. We have our own rules.

_Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were all panicked, gathered in the middle of the living-room. Alice dialing._

"Alice is calling you." I said – Edward's cellphone buzzing angrily moments after.

Edward nodded and shot me an encouraging smile even though I knew it was a lie. Inside Edward was going mad with confusion, he was obsessively looking for answers to the situation, and even when the phone inevitably rang and he spoke with Alice, I knew he confused.

He wasn't speaking in a hushed voice like before – in fact Edward was making no attempts to feign the truth. Different. Maybe we would have a happy ending.

Edward turned to me and asked "Will we need a flight back?"

"No"

Edward merely smirked at my reply and listened to Alice for another second before hanging up.

"When you said alone, I didn't know you had meant _isolated_." Edward smiled, taking both of my hands into his and stared into my eyes.

I didn't say anything – there really was no reason to.

"How did you get us here?" Edward asked carefully.

I shrugged "It just kind of happened"

"Were you always able do to that?"

"Don't think so – a lot has changed Edward."

While we sat I felt strangely at ease for the first time in years. There were very few places on this earth that I would be more in-my-element; surrounded by nature in its purest form. When Edward and I first came here I was so blissfully unaware of what it was to be Sidhe. The connection that I felt with the earth before coming into my power seems nonexistent compared to my current circumstances.

Even just sitting in the field I was aware of every blade of grass within the meadow. Every bug, leaf, and animal within a mile's radius. We were one of the same, nature and I; it was only natural that we were connected. And as for this meadow…it was something stronger than fate that lead us here. Lead us here to a Faerie circle, without a doubt the only one in hundreds of miles.

"Did you know what this place was when you took me here?" I asked playfully; our hands entwined.

"What do you mean?"

Looking around, allowing my memory to flow freely, I smiled and looked Edward straight in the eyes. The color and eagerness of them made my heart skip a beat.

"This is a faerie circle." I said, gesturing toward our current location.

"What's that?"

"I'm not exactly sure. Places of power my ancestors created; they're rare too. I didn't understand what it was at the time…something happened – it froze this place in time."

"Purely coincidence." Edward assured me with both his words and a sly grin. He closed his eyes, I watched his stunning smile begin to slowly develop. "I missed this." Edward said in a whisper.

I sighed. I missed this too. I missed everything about being with Edward, and truthfully, it would have been far too easy to go back to the way things had been. Even now I could feel myself slowly falling back into old habits; nothing mattered to me as long as I was with Edward.

"I brought us here because we have some things to talk about." My voice sounded different even to me – it reminded me of my mother. It was a commanding aura when we spoke; giving us a sense of authority even when we had none.

Edward's smile faded away "I'm sure you have a lot you want to discuss."

Edward kept my hands in his but I couldn't help but notice his posture become more rigid while he waited in anticipation.

I nodded and began, having gone over this in my head many times, it didn't take much thought to begin my proposal.

"What do you think is going to happen from here?" I began; trying to keep my voice neutral.

Edward stayed very still, even his expression unmoving while he was carefully articulating a response. I sat there patiently – still focused on him – but was somehow at peace in my current surroundings.

"How things were." Edward said confidently, albeit carefully.

I sighed "We both know that isn't a possibility."

Edward's topaz eyes looked up at me knowingly before he asked "Then what would you have of me?"

I stood up on my knees just slightly and stared in his direction with the utmost confidence. "Change me."

"You know I can't do that."

I stood up straight, trying to channel all of my anger into a safe place that wouldn't leak onto Edward. The rage was building. So many years of frustration had been bottled up; most of that had been directed toward Edward…

"You aren't my only source. I can go to Carlisle." I said rebelliously.

Edward shook his head and shot me an arrogant grin "Carlisle won't do it

My jaw shifted "I can make any of you do it if I wanted." As I threatened him Edward glared at me – I couldn't be sure if it was anger or fear.

"But I won't, because I know someone who would revel at the opportunity to change" I whispered

"Who?"

"_The Volturi_."

Edward scoffed "You have no idea what you are saying right now."

I had more than enough time in captivity to develop a relatively strong understanding of the members of the Volturi and how they worked. It didn't take long before I realized Aros, one of the three brothers, was a collector of _gifted_ vampires. If Aros were to see me – There was not a single doubt in my mind that I would be his prized jewel. Something different than the rest. Should I go to the volturi, Aros would not hesitate to add me to his collection.

"I know exactly what I am saying." I almost growled.

"_You don't know what they're like Nathan" Edward scowled and stood to face me_

My vision of what Edward was about to say lasted less than a second but gave me ample time to correct the situation. "I know _exact_ly what they are like Edward. Either you will change me or you won't – But if you are going to keep on with this _bullshit_."

The rage was beginning again.

I could feel my tone and volume change, and despite my most earnest attempts to keep the magic from gathering around me, I could feel not only myself but the ground itself begin to shine.

"This _bullshit_ that has kept us apart. Are you worried about my soul Edward? I know you saw the fucking dream! So don't feed me those excuses" I yelled.

Edward stood and watched me carefully "Why are you so eager to become a monster?"

I sighed "I already am a monster"

"That isn't-"

Edward sighed – I could see the pain so clearly in his eyes it made me want to stop asking for this. Every part of me wanted to just change the subject so we could be happy again, but I knew this needed to happen. This needed to happen for us to be together.

"Do you realize that every time you ask this of me, you are asking me to kill you?" He said it with such intensity that would have made anyone else drop the subject.

"With death comes life."

It was my voice that whispered it – but they were not my words. Edward must have noticed the sudden change of demeanor because he stood there perfectly still for a moment. I scooted closer to him and let my hand drape across his shoulder, the physical contact allowed my to think more clearly with him in such proximity. At first all I wanted to do was kiss him – but after a few seconds I could feel even more grounded. _This needs to happen_, I reminded myself.

Edward's anger subsided and within moments a warmth and kindness radiated off of him. Before he even spoke I knew I had won the battle.

"When?" Edward asked through clenched teeth, clearly not pleased with the decision.

"As soon as possible." I admitted.

"You're so eager to leave this life behind…" Edward sighed.

His sigh provoked my own. I glanced at my bare arms that were peaking out from my short sleeved T-Shirt. Nearly every inch of my glowing skin was decorated with dozens of tiny scars. I paid attention to the marks for the first time since receiving them. Remembering my old skin, the innocent skin, every one of those scars reminded me of my time spent in captivity. They were ugly – and covered nearly every inch of my skin. I was ugly. I had done ugly things, but the worst part about it was that I had no regrets. I was an ugly person – and my only hope was that Edward would continue to love me after I all of this…

Edward must have seen me looking at the scars, "They're nothing. You'll always be beautiful to me." He whispered gingerly, his impossibly soft hand caressing the damaged expanse of my arm.

"It isn't just about what you think." I hissed.

Edward frowned but then leaned over and kissed my before pulling me into a tight hug. Both of us made the movement look effortless; melting into each other. I let the coldness of Edward surround me and took in all of the comfort that came with it. We sat there in embrace for some time before Edward broke the silence, speaking gently despite the serious subject "Are you afraid?"

"Yes." I answered honestly.

"What is it?"

"Your decision has been made…right?"

"Yes…But I don't want you going into this afraid."

My time as a prisoner had done much to shape my opinions on humans. Over those three years I developed such a disdain, a _hatred_ for everything human. There may be human blood running through my veins but I knew very well that I was fully Sidhe now. Human blood or not I was just as powerful as my ancestors and there was _nothing_ human about me.

"I hate humans."

Edward was silent next to me – his hesitation made me ill at ease.

"What is the other one?"

I sighed, trying to hold back the tears. I'd seen a lot of things – I knew how this would all play out in the end. It wasn't clear whether this was a good or bad thing…but chances are all of the Cullens would not be pleased with the result.

"Aro will try to steal me away."

Edward whispered into my ear, comforting me "There's no way he will know about you"

"He already does. Demetri has felt me…" I confessed.

"What? How could that have happened?" Edward said so quickly I had to take a moment to decipher his words.

"When I was imprisoned I tried to think of every way possible to find you. Everyone one earth besides you showed up in my visions. I spent days looking through the future, present, and past of your entire family in an attempt to find you. But no matter what there was no insight…

Eventually I looked toward to the Volturi. My original plan was to trick Demetri into tracking you but it somehow went awry before I could even begin. But somehow Demetri felt me watching him.

Its only a matter of time."

Edward remained silent – only speaking after I prodded him for his thoughts.

"We should go back Nathan. I need to speak with Alice and Carlisle."

I stood up and nodded, placing the most genuine appearing smile on my face. "Lets go."


End file.
